Not being a great fan of breaking the rules, I have changed my essay into somewhat of a story-format through editing.

Sakura sat down in a plush armchair opposing her computer. Today was going to be a long day. She was filling in for an author with the pseudonym of Esther-Brie. Sometimes she regretted putting that ad in the paper for telepathic skills. It meant that she had to send her brain waves all the way across the world to America, in a certain state, in a certain city, certain location. The authoress would telepathically tell her what to write, and then she (Sakura) would type the essay, and email it to her for publication. Apparently the girl was caught up by some rule and needed her to be the one to write it.

Her fingers hovered over the keys, as she linked to Esther-Brie's brainwaves. She recieved an image of a white house with black trimmings, and then the authoress seemed to realize Sakura's entrance.

Thanks so much, Sakura heard. You're quite good. Very punctual!

It's my job. Go ahead and start thinking your essay to me.

Sakura's fingers flew over her keyboard as she transcribed Esther-Brie's rapid burst of ideas.

-

On the Subject of Mary-Sues

from Esther-Brie

We've all heard of the Mary-Sue. (Or, at least, many writers have.) You hear lots of rants against the Sues, but there are still so many of them around. What's a writer to do? Sometimes it seems like Sues are lurking around corners with their ridiculously large weapons held tightly against their curvaceous bodies, just waiting for the chance to strike you with their lightning-quick reflexes and make your story—insert shudder here—Mary-Sue. And it seems, the more determined you are to avoid Sueness, the less you enjoy writing: it's just so hard! People agonize over their stories, not wanting to change what they've written, but feeling terrible about "that one part" where Ms. X seems to be a Mary-Sue. Soon, "that one part" has become "that one chapter", and soon it is "that one story I wrote". The quest for the Anti-Sue is a rigorous one. Some suggest making the protagonist uglier: however, look at Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine. The main character is very ugly, but she is still Sue. Some suggest making the character weak: look at Jasmine from Aladdin. To be sure, these might work sometime, but it seems that at least one thing will worm its way in to make your character Suddenly Sue. With this in mind, we should face two facts…

Fact #1: Fan fiction is…fiction. And fiction is a made-up story. Do you tell your friends stories about that one time when you ate a sandwich? No! Your friends would be bored and/or weirded out. But, if you came to those same friends with a story about the time you stayed on a live bucking bronco for forty whole seconds—that's a big thing. Stories are about big things, things that people don't ordinarily experience. They're not about things that everybody's done, that's a tired drone. People mainly read fiction to be entertained. They want characters that are different, but relatable at the same time. They want situations that are exciting and different and somewhat impossible. That's because Jill the reader doesn't experience those things all the time. If she did, she wouldn't be reading the story, because she would already know what it was like. Although some writers write about common situations, those stories will put a new spin to it, making the story new.

Fact #2: Every character is a certain amount of Sue due to the reasons listed above. Don't get me wrong! I don't support the all-beautiful, daring, tragic, soul-scarred, angsting personality that characterizes the Mary-Sue. But let's be real, girls: you, if you are twelve or older, have probably by this time angsted about something. Maybe you angsted late at night about whether some guy likes you. Maybe you angsted about the fact that you had a lot of chores. Maybe you angsted about the teacher who seems to pick on you all the time. Girls angst and get emotional. We cry, we laugh, we yell.

Just for fun, and because lists are amazing (see Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie by David Lubar for really, really fun lists) let's list off some breeds of Mary-Sue. (If there is a breed of Sue I don't know about, please PM me a link to the story containing the Sue or a very clearly written description of the character!)

Warrior/Special Power Sue: This Sue is beautiful and very, very strong, and perhaps very fast. She is close kin to the Fireball Sue, but she swears less and angsts more, and she often works for revenge or supposed, "honor". Sometimes she is calmer than the Fireball Sue. She is of course in the hero's league if he is a fighter. She impresses both him and others with her fighting skills and is often in a high position or at least respected. (Strangely enough, however good of a fighter she is, she often must work together with the hero, and always has time to spend with him, though logically she should have very little time. Someone so good ought to be in high demand.) If she is from a clan of fighters (she often is) she is commonly the best or the last. She angsts about her clan's death at the hands of an often prominent bad guy, but she doesn't go after said bad guy until later. The Warrior Sue is often forced into comical situations where she must pretend to be in a romantic relationship with the hero in order to complete a mission. Sometimes she protects small girls who have special powers, who often get her into danger and/or bring her closer to her romantic object. Oftentimes the Warrior Sue will have large weapons or very intense powers. She is commonly the "childhood friend" figure for one of the heroes.

Fireball Sue: These Sues are those potty-mouthed strongwomen who are so gorgeous and scornful at the same time. Yes, they have many, many, many admirers, but she turns them all down, often in a violent manner. She's not afraid to be violent and cusses like a sailor. The Fireball Sue is often also an Outcast Sue or a Warrior Sue or both. She thinks that the romantic object is a jerk at first, and really, really dislikes him, but eventually she's tricked into liking him, even though no other guy had a chance with her. One thing that's really hard to understand about these Sues is why on earth the guys like her (she's mean and crude) and why on earth they don't try something new (Real men are much more inventive than her admirers. They would've found a way to romance her by now.) She usually hasn't had her first kiss and is fiercely independent. The hero chuckles at her a lot and thinks her outbursts are cute. The Fireball Sue is one of the most prone to unwanted suggestive situations, which she either gets her way out of (violently) or is rescued from by the hero.

