set in my Before and After They Bulldozed Breadstix Sugar from the future universe. thanks lulu and tinlizard20 and everyone on tumblr who is supportive, enthusiastic and encouraging even if they don't realise it.
The Wedding Guest
It was late evening in the quiet Lima neighbourhood. The deserted streets were lit with the eerie glow from the street lights while a bitter winter chill helped keep the peace and most people indoors. A door opened and a dog stuck its nose out its owner unwilling to walk him in the cold. The dog sniffed the air warily then declined the opportunity for a poop. Something wasn't right. Something strange enough to not be able to poop in comfort.
On the corner between Lima Heights and Lima Heights Adjacent, the front page of the daily newspaper fluttered in the wind. It twirled and swooped with increasing violence and the localised air began to crackle with electricity. Across a great distance the roaring sound of a car engine could be heard.
Brittany lay on her back across her bed, her feet dangling over the one side and her hair hanging over the other almost touching the floor. She was freshly showered and ready for bed in her pyjamas, now all that remained was to say goodnight to her fiancée. She smiled to herself at the sound of Santana's voice over the phone.
"Britt, pleeease. I haven't spent a night away from you for eighteen months, I don't want to start now."
Brittany giggled at the pout she could hear in Santana's voice.
"It's tradition, Santana. You're not allowed to see the bride the night before the wedding."
"Screw tradition!"
A thud and some under the breath cursing sounded down the phone line.
"Honey? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just fell off the bed trying to reach for my boots."
"Boots? What-"
"I'm coming over to yours."
"You can't!"
"I can and I will. No one is going to keep me from you and definitely not some bullcrap old tradition dating back to the Stone Age. The whole universe could conspire and I'd still be marrying you tomorrow. I'll stay blindfolded if I have to!"
"That won't work because I'll have to be blindfolded too and…" Brittany tailed off as she considered the logistics of the idea. "We could try…"
"I'll be over there in four minutes and twelve seconds. Unless my mom catches me. She's like, serious about this tradition stuff, even more than you."
Brittany rolled over onto her side and couldn't fight the smile covering her face.
"I'll be waiting."
"I love you, soon to be Mrs Pierce-Lopez."
"I love you too, soon to be my wife."
Santana stopped at the threshold to her room staring at the now unconnected phone in her hand with a soppy grin taking over her face. Her mother laughed as she walked past.
"Let me guess who was on the phone," Maribel smiled at the sight of her lovestruck daughter. Santana looked up and took a deep breath, bracing herself.
"I'm going over to Brittany's and you can't stop me."
"All right," her mother replied casually. "Be back in time for breakfast. There's much to do tomorrow."
"What? Aren't you going to tell me how it's not traditional?"
"You sneaking over to Brittany's has been a long standing tradition. I will see you tomorrow," Maribel chuckled and then kissed her daughter on the cheek. "Oh, Santana?" Maribel said catching Santana before she cleared the bottom of the stairs.
"Yeah?"
"Don't stay up too late. You've got a big day ahead of you."
"Yeah, I know I have." Santana's eyes glazed over momentarily then she grinned and ran out of the front door, slamming it shut behind her.
"Uh, hi!" Santana smiled nervously at Brittany's mother who had opened the Pierce house front door, unsure of what level of motherly interference she'd be running into at the Pierce household.
"Oh look, as I live and breathe, if it isn't Santana Lopez on my doorstep. What a surprise," Whitney Pierce deadpanned, sounding not in the least bit surprised as she stood to the side to let Santana in. "Since when do you knock, anyway?"
"Uhhhhh…"
"It's too late to try and impress the in-laws now with good manners, Santana," Whitney smirked as the girl squirmed underneath her gaze.
Further to Whitney's absolute non-surprise her daughter came thundering down the stairs a second later offering a - "Hi mom. Bye mom!" as she swept Santana off her feet, lifting her into her arms and carried her fiancée, who squealed the whole time, bridal style, upstairs.
"Don't put your back out before tomorrow, Brittany!" her mom called up after them. "Save it for the wedding night!"
Brittany threw herself onto her bed with Santana still in her arms. After muffled squeals and arranging themselves comfortably they eventually settled sharing Brittany's pillow and gazing happily at each other.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"We're not supposed to see each other before the wedding or spend the night before together," said Brittany. "Which is the same thing."
