Story: Bratty Nations.

Author: NoveltyRose

Exclaimer: All characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.

Author notes: I am still working on my other fic, Land of ice and fire and land of Legos and smørrebrød? But I had this silly idea and it wouldn't let me go till I had written it down. Based on some true events. The Icelandic media and politicians are my prime inspiration for this story.

Update: I fixed the line breaks.

Chapter one: A bratty phone call.

"Iceland, are you home?" I call after have let myself in. I can never understand why my little brother always keeps the door unlocked. Sure, it's very safe in his country; with virtually no danger of a madman with a gun storming in but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen. It even happened in my safe country. I carefully steer my thoughts away from remembering that horror and listen after some sound.

I can finally hear my brother's voice in the distance. He sounds agitated for some reason. I peer through the door frame and see that he is on the phone. My little brother has his back turned away from me, so he has not been made aware of my presence yet.

"No, Mr. Russia. That is not what I meant!"

Russia? Why, is he talking to Russia!? Is it because of that dreadful loan? I told him it was a bad idea at the time. I take great care in not letting him hear me sneaking behind him and listening in on the rest of the conversation.

"Why haven't I been banned like the other countries!" Ice yells into the phone.

What? Why is he asking that..? Then I realize that he isn't worried about something. He is furious...over something as stupid as this.

"Ice, don't..." I say in a low warning voice behind him, but he can't hear me, seemly lost in his own world.

"No, I am far from happy. I want to be included in everything, even the negative ones!" He continues with his rant against one of the superpowers in the world. My mouth drops open. Did I really raise him like this? I have to stop this before it get's way out of hand.

"Iceland..." I growl but my bratty little brother still can't hear me.

"But, since I am not banned..." Iceland sounds suddenly very proud of himself. "How about I sell you some fish instead of Norway?"

What!? That little...!

My hand clamps down on the phone, therefore ending this his phone call. Ice looks up startled. He turns slowly to face me.

"Norway!" My little brother jumps up when finally sees me. "Umm..what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to pay you a visit to see how you were doing...instead I hear you stabbing me in the back."

"Stabbing...you are one to talk! You went behind my back in the mackerel deal." Ice takes a stance against me with his arm crossed.

Ugh, not this again.

,,I have told you many times before I was not the one who went behind your back. It was the European Union!"

"Liar. You want to steal my mackreel away."

Sigh..I will never get to the bottom of this.

"Fine, the deal was for grownups only." Though technically The Faroes Island is not an adult, but I hope he won't catch up on that...

Ice does not and instead he shouts. "I am grown up!"

"Not to me, you are not."

Ice starts to pout which only affirmatives what I was saying. He says in a low voice: "Faroes is still a child."

I think you are bigger child.

"Regarding your behavior from earlier. What were you thinking, talking to Russia like that?" I shake admonishing finger inches away from his face. He backs away.

"It's none of your business." He glares at me and has the nerve to turn away from me when I am still talking to him.

No respect whatsoever!

I take deep breaths to try to rein in my boiling anger and clench my trembling fist. It does not work.

"That's it." I latch onto his ear firmly so he yelps in surprise and drag him to the nearest corner.

"Let me go!" He fights me every step of the way, but I pay him no need and starts lecturing him: "I have had it with your attitude and behavior. First it was icesave, then you stole from me, and now you intend to do it again, the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull in 2010…"

"It was not my fault!" Ice yells outraged still fighting to get loose. "I have told you many times that I don't control the bloody volcanoes! It's not my fault that air travel in Europe was disrupted."

I will believe that when I see it. I notice that he did not object to my other scoldings so carry on, in the hope some of it will sink in.

…not to mention your rude conversation with Mr. Russia. How many times have I told you to be civil to other countries?" I plant him in the corner and push him against the wall. "Especially the ones who could nuke you."

"You were the one who hung up on him!" Ice yells in frustration and sends me a death glare over his shoulder. "You have no right to treat me like that. Let me go!" He kicks the wall and white plaster falls to the ground.

By a pure instinct I swat him. Hard.

"Ái!" His eyes go wide in shock and anger. "What the hell man!?"

I look stunned at my hand who seemed to have moved on its own. I grin coldly. Maybe, this was the right way after all?

