Authors Notes: This is a missing scene between Cassie and Jake at the end of book 41.
All Our Sins
I gripped the phone receiver tightly in my fist and waited for Cassie to speak.
"Cassie are you still there?"
"I'm here Jake." She finally answered in a weak, shaky voice.
"Cassie I have to see you." I pleaded in a voice that was just as shaky as hers.
"Meet me in the woods behind my house in a hour." She said and then she hung up the phone. I showered, dressed and ate a quick breakfast before heading to the woods behind her house. I walked there with my thoughts churning at a million miles an hour. I had treated her badly after our last battle when she had needed me the most. All of us had barely gotten out of there alive. We had escaped through a door that led out to a busy street. Cassie had just stood there in the middle of the street and I had to yank her into an alley so she wouldn't get hit. In the dank, dark alley she had asked me if we had become like the Yeerks. I flatly told her no and walked away from her. I had walked away when she had desperately needed me. I didn't want to face her again after what I had done but I had too. I had to make her understand that I would never intentionally turn my back on her. I was so messed up from the battle that I wasn't thinking straight when I walked away. I approached the woods and she was already there waiting with her back turned. She didn't turn around at my approach so I hesitantly called out her name. I saw her stiffen at the sound of my voice and then she slowly turned around. I felt my chest tighten at the sight of her. She looked like she was on the verge of collapse and there were fresh tearstains on her face.
"Jake. I'm glad you're here."
"Are you really Cass?" I asked softly afraid of hearing the answer.
"Yeah. I know that you didn't mean to be so harsh to me after the battle. I just really needed you after I killed all those Hork Bajir."
"I know Cassie."
"I also know that you were messed up too because we almost had to leave Rachel and Marco behind."
"That's no excuse Cassie. I failed you because I wasn't there when you needed me the most."
"You could never fail me Jake." She said softly and reached up a hand to gently caress my cheek. My eyes slid shut at her touch and I enfolded her in a tight hug. We held each other in silence until she pulled away and looked into my eyes.
"Are all of us going to be all right Jake?"
"I don't know Cassie. I just don't know." I said as I hugged her again but deep in my heart I did know. I knew that the war we were fighting in was changing all of us. Rachel was addicted to the violence an the killing, Tobias was becoming more withdrawn then ever before after his experience with Taylor, Cassie, my sweet Cassie, was slowly being turned into a ruthless killer, and I was becoming numb to all feelings except the love I had for Cassie. I knew with a sickening certainty that none of us would ever be all right again because war changes everyone no matter how strong they are.
The End