"Says who?"
"Says everyone."
"Pffft. Everyone can suck it," Santana scoffed.
Brittany leaned over and giggled as Santana put up no resistance at all as their lips met in a sloppy kiss.
"Are you excited about tomorrow?" she asked as they pulled apart.
"Why? Is something happening tomorrow?" Santana managed to ask with a straight face.
"Sa-an!" Brittany whined and buried her face in her fiancée's neck. "Did you come here for a sneaky look at my dress?" she mumbled against Santana's skin.
"No. I came for a sneaky look at you." Brittany laughed. "And I missed you," Santana said softly, moving back so she could see Brittany's face.
Brittany stared at the girl in her arms feeling her insides turning to mush until she could bear it no longer and leaned in for another kiss.
"I love you so much. I missed you too," Brittany admitted, "even though I came home from yours less than an hour ago."
"Too long." Santana sighed, and snuggled down into Brittany's side, perfectly content. "Oh, I wanted to ask you about Sugar."
"Wow! You planning on knocking me up already? We aren't even married yet!"
"Oh my god, shut up!" Santana slapped her arm gently and tried to hide her flushing face, much to Brittany's delight.
"What about her?" Brittany asked, taking pity on her.
"Did you invite her tomorrow?"
"No… uh oh. Do you think we should? I mean, she knows when we get married and she knows she'll always be welcome."
"But do you think she wants an invite?"
"Awww look at you, all worried and cute."
"Briiittt."
"We can send her an invite right now if you want."
"Yeah? You can do that? Send it to the future?"
"Of course I can. I'm a super genius, remember?"
"But…"
"Come on, let's write it." Brittany rolled off the bed and hopped over to her desk to grab a notepad and pen. She jumped back onto the bed and landed on her front, ready to write.
'Dear Sugar Lopierce.'
"We're not calling ourselves that."
'Pierce-Lopez,'
'You are cordially invited to the wedding of Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez on February 9th 2015. We hope to see you there.'
"That's too formal." Santana rolled over and lay shoulder to shoulder with Brittany as she began to dictate. "Try this."
'Dear spawn,'
"No wait! Put 'alleged' spawn."
"Santana, there is no way that girl isn't yours. It's a cosmic impossibility and those don't even exist."
"I'm gonna remain dubious about the whole thing until you or I physically squeeze her out."
"You're such a romantic. The very reason I'm marrying you in fact."
"Keep writing," Santana prompted. Brittany ignored her and leaned over to purr in a low voice in her ear.
"You know I'm going to be the one knocking you up. Not the other way around." Santana gulped, catching a glimpse of Brittany's darkened eyes. "Just so you know."
"Not before you make an honest woman out of me first you're not," Santana smirked and pecked a kiss onto her fiancée's nose.
'If you're not at our wedding I will want a seven page essay, handwritten, explaining why not. Dress code is non leopard print, and suitable for dancing. Be prepared to dance with your parents. Don't you dare bring a date. Trust me, it wouldn't be worth the hassle.
'Lots of love, young hot not-moms.'
"Awww," Brittany nudged Santana with her shoulder. "You love her."
"Pfff. Girl better not bring a date. I don't want blood spilt at our wedding." Santana folded the invite and handed it to Brittany. "Now what?"
"Now," Brittany tucked it into her journal on her desk. "I'll give it to her in twenty five-ish years' time."
"That's it? I thought you were going to zap it into the space time continuum."
"Postage is cheaper if I deliver it myself." Brittany climbed back into bed. "Now, we should get some sleep. It's late, and tomorrow will be the biggest day of our lives, so far."
Brittany pulled Santana snug against her and they settled down wrapped up in each other's arms. Last minute nerves and jitters were easy to quell when they were together. Brittany reached over and turned off the bedside lamp then placed a kiss on her fiancées head.
"This time tomorrow we'll be married," Santana sighed happily.
"This time tomorrow I'll be trying my best to knock you up."
"Britt!" Santana chuckled into her neck. "I love you."
"I love you too Mrs Lopierce."
"Still not calling ourselves that, babe."
