"I Won't Give Up"
Author: BaileyRaeXOXO
Song: "I Won't Give Up", by Jason Mraz
Disclaimer: I do not own OTH or any characters, just simply the ideas I've turned them into in my writing.
Summary: When Nathan and Haley's life gets turned completely upside down after a devastating accident, the couple must fight to keep their marriage together. Through the course, they discover themselves in a new light.
Author's Note: I know I am in no place to be posting ANOTHER story right now. Luckily, this is a one-shot. I apologize immensely for my lack in updates on HTSAL. I'm working on it, I promise. This one shot has actually stemmed from my overwhelming emotions these passed few weeks, and I've decided to get them out in a Naley story. This one shot is based on the Naley we saw when season 5 first started; very strained and seemingly hopeless; right after Nathan's bar fight where he was paralyzed. There is going to be some reference to things that actually happened during that time, but it's mainly me just getting what I wanted out of it. And also, I chose the song, I Won't Give Up", because if you really listen to the lyrics, it fits perfect. I've been so addicted to the song and it works well with what I'm trying to tell in the story.
I'll shut up now and let y'all read. Let me know what you think!
It was at least three in the morning, and the loud crashing from the floor below has yet to end. It's been going on for hours now. Jamie was snuggled into her side, burrowed underneath the covers.
She was doing her best to protect him from the destruction below, but it hurt her heart to see her son, their son, afraid of his father. She knew Nathan wasn't in a good place right now, hell, he wasn't in any place right now. It's like he awakened at night. That's when he finally let loose and took his anger out on whatever came to sight; usually after a few beers or a bottle of whisky. His latest victim has been all his trophies and awards that he's won throughout his basketball career.. Or previous career.
Ever since Nathan's accident, things have gone downhill. More of a rollercoaster drop instead of a hill, though. Nathan has spent the last four months regretting that night. Regretting the decisions he was told over and over again not to make.
If only I didn't drink. If only I had left with Haley. If only I had just took the limo. If only I had listened to Lucas. If only I hadn't walked back in and thrown that punch.. 'If only' was all Nathan thought he had left. He left that bar, in an ambulance, paralyzed. He lost his dream that night, the one thing he's worked for his entire life, in the blink of an eye; basketball.
Now, four months later, he spends his days in a wheelchair, cooped up in his house, miserable. He doesn't speak, he doesn't feel. He simply exists.
His relationship with Haley and Jamie has become incredibly strained. Due to the fact that he is in a wheelchair, he spends his time strictly downstairs, and sleeps on the couch. Haley stays with Jamie in their room. Nathan has isolated himself from his family. He turned completely bitter after the accident, and now confides in alcohol. It numbs his pain.
Haley's been doing her best to pick up the slack with Jamie, but he's so young and doesn't understand why his dad isn't his dad anymore. And with the couple, Haley tries so hard to breakthrough to Nathan, but he's practically a brick wall. She knows he's retaining what she's saying, but doesn't ever respond.
It's like he's gone completely cold. He doesn't look at her anymore, he doesn't touch her anymore, doesn't tell her he loves her anymore. She'd be lucky to get a word out of him.
With each passing day, her heart breaks at the sight of the man she has always, and will always love, falling to pieces. They used to be so full of life, happy, spontaneous. This was nothing she was prepared for. She doesn't know how to deal with it.
But Haley is an extremely smart woman and knows what she wants, and she does anything in her power to get it. Right now, she wants her husband back. She wants to do anything that she can to open his eyes to the light again; awaken his soul once again; ignite the fire in the love they once shared.
She finally decided this when she had came home one night to a drunk, somber Nathan.
Haley had just put Jamie to bed after his Soap Box race, that never actually happened, but she still melted at the sight of her little boy in a racing suit, designed by Brooke of course.
She was on her way downstairs to lock up for the night and check on Nathan. He was sitting upright on the couch with beers and trash scattered around him.
Nathan heard her coming around the corner in her heels, his eyes immediately focused down. He hated letting her see him like this, but at the same time, he didn't want to care. This was him now; nothing.
He had the most miserable look she had ever seen on his face as he stared straight ahead and ignored her. She made it to the coffee table, and as she leaned down, she glared at him. He wouldn't even look at her. She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she lifted a dirty dish and a couple beers off of the table. She began stacking them onto the plate.
