Daylight, see the dew on a sunflower...
And a rose that it fading...
Roses wither away.
Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day...
She sat alone, in the bedroom, staring or more of glaring at the photo of her and Lily playing happily in the waves. Their hair was in soaked ringlets that clung to their face and arm as well as their nearly identical swim suits. Perfect Lily... she scowled. Pretty perfect charming Lily. Lily with her vibrant red hair and cheerful green eyes. Then there was her, with her pale blonde hair, and brooding eyes.
"When did it all fall apart Lily?" Petunia asked herself as the full moon rose behind her.
Memory, turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you,
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is,
Then a new life will begin...
He was running away from it all, he couldn't take it back there. He wasn't made for this job, despite what his father had insisted all those years ago. He just didn't have the right personality to deal with children. These last few years had been especially taxing at that, what with all the murders on behalf of You-Know-Who. He just didn't have the emotional capabilities to deal with crying and upset (quite understandably as it may be) kids.
So that's why, tonite, the night after the big celebrations over the defeat of You-Know-Who, he slipped away into the night, made it a decent distance out into the Forbidden Forrest, then apparated. Asking to be in Surrey, a familiar place to him, it had been where he stayed while he was studying at the nearby college. Anywhere in Surrey for that matter. Anywhere was exactly what he got. He was somewhere in Surrey... he just didn't know where exactly.
If he took the time to think about it, and delve deep into himself, he might realize another reason he was running was because of the loss of his step-brother. They'd never resolved their differences through their school years, and now was too late. He never was angry at his 'brother', he was upset by the fact that his father had replaced his mother, especially so soon. It had only seemed that his mother's coffin had been covered with the last shovelful of dirt when his father had been married again. It had most likely only been a few months... probably over nine months, while they both were away at school, and then he had a whole new mother and a brother to contend with. So everything that he felt towards his father got turned a more reachable target, his new brother. It seemed that he felt the same way. So they were constantly dueling it out through school, until they went their seperate ways once they graduated.
And just when he thought he had it all figured out, and that he could appologize for what happened, he died, and that was that...
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was,
Let the memory live again...
Petunia stared at the grossly over jeweled engagement ring on her finger. Studded with diamonds, emeralds and rubies, she took the ring off, as well as her gold wedding band and tossed them in her tiek wood jewelry box. She sat down in front of the vanity and slowly began to comb her hair. She remembered what happened between the two of them.
They'd gone to school, or more of Lily had gone to school first, for two years, and then she'd went. Lily had new friends, and lots of them, and preferred, on recesses, most naturally to spend time with them. Petunia tried very hard to be like her sister, but found no friends from it. They were, however, still together at home.
Well, until the letter came. Then Lily was sent away to boarding school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. At first she was happy that her big sister was going to a special exclusive school, everyone in the family was.
She came back with fantastic stories of disappearing staircases, ghosts that wandered the halls, food that appeared on plates all by itself (Mother had found that particularly amusing and useful.), games played on flying broomsticks, and other amazing things. From that day onward until she was eleven and a half she wished on a star every night that she too would get to go to the school. Regular was profoundly boring, and even more so compared to her adventures at Hogwarts.
One night, however Lily had caught her as she was getting a drink of water from the bathroom, and asked her what she was wishing for. She told her. Lily frowned slightly and then said, rather matter of factly:
"You normally recieve your letter on the third or the fourth week of July before or just after you turn eleven years old. I'm sorry, but I'm sure Hawthorn Conservatory will be just as fun!" Before going onto bed.
She'd put on a carefree mask at the news, and told herself and Lily that it didn't bother her in the least to go to Hogwarts. It didn't matter that the night they dropped Lily off at the train station as well as her first night at Hawthorn she cried herself to sleep, horridly disappointed in herself. What had made Lily special?
That's when the wedge between them began to creep in. When she came back from a rather bland year at Hawthorn, her mother complained all summer over her moodiness and 'Why can't you be more like Lily?'. From there on in it only got worse. They grew up getting farther and farther apart, to the point where she barely acknowledged her as her sister.