The couple had just begun to drift off to sleep when they were rudely startled by the sound of a car engine and screeching wheels far too close for comfort. From the front of the house there came a screech of brakes and tyres and finally a crushing thud, then the crunch of rolling trash cans.
"What the hell?" the girls heard Brittany's mom yell. "I have an elephant gun and I am not afraid to use it!"
Together, they stumbled down the stairs and ran to the door where Whitney was staring at the yard in disbelief with, sure enough, an elephant gun held ready in her arms.
Out on the front lawn at the end of a pair of tyre marks stretching diagonally across the turf was a silver car embedded in the small pond the Pierce's kept in the front lawn.
Through a billowing cloud of exhaust smoke, burnt rubber, burnt brakes and liquid nitrogen, the passenger door of the futuristic looking car lifted open upwards.
Brittany lunged at her mom as she aimed her gun at the figure in a silver jumpsuit, scuba mask and breathing apparatus who tumbled sideways out of the car and onto the grass.
"No! Don't shoot her!"
"The hell? This better be something to do with you, Britt. Your father's fish might have had heart failure and I'm not buying more of them! I had a hard enough time convincing him the last lot had changed colour due to freak weather conditions."
The mystery figure pulled off the mask and initiated a coughing fit before crawling out of the noxious cloud of smoke.
"Miss me, hot mamas?" she spluttered and staggered forward on her knees.
Santana and Brittany both rushed to her side to help her, Santana catching a glimpse of the driver still in the car who gave her a sly wink then wiggled the fingers on her left hand highlighting the wedding band she wore.
"No, no, don't bother helping me get up," Sugar whined as Santana was momentarily distracted from pulling her to her feet.
"Pssst," the driver called to Santana who only let go of Sugar when she was safely wrapped up in Brittany's arms. Brittany hugged her tight and led her away from the car over to her mother where they began to help Sugar out of the breathing apparatus. Whitney looked a perfect mixture of confused and furious. Confurious.
"Hey, beautiful," the driver grinned at her. Santana couldn't help but blush as she leaned on the car door and smiled coyly, looking into the car from under her eyelashes.
"I'll be back for her tomorrow midnight," said future Brittany. "Watch her around Maribel, don't let them stand together in photos."
"Why?"
"They're almost identical. Hi mom!" Future Brittany called from the car and waved to the woman who had caught sight of her and was standing in a state of gobsmackedness.
"That's my cue to leave before Santana finds out this happened." Future Brittany did a double take and looked at younger Santana again and chuckled.
"Oops. If you could forget she just saw me that'd be great. Have fun tomorrow." Future Brittany smirked and tapped some numbers into a keypad on the dash.
Whitney stared open mouthed as her daughter reversed out of the pond, cutting up the lawn for the second time, and knocked over the garden gnome calling out through the slowly closing door as she manoeuvred.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Sugar!"
"Of course I won't, duh! Who do you think I am?"
Present and Future Brittany exchanged a mutual look of knowing exactly who they thought she was and what she was capable of.
"What the…" Whitney spluttered and then rounded on Sugar who was waving happily to her mom as she drove away.
"That's a very good question and I hope you've got a good explanation for this, young lady. Who are you exactly, and what are doing in my pond?"
"Since when have you ever had a pond?" Sugar waved her arm at the remaining muddy hole in the ground. "How long has that been there?"
"It's been there for ten years!" Whitney bellowed.
Santana nudged Brittany to do something but she was busy watching their interaction with unconcealed amusement.
"Why did no one tell me this?" Sugar huffed back, indignantly. "You should get rid of it, someone could fall in it!"
"Whu-" Whitney gasped. "You're the only person who's ever ended up in it, apart from my husband and he was lifesaving the cat! What's your excuse?"
"I just told you, I didn't know it was there!"
"Britt," Santana hissed, scared now for all their lives as the two volatile tempers began to boil.
"At least it cooled off the engine a bit," Sugar acquiesced suddenly. "It's been overheating. We're lucky we didn't blow up on the way."
The pond had indeed cooled off the car so well in fact that all that remained was a shallow puddle and some gasping fish. Lord Tubbington rubbed his ample side and tail against Sugar's leg in greeting as he walked past and eyed up the pond with relish.