And just as my little brother could suddenly read my mind, he rubs his butt and hisses at me as if he is a cornered cat in an alley: "Don't you dare...!"

I walk away from him and take a seat in the sofa. I pat my knee. "Come here."

"No way, Norway! It's your insane idea do it yourself.." And my little brother quickly adds when the full meaning of his words dawns upon him when I stand up to get him. "To someone else, of course!"

"No one else is in as dire need of attitude adjustment as you are." I answer a matter of factly and sit down again.

"Not even Denmark?" Iceland challenges.

I think that over for a minute. I shake my head. "Not even him." I look at my stubborn little brother. "Now, if have to come and get you it will only get worse."

"Worse! What can be worse than that?" He points at me with a rude gesture.

"If you don't come after I counted to five, I will use my belt." I would not, but it's time he learned that actions have consequences.

The little of the color that was left in Iceland's face drains away from it. His lower lip trembles as if he is going to cry.

Did I go to far? I haven't even done anything yet.

Then he shouts: "Whatever you and Den did in the bedroom, I want no part of it!"

The nerve of that kid!

"One." I start the counting.

Ice stiffens and looks frantically for an escape route.

"Two."

"Please.."

"Three."

"Can't we talk this over like civilized men?"

"Four."

"I am grown up for Christ's sake!"

"Five." I stand up and walk over to him.

"Storebror.."

I stop in my tracks when calls me big brother. He sounded like a little mouse when he says that. It's so cute. But that doesn't avert my attention from the appending task ahead. I grab his wrist and pull him to the couch. I put him between my knees.

"Are you going to use your belt?"

He suddenly sounded so small when he asked that.

I shake my head and pull him over my lap. "Not since you called me storebror." I can hear him exhale in a temporally relief until I raise my hand high in the air. He stiffens as he had just remembered the position he was in and tries to swim frantically off my lap. I hold him firmly down. He won't get away so easily.

"ICE, I AM BACK FROM MY AWESOME WALKI!" Thunders Mr. Puffin in a voice that would make Prussia proud and slams the door behind him. He walks into the living room with his tiny little steps.

"WHAT THEEE!?" Mr. Puffin goes white when he sees the position his master is in. "Umm…I will come back later." He hurries out and slams the door behind him.

"Traitor!" Ice yells after his pet although Mr. Puffin would undoubtedly not have been able to do anything to help him. My little brother cranes his neck and looks at me with an annoyed expression. "Nor, please stop this nonsense."

Considering I still haven't done anything yet. It was not too late to turn back and act like this was all some kind of a cruel joke. But truth be told, I felt my little brother had this long in coming. Yes, it was time to remind him that even though he was independent, he still had me to answer to if he did something foolish. I was tired of the other countries pointing at me each time, Ice did something wrong. Not to mention he deserved this for doing something as stupid as trying to go behind my back. Thinking he could sell Russia some fish when I was not allowed to, well he had another thing coming!

I am interrupted again when the door slams open the second time. He really needs to lock that door...

"ICELAND, ARE YOU HOME? I met Mr. Puffin and he looked like had seen a ghost. Did something happen…?" Denmark skids to a halt and his eyes go wide when he sees the sight before him. "What..the?"

My little brother grabs the opportunity to slide quickly of me and runs to safety behind Denmark's back. He clutches his coat and peers over his shoulder. "Help me. Norway has lost his mind."

Him hiding behind Denmark's back? Well, that is something I never expected to see...

"Iceland, come back here this instant." I say in a low menacing voice. I am in no mood for hide and seek.

"What is going on?" Den looks between me and Ice hiding behind his back." Seriously, man. What did you do to piss him off like that?"

"Me, nothing! I swear!" My little brother lies unashamed through his teeth and throws his hands dramatically up in the air. He grabs Denmark's coat again, as it is a safety rope.

Den frowns at him and looks at me for answers. Clearly not buying it, which is a relief. Maybe, just maybe I could get him to see my side of things.

"He was being obnoxious to Mr. Russia, threatening him…"

"I did not threaten him. I am not an idiot!" Ice interrupts.

"Quiet you, you are in enough trouble as it is." I glare at my little brother and he crouches behind Denmark's back out of my sight.