She regetted that now, she knew that it had to have hurt Lily. They'd gotten married soon after school, the both of them, only a month apart, much to their father's despair at times. Lily married her sweethart James Potter, and she married... Vernon.
There was nothing wrong with Vernon, he was completely and utterly ordinary. Not expectionally handsome, not horridly ugly either. Good steady job... that was going nowhere, a man who thought his dinner should be on the table promptly at six o'clock every night. A man who listened to country music for God's sake! Old country music at that... But Vernon had his good points, he was dependable, a good father, etc. etc. etc. Good thing he was out of town for a week on a buisness trip, otherwise she would have had to been in bed long ago. The moon had stopped rising by now (she was suprised by that,), and was beginning to set.
She wasn't in love with him... she'd hoped, after she'd accepted his proposal all those years ago, that she could learn to love him... so far she was unsucessful. She could be the perfect wife for him however.
She stood when she heard a loud wail from nursery. Followed by another from Harry.
"Coming Dudley! Coming Harry!" She called sweetly, throwing on her bathrobe over her cotton chemise, sliding her perfectly ordinary house slippers on, and heading downstairs and warming two bottles of milk in the microwave.
Yes, she was going to have a perfectly normal life, with a normal house, with a normal husband, with a normal son, and now, a not-so-normal nephew. It was a given that Harry would inherit his parents' wizarding abilities, she'd be shocked if he didn't. Dudley wouldn't ever amount to that... She snorted to herself. No... Dudley would end up just like his father, stuck in a dead end job, with a semi-pretty wife to tend to his needs and his children, end of story. She should be happy. Yet that old feeling that she had since that night when Lily told her that there could be no way that she'd be accepted into Hogwarts began to creep up on her as she went upstairs to feed the children...
Burnt out ends of smokey days...
The stale cold smell of morning.
A street lamp dies,
Another night is over,
Another day is dawning...
After Dudley and Harry were back to sleep after being sucessfully fed, burped, and changed with minor fuss, Petunia slunk downstairs, flopped down on the couch, and pulled from between the cushions a little secret that Vernon didn't know about. It was a trashy romance novel that she'd picked up at the grocery store earlier yesterday. Vernon would rant about the waste of money, but he wasn't here right now, and she fully intended on reading it. She enjoyed the naughty thrill she was getting from this, going against Vernon's ideals. She giggled, and found her spot and continued to read.
She'd gotten to one of the particularly lusty parts (most of it was rather fake, she would know), when there was a loud crash in the backyard. She jumped to her feet, threw down her book, and ran to the backdoor in the kitchen and peered through the blinds into the night.
Someone was out there. She gave a squeak of fear, and grabbed the heaviest thing she could find, a four foot log of Summer Sausage.
"Freeze!" She shouted, clutching the sausage tightly like a bat. The figure turned, and she realized 'he' was taller than her petite 5'1", much taller. He turned to her.
"Don't!" He called, throwing out his hands. Petunia swung the sausage on instinct, and smacked him up the side of the head, and slammed him into the cement bird bath, where the mysterious intruder fell with a sound thud, and a moan.
Just then the burglary deterrant system that Vernon had installed kicked in, and flooded the garden with light. She stood over the young man who was definately knocked out, collapsed ontop of her dragonsnaps, and perfectly unarmed. Frowning and feeling slightly guilty, she tossed the sausage away, and dragged the man by his hands into her living room, determined on awakening him, and asking him why the hell he was wandering her garden this early in the morning. Vernon would have called the cops and had him arrested... but he wasn't here. She giggled again... ironically.
Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life,
And I mustn't give in.
When the dawn come comes tonite will be a memory too,
And a new day will begin.
Severus woke up slowly, groaning all the way. His head throbbed with a nasty headache, as well as his ankle, and he could feel a distinct lump in the back of his head. He dimly realized that he wasn't anywhere he recognized. He remembered coming to Surrey, then jumping over a fence, looking for a way into the street, a woman shouting 'Stop!', before being hit soundly over the side of the head by something particularly dense, before blacking out.
