Hey there! It's another joint venture between Jyxxie and RubySaphireMoon. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: Neither of us own FMA or any of its characters.
"I can't believe we made it back!" Al exclaimed enthusiastically. "And it only took us three months!"
"Yeah, everyone is gonna be surprised to see us again," Ed replied with a grin. "So let's celebrate with some fireworks! Come on, I'll make a rocket to set
them off when we get to Central!"
"Brother, are you sure that's a good-"
"Oh lighten up! It'll be fine. What could go wrong?"
Famous last words.
"Ahhh. How I love the clean, fresh air!"
"Too bad it'll be filled with smoke." Al muttered.
"Oh, it's not that bad, little bro! It's just a little bit of exhaust and then the fireworks are way up in the sky. Come on, you saw them in Munich!"
Before Al could respond, they heard a sharp gasp behind them.
"Elrics?"
Turning, they faced a very shocked Maria Ross.
"You came back! I knew you wouldn't die on us!"
Ed grinned nervously, still holding the large rocket in his arms.
"Can't keep us away from home. We missed everyone too much."
"Oh! Brigadier General Mustang will want to see you right away!"
She grabbed them, leaving no room for argument, and dragged them toward HQ.
"Aaah! W-we can walk, you know!" Al stuttered, trotting behind her, watching as Ed struggled to keep up with the heavy rocket.
"Yeah! C'mon, let us go! We didn't come home just to run away!"
"That's beside the point. The Brigadier General will be so excited to see you!"
"So he's taken his old rank back?" Al asked curiously.
"Indeed." Maria nodded her head in affirmation. "He decided he couldn't just sit around doing nothing. He's going for his old ambitions too."
"Fuhrer?" Ed snorted. "S-sorry. It's admirable. I just had a mental image of him as a one-eyed captain of a pirate ship."
"Actually," Ross interjected. "Dr. Marcoh healed his eye. With a stone, they say."
Ed's eyes widened. "Dr. Marcoh had a stone? He could do that?" He grinned hopefully. "Do you think he could restore my ar-"
"No," Maria interrupted, a sad look to her face. "Dr. Marcoh passed away only a week ago. The stone he had was over-used and rebounded."
Al's eyes widened. "So he.. gave his life to help the Brigadier General?"
"Not intentionally, but yes." Maria sighed. "He still blames himself."
"That's stupid!" Edward yelled. "Even after everything he's done for the country? For you? For us?"
"It's not difficult to see why, though. Dr. Marcoh was his friend. He's lost so many friends already.. Lt. Colonel Hughes, Dr. Marcoh, and to his
knowledge, you and your brother."
"No. That's dumb. That damn asshole actually has me worried. C'mon, we gotta hurry!"
"Would you please stop insulting him for once, Edward?!" Maria nearly yelled, before looking as though she'd committed a crime. "I apologize for my
outburst. But for however arrogant he may act, he's done more for people other than himself than you'd realize."
"Yeah yeah, I know. I've had first-hand experience. Now let's hurry before he does something stupid."
Ed turned, running toward Central HQ, an exasperated Al and Ross behind him.
"Brigadier General?" Maria knocked on the door to Roy's office, peeking her head in.
Roy looked up in mild surprise. "Second Lieutenant Ross. To what do I owe this surprise visit?"
"I have excellent ne-"
"ROCKET DELIVERY!" Ed yelled, walking in with the rocket in his arms. "Just for Colonel Mustang!"
"That voice...It can't be..."
"Come on, your other eye was healed! You can't be blind," Ed snorted derisively, setting the rocket in the middle of the floor. It was nearly as tall as Ed
himself.
"Oh brother, be nice," Al muttered, walking in behind Ed.
"..Edward.." Roy's voice came out as a whisper.
"Good, he's not blind." Ed grinned, walking over to Roy's desk and hopping up onto it, his woolen pants sliding across the polished surface easily,
allowing Roy full view of his still-well-toned ass.
"You can stop drooling," Edward said, smirking as he noticed Roy's gaze.. his staring.
"..Uh, Brigadier General?" Ross said, confused as to why Roy was staring at another man's ass.
Roy waved them off.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to speak to Fullmetal alone. He has an overdue report."
"Speak, sure," Al muttered, shaking his head. {Knowing Brother, they'll be on the couch in minutes.} "Well, let's leave them alone, 2nd Lieutenant Ross."
"Yessir." Ross left with Alphonse, the two state alchemists left alone in Roy's office.
"So, Edward. Where have you..been...?"
"In Deutschland!" Ed said with a big grin. "Building rockets."
"You do realize I have no idea what a rocket is or where...Doucheland?"
"Ze wunderbar land of kiffle and kuchen!" Ed replied with a snicker.
"Wunderbar of what now?" Roy asked, confusion clear on his face.
Ed just laughed, leaning back on the desk. However, he soon lost balance and fell backward, landing right in Roy's lap.
"Well well well. You seem awfully eager to get between my legs, don't you, Edward." Roy purred, ignoring the mild pain from Ed's sudden falling pressure on his loins.
"Wh-HEY! Shut up, you pervert!" Ed yelled, struggling to get up as quickly as he could-but, perhaps subconsciously, his rising caused his face to come
within millimeters of Roy's, and the two were soon staring eye to eye.
Taking a chance, Roy gently placed his lips on Ed's, waiting for a reaction.
Within Roy's line of sight, Ed raised his automail hand, looking as though he was going to slap Roy away. However, the hand faltered, slowly lowering as
Ed's face heated up.. and he accepted the kiss.