"Russia…!" Denmark shivers as it just turned cold in there and looks behind him as if he is expecting Russia to storm in at any minute. "Why are you always talking to Russia? Are you good pals?"

Ice doesn't answer that ludicrous question and I finish my explanation:"…and then my little brother was planning on exploiting the opportunity when the other countries were banned and sell them some fish. He planned on going behind my back not mention all the other things he has done in the past. I think we can both agree, he needs to be set straight once and for all."

Denmark seems to be thinking this over. "Umm..well, these are some serious accusations. I can understand where you are coming from. Ice can be a bit difficult sometimes…."

"But?"

"Is this really the right way…I mean isn't he a grown up?"

"Till he acts like one, I will treat him as a child."

"You are bluffing, you will always treat him as kid."

"True." Then it occurs to me that my little brother has been awfully quiet this whole time. He didn't even object to me calling him a child.

"Den, would you please move a bit."

Denmark looks at me puzzled, but do as I told him. As soon he moves, I can see that my suspicions were correct.

"That little! He escaped. Not a child, huh? A grownup would own up to his actions, wouldn't he?"

Denmark looks startled, but regains his composure awfully quickly as he had known this would happen. "I will go after him." Before I can say anything he storms out the door.

How did I end up in a situation as this? Why do I always have this rotten luck? Iceland had used the opportunity to escape as far away as possible. He had thought about leaving the country and hiding in Norway, considering his big brother would probably never dream of looking for him there. But since all national personification have to be reported when entering their or a foreign country that plan went out the window right away. So instead, he had ended up hiding in a dark and cold cave and for the first time he was thankful for the fact that his country was known to be able to make people disappear without a trace. Ice planned on scaring the living daylights out of his big brother, making him think all the worst and come to him, begging for forgiveness. There is just one thing wrong with that plan. It was that this was a child's logic; he was like a child running away from home to scare his parents into doing his bidding.

Argh…I am not a child. Maybe I should return and just own up and let this stupid punishment be over with. But Ice had to admit that this way was pain free. I better wait for my brother to cool down. He must see reason some time. Hopefully…

His heart stops in his chest for a moment when he hears echoes of footsteps. No way! He can't have found me yet. It can't be… He holds his breath. A dark shadow steps into the dim daylight.

"Ice, I know you are in there." Denmark's voice says matter of factly.

Ice's heartbeat starts up slowly again as the heart was of afraid to be too loud in case of discovery. Ice didn't know whether Den was a friend or a foe at the moment since he hadn't stayed at the end till the end of the stupid debate of whether or not he deserved what Nor intended to do to him. Besides, he didn't even know if Norway was with him. And how the hell did he find him so quickly!? He had never taken Denmark for the kind of guy who knew him that well.

"Ice, answer me." Den walks further into the cave. "I am alone, you can trust me. I am just here to talk to you." He scans the area as if he could suddenly see in the dark.

I don't trust you. How do I know that you won't bring me to Norway right away? I mean what do you gain from helping me?

Iceland has bad memories hiding in caves. He had to use that hiding method often, over the decades, especially when the pirates came to abduct him when he was little. This situation was way too similar to that one. Except of course Norway would never do anything to seriously hurt him. So why was he so afraid? His old memories suddenly overwhelm him. The manically laughter of the pirates, their bad breaths when they found him and carried him out of the cave. The creaking of the their ship. Ice breaks out in cold sweat and starts to breathe rapidly. No be quiet, he will hear you…they will hear you…they will find you. But his body doesn't listen to him. A sudden light blinds him, engulfs him and bathes him in a cold light and darkness. In a matter of seconds Denmark stands above him. He kneels before him and takes hold of his shivering shoulders. He shakes him lightly.

"Iceland, are you okay? Talk to me."

When Ice doesn't answer, he embraces him and rubs his back in soothing gestures, as he were a toddler.

"Sssh, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay." Den lifts him carefully up and carries him over his shoulder, out of the cave.

"Do you feel better now?"

They sit in a rental car, a steaming plastic mug with hot cocoa is before Ice who takes the cup with his trembling hands and takes a sip. He doesn't answer Denmark's question.

"What happened in there?"