"Good, you're up." Came a voice above him, he groaned a little as he tried to shove himself up, but two firm hands, backed up by two eyes glaring eyes, shoved him back down. "However, you hit my birdbath pretty hard, and you twisted your ankle, you'll be staying over here for a few days. Lay down." Petunia said quietly, taking a seat beside the man. She'd left Harry and Dudley in the care of Mrs. Figg, who loved kids. She wanted to be alone for this. She'd had enough time to study him to her heart's delight while he was out. Thin, but he had nice muscles. He wasn't drop dead gorgeous like those guys that modeled underwear, anti-perspirant, and shaving cream, but he was interesting enough. And those honest black eyes were to die for... she shook herself, reminding herself that she was a *married* woman, with a son, and this man had just broken into her backyard at four in the morning.
"You've got a mean hit, do you know that?" He croaked, rubbing the side of his head.
"Sorry, you scared me, most sane people don't run about someone's garden at four AM." She replied. He gave a weak smirk.
"Sorry about that... I got lost, it's a long story."
"Well I've got the time, Mr....?"
"Snape. Call me Severus or whatever you want..."
"Alright, my name's Petunia. Now, why were you stalking about my garden? And I don't want any of those lies that you tell people who aren't wizards or witches, I already know about their world." She demanded as she handed him his wand, enjoying his blink of surprise.
"I apparated... well not here specifically... I think I apparated somewhere down a block. I asked to go to Surrey... I forgot to say where. I couldn't find my way to the street, so I started traveling in the direction where I could see lights, and then I ended up in your garden, and you know the rest." He said slowly. Petunia noticed that his dialect, although it sounded rather common, he sounded very refined... very well educated. She nodded.
"What were you running from?" She asked, as she leaned over to pour herself and him a cup of tea.
"How do you know I was running from anything?" He snapped.
"No need to get huffy, just wondering. People don't normally go somewhere without knowing exactly where they're going, and generally they don't come to this province." She said, handing him a cup of tea.
"Thank you..." He replied quietly. "I guess it can't hurt..." He sighed after a moment, as he stubbornly pushed himself up into a sitting position.. "I work as a teacher, I'm a pretty bad one at that. I know what I'm teaching, I'm knowledgable about those kinds of things, but I'm horrid with kids. Finally, I just got so sick of it, I started running. I don't know why I took the job, but I don't know what to do without it! My degrees are useless to anything but teaching. I'm useless, and I'm bored with teaching things that nobody gives a whit about." He explained. Petunia, however, continued to stare at him.
"There's more to it than that." Was all she said, as she leaned back, inviting him to spill his guts. He didn't know why he trusted her, but something about those eyes was very familiar.
"Well... it might also be that my step-brother died recently. He and I never got along, and it was over some pretty stupid things. It's funny how you don't realize things about someone until they're gone." He said in morbid amusement. Petunia stared at him in shock for a moment, before burying her expression her cup of tea.
The conversation fell silent for a moment as the two of them stared uncomfortably at each other.
"I agree... I had a similar situation with my sister." Petunia said quietly. "She was always much better than me at things, and she was a witch, and I really wanted to be just like her for the longest time, but there wasn't any hope for me being a witch, so I started to resent her." She sighed.
"Full of regrets," Severus said flatly.
"And the worst part is the guilt, knowing that you're wrong and you can't ever say sorry to that person because they're gone." Petunia said frowning slightly.
"Did you put any Irish cream in this?" Severus asked after a moment, staring at his tea cup.
"I don't think so?" Petunia replied, staring at her own cup skeptically. "I don't keep coffee liquors around the house." She shrugged. She laughed shortly after another moment spent in silent musing. "This is beginning to be like a cheap romance novel, no? Two people meet up, one walking about in the other's garden late at the night, the other beats the prowler with a hunk of meat, and then they have a cup of tea." She giggled. "Next thing we know, we'll be kissing passionately, ripping each other's clothes off, and professing our undying love for the other, while making ontop of each other on the coffee table." She suddenly blushed with horrid embarassment about what vulgar things she'd just said aloud, in front of a complete stranger. Fortunately for her dignity, Severus cocked an eyebrow and sent her an amused glance.
