Hakuhatsu
By: Whuh?!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Rating: K+
Genre: Humor.
Warning: NAKED KAKASHI LOL.
A/N: Dear lord, I haven't written a fanfiction in forever. Uhmm. Cheers to being rusty? Please R&R, I gotta get my old self back. :) This'll hopefully have a few chapters to it if I get some good feedback. whuh
Kakashi awoke that morning, stretching as his masked face yawned. He patted his lips, fingers pressing upon the black-dyed cotton. He opened his eyes, his right red and swollen (as it was every morning). He rubbed his pale hand against it, then stood. He moved his neck from side-to-side, yawning and stretching as he cracked his stiff bones. The grey-haired man of only 23 hoisted himself out of bed and drew the curtains shut on his window. He looked over to his bed stand, looking at the time. 7:10am.
"Ah." his low, lazy voice rang out in the silence. "Class starts in … five minutes. Wonderful! Time for one more dream!" He exclaimed, crawling back under his plush covers.
He awoke to Iruka's face, very close to his own. His blue and red eyes widened as they met solid brown. "Well well." He said, voice clear and low as usual. He smiled at Iruka, noting the fierce blush that ran across his scarred nose. "You always look so appetizing in the mornings, Iruka-sensei." Kakashi giggled through his black mask. Iruka burned even feicer. "Kakashi-sensei! You idiot! Have you any idea what time it is?!" The older, yet younger looking man waited for an answer.
Kakashi paused for a moment. Pondering. "Nakey time?"
One, two veins throbbed from Iruka's red forehead. He screeched in Kakashi's lazy, yet amused face. "NO. You lazy good for nothing lecherous slob! It's not …NAKEY time!" At this point, three veins surged from the poor man's head. "It's not even practice time. IT'S NOT EVEN RAMEN TIME, HATAKE FRIGGEN KAKASHI." Of course, Iruka would never use profanity, much less in the presence of Kakashi's three young prodigies, which sat in the next room, hearing little but Iruka's screaming. Sasuke's ears pricked the moment Iruka's voice rose. Sakura was much too busy to hear Iruka's voice, she was looking nosily through Kakashi's photo album. At the last shriek, Sasuke got goose-bumps.
Naruto's head popped up from its puddle of drool, his eyes squinting towards Kakashi's bedroom. "Ramen time!?" He screamed excitedly. If he'd had a tail, it'd be wagging. Sasuke just stared unbelievably at his partners, brow twitching. He was too awestruck at their own stupidity to say a word.
Iruka paused now, taking a step backwards and waiting. Surely Kakashi had a well thought out and sincere apology for missing class for the… third time this week. Arms folded, eyes squeezed closed, veins throbbing, foot tapping and fignernails digging into his freshly dry-cleaned chuunin shirt, Iruka was a sight to behold. His lip twitched at Kakashi's silence. He opened his eyes angrily to see Kakashi's eyes watering, his nose running, his eyes red and puffy and his lip quivering. Iruka's jaw dropped, as did his defenses. He rushed to Kakashi's bedside, down on his knee, he grabbed Kakashi's hand. "…Kakashi…Sensei? Are you alright?" He said, his voice cracked with concern.
"….I missed…" Kakashi paused to sniffle, his blue and red eyes looking into Iruka's, the sharingan unnerving Iruka a little, as it did to everybody outside of Uchiha blood. Iruka's eyes started to soften sadly as Kakashi felt arms wrap against him. He felt himself being pulled to the side of the bed, closer to Iruka. "Iruka-sensei… did I hear you correctly?" He asked, wrapping his arms slyly around Iruka's shoulders, squeezing tight. "….I missed Nakey time?"
Iruka snapped, now where there was once three, there was now six. His face burned red, angry red. His eyes bulged, his eyebrows twitched. "KAKASHI-SENSEI." Iruka stood, thrusting Kakashi backwards, the blanket falling from Kakashi's body as he was exposed (what man doesn't sleep in the nude? C'mon!). Iruka picked up the bedstand, Kakashi's alarm clock and picture frame of Yondaime fell to the floor with a 'chik'. HE held the big, wooden box over his head, his body slumped, arms straining, six veins bulging. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU." He screeched. He got ready to heave the stand as he saw Kakashi trembling, his naked body laying sideways on his bed, shaking helplessly.
"IRUKA-SENSEI!" Sasuke shouted as he sprang up, grabbing Naruto and running with him into Kakashi's room as they heard a womanly scream and a thud.
Iruka stood frozen with his arms above his head. His veins had disappeared, blood ran from his nose to the floor as his fingers twitched, eyes wide and his eyes twitched. The bed stand was behind Iruka's twitching body, as if he'd dropped it.
Kakashi lay, stark naked on his bed, arms blocking his manhood as his eyes bulged and twitched. He shook, his legs brought up to protect himself, his mouth ajar so far that you could tell through his mask. His pupils were small and his face was pale. It was obvious the womanly scream had come from him.
Naruto stood, dumbstruck as Sasuke looked, horrified, back and forth between his naked sensei and his currently speechless friend, Iruka-sensei. He continued to look back and forth between the two as Naruto shifted, holding his arms behind his head and standing at a slant, as usual.
Sakura burst in the room, almost knocking down the door. "I HEARD A SCREAM." She shouted before her eyes adjusted to the dark atmosphere of Kakashi's bedroom. She screamed, a blood curdling scream as her eyes hung open like an awestruck deer in headlights. She screamed again, but this time she held the scream until Sasuke grabbed her, thrusting his pale hand over her mouth.
Kakashi regained his composure, smiling good naturedly, standing despite his intense lack of clothing. He rubbed the back of his head as he looked at the four of them. "So, now that we've had Nakey time, who wants ramen?" He chuckled. His students marched out of his room, awestruck and disgusted (save Sakura, who wore a shameful blush on her face and couldn't seem to rid herself of the giggles). Iruka strayed behind, his mouth open and his composure regained, all pumped up to scream and scold the grey-haired sensei. As He took a step closer to his toned chest, Iruka caught himself staring, then growled.
"Kakaaahnn! STOP."
Kakashi removed his fingers from Iruka's Chuunin collar, giggling. "Ramen? Naruto's treat."
Iruka groaned. "That means it's my treat…" He said, fishing through Kakashi's drawers for something for the sensei to wear. He picked out an orange t-shirt that read, "poetica" and Kakashi's jounen pants.
The scarecrow giggled and took the clothes from Iruka's hands. "Thank you mother dearest!" He said teasingly, putting on the pants first.
"Do you not know what underwear are?!" Iruka screeched.
Kakashi blinked, giggling again. "Guess not, wanna show me yours?" Iruka grimaced, digging out a pair of Kakashi's boxers. He thrust them into Kakashi's hands as the jounen continued to smile at the dolphin, eliciting a well-earned blush from his friend.
When Kakashi was dressed he snagged his orange 'survival guide' as he called it, and then began leisurely walking out the door towards Ichiraku's. Iruka shoved him from behind. "Hurry up you lazy sensei!" He scolded, pushing Kakashi forward with all his might. "The kids are waiting!" Iruka scolded as Kakashi continued walking slowly and reading his Icha Icha Paradisu.
2BCONTINUED (PROBABLY...) whuh