Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Spacegate World
(Cold opening. Cut to Shake on the couch as Meatwad is watching that puppet show.)
Puppet: This is your left, this is your right, hey……..wanna fight?
Shake: Change the channel Meatwad!
Meatwad: Make me boy.
Shake: I hate this show!
(The Puppet leaps from the TV and grabs Shake and beats him up.)
Meatwad: FRYLOCK! THE TV'S DOING……….that thing again.
(Opening credits. Cut to Frylock's room as he is typing away on his computer.)
Frylock: SHAKE! MEATWAD! COME OVER HERE!
(Meatwad rolls in with a bloodily and bruised Shake following close by.)
Meatwad: Yeah, what is it? Shake got beaten up the TV again.
Frylock: Shake, how many times have I………..TV? What?
Meatwad: Well…
Frylock: Never mind……..anyway, here's what I called you for.
(Frylock grabs an answering machine and lays it on the table.)
Shake: It's an answering machine, whoopee friggin' doo.
Frylock: It's not any old answering machine Shake.
Shake: So……..it's an "any new answering machine"?
Frylock: Listen! What I'm trying to say is that this answering machine can open a portal to the Spacegate World and then allows you to go to the past or the future.
Shake: I demand one! Wait, I want that one, I need it now!
Frylock: Well, I'm just saying to look after it because I'm going out this weekend.
Meatwad: YOU CAN'T GO! You can't leave me with Shake!
Frylock: Well, I'll be back Sunday night from the Sc-Fi Convention.
(Frylock hovers to the luggage to his bed and grabs it and hovers off to the living room as Shake and Meatwad follow with Shake holding the "Spacegate World Portal Machine".)
Frylock: Be careful with it, Shake. It's very fragile and anything you do can cause a major confliction in the space-time continuum and….
Shake: Yeah, whatever, you can trust me……dawg.
Frylock: No………….I can't.
(Pause.)
Frylock: C'mon Meatwad, take me to the Sc-Fi convention.
Meatwad: Yeah, okay. I suppose no-one cares my neck can break and then I'll call child services!
Shake: What neck? I see no neck!
Meatwad: Hey………look closely and you'll see a neck!
Shake: Oh…..that piece of bone that sticks out of you're beneath your mouth when you see a hot babe?
Meatwad: That's not a neck, that's something that should be only a concern to me!
Frylock: Well, let's get going Meatwad. Off to the Danger Cart.
(Meatwad rolls off with Frylock.)
Frylock: (V.O) REMEMBER WHAT I SAID!
Shake: I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! Jeez!
(Shake lays the Spacegate World Portal Machine on the ground.)
Shake: What if I go back five minutes ago?
(Shake bends over and presses five and then the options button and then clicks minutes when it cuts back to the first scene with Meatwad watching the puppet show.)
Past Shake: I hate this sho………..any what's up that Shake guy?
Past Meatwad: Looks like you boy.
Shake: I am………..uh, um………Future Shake.
Past Shake: Oh my God!
(Past Shake bends down and hails Shake.)
Shake: I can get used to this kind of treatment from myself.
Past Meatwad: Yeah, you already worship yourself.
Shake: Oh and how you little prick!
Past Meatwad: You have pictures of yourself plastered in the bathroom.
Past Shake: (stands back up) I took those down!
Shake: Yeah, I remember doing that!
Past Meatwad: And you think you're so much better then everyone else when you're really….
(Shake grabs Past Meatwad and throws him at the TV as it explodes, killing Past Meatwad as Past Frylock hovers in.)
Past Frylock: What was that noise and………..OH MY GOD!
Shake: Hey Frylock………I went inside your little portal thing!
Past Shake: What portal thing? What are you talking about!
Past Frylock: I was just going to call you down to see my Spacegate World Portal Machine and I see a Future Shake and a present Shake…….and………why's Meatwad dead?
(Pause.)
Past Frylock: Wait a minute, Meatwad's dead! OH MY GOD!
Past Shake: Me and Future Shake were talking and………it's Future Shake's fault!
(Past Shake hobbles out the front door and enters Carl's car and takes the wheel and drives off left as Past Frylock and Shake are out the front door now.)
Past Frylock: Well someone has to take me to the Sc-Fi convention.
(Cut to a close-up of Shake's face as he seems to be struggling with someone.)
Shake: Okay……….I'm going to do it! I'm going to do it, it………I'm going to, to…..
(Cut to Past Carl tied to the Danger Cart dragging it along with Past Frylock inside while Shake is trying to squeeze a piece of his drink out.)
Shake: I will do it!
Past Carl: I was in middle of having sex with two fine hookers and you…….you had to drag me away!
(Shake squirts green lime flavor all over Past Carl.)
Past Carl: Oh what is this now?
Shake: I'm getting you a-movin' boy.
Past Carl: Wait…………..WHERE'S MY CAR!