Bad Girl Sue: By "bad girl" I mean, "in league with the antagonist". (I think that I should insert here that I mostly read Naruto fan-fictions, therefore these categories will probably sound like they are coming from that region.) These girls are nearly always powerful. They can either be reluctant to do the bidding of the antagonist, or they can be very willing. Often either the main or a side antagonist will have a crush on this Sue, and will have to compete with the hero for her affections. Sometimes this Sue is held hostage by the good guys and thus falls in love with the hero. Perhaps it is the other way around. Sometimes this Sue will inexplicably be given a mission to infiltrate the good guys, and her loyalties (however long she may have had them) will change over to the good side. This girl paradoxically doesn't have as much angst as other Sues do, although it would seem she has the most to angst about. She is among the most prone to tragic endings where she gives her life for the hero.

Innocent Sue: This Sue is very cute and bubbly, and charms everyone she meets. She is very optimistic and sometimes a little mischievous. She is a best friend of at least one heroine from the original story, and she often has an older brother who looks after her (but not closely enough to keep her from rendezvous with the hero, of course!) Her signature move is to put her hands on her hips or her finger to her lower lip. She can be very ditzy, clumsy, and slow. She is usually the last one to realize that the hero likes her and the last one to start crushing. (Although, in real life, such girls are usually very prone to crushes, but of course, Mary-Sue's first crush is almost always the hero, no matter how old they are. This ignores several basic laws of…normalcy.) She is very susceptible to sudden kissing and is very innocent in the subject of sex. This Sue often finds small, cute baby animals that follow her adoringly and/or protect her. The Innocent Sue is very, very capable of becoming a Kidnappee or Princess Sue because of her nature. She will sometimes have very intense powers she's been hiding for all her life.

New Girl Sue: These Sues are naturally impressive, sometimes very shy. They are never average, and it's a plus if they were sent to this new place where the hero lives by their cruel, miscellaneous relatives. She learns very quickly and is shockingly gorgeous. The room goes silent at her first entrance. She speaks in a quiet voice, usually without a smidgen of arrogance. Now, the New Girl Sue has usually been horribly emotionally scarred in her past life by teasing or some other form of abuse. It is never fully explained why no one in her new environment doesn't take up the teasing again. (Actually, nice people are rarely teased by everyone, no matter how weird they might appear. Weirdness like cat ears or wings wouldn't be teased about in the normal world, I would think. People would be amazed and want to touch the strange appendages. She wouldn't be able to walk down a crowded street for fear of being mauled by fawning admirers of her uniqueness.)

Princess Sue: Ah, the apex of femininity or rebellion. These Sues are covered in glittering apparel and honors, and they are either good at what they do or positively hate their cloistered life. They have at least one loyal maidservant. Very often, they are on a journey on which the hero must protect them; during the course of this journey she falls in love with him. If she is going on this journey to be betrothed to someone she doesn't love, so much the better. There's lots of angst about not wanting to marry anyone but the hero. Possibly a huge rescue scene. The Princess Sue often has long, flowing hair and lovely gowns/kimonos described in loving detail. She has the best past out of any of the Sues. She can have a variety of different personalities, including Innocent, Fireball, or Warrior. A speech about duty might be found with this Sue.

Kidnappee Sue: This Sue, Princess, Warrior, Fireball, Innocent…whatever she is, the bad guys have kidnapped her. All of them treat her coldly save for the romantic figure, who comforts her in her terror. Perhaps he even releases her sometime later in the story because of his love for her. She could have been kidnapped for a small variety of different reasons: to lure one of the good guys (who often has a conflicting romantic interest in her) into their trap, or to use her skills for their own dark purposes. Perhaps they want information out of her. Whatever the reason, she either escapes or joins them. The Kidnappee Sue tries to escape at least once, and is caught by the romantic interest and dragged back. She spends a lot of her time tied up, perhaps being teased by the male bad guys. Her past is versatile. It was either golden-stained, or horrid.

Outcast: The outcast is cool and calm and not associated with the bad guys or the good guys. She usually lives on her own in an out-of-the-way place when she somehow meets up with the romantic figure and/or his friends. She could have been wounded and been rescued by them (a popular choice) or perhaps she decided to help/was helped by them in a time of trouble. She is far more likely to meet the good guys than the bad guys. She and the goody guys suddenly share a common enemy. Working together to defeat this enemy (or working to incorporate her into the good guy's lifestyle after she has been mortally injured and is healing) she falls in love with the romantic interest. After the resolution of the conflict, they live together happily-ever-after-the-end.

Ah, so many Sues! Now that we've reviewed some forms of Sue, I'll continue.

Look at the common factors that we usually agree characterize the Mary-Sue:

Common Factors of the Mary-Sue

1. Beautiful

2. Special

3. Powerful

4. Attractive (This is different front beauty. It is the ability to attract people to yourself. You can be beautiful but very unattractive if you are as mean as a Tasmanian devil.)

