Bya-sensei requests a KisaTen. I think I will humor her… but it will suck. Oh effing well.
I don't own… anything. Not even my stories. They own themselves. I write and they take over… MIND RAPE…
For example, this story just kind of showed up out of nowhere. The first line just sat itself down stubbornly. It was all like, "Hi! I'm the beginning of your story, so I'm not moving from here." I'm being extra retarded today, don't worry.
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Well, here I am, alone, bored, and did I mention alone? I hate being alone. There are a lot of people on missions, and a lot of people that I can't tolerate. Seeing as this covers pretty much all of Konoha, I am alone. Oh, yeah, we have covered that already. So here I am, sitting on a bench in a park. Why am I just sitting here, you ask? Good question. I was beginning to wonder myself. Well, I don't know what else to do. Hmm… I think I will go venture outside of the gates. Who will notice?
Well, I'm outside of the gates, wandering aimlessly through the woods. Doo Doo Doo!!! Well, don't I have a nice singing voice? Ahem. Well… Wait, what is that. It smells like… like… Well, tuna! Geez, I'm hungry. Wait, why does it smell like fish? Umm… this is rather strange. I see something… blue. Like a person or something. Why would a person be blue? Why would they smell like tuna? (A/N: Don't really answer that people.) Looks like a man. Yes, he is tall. Hmm… He is ugly, but at the same time, he is rather handsome. He is… looking straight at me. Shit. What kind of look is that? Quizzical… he looks quizzical. Maybe I should leave. No, I should talk to him. No, I'll just stand here contemplating while looking like an idiot. Yeah that works.
Damn, is he walking over here? Is that why he is getting closer? No, I must just be imagining this. Hm. I should will him away. On the other hand, I need something to do. I'm bored, and alone. Wait, I'm alone. That means no protection. And that, means danger, which means excitement, which means not bored, which means… Shit, what did he just say?
"Why are you here?"
Oh. Why am I here? That is a good question. I'm here because I have nobody to play with. Tell me that doesn't sound stupid. That doesn't sound stupid. You are a liar. Wait, I'm talking to myself. Maybe I should talk to him instead…
"I snuck out of my village, because I was unbearably… How should I put this? Bored."
Is he laughing at me? That jerk. What is so funny?
"Well then, if you think you are so cool, what are you doing here?"
"Well, I guess same as you. Nothing better to do. What village are you from?"
Is he that stupid? We are pretty much two feet away from Konoha. Wait a second. I don't see Konoha. Where did I wander to? I guess it's not good to meander without paying attention. He has an irritating smile, though it's kind of… dare I say it? Oh, I dare. Cute. I wish he would stop though. He looks like he is making fun of me. Is he making fun of me?
"I'm, uh, from Konoha. Where exactly am I now? I wasn't really paying attention when I left."
"Well, I'm afraid I can't tell you where we are. I can take you back though, I know how to get to Konoha from here. I will have to… I really can't put this nicely… knock you out."
Does he find that humorous? He just laughed… at that. Pfft. I want to punch him. He has that mocking smile that makes me want to… punch him, and kiss him. Wait, what? I did not just say that. No, but I thought it. Oh snap! No she didn't! Wow, I find myself delightfully humorous at times. And I think I'm schizophrenic. No you're not. I guess you're right. I'm not. I should probably stop standing here like an idiot. That would be nice.
"Why would you have to do that? Can you at least give me an idea about where we are?"
"I guess I could. I don't want you to try anything funny though. Be calm. We are at the Akatsuki hideout."
Oh that's ni… hold up. AKATSUKI? Oh, that's why he is wearing an Akatsuki robe! Of course!!!
"Oh, well, why aren't you killing me or something?"
"So that is all you think Akatsuki does? We just kill random people for fun? I really have no reason to kill you, unless you figure out how you got here. Then, I would have a reason."
"Oh, OK. Well, I should probably get going. Is there a way you could get me home without knocking me out?"
"Um, not that I know of. Any other ways will be extremely painful. Although, I could use one of those methods. I just thought that you would like this way much better is all. But you're going to have to wait. I have things to do. You figure out whether you want to be knocked out or mentally tortured while you wait."
"Smart ass."
He has a nice laugh. Oh, I should talk to him while he is doing whatever. I have nothing better to do. Damn, the sun seems to be setting. I might be here awhile. This is Akatsuki, I have to be on my toes though. I can't forget that. But this man does seem kind of nice, in a sneering, smart-ass kind of way.
"What's your name, shark-man?"
"Kisame"
"Oh, well I'm Tenten."
Well this is a fun conversation! Haha, not.
"Well, why are you blue?"
"I'm a shark-person-thing."
"You don't know?"
"Not exactly."
"You smell like… tuna."
"I had tuna for breakfast."
"Eww, for breakfast?"
Dammit! Stop laughing. Wait, saying that to myself doesn't really help, now does it?
"Stop laughing at me!"
Wow, that made him laugh more. What an ass. Why am I laughing now? And blushing? Gasp! What is wrong with me? Am I… crushing on that shark-person-thing? No… I like Neji. Why could I never admit that before? Because it was true before. Maybe, Neji has been replaced. But, not by a member of Akatsuki, nonetheless tuna-breath! No way! Hmphh.
"Why is your face so red?"
Oh, he saw that. How should I explain this?