Brittany cleared her throat gaining everyone's attention.
"Mom, this is Sugar. Sugar, this is my mom, Whitney, who doesn't know who you are…" Brittany eyeballed the girl hard.
Sugar grinned and attempted a knowing wink which made her look even more suspicious.
"Sugar's here for the wedding-"
"Chief bridesmaid," Sugar interjected.
"There aren't any bridesmaids," Santana muttered aside to her.
"-of honour," Sugar trailed off.
"-and she's staying the night. Okay?" Brittany didn't wait for a reply. "Okay… so, goodnight!"
Santana got a hold of Sugar's arm and was edging her towards the door.
"What about flower girl?" Sugar asked, hopefully.
"Hold it right there."
Santana and Brittany froze at the deadly tone in Whitney's voice. Sugar chuckled, the only one thoroughly nonplussed about the evening's incidents so far.
"The three of you are not going anywhere until you stop that cat from mauling your father's prize winning fish-"
At this moment Lord Tubbington mewled pitifully at Brittany from where he was stuck up to his rotund belly in the muddy silt unable to reach the flailing fish.
"-And the pond is refilled. That water feature is your father's pride and joy and those Koi carp have won awards in 3 states."
"Mom, it's dark!"
"Save those fish or we're going to have to have a serious conversation about what I just saw with my own eyes."
"You could put them in the bathtub," Sugar offered helpfully.
"This is not how I expected the night before my wedding to go down," Santana grumbled as she wrestled a giant koi carp whilst standing barefoot in the mud with her pyjama pants rolled up. She dropped the fish into the bucket Sugar was holding with a grimace.
"Ugh gross." Sugar pulled a face. "And the fish. Don't let it touch me!" she squealed as it flapped its tail. "They smell."
"That's the last one." Santana heaved a sigh of relief. "Where the fishing hell has Brittany gone? She's the one who drove into the pond in the first place."
Brittany chose that moment to appear from around the side of the house dragging a hosepipe which she dropped into the empty mud pit.
"All done," she grinned at the bedraggled and mud spattered girls glaring at her. "Should be full by the morning."
Sugar shoved the bucket of fish into Brittany's arms and ran for the house.
"Dibs first in the shower!" Sugar ran into the house and they heard her stomping up the stairs.
The water sloshed from the bucket and down Brittany's shirt, the koi carp gave her what she swore was a stinking look.
"At least we know the invitation worked," Brittany grinned at Santana.
Santana chuckled then let out a sigh of exhaustion. She leaned into Brittany's side as they trudged after Sugar, beginning to hurry at the sound of a piercing scream from inside the house.
At the top of the stairs they found Sugar clutching her chest and screeching at the sight of Whitney who was framing the doorway to the bathroom with her hair slicked back and a putrid green face-pack on and was letting out a loud wail herself.
"What's wrong? Why are you both yelling?" Brittany forced her way in between them. "Sugar, calm down, it's just a mud-pack."
"I got a shock, that's all," Sugar squeaked out.
"Mom, why are you yelling?"
"I forgot there were fish in the bathtub. And Tubbs is in there watching them. I only noticed when I was mid-flow and I got a shock." Whitney explained. "And then I opened the door and Sugar screamed and I screamed, it's just healthy instinct." She gingerly rubbed her ears. "Kid, you've got a good pair of lungs on you."
"Can we please go to sleep now?" Santana pleaded. "It's past midnight and I do not want to have bags under my eyes at my own wedding."
"I'm not showering with fish," Sugar muttered.
"You can freshen up in the washbasin and we'll move the fish tomorrow then everyone can shower in peace."
Sugar scrunched her face up and shuffled exhaustedly across the landing to Brittany's room and face-planted onto the bed, muddy clothes and all. Santana followed after her and did the same throwing an arm across Sugar's back.
Brittany and Whitney watched them fall asleep immediately from exhaustion. Whitney turned her gaze to her daughter still hoping for an explanation but Brittany shrugged sheepishly.
"Goodnight, BrittBritt."
"Goodnight, Mom." Brittany sighed contentedly as her mom wrapped her in a tight hug and kissed her on the side of her head. As she turned to leave them Brittany called out.
