Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Note: It's really bothering me that Derek hasn't grieved over Mark since he died, so this is my response to that. I hope he and Callie do clean out his place together. Hope you enjoy!
Neither Derek nor Callie wanted to clean out Mark's place, but it was time. They had put it off for far too long. They chose a day that worked for them and both called off work so they wouldn't have any interruptions. Derek hadn't been in the apartment since before Mark's death and took a deep breath before following Callie inside. Arizona played with Sofia, but left the door open to keep an eye on her wife and co-worker since she had a feeling that someone was going to a meltdown. She wasn't sure who, but she was expecting one and just wanted to be prepared. Arizona was later glad that she had the foresight to do that after her prediction (unfortunately) ended up coming true.
"So, you ready for this?" Callie tried to keep the mood light, but they were both too tense about what they were about to undertake that it fell flat.
Derek flashed a nervous smile at her. "No. But we're never going to be if we don't do this." He felt rooted to the spot and tried to work up the courage to find a box and start digging in. He had decided to join Callie in the first place because Meredith kept talking about closure and the fact that he needed it (He thought it was ironic coming from her, since she still hadn't fully dealt with Lexie's death, but he saw her point) and this was important. But this was saying goodbye to Mark. Derek wasn't sure if he could do this.
Callie pushed Derek into the bedroom and he glared at her, but then headed towards the drawer to get Mark's clothes. She handed him some boxes and they started to go through them. She started to laugh. When he shot her a questioning look, Callie explained. "If Mark was here right now, he'd be saying some really dirty things about a threesome."
Derek laughed too. "You'd probably be right about that." He tried to think of happier times, but even that wasn't helping to lift his mood. His mind kept going over those last few minutes with Mark, those horrifying five days in the woods, and he was getting dragged further and further into the abyss.
Callie noticed his sudden mood shift and tried to do whatever she could to make him laugh. It worked a few times, but she was having a hard enough time herself and their moods were only darkening. "You okay?" she questioned after she noticed a few tears forming in his eyes.
He nodded and tried to choke back sobs. Derek was not going to fall apart. He had promised himself that earlier and he was determined to stick with it. "I'm fine," he lied, his voice breaking. Derek cursed himself for the moment of weakness and tried to get back to sorting the clothes.
Callie had to stop for a minute or so to pull herself together before delving back into the clothes. She was pretty close to falling apart, too, and one of them needed to be strong so they could finish this. One minute she was looking down to grab a pair of socks, and the next thing she knew, something shattered against the wall and fell to pieces on the floor. She looked up at Derek in shock. "What the hell?"
"I am just so fucking angry. How could this have happened to us? Why did Mark and Lexie have to die?" He stormed out into the living room before his knees buckled and he slid to the floor.
Callie ran after Derek to try to see if she could do anything. Meanwhile, Arizona heard the crash and looked up to see what was happening. "Sofia, stay here for me, please. I'm going to see what your mommy is doing." She kept a careful eye on her daughter and then headed over to Mark's place. "What's going on here?"
Callie sighed and looked up at her as she rubbed Derek's back to calm him down. He was emitting a keening noise that broke both women's hearts. "We were going through Mark's clothes and he couldn't take it anymore, I guess. Can you call Meredith? I don't want to leave him."
"Of course." Arizona grabbed her wife's hand and squeezed before hurrying back to their apartment. After checking on Sofia (who was fine), she called Meredith, who promised to call as soon as possible. Arizona picked up the toddler and decided to take her over because baby cuddles were the best and she figured Derek might want that comfort. His own daughter would probably be better, but she was willing to do anything.
"I thought maybe I could do this, but I can't. It hurt too much." Derek hadn't wanted to fall apart, but it was a long time coming. After Mark's funeral, he had pushed all his grief away because he didn't want to think about the fact that he had lost his brother. Cleaning out Mark's apartment was causing him to face those issues head on, however, and now the dam was broken.
Callie wanted to comfort him, but this was too much. She tried not to start crying, but it was futile. She broke and joined Derek, which unfortunately only made his situation worse. Arizona looked back and forth between them both and felt awkward. Sofia only looked confused, but she sat in between Callie and Derek and tried to comfort them the only way she know how. Meanwhile, Arizona sighed in relief when Meredith finally showed up about ten minutes. The combination of Callie and Derek's breakdown had her close to tears and she needed a break, so she grabbed Sofia and took her wife with her back to their home.