Shake: That doesn't matter now Carl, what matters is……..is getting Frylock to his little Sc-Fi Convention………or like I like to call it, a nerd gathering.
Past Carl: Stop talking you're distracting me!
Past Frylock: It's not a nerd gathering Future Shake.
Past Carl: I'm trying to pull as fast as I can!
Shake: Maybe you'll be faster if you weren't so (BLEEP)ing fat!
Past Carl: Oh no you take that back!
(Past Carl lets go of the Danger Cart as it starts to go off by itself.)
Shake: GO FRYLOCK GO!
Past Frylock: Come back here Carl!
(Past Frylock hovers out as he somehow falls back in as the cart hits a wall and explodes. Cut back to Shake and Past Carl.)
Past Carl: Oh crap.
Shake: I just ruined the space-time thingy!
(A red-haired hooker who's chain smoking walks up to Carl.)
Red-Haired Hooker: Where's my money?
Past Carl: You know where it is!
Red-Haired Hooker: In your pants?
Past Carl: No, in the pool.
(The Red-Haired Hooker walks off to the pool and screams as Past Carl and Shake hobble off to the pool as it's full of pee.)
Red-Haired Hooker: Is that pee?
Shake: Oh gross Carl.
Past Carl: It's you cup………it's you! You did this!
Shake: Whoa, I might be a tad uncontrollable, but I'm not an animal or a savage……..or Meatwad.
(Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future bobs up from under the pee.)
Past Carl: WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE!
Cybernetic Ghost: I'm the Cybernetic Ghost from Christmas Past from the Future……and I like pee. I added three words to my name.
Shake: Like, that isn't long enough!
Red-Haired Hooker: That's four words.
Shake: Who are you?
Red-Haired Hooker: The red-haired hooker.
(Pause. The Cybernetic Ghost stabs the Red-Haired Hooker until she explodes in an "orgy" of blood.)
Past Carl: Oh wonderful, one of my hookers died, I'm stuck with some Shake from the future and the Cybernetic Ghost guy's back…….and my pool is full of blood.
Cybernetic Ghost: Pee………it's pee.
Shake: Yeah was it pee…….because that's gross.
Cybernetic Ghost: I've just been told by friends that half your house is made by the men's room of the Ancient East.
Past Carl: Now that just doesn't make sense.
Cybernetic Ghost: Well, thousands of years ago……
(Clouds arise.)
Past Carl: Yeah……..(clouds stop) Just give me the gist.
Cybernetic Ghost: To get and appreciate the Men's Room of the Ancient East, one must tell the full story!
Past Carl: No………just give me a gist.
Cybernetic Ghost: There was a Men's Room of the Ancient East, it appeared when the Spacegate World Portal came out of nowhere, and the men's room was used by Egyptian Gods and Kings, except for the Mummies who peed themselves because they were stupid.
Shake: We said gist, no your life story…
Past Carl: Shut up cup.
Cybernetic Ghost: The Mummies were jealous of this technology and they formed an army and waged war against the Men's Room of the Ancient East, the Kings and God's had their own armies and they killed the Mummies but, along the way, the Men's Room of the Ancient East was bulldozed by feminist groups to make room for the Women's Room of the Ancient East, the Kings and Gods tried to use them, but they got sprayed with "perfume", and they say that the remains of the Men's Room of the Ancient East was used to make this "exact house" and the Gods are made so let your water run with sewerage.
Past Carl: Yeah………how does this concern you?
Cybernetic Ghost: I got involved on this mission…….because…….I like pee.
Shake: Yeah……..I'm going to the future.
Cybernetic Ghost: In the future, the Gods will run their blood and….
Shake: Shut up.
(Shake grabs the Spacegate World Portal Machine and he pressed the "5 Million years button and they are in the ruins of Carl's house.)
Past Carl: What happened here?
Cybernetic Ghost: You had an erection…………….and it exploded……..along with the house.
Shake: …………gross.
Cybernetic Ghost: Carl's crabs exploded while he was trying to induce an erection so he can masturbate………it exploded along with the house. All there is now is the remains of Carl, the remains of the house, blood……..and semen. And pee.
(Past Carl looks at the ruined Aqua Teen house.)
Past Carl: How come your house is still standing? Huh, cup?
Cybernetic Ghost: They didn't attempt masturbation…….
Shake: Hey…….I hear music.
Cybernetic Ghost: Say NO to "masturbation".
(Cut inside the ruined decay of the Aqua Teen house as a cyborg (Future) Past Shake is sleeping on the couch as he has a display cabinet that holds (Future) Past Meatwad inside as Shake barges in with Past Carl and the Cybernetic Ghost.)
Shake: WHAT THE HELL! I THOUGHT MEATWAD WAS DEAD MEAT!
(Future) Past Shake: WHAT………….oh no it's you!
Shake: Yeah, yeah……it's me.
Cybernetic Ghost: Meatwad was resurrected by Dr. Weird.