"Mom. I can't explain right now but… it'll all become clear one day."
After the wedding ceremony...
"Do you think we should tell them?" Brittany asked as she and her wife of less than five hours moved gracefully around the dancefloor. They glanced over to where both their mothers had been sitting for the past thirty minutes with their arms draped around each other crying about their baby girls growing up.
"Tell them what?"
"About Sugar. We could let them know I knocked you up good 'n proper," Brittany grinned as Santana hid her face in her shoulder in embarrassment.
"Oh god, Britt."
"What? It's true."
Santana kissed her gently and placed her hand over Brittany's belly. "We don't actually know who knocked who up yet, so…. Plus that's a conversation I don't think any of them will ever be prepared for. People from the future? Especially when they're all drunk."
"Drunk might be the only time that's good to tell them," Brittany pointed out.
"No more drama tonight, please babe."
"Aww," Brittany pouted. "I guess. I just want to see their faces."
"I don't know how much more excitement they could take," Santana pondered as they watched Sugar walk over to her grandmothers and hand them both fresh champagne flutes.
"True," Brittany suddenly twirled her wife around on the dancefloor causing them both to break out into giggles.
"What would we even say?" Santana sighed, her head resting on Brittany's shoulder as they slow danced together.
"We'd say - Hey Momses, guess what? One day we're going to have the sweetest baby girl and you'll be the best grandmothers ever and spoil her so much and she'll be the cutest thing you've ever seen."
Santana linked her arms around Brittany's neck and smiled softly up at her.
"You missed out the part where we say- 'And, by the way, here's a future preview of what she'll look like when she's seventeen.' And then your dad loses his mind and then the moms's follow like dominoes."
"Ah, so I did," Brittany grinned.
"Do you think we should cut our parents off? Your dad is on to his third Abba song already," Santana said, as Pierce and his drunk glee club backup band finished a unique rendition of 'Honey, Honey'. "And our moms have adopted Sugar."
They turned back to their moms who were squishing Sugar's face and pinching her cheeks.
"Look at your mom and then Sugar," Brittany pointed out as they laughed together at the similarity. "They're both short."
"Hey, Lopez women are not short, you're just extra tall."
"Let's go talk to them," Brittany suggested and the made their way off the dance floor.
"Hi."
"Wiveses!" Whitney jumped up and hugged them both kissing them both all over their faces. Santana managed to escape the enthusiastic crushing embrace and sat down next to Sugar and her mom while Brittany rubbed her mom's back soothingly as she cried, "My baby, my baby," over and over again.
"We came over to see you weren't corrupting Sugar's mind," Santana chuckled.
"Of course not, mija," Maribel slung an arm around Sugar's shoulder. "We're going shopping tomorrow, the three of us."
Santana looked at Sugar who suddenly found something very interesting to look at on the far side of the barn. Brittany manoeuvred her wailing mother a step to the side so she appeared in Sugar's eyeline. Sugar stared blankly at Brittany who was watching her carefully from over her mom's shoulder.
"Sugar," Brittany began.
"Uh, so long as my mom is okay with it and she will be because she's cooler than you two,"
"That doesn't even make sense."
"And anyway, I'll be with two responsible adults," she waved a hand at the weeping Whitney and flushed looking Maribel who was polishing off another glass of champagne. "I don't even see what the problem is."
"Yeah, spoilsports," Maribel psshed them.
Santana stared at her open mouthed then tried to wrestle the champagne from her grasp. "Give me that."
"My mom will totally be fine with it. Swear on my brother's life." A car horn blared from outside the barn.
"Whoa is that the time? I've gotta bail." Sugar jumped up and kissed her astounded parents on the cheek each.
"Enjoy your honeymoon! Don't worry about me."
"Don't forget midday tomorrow, Sugar." Whitney snapped out of her tears suddenly.
"I wouldn't miss it for anything," Sugar beamed at Whitney then (if possible) her smile got bigger as Maribel hugged her tightly. "It's going to be so much fun."
Santana and Brittany stared at them all in shock as Sugar darted away, the silver car waiting there to pick her up visible through the barn door.
"Do you think we should we postpone the honeymoon?"