"Well, he didn't race", Haley began, "he was afraid. You might know something about that."
"We're all afraid." Nathan muttered back in a grave tone.
Haley stopped, then took a step back, surprised that Nathan spoke, let alone against what she had said. "Yeah, but he's four, and he needed his dad, and his dad wasn't there." She defended. "Nice work, Dan." She finished harshly.
Haley continued over to the counter in the kitchen and set the plate down. She shook her head and scoffed when Nathan didn't utter a word. Not a word. Not to defend himself or anything. It surprised her again. This isn't her Nathan, and she's had enough.
With one swift movement of her hand, she sent all the beers and plates flying off the counter towards Nathan, then smashing to the ground. Nathan jumped slightly, but chose not to acknowledge her once again.
"Are you gonna say anything, or are you just gonna sit there like you have for the last four months?" Haley screamed towards him. "You gonna get drunk maybe, pout a little, cry?" She began to talk. And that was Nathan's breaking point.
He tilted his head back and ran his hands over his face. Then turned slightly and began to explain. "You don't get it, do you? I used to be somebody, Haley, do you understand that? Do you understand what that means? I used to be Nathan Scott, and I was great. And I should've walked away, okay, I know that! And I didn't do it, and now I'm nothing.. And I have nothing!" And with that, Nathan sighed and turned back around, sitting back against the couch.
Haley stood before him, her mouth agape, ready to burst at the seems. Was she nothing to him? Was their family nothing to him? Did he not realize everything that he did have?
"You have nothing?" Haley questioned, flabbergasted. "You have a beautiful son, who is here! I, am here!" She began to defend, her hand to her heart, her voice broken. Nathan let out a slight sigh, closed his eyes, and put his head down, as if finally realizing the weight and strain he has put on his family, if only slightly. "You have got to figure out who you're going to be in this, Nathan, because this version of you does not work for us." Her voice broke at the end, imaging her life without Nathan, without him there to help her though, aid her with Jamie, and share his love. "I cannot keep living like this, okay? Do you understand what I am saying? One more night like this, Nathan, and I promise you, you will have nothing!" She finished, challenging him to put himself back together for the sake of his family.
The following night after Nathan's little meltdown downstairs with his trophies once again, Haley sent Jamie to spend the night with Brooke and Peyton. It was nice having her old friends back in town and finally having Jamie spend time with them. She decided she'd try and work on Nathan tonight. Maybe get him to talk, see things through, and come back to planet earth. She missed her husband to death. They've come too far to lose things now.
As she sat in the music room, guitar in lap, playing chords to a new song, she sung the lyrics softly to herself;
When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
She continued on, completely focused on the song, but little did she know, someone else was also listening. Nathan sat in the doorway, listening carefully; entranced. God, he's missed her singing, he's missed her light, her soul. He could feel her love and hope from across the room. It sunk right into him, and in that moment, he knew he couldn't lose this, lose her, their love. He had to fight.
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
Nathan's face lit up as she sang. She still believed in him. She wasn't giving up. She still loved him. Faith was still in their favor. He leaned down and moved his feet off of the wheelchair. He gripped the arm rests and began to push up. He's been trying to walk ever since he got put in this damn wheelchair. He hasn't been very successful, but now he has a reason to push harder, to fight. He finally got to his feet and did his best to keep quiet; not wanting to interrupt Haley's magnificent singing. He gripped the doorway and continued listening.
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't tend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I'm still looking up
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
She paused and glanced up for a moment and jumped at the sight of Nathan, then literally jumped up and off the couch as she saw him on his feet.
"Nathan! What are you doing?" She said exasperated, scared and worried all at once.
"I'm fine, Hales. I was just watching you. I-I, I'm sorry for interrupting." He suddenly felt less confident, but when he saw her slight blush go from her cheeks to her chest, he knew he couldn't walk away from this, this moment. This is where he can fix them.
"Can you do one thing for me?" He asked with a slight smile. She gave him a look to continue his question. "Can you finish the song?"
She smiled and looked to the side, a bit embarrassed, but complied. She motioned them over to the couch, and she saw him take a slight step forward and wince. That's when it struck her that he was walking, Nathan was walking! "Oh my gosh!" She said quickly, rushing over to his side.
"I'm okay, Haley, I'm okay." He said soothingly, not wanting to worry her.
