Lies, my life

Kal Kally

Disclaimer: Draco Malfoy does not belong to me, though I wish he did.

Summary: This fic is focused on Draco's view of his life. So from the first line to the last, it's Draco's POV.

"You think you are noble? You think everyone loves you by heart? You're just daydreaming. No one really cares about you if not for your money. Even Snape doesn't. And don't think I know nothing about the dirty business your family is involving in. Everything around you is made of lies. Weak, mediocre lies."

That's what the poor, pathetic Ron Weasley dared to speak to me. I should have punched him until all of his ribs are broken. I should have asked Snape to take a hundred points from him and give him the most terrible detention that he could never forger. But, even I was surprised with myself, I did nothing, letting that bastard be satisfied at my sudden loss of words.

What else can I do? He is right, right in every type of meaning. My life is made of lies. I lie to everyone. Everyone. What's the different?

Lies are the shield I use to protect myself. I know someone has managed to get a peck of my true soul but still, no one has ever succeeded in breaking through the heavy walls around my heart.

No, there was once this girl...

I vaguely remember there was a time when I despised the lies. But I once had a friend, too. A friend with all of its meaning. She was slightly smaller than me. None of us was high enough to reach an adult waist at that time. She was cheerful and lively. She made me smile.

But no one is perfect, she came from just a poor family. Wonderful or not, she was still only a low class girl of the wizard world.

And I was stupid enough to tell my parents the truth. Such a fatal mistake results in her death.

From that time, lies are all what I say.

I lie to get what I want. I lie to the Professors to get a higher rating in class. I lie to my so-called friends, to make them believe how loyal I am to the Slytherins. Once I can get under their skins, it will be easier to control them. I lie to the rest, strangers as well as enemies. To win a battle, you must catch your foes by surprise. And in this lying world, everyone could become your foe at any moment.

Following my father, I learn how to built my road to victory on lies.

Lies live in my soul. Lies become my mask. Look at me, what do you see? Arrogant? Dangerous? Or just innocent with soft blond hair and beautiful gray eyes? Don't be fooled by my appearance. You never know what you'll get.

"He didn't do it on purpose, he is just a child." Professor McGonagal said when I 'accidentally' cast a curse spell on another student and then skillfully gave her an I'm-so-so-sorry-but-I-didn't-mean-it performance. Yes, may be I'm just a child, but look, I lie.

You shout at me. You do anything to get my attention. You show your hatred. Why keeps doing that? All of you lie, too. Has anyone of you never lies to me? All what you say is lie.

Everything is lie. Everywhere is lies. All lies.

I don't believe in anyone, even my parents. I only pretend. If lies are an art, then I must be the most skillful artist. Still...

All of my life is lies, you see? But how ironic. This pain is true. This loneliness is true. This love is true. This hatred is true.

The lack of expressions is what I show the world but inside, emotions mix and create a turbulent fire that I can't control.

Can't stand it any more.

Better do some thing, do some thing before I could get burn.

Don't cry, don't cry Draco. What are you doing? Crying? Boys don't cry, especially when that boy is a Malfoy. Don't cry for your eyes would be red and they would notice and they would ask why and your mask would be broken. Do you want them to find out your little lies?

Because...

... Father, Dumbledore, Potter, Weasley, everyone, they're all the same, all trying to break me. So are you happy now, finally you've succeeded. But I do not give up. Your effort only sharpens my hatred.

I look at you. I smile at you. I talk with you. You say I make your life miserable. Maybe I love some but I hate all. I follow your commands.

No one knows I cry and laugh inside. No one knows my heart deeply hurts.

Look at me, are you satisfied now? What a doll I've become.

Look at me, I follow you now. I tell you I'm ok. But someday, all the things you've said to me, you've done to me, I'll throw them back at your faces.

I'll make you lick my boots.

I'll torture you until you scream for mercy.

I'll make you want to die.

And then, if I'm happy enough, maybe death will be your reward.

And on your graves, I'll spit and say "Go to hell."

End.

I just want to see if I can write a G fic with no slash. Happy that I really still can do it.