5. Charismatic (Closely related to attraction.)

Who in their whole life hasn't wanted to be one of these at one point in time? You see, this is why Sues exist. In our great hunger to be accepted, we create characters who get everything that we feel we don't have. We want these characters to be able to be strong despite a rough ride in life, we want them to cry at the right moments, to not get embarrassed so much they cry at the wrong times. We want their laugh, their words, their eyes to charm the hero into being romantic and rescuing her. We want to be rescued by someone who will care for us, respect us, be devoted to us, understand us, validate our feelings, and reassure us. We create characters so pumped full of specialness that we just know any boy would treat that girl in all the right ways. What we do not understand is that boys don't think that way. They want to be trusted, accepted, approved of, admired, encouraged, and appreciated. That leads me off onto a tangent, but I'm going to explain this tangent for the hope of a better psyche in Mary-Sue writers and a better general understanding of the male species.

Men aren't looking for caring; they're looking for trust. They want to be trusted in that their abilities are good enough to get them through their problems. A woman seeks what she sees as caring: being able to listen to her without offering a solution: just listening and caring and validating her feelings. She wants the man to say, "That's hard," rather than, "You can easily overcome that." To a woman, that sounds like he doesn't care. Saying to a man, "You can easily overcome that," makes him happy, because you are telling him his abilities are good enough to overcome his problem and showing him that you admire him. A woman wants to be understood when she expresses her feelings by being validated. She doesn't want the man to say that she has no right to feel that way, or for him to list off reasons why she shouldn't feel that way, she wants him to say that she has a right to feel the way she does. He, on the other hand, being a male, sees apologies as an expression of guilt, and he is afraid of being found guilty because he might lose her approval and acceptance if he admits that he really did do something that hurt her. The woman wants to be respected and desires the man's devotion, so that when she asks him to change his ways, he will. The man feels she doesn't accept him the way he is and sees her desire for him to change as unappreciative of his efforts. He definitely does not feel encouraged.

That's a chunk of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus by John Gray in a nutshell. (That's one big nut. By the way, this is an excellent book for anyone who writes romances and wants them to sound really realistic.)

Moving along, because of this desire for caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance, we female writers fall head over heels for romance novels where the girls are unrealistic and are determined to make ours just as "perfect". But soon our characters become static and clone-like. They seem basically the same all the time. The question is, should the Mary-Sue be eliminated, and if it should, how must it be done?

The answer is, yes and no.

Mary-Sues are somewhat endearing. We think, "If only I could be as strong/smart/beautiful/nice/interesting as she is." We do not realize that we are capable of being much more interesting than a collection of words on a screen and possibly a few drawings. But that is another matter.

Sue is not only a person, it is an environment. You could make a Mary-Sue character as Sue-like as you want and place her into a situation where she has no romantic interests. (Others might not even label her a Sue in this situation, because Sues are heavily associated with romance.) There are possibilities galore!

Mary-Sues are the kind of women we can admire—sometimes—because they know what they want (or their environment seems to know what they want) and it happens. Things are always happening to a Sue. She never has those "average days" that just drag by slowly. She has a conflict to resolve, a person to look for, something she is always looking forward to or trying to figure out, and in light of all this…isn't that what a character is? Characters

Resolve conflicts

Do interesting things

Are relatable

In the midst of a busy world

The sleepy little town of Expositionhood is always rocked by a conflict. The Sue, however gross she might seem, is nothing but a gross exaggeration of a character. Yes, the Sue should be characteristically slimmed down: she should be missing at least one or two aspects of a Sue or she will sicken more experienced readers, but the Sue must at the same time stay. Faced with the decision of your death or someone else's, the real truth is that most of us would choose to live. Yes, it sounds cowardly and awful, and you are most certainly thinking, "I am one of the few who would rather die," but deep down, would you? But Sues always make the right decision; they always choose to sacrifice themselves rather than to see another person suffer. They don't hold back because they are afraid of being wrong or hurting someone's feelings or looking bad: they do what is right no matter how much it will cost them.

My vote, due to the reasons described above, is that a certain amount of Sue spirit should stay. Who wants to read a story about a woman as flawed as we are? We want a heroine. We think this heroine should be rewarded for her right choices and her good nature, and we long for the ultimately good heart. Readers long for the experiences they have never felt before in a story, the side they never hear, and the voice they never had, the life they never lived. Sues are popular for this reason: to a flawed person, Sues are new.

So, what's a writer to do?

-

Esther-Brie suddenly halted her idea stream. Sakura's hands fell to her sides. She was breathing heavily from the exhaustion of keeping up with the authoress' vigorous wordiness and tangents.

What do you think should come next? she recieved.

Something very, very short! Sakura replied.

I'm sorry.

Don't sweat it. I wouldn'tve offered to do the job if I wasn't capable.

Still, I am sorry. How about a couplet?

Don't stress about it, you

Accept some Mary-Sue.

-

Tearing a brush through her short, pink hair later, Sakura decided she would call the newspaper and ask for that ad to be taken out.