Ice still doesn't answer. Den takes up his cell and puts it on speaker.

"Nor, I found him, but he is seriously shaken up. I have never seen him like that. It's like he is experiencing some kind of trauma. What should I do?"

"Bring him home, I will deal with him."

"You are not still going too…?"

"It's between me and my little brother."

Den exhales tiredly and disconnects the call.

"Ice, are you okay with going home?"

"Home?" A spark of life comes back to his dead eyes. "I can go home…now?"

Den is taken aback by his small voice. He nods. "Yes, you can go home now. I will take you home."

Ice smiles into his mug. "Thank you…" He looks up at Den. "Papa."

I sit leisurely in the sofa with a book when I hear the door opens. I stand up and the sight that greets me horrifies me. I thought my brother was just playing a drama queen as he usually does, but this time it looked serious. He was deadly pale and shivering in Denmark's embrace, who steadied him on their way in.

"Iceland." I go to them and open up my embrace. I can't help feeling a little guilty over how I treated him earlier.

My little brother looks up hesitantly. He suddenly jumps into my arms. "Mama, I was so afraid. They were going to take me but papa saved me!"

"They…who are they?" I look in question at Den who looks as lost as I. Papa? Mama?

"The pirates of course…they were going to sell me into slavery." Ice answers, as if it is the only answer to that question.

It suddenly hits me what he is talking about. The Turkish abduction, my little brother was reliving that horrible time of all the times he could have picked. I hug his trembling form tighter. "It's okay. You are safe now." I ruffle his sweaty hair. "No one will ever take you away again, I promise." I kiss him on top of his head.

"Mama, papa, please, never leave me. I don't want to be left alone." Ice says in a small sad voice and clutches my shirt in a death grip.

There is something really strange about his behavior and suddenly it occurs to me what it could be.

"Ice, how old are you now?"

Ice looks up at me with big eyes and answers innocently. "Eight of course."

Me and Den draw in quick breaths. This was not good. How the hell will we be able to turn him back?

Author notes: Iceland did in fact, in the media, complain about the fact that Russia left him out on the list of banned nations but just as quickly thought up a plan how to exploit it. And yes big brother Norway was taken as an example...naughty, naughty Ice. And of course I couldn't shake of the idea what Hetalia Nor would do if he heard Hetalia Ice talk about backstabbing him (this is how it played out in my head). But don't think too badly of Ice, it's not his fault he only sees profits in war and such, in fact Iceland became one of the richest country in Europe in World War two. He doesn't know any better...not even after the banking collapse in 2008...

But since Ice has the attention span of a fly (or rather the Icelandic media and politicians) nothing has been heard more about this very complicated matter (for instance why was Norway banned but none of the other Nordics?) and instead the media has been taken over a yet another political scandal or better yet, the recent volcanic eruption.

More historical facts.

A gunman storming into his home. The terrifying terrorist attack in Norway in 2011. 77 people died. It was the deadliest attack in Norway since World War II, but until 2011 Norway was believed to be one of the safest countries.

Stole from him. Glitnir's embezzlement (one of Icelandic banks) from the Norwegian company Export Finas in 2009.

Mackreel wars, Iceland left out of EU Mackerel deal. Ice and Nor have been fighting over mackreel along with the the Faroe Islands. However it was not Norway that decided to leave Ice out of the mackreel deal, it was the EU but the Icelandic media and Iceland's Foreign Minister made it look like it was Norway doing it personally and Ice was furious when he found out. In fact Nor tried to reach out to Ice after the deal went down but Ice gave him the cold shoulder. Thankfully it seems the only international "wars" Ice will ever get into are over fish or finance.

Eyjafjallajökull in 2010 - many in Europe were outraged over the fact that they couldn't fly because of the ash coming from Eyjafallajökull and blamed Iceland. Some even said the hated him ( an angry scotsman in an interview actually said that but he was stuck on an airport somewhere) and well Ice takes such accusations very seriously and later came up with the plan of restoring his image (once again) by making the biggest campaign so far to promote the country, Inspired by Iceland, but that it is another story.

The Turkish Abductions were a series of slave raids that took place in Iceland between June 20 – July 19, 1627.

Next up more deaged countries and brotherly fluffy fluff!