"Does sound rather cheap." He smirked. "But I'm afraid that my life is so boring that the chances of that happening are incredibly slim."
"Amen. We boring or bored people have got to stick together." Petunia grinned. She made a mental note to write a letter of thanks to the tea company tomorrow. This was good tea. It actually made her think that she was having feelings for a complete stranger! This had to be good tea. And the way he was looking at her occasionally, when he thought she wasn't looking, it must be getting to him too.
Sunlight, through the trees in the summer,
Endless masquerading.
Like the flower as the dawn is breaking,
The memory is fading.
The feelings, however didn't fade. They spent a few hours chatting about their pasts, avoiding the thoughts about their deceased relations, mourning was given it's speak, and now it had to go fade into the background and they had to get on with life. In fact, they had so far progessed to get in a small arguement.
"Well your life has to be more exciting, you can perform magic! You can fix your problems!" Petunia said, crossing her hands in her lap.
"Cannot! Magic's not worth a thing when your oppenents more powerful than you. Most people don't consider Potions magic, and I teach it. I live the same life as you." He replied.
"I still wish I could do magic." Petunia with a sigh.
"Magic's everywhere, you've just got to take the time to see it, stop and smell the roses if you will." Severus said, forcing himself to his feet and pulling out his wand. He favoured his injured ankle. "Come over here and I'll show you some."
A trill of excitement went up Petunia's spine as she stood. He placed the wand in her right hand, and closed her fingers around it. He then placed his warm and delicate hand around hers. She could feel his heart beating against her shoulderblade.
Severus quickly tried to come up with a simple charm to perform, while trying to ignore the feel of her soft skin and the sweet smell of her honey coloured hair. What was he thinking? She'd beat him in the middle of the night for being in her garden for goodness sake! They barely knew each other too. Pushing those thoughts out of his mind as he found an easy spell, he shoved a piece of hair sharply behind his ear.
"Okay, repeat after me, 'Wigardium Levosa'." Severus said, moving her hand in the proper motion.
"I feel silly, you know this isn't going to work." Petunia protested.
"Just do it, trust me, it looks just as silly when you see somebody else do it." Severus said with a bit of humour in his tone.
"Alright, but I'm telling you this is perfectly silly. Wigardium Levosa." They stood there for a moment, and Petunia took a step forward, freeing herself from his grasp, and frowned at him. "See? Nothing happened." She said presenting his wand back to him.
"Not quite true, look down." Severus said, smiling. Petunia looked down and found herself standing about six inches off of her carpet. She gave a small squeak of surprise, the hugged Severus tightly, to both of their suprise.
"Thank you..." She whispered in his ear.
Just then there was a roar of an automotive engine as it pulled into the street. Petunia froze, that could ONLY be Vernon's car. She paled and jumped back from Severus.
"You've got to get out of here!" She said urgently.
"Alright, what's going on?" Severus said, lowering the two of them to the ground.
"My husband's home, he's not supposed to be here! Please, just go!" She said, pleading. His face fell for a second, before he nodded, waved his wand (he was right, it did look rather silly), and disappeared in a haze of orange sparks.
Quickly Petunia scooped up the two teacups and put them into the dishwasher, and made a head long sprint upstairs to the bedroom, and put on her wedding and engagement rings, and had enough time to make it to the door and wait for him. The car must have died in the middle of the road for a moment. He entered, grinning through his bushy mustache at her.
"Hello Petunia."
"Hello Vernon."
Silence -- not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory,
She is smiling alone.
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet,
And the wind begins to moan...
Vernon noticed that all that night that his lovely wife seemed incredibly edgy around him. It wasn't like her. Normally she was very calm, very severe as you may call it. She wasn't acting normally, but he supposed she was adjusting to Harry still... since he was too. She must have had a hard time adjusting, since she'd left Harry AND Dudley off at Mrs. Figg's.
He shrugged it off as he tried to kiss Dudley good-bye, and then drove off to work.