Past Carl: Who's Dr. Weird?
Shake: I think Frylock has a picture of him.
Cybernetic Ghost: Meatwad was resurrected by Dr. Weird and built a cabinet for Meatwad to live inside Shake, for it's the only way he can live because the oxygen in the outside world would make him melt………to pee.
(Future) Past Meatwad: I DON'T WANT TO TURN TO PEE!
Cybernetic Ghost: Then stay in there.
Past Carl: How do you know all this stuff?
Cybernetic Ghost: I don't masturbate.
(Pause.)
Cybernetic Ghost: And I like pee.
Past Carl: No, no……..thing is………why do you like pee and what do you have against masturbation.
Cybernetic Ghost: Pee tastes like………cherry milk.
Past Carl: Yeah, so what about……
Cybernetic Ghost: Semen tastes like regular plain milk.
(Pause.)
Shake: Um……….
(Future) Past Meatwad: We didn't want to know that.
(Travis of the Cosmos walks in with his tentacle inside Frylock's corpse.)
Travis: (through Frylock) Me go to go bathroom.
(Future) Past Shake: You know where it is so do it.
(Travis starts peeing on the floor.)
Past Carl: Gross.
Shake: Pee on the remains you monster!
Travis: (through Frylock) I pay rent with own money I make at Powerpuff Mall!
Shake: How come that alien's living here?
Past Carl: Yeah……..why?
Cybernetic Ghost: Because….
(Future) Past Meatwad: Nah let me explain…..he lives here now because his machine then he talk through exploded millions of years ago, so that thought hit us last week so we felt sorry for him when we heard he ain't living anyway so we got him a place to stay.
(Future) Past Shake: SHUT UP!
Cybernetic Ghost: The alien pee smells like vomit………good tasteful vomit.
Past Carl: So you like drinking and eating disgusting things?
Travis: (through Frylock) The ghost is disgusting……the cyber guy, he visit us about pee in our pool.
Past Carl: Now you own my pool!
Travis: (through Frylock) Well you dead, you buried in backyard.
Past Carl: Couldn't I just be brought back or something?
Travis: (through Frylock) Only Frylock could do that…..he dead now.
Past Carl: Well I'm back……..and I want my pool.
Shake: His the Carl from the past, boy.
Travis: (through Frylock) Good for him.
Shake: Oh man the future sucks……let's go to the Stone Age.
(Shake grabs the Spacegate World Portal Machine and presses 20 million years ago and is back to the times of cavemen as Caveman Shake, Caveman Frylock, Caveman Meatwad, Caveman Carl, Caveman Dr. Weird and Caveman Steve walk up to the group.)
Travis: (through Frylock) Where we now bitches?
Cybernetic Ghost: We're back to……..the Stone Age.
(A knife gets thrown at the Cybernetic Ghost as he explodes.)
Cybernetic Ghost: I SHOULD'VE SEEN THAT COMING!
Caveman Dr. Weird: That cool.
Caveman Steve: Yeah, me find knife.
Caveman Frylock: Damn you guys sound such like cavemen.
(Future) Past Shake: Um…….maybe because you are cavemen.
Caveman Carl: Me no find no babe for ages.
Past Carl: Yeah……..good for you pal, in a million years how do you think I feel.
Shake: Where's that Travis guy gone?
Caveman Shake: Who in hell Travis!
Caveman Meatwad: Yeah…….in hell.
All Three Shakes: SHUT UP MEATWAD!
(Cut to Travis on the road with a harpoon in his back as Caveman Steve walks over and grabs Travis and rips him in half and eats one half and gives the other half to Caveman Dr. Weird and he eats the other half.)
Caveman Frylock: Is that a dead me over there!
Shake: Yes, no………maybe………I don't know!
Caveman Shake: That's what I was about to say.
(Future) Past Shake: Me too.
(Future) Past Meatwad: Shut up Shakes.
((Future) Past Meatwad gets out of the cabinet and gets out of the cabinet and grabs a light-saber and walks to Shake as (Future) Past Meatwad melts into pee.)
Past Carl: What do you know; the Cybernetic Ghost guy was right.
Caveman Meatwad: Damn boy.
Shake: This is the Cavemen Times…….how come there's a road?
Caveman Shake: We build road to……
Shake: Ew, Carl you're eating Frylock.
Past Carl: No I'm not, that caveman me is!
Shake: Get away from me cannibal!
(Shake runs out to the road when his crushed by a huge, running dinosaur. End credits.)
Starring
Dana Snyder as Master Shake, Past Shake, Future Shake, Caveman Shake
Carey Means as Frylock, Past Frylock, Caveman Frylock
Dave Willis as Meatwad, Past Meatwad, Future Meatwad, Caveman Meatwad, Past Carl, Caveman Carl, Travis of the Cosmos
C. Martin Croker as Caveman Dr. Weird and Caveman Steve
Guest Starring
Matt Maierello as Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future