"I was just… Uh… thinking about my boyfriend."
"And that makes you blush? Besides, why are you thinking about him now, of all times?"
Damn, he's no idiot. That's for damn sure.
"That flower. It's his favorite."
Ok, so point to the nearest flower, which just happens to be… a dandelion? That's not even a flower, that's a weed. Smooth, Tenten. Real smooth. Shut up!
"Is that so?"
Oh my goodness. He just moved closer. By a whole inch none-the-less! My heart is pounding! Wow, I wonder what would happen if he moved even closer! Haha, would my head totally explode? Would other things explode? That would be funny. Oh, yeah, back to the present.
"Uh-huh"
Whoa, great speaking skills! Didn't I tell you to shut up? Well, I am you. That being said, only you can make me shut up, because… I am you! Ohh… right. Why is he so close to me? Explosion!
"Can you step aside; I need that mushroom that is right by your feet."
Oh. That's why he was so close. Uh-oh, he's bending down in front of me. He has a nice… personality. Oh no, did I just almost compliment his physical attributes? Speaking of which… hmm… WHOA! Why did I just look there? Dirty Tenten… very dirty.
"What was that?"
"What was what?"
"Your head whipped up, you blushed, and then you shook your head rather violently."
"Did I really?"
"Yes."
"Hmm…"
"Well whatever. Come with me. I will take you home tomorrow, but for now, darkness is approaching."
Hmm… he is really sweet.
"Umm, where will I sleep?"
"You can have my bed. I can take the floor. By the way, it is imperative that nobody sees you or knows that you are there."
I wonder what would happen if they did see me. What would they do? I have to have my weapons with me, just to be safe.
"Well thanks. I hope they don't get worried about me at home."
"Your boyfriend definitely will. Someone like you going missing is worthy of pandemonium."
Was that a compliment? Is he flirting with me? Are his cheeks purple? They are! He is blushing! His blushes turn out purple, because he is blue. It's pretty. Did I just sigh? I am staring and sighing! Shit, look away. Hope that he didn't notice. Hope with all of your might!
"What was THAT?"
"What?"
"Sighing, staring, etcetera."
I guess the hoping didn't really work.
"Just thinking is all."
"What about?"
You
"Nothing."
He's moving closer again. Oh, my head is in danger. My various other parts are as well! Whammph. Wait, why did my inner voice get muffled? He is kissing my outside. Ahh! He's kissing me! My first kiss, and it's with Akatsuki scum. But, no, he isn't scum. I used to hate tuna. It's really not all that bad.
"Mmm."
Oh geez, that was me. I just... 'Mmm'ed. No, don't go away Kisame. I was enjoying that! Sigh! His hand feels good. It's cool and smooth. I guess he is now leading me to his quarters. I can use fancy words! Whoa, he glared at me. I know what that glare meant though. He was telling me to be careful not to get caught. I don't want to be found out. He looks so serious, so damn good looking! Is this his room? No. This? No. This? Yes? Oh, no. Ahh, here we are! He has a nice room. Ah, he locked the door. That makes me slightly nervous. I don't really know why…
"We are here. You're safe… for now. I'll get you something to sleep in.
I wonder if he really likes me or if that kiss was a spur of the moment thing. Whoa, look at those pajamas! They have HIM on them!! In chibi form!
"Don't even ask. My mom had them made for me."
Oops. I just laughed at him. That's rude. Oh, never mind, he's laughing himself.
"I have a bathroom right through that door."
He sounds so uncaring. Maybe it was a spur of the moment, insincere thing. I have to keep my weapons near. Just in case. No pockets on these pajamas. Graar. Let's see what he says when I walk out with an armful of weapons.
"Ok, the bed is all set up. I hope you don't mind that I'm sleeping in here. I can't raise suspicion. Though, I can see you're all set in case something happens."
Well, as long as he doesn't try to take advantage of me I'll be OK.
"Thanks. So tell me about yourself."
Wow, his bed is comfortable!
"Not much to say. I'm an outcast that joined Akatsuki. Not a very interesting person if you ask me."
"Hm. Well, I guess we should go to bed now."
"Excuse me, you haven't told me anything about yourself… "
"Well I do have a bit of a confession to make. I don't really have a boyfriend."
"I figured. I'm not that stupid, you know."
He really is a smart ass.
"Well, I'll see you in the morning.
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Blech. Morning. I hate mornings. Why do I feel so… warm? He moved to the bed? His arm is so comforting, so safe.
"NNphh..."
I guess he's waking up…
"Good morning."
"Hn."
He sounds like Neji. Haha. Well, he is only waking up. Whoa, he just kissed my cheek before standing up. How cute.
"I guess I can take you home today. The thing is, I don't necessarily have to knock you out. If you know how to get here, you can come visit me. I want to see you every once in awhile. If you tell anyone how to get here, I will kill you without a moment's hesitation."
He wants me to visit? That is nice. I should do that. Why can't I say anything? Whatever, just nod. I need to stop shivering. The way he is stroking my palm is making me shiver uncontrollably. Gah.
"Let's go quietly."
Walking home beside him was great. I don't want to leave him. I guess one last kiss until I go back in a few days will suffice.
"Mmm."
I did it again.
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Well, there you go! Is it done, or does it need more? That was for Bya-sensei. I hope it was up to your standards, whatever those might be.