Petunia nibbled her lip as she patiently cleaned up Dudley's mess, letting him and Harry play in the playpen, wondering where Severus was.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Came a despairing voice in a low moan behind her. She squeaked and smacked her head on the underside of the table, before crawling out to stare at Severus, now dressed in black robes similar to the ones her sister had worn all those years ago, except with a mock-turtle neck collar. "Why didn't you tell me you were married, then I wouldn't feel like such a fool." He said, looking away from her.
"I didn't think this would happen! I didn't think you'd be wonderful! I thought you were some stupid catburgular that had no weapon that I could subdue with a teapot to the head. How foolish do I feel?" She protested, biting back tears as she tossed her sponge into the sink.
"Do you love him?" Severus said, after a moment where they merely gazed into each other's eyes.
"I...I...I don't know..." There was two loud squawks from the front room that made Severus jump and Petunia flinch.
"Harry! Dudley! Darn it..." She muttered, stomping into the front room. Severus following on her trail. She frowned when she saw Harry standing on top of Dudley's shoulders and trying to climb out of the play pen. "Harry! Don't climb out of the playpen!" She snapped, picking up the wandering one-year-old and placing him firmly back in the cage. She turned back to Severus, who's face looked like he'd just been hit by a two-by-four, or the meat equivalent.
"Your sister married James Potter, didn't he? That's their son, Harry, is it not?" He said, his voice a little hollow as he stared at Harry.
"Yes... my sister is Lily Potter..." Her mind caught up with her and she realized what was happening. "Your step-brother who died, he was James Potter!" She exclaimed. Severus nodded.
"Why does this have to happen..." He moaned under his breath.
"What? What's wrong? Is there some law about step-brother and sister-in-laws having a relationship in the wizard world?" Petunia asked nervously.
"No, none at all. It's just that Harry's not allowed any contact with wizards or witches, until he's accepted into Hogwarts." Petunia's face fell at that news.
"Ten years..." She whispered to herself. She dropped her head slightly. "I guess it's just as well... I don't think I'd trust Vernon to care for a child on his own... I've got responsibilities to Dudley." She looked up at him hopefully. "But maybe, if we meet up when they graduate, we could try, if you haven't found somebody else by then."
"I will wait for you. And I'll find a way to write you..." was all that Severus said, before kissing Petunia on the lips. "Good-bye until then..." He whispered before disappearing out of her life for the next sixteen years, except in letters of course. Letters that would have to be hidden or burned incase Vernon might find them. She turned and glared at Harry, before sighing and continuing her boring housework, and looking toward to sixteen more years of the same thing, and dreaming about her life afterwards.
Touch me, it's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun.
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness,
Look a new day has begun.
The area by the lake was filled with seats and a stage and podium stood at the end facing the castle. Today was graduation for the class of 2003, Harry's class to be more specific. They wore special robes of their house colour that day, that glimmered slightly in the afternoon sun. In front of them beside the podium was a pile of diplomas for the whole class, which survived and passed with high scores. It was part of Hermoine's job as Head Girl, as well as Terry Boot, Head Boy, to had them out later on. Harry stood, anxiously awaiting the final ceremony with the diploma distribution, ready to graduate with the rest of the class. The only lamentable thing about this whole ceremony was that it was Snape's turn give the speech this year. The back of Harry's mind wondered fretfully what embarassing things he was going to say out there to everybody's parents, minus his of course.
He squinted out into the audience and could see the Weasley family, all eight of them, Hermoine's parents, who were trying to hide, from what it seemed, from Mr. Weasley. Lucius Malfoy (Harry resisted his urge to spit)... and Aunt Petunia!?!? He looked quickly and found that Uncle Vernon wasn't present and neither was Dudley. What was Aunt Petunia doing here, alone, her hair cut into a bob, and staring right back at him smirking, as if she'd done this on purpose to freak him out.
"Harry, what's up? You look like someone bashed you over the head with a side of beef!" Dean laughed, giving his shoulder a shove.
"My Aunt Petunia's out in the audience..." He said flatly. Dean looked at him funny for a second, before shrugging and turning to the podium as the ceremony was about to begin.
Harry tried to ignore Aunt Petunia rather unsucessfully all the way through Dumbledore's and Hermoine's speeches. Then he found the attention-grabber, which cleared his mind from any thoughts of Aunt Petunia, and was, unfortuately, Professor Snape.