Meredith squatted down next to her husband as much as her swelling stomach would allow her. "Hey. What's the matter?"
His next words shocked her and made her hurt for him. "I can't do this. I miss Mark. We shared everything and now it's just gone. I'll never see him again. I'm not sure what to do with that." He put his head in his hands and continued to weep.
"Hey, why don't we go home? We can talk about Mark and the shit you used to do there. That sound good to you?" She was desperate to get him to start crying because she hated seeing him like this.
He nodded. "Sure." Derek couldn't spend another minute in here or he'd fall apart even more. He couldn't handle that.
Meredith tried to get up, but failed. She huffed. "Okay, you're going to have to help me up because I apparently can't sit on floors anymore."
His lips quirked up into a smile despite himself. Derek stood up and then grabbed her hand to pull Meredith up. He leaned his head on her shoulder and stopped by Callie and Arizona's to say goodbye before heading back to their house.
"I thought I could do it, but Derek lost it and then I fell apart. I'm sorry, Arizona." Callie had desperately wanted to get it out of the way, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. She hated that this had happened.
Arizona shook her head. "It's not your fault, Calliope. Maybe I pushed you too soon."
"It's not your fault either. We're going to have to do it eventually, and it's time to start moving on. It's just really hard." She bit her lip to hold off another sob.
Arizona opened her arms and her wife snuggled into the hug. "Thank you for being so understanding even when you shouldn't be, Arizona. I'm so lucky to have you." Callie grinned at her.
Arizona beamed back. "You're welcome. And I know we've had a rough time of it lately, but we're getting there. It's just a slow process. We'll get there."
"I love you." Callie just needed Arizona to know that. Their marriage had hit rough waters, but they were working through it. She wasn't going to lose her.
"I love you, too, Calliope. That's never going to change." Arizona tipped her head up and kissed Callie. They made out for a few minutes before reluctantly pulling away when Sofia started to protest her mothers not paying any attention to her.
Meanwhile, as soon as they got home, Derek crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over him. Meredith deposited Zola on the bed and lay down next to him. She stroked his face. "Why didn't you talk about this before? I thought you were doing better."
He shrugged. "I pushed it away because I didn't want to deal with the fact that he was dead. It hurt too much to think about. And with Lexie dying, too, and your pregnancy, I didn't want to put all that on you when you didn't need to. I guess I thought it was working, but it wasn't." He did feel a little better now that he had cried, but not very much. Falling apart had helped, but Derek was still grieving. He wasn't sure he'd ever recover from Mark and Lexie's deaths.
"Oh, I wish you hadn't done that. Of course I miss Lexie, but I would have helped you."
"You left me in the hospital with my dying best friend to go see Cristina and you didn't even make it on the plane." Derek wasn't sure where that had come from, but he was still pissed. Why had she left him that day?
Meredith closed her eyes and when she opened them, they were teary. "Oh, Derek. I only left because I couldn't handle seeing someone else, someone I cared about, die. I never meant to hurt you. Have you been holding on to that for the past few months?"
He nodded. "I pushed it away with everything else, but of course the grief and anger found its way out. I'm sorry I brought it up."
"Don't be sorry. I'm glad I know how you feel. I'm sorry. I really am." She clutched his hand and held him as he finally cried out his grief. Meredith cried over Lexie and Mark, but at least they grieved together and had their daughter to bring them out of their heads.
Callie and Arizona made love that night and felt closer than they had been for the first time in a long time. Taking this step had unintentionally brought them closer together and they were better off for it in the long time.
Callie and Derek waited a few more weeks and eventually managed to clean out Mark's place, this time with help from their wives (and Alex). They did manage to slowly move on, but the plane crash and that horrifying week stuck with them forever. However, it bonded them closer together, especially Callie and Derek. There were bad days, however, where Derek couldn't even get out of bed, but Meredith and their children (Their second born, a son was named Christopher Mark after the two most important men in Derek's life) helped him when the grief got to be too much. And Callie and Arizona leaned on each other. They all came out the other side stronger.