"When? How?" She began to babble questions, feeling so many emotions as she watched her supposed paralyzed husband stand and walk.
"I'll explain later. Right now, I just want to watch you, I want you to finish." He pretty much begged.
"Okay." She agreed. "But let me help you. Just a little." She finished quick, not wanting him to feel helpless.
They walked to the couch slowly together, and once he was seated she picked up the guitar and found her place. She sighed slightly, a little nervous at the sudden pressure she felt with him watching to intently. He smirked, knowing exactly how she got. It's like a mini stage fright. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and her head turned quickly, her eyes immediately finding his. They shared an intense look, and in that moment, she knew they could to it.
She began to strum the guitar, finishing the song for him.
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
She finished, closing her eyes, feeling the intensity of their emotions swirling throughout the room. His hand found the small of her back and he rubbed softly. "Hales." He whispered weakly. "That was.. God." He couldn't even find words. She had him completely entranced.
Her blush increased and he smirked slightly. God, she missed his smirk. It was so sexy.
"All I could think about every time I played that song was you, us." She finally began to admit. "Nathan.. I need you."
She didn't have to explain any further, Nathan knew what she meant, and he had to make it up to her.
"Haley, baby. I don't know how many times I'd have to say sorry till you forgave me, and I wouldn't blame you if you never did, but I'm sorry. So so so sorry. I never should've shut you or Jamie out like I did. There's so many things I shouldn't have done, so many things I regret. I don't have an explanation for it all, but all I can say is .. Things will get better, I promise you that. I can't lose you, or Jamie. I want my family back, my life back. I want to make this up to you. I need you. I need your love. It's all that I can feel now."
Haley's heart broke at the same time it healed as Nathan explained. She had no words. All she knew was she felt a whole new love for him in this moment and needed to show him. She lunged forward, her arms darting around his neck, her lips meeting his in a searing kiss. God, she missed this; his body, his lips, his taste. Everything.
When Nathan finished speaking, he knew that look in her eyes; he knew what she was up to. His eyes darkened at the thought. Then her arms were around him and her lips were on his. This is what they need right now. It won't ultimately fix them, but it'll bring them together in a way they both need; love.
As their kisses intensified, Haley's fingers found the hem of his shirt and she began to tug. Nathan knew what that meant and lifted his arms above his head, only breaking the kiss to slide the shirt between them and off. She found his lips once again as his hands found her tank tops. He slid the straps down and pushed it down to her belly, passed her breasts. They spilled out and he smirked, realizing she wasn't wearing a bra. He loved that.
Haley moaned when his hands began massaging her breasts, and his lips found her neck. He knew all her sweet spots and took advantage of that. She raked her nails through his thick, long hair and pulled it at the back. He groaned inwardly as his head tilted back. He watched her heatedly as she sat up and climbed into his lap, straddling him. She immediately felt his erection against her center and groaned loudly, gripping his shoulders. He smirked once again as his hands moved down to her waist. She moved her lips back up to his.
Tongues battled, lower halves grinded, moans were heard. And finally, when all their clothes were shed, the couple could finally become familiar with one another again.
Nathan entered her swiftly, both gasping at the immense pleasure they felt. It was so good to be inside of her again.
Haley gripped the sheets next to her as she began to rock with him, finally getting used to how good this all felt. When she moved up to meet his thrust, he slammed into her, getting much deeper. Haley could feel the coil in her stomach begin to clench and she knew it wouldn't be too long, and by Nathan's thrusts, he wasn't too far behind.
"Oh, God. Nathan." Haley moaned loudly in his ear, her nails digging into his back.
"I know, baby. Fuck. I missed you." He groaned back, his thrusts becoming fiercer. And with one last push, they came together, both screaming out in pleasure.
Once they regained their senses and caught their breaths, Haley snuggled into his side, content with this moment. She never wanted it to end. She was also hoping Nathan was true with what he said, and that he would let this darkness go and come back to her, and their son. She missed him altogether.
Nathan wrapped his arms tight around her and kissed her forehead, and as if reading her mind, he told her he'd keep to his word and make them a family again. He apologized again for everything that happened, everything he put them through. And with one long, sensual, loving kiss from Haley, he knew he was forgiven. He'd never break his wife like he did again, he'd never hurt his son the way he did, never again. He'd fix it all, and make it right for good.
Because after all, they are "always and forever".