A rather informally dressed Professor Snape at that. He was wearing a pair of semi-dressed up pants, and dark shirt, his hair pulled back in a pony tail, as if he feared it might get in his way.
"Hello class of 2003, and welcome to the end of your lives as students, and the beginning of your lives as adults and wizards. Although you won't believe me, I've been honored to teach with this group of students, and even though I might have caused a large amount of them strife..."
"No snot." Neville muttered down two people from Harry. Harry sent him an amused glance, glad that Neville had gotten some guts over his seven years.
"Probably more than they deserve,"
"Alright, when's he gonna say:'Just kidding, you blithering dolts!'?" Seamus whispered behind him. Harry shrugged. Today was sure getting interesting, Aunt Petunia arriving, Snape *appologizing*...
"I'd like to say sorry to those whom I may have hurt or offended, and also would like to give them this gift."
"Alright, where's the bomb!" Ron said, two rows above him, looking around frantically for a moment. "Or the horde of Dark Wizards, Harry do you have your wand?!"
"Although it may not do you any good, except for those of you who have siblings. I'm quitting this job." There was a stunned silence from those students behind him. He shook his head and turned to them. "You may rejoice. Good luck." before walking off stage.
There was a moment of confused silence, then Neville began a loud whooping chant that traveled like a chain reaction down the risers, echoing loudly in the trees. Even Hermoine joined in, as the diplomas soared up in the air and flew to their owners.
As soon as the ceremony was over, Harry made his way through the crowd, Ron and Hermoine following, perplexed behind him, as he went to find Aunt Petunia.
He was too shocked to say anything when he found her with Snape. He froze and his jaw dropped as they chatted to themselves. Aunt Petunia turned to him for a second, glaring at him for an instant, before Snape nudged her, and whispered something in her ear, that made her face brighten.
"Harry, I'd like to say I'm sorry for the way I've treated you for the last sixteen years." She said, her tone sincere. Harry's jaw dropped a little lower as he saw Snape smile encouragingly. "And I'm sorry for any way I might have hurt your feelings, and I know I can't expect you and I to get along now or most likely ever, but I still want to say I'm sorry for everything."
"What? Why are you doing this? Why now, why didn't you just..." Harry asked.
"Why didn't I just treat you right from the start? I was just as miserable as you were all those years, although for different reasons, and I took them out on you, and it was wrong." She grinned a little bit and fished something out of her pocket. "Do what makes you happy Harry, always do something to make you happy." She giggled, "And as compensation for your hard work over these sixteen years, I give you a new car." She tossed the keys to him. "It's the new Jaguar, English racing green, convertable with white leather interior. Courtesy of me and Vernon. You'll find it down in parking lot D, space ten, and if you can't find it, just turn on the panic button. You'll hear it. Have fun!"
"But, Dudley got a Volkswagen convertable, why would he give me this? Why would he give me anything?" Harry asked.
"Vernon doesn't exactly know what I did with all his alimony money." She smirked. She turned to Snape, who had a broom handy. "You ready to go?"
"I've been ready." He grinned, hoisting her up on the broomstick behind him, where she wrapped her arms around his waist, and they sped off.
"Harry..." Ron said putting his arm around his friend. "There are some things in life men are never meant to know. They are one of them." He looked down at the keys. "You are going to let your best friend in the world cruise in your sweet auto right?" Harry laughed.
"No way, not until you get your driver's license."
"Aww come on Harry!"
Petunia rubbed Severus' shoulder against her chin. He grinned and looked back at her.
"Regrets?"
"Never."
Author Notes: This freaky or what? Alright you know the drill people R/R! Oh, and to Alana Black who nicely flamed me over one of my stories saying:'PROFESSOR SNAPE IS WELCH!! THIS STORY STINKS!'. I'd like to tell her that Merlyn appreciated the show of support. Also, I do not own the characters in this story, the car mention (I wish!), or the song Memory. They belong to J.K. Rowling, The Ford Motor Company, and Andrew Llyod Webber and the Really Useful Group. Thank you