Roy inwardly smirked. The boy certainly knew what he was doing. It made Roy wonder if this wasn't his first kiss. Pulling away, Roy smiled. A real smile.
"My my. You certainly seem to have experience under your belt."
Ed's lips turned up in a sly smile.
"Under my belt, you say? Well Roy, let's find out about that."
Picking the smaller alchemist up, Roy carried him to a small door. Pushing it open, Edward wasn't sure whether or not he should be surprised that Roy had a bedroom adjoining his office.
"...Do I want to know?"
Roy chuckled, setting Ed down onto the bed.
"Normal people get tired, Edward."
"..Yeah, and you do?" Not-so-subtly insulting Roy's lack of normality.
"I think I fall under the normal people category."
"HAH! Bullshit!" Ed laughed, but silenced when Roy leaned over him. "Ahh.. what are you doing?"
"Why Edward, you implied yourself what you wanted. I was merely fulfilling that wanting."
"Well I-I didn't think you were serious!" Ed stammered. "I thought you liked women!"
"Edward, Edward, Edward...You should know, I've had as many male partners as female. Just because women talk too much doesn't mean it isn't true."
Ed's eyes widened.
"Wh-you're just a total whore!" Ed exclaimed. "And now I'm just another one of your.. your toys! Like hell!"
Roy laughed.
"I am not a whore. I simply have a healthy sexual appetite. And none of my partners were toys. All of them were told I was simply looking for a one-
nighter."
"Yeah well I don't DO one-nighters! I'm looking for love!" Ed yelled, but moments afterward, his face flushed when he realized what he'd admitted.
"And whose to say I'm not?"
"..With me?" Ed asked, eyes widening.
Roy smiled. He pushed Edward back on the bed slowly, his mouth close to Edward's ear.
"We'll just have to see, now won't we."
Just as Roy was beginning to softly kiss Ed's neck and cause the younger man to let slip a moan, the door opened, revealing Al, Havoc and Hawkeye.
Ed's head snapped up at the sudden influx of light in the room. When he saw the group, he suddenly leapt off the bed, his metal shoulder hitting Roy in the
face in the sudden jolt.
"HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING?!" Ed screamed, face beet-red.
Roy growled.
"I thought I made it clear that I didn't want any interruptions."
"Sorry sir, but I wanted to be sure that you were safe," Hawkeye replied. "There's a strange.. thing in the middle of the floor of your office, and
Alphonse mentioned that it was combustible."
"I said you have to light it first!" Al exclaimed, apparently having explained this before.
"Yea, and Mustang is the Flame alchemist," Havoc stated.
Roy eyed the rocket behind the intruding group. Smirking, he snapped, sending flames toward the small metal object.
Ed's eyes widened in horror.
"MUSTANG YOU COMPLETE DUMBASS DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID?!"
Roy laughed almost cruelly.
"Oops!" He swiftly grabbed Edward up bridal style and led him down a hatch, away from the others.
"EVERYONE OUT!" Al suddenly hollered, running for the office exit. He began yelling in the halls about an 'imminent explosion', his voice heard by the
escaping Ed and Roy.
"Mustang, that's a ROCKET! I know you don't know what they are but they go BOOM! Let me go I have to stop it!"
"In case you haven't noticed, we are in a canal under the hallways, heading out of HQ as we speak. And before you ask, no, I didn't install them. These are
in every room."
"That's NOT GOING TO HELP THE OTHERS!" Ed squirmed away from Roy, shooting up the ladder back toward the office as swiftly as a squirrel up a tree.
Roy laughed.
"Relax! Haven't you ever heard of a fuse shortage?!" Roy groaned and headed after Ed. "Al said it would explode! Get back here, Fullmetal!"
"Get up here and be my damn heat shield!" Ed yelled down.
Roy snorted.
"Nice to know you care about your lover."
Ed yelled out in frustration.
"We haven't done anything yet! Now get up here!"
Roy sighed, climbing up the ladder.
"Dammit. Can't you just come to my house and we can have fun."
"LATER." Ed raced into the office, spotting at how close the rocket was to going off. "ALPHOOONSE!"
Al, hearing his brother's yell, quickly sped to Roy's office, arriving just in time to see Roy appear behind Ed.. and the fuse burn up.
"Oh shi-"
Sparks began to fly. Ed grabbed Roy and pulled him behind the doorway, Al ducking out into the hallway. All three narrowly avoided the incoming insanity.
Lift was achieved. The rocket flew upward, quickly stopped by the ceiling. It fell back down to the floor, bolted off into the wall, before turning a few
times, finally zooming into the hallway just outside the office, where it stopped.. and began shooting off the fireworks themselves.
Al yelped, leaping back inside the office for cover, finally racing toward the safe, secluded room Ed and Roy were holed up in.
"BROTHER BROTHER IT'S GOING OFF YOU SAID NOTHING WOULD GO WRONG YOU ALWAYS DO THIIIIS!"
"Somehow, I'm not surprised." Roy shook his head.
"Shut UP!" Ed yelled, grabbing Roy and yanking him back as a large, rogue spark flew in through the doorway. "It's YOUR fault, you dumbass! YOU HAD TO LIGHT IT!"
In that second, said rocket blew, covering Roy, Edward and Alphonse in black soot.
"...I swear. To that stupid Aryan god. Roy Mustang I am going to kill you."
"Well, at least I'll have fun cleaning you off."