A/N- This takes place sometime after Fear Her but before Army of ghosts. Songfic Ten/Rose
A/N2- Ok, I'd like to apologies to my wonderful new BETA Mikkifavo for forgetting to put this on here the first time I posted it! She did a fantastic job of fixing all my mistakes and this story would not be as good as it is with out her. That You!
Don't own a thing...song or show
Oh, Why You
Look So Sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and
come to me now
She heard him from her room, a low sad cry from the dark empty depths of the TARDIS. She wasn't sure where his room was, and she'd never even thought to ask. She could hear him, and as she moved through the corridors it got louder and she knew she was getting closer.
When she finally came to a room in an unfamiliar part of the ship, she knew she had finallyfound his room. The crying was low and almost silent, so she knew there was no way she could have heard it all the way from her room unless, the TARDIS had wanted her to hear it.
She couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not so she slowly opened the door and stuck her head in. Everything was dark except for a dim blue light and all she could hear was a low shudder of breath.
Don't be
ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've
seen the dark side too
He was sitting there, hisfeet over the side of the bed andhis face in his hands. She could see thathis coat and jacket had beenthrown over a chair, his vest unbuttoned and his tie loosened.
He didn't look up and she wondered if perhaps he hadn't heard her. Maybe she should close the door and leave him in peace. She shook her head and took a deep breath, reminding herself thatthe Doctor wouldn't leave her crying on her bed and soshe wouldn't leave him. She opened the door all the way and though it made no noise his head jerked up to watch her approaching. She could see his face better in the dim light now, and she saw that there were no signs of crying, his eyes were not red nor were there stains on his cheeks, but two tears rolled silently down his face.
When the
night falls on you
You don't know what to do
"Rose" he croaked out, he sounded as if he'd been crying.
"Are you ok?" She asked walking into the room even though he hadn't asked her.
"Sure" he assured her, flashing a bright smile that didn't even begin to reach his eyes. Rose nodded and walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. She reached up and wiped the tears off his face.
Nothing you
confess
Could make me love you less
"Tell me" She said putting her arm over his shoulder and pulling his head torest onher own shoulder, it didn't take much effort; he didn't seem to be holding back his emotion any more. She wasn't sure what he might say but she knew she'd listen.
I'll stand
by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt
you
I'll stand by you
She listened as he told her about his homeplanet, about the people on it and the things they had done. He told her about his son, 'So long ago' he murmured his whole body vibrated with the pain of lose.
He told her about hijacking the TARDIS, about his little stowaway. He told her about learning to fly the TARDIS, how everything worked, about the ins and outs. He told her about Susan, 'My granddaughter' He smiled as he remembered her. 'So like me her father had said' he shook his head and lowered his voice. 'Too much.' He told her about how he had left her on earth, 'she was better off' he uttered softly, staring into Rose's eyes,as if pleading with her to understand. She took his hand and smiled perceptively. He was right, Rose said, Susan had been in love, and he'd done well.
Then he told her about the Eye of Harmony. He told her about the end of his world, the end of everything for him. Told her, fear in his eyes that he was the one, he had ended it all. 'The killer of my own kind' he whispered lowering his head a little.
Rose knew he didn't need reassurance, no matter how much she wanted to give it. She knew he just needed to speak, and as long as he did she would listen.
He told her that he had 'pushed the button' as he put it. Then they had been gone, all of them, wiped out of time and space, never having been at all. He told her about waking up in the TARDIS in his ninth form, a new man. But he had been a broken man, a shattered soul.
So if you're
mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and
talk to me now
She watched as he stood up to pace, never going far from where she sat. He stalked around the room like a caged tiger. She could see the anger and hurt under his carefully constructed mask. She wanted to find a way to help him break past it, to be angry, to feel the hurt, because she knew, that was the only way to move on from it. So she pushed and prodded a little, asked questions that put him on edge, then tried to send him over.
Hey, what you
got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like
you
'No' he cried out when she asked if anyone else was out there. Was he sure? 'Yes' he stated firmly. Of course he was sure, he'd feel it, he told her before, didn't she remember? 'Up here, I'd feel it' he said tapping his head. Then she smiled 'What about Susan?' she asked looking up at him. 'She's still there, on earth, where you left her'
'No' he said shaking his head. 'Gone, or most likely so' his voice low, holding back so much. 'She doesn't exist, none of them do.' She could see the anger now, clear and crystallized, ready to shatter.
'And the Daleks?' She asked, trying to reach the breaking point, pushing, wondering all the time if she was going about this the right way.
When you're
standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to
choose
"Gone!" He exclaimed no almost shaking with anger. 'Supposedly' he said sarcasm and rage dripping from his words like a poison. The fury wasthere now, at the surface.
'But they weren't were they?' He'd yelled at no one in particular, fate maybe. 'Trying to take over a new world, trying to destroy everything again!' He raved, his breath coming in short busts now. 'Why?' He'd demanded glaring up at the ceiling of his room as if he expected an answer. 'Why spare them, and not us?'
Let me
come along
'cause even if you're wrong
'But they did' Rose pointed out. He spun to look at her. 'You're still here'
I'll stand by you
'So I am' He agreed and sunk onto the bed next to her. His anger seemed to have evaporated, gone as quickly as it had come,leaving some kind of calmin him.
'Why did they ask you to do it?' She asked reaching over to take his hand again. He looked down at their hands and then reached up and pulled his tie off and threw it on the chair beside his bed.
'Only one who could' He mused, seeming a little unsure himself as to why it had been him.
"Why did you live?' She asked as she looked himin the eyes. They seemed just a little clearerand brighter maybeher talk with him had healed him a little.
I'll
stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll
stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And
I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
'A fluke of time' He guessed shrugging his shoulders limply. 'I think the TARDIS protected me somehow. Shekept me safe.' He took a deep breath then and let it out in a long stream. 'So much lost' He stated as he shook his head.
'I'm sorry' Rose whispered. He laid his head in her lap and she began to play with his long brown hair. She was desperately hoping she had done some good for him, she didn't want her Doctor to be sad any more.
'Me too' He yawned, the tell-tale sign that sleep wasn't far away; he was tired emotionally and physically. 'Don't go' he begged softly, searching her eyes and the depths of her soul with a child-like fear in his eyes.
'I'm not
going anywhere' she assured him as he closed his eyes. She rubbed
his hand lightly with her thumb. And
when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're
feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
Six hours later and The Doctor was stretched over the bed, his hair ruffled from sleep. She was still holding his hand and watching him sleep. It was late, and she knew sheshould be overly tired, but she wasn't. Every once and a while he had moved, thrashing around a little, and Rose would raise her free hand to brush back his hair and whisper words of comfort until he'd calm down again. Right now he looked more at peace then she had ever seen him before.
She knew bits and pieces of what he'd told her last night. She had listened to him when he told her things, they had mostly been off handed comments he probably hadn't realized he was saying. 'I was a dad once' she remembered he had remarkedonce. Though hearing him tell her about his family had surprised her quite a bit.
I'll stand
by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt
you
She looked down when she felt him pull on her hand, afraid he may have been having a bad dream again. He wasn't, he was waking up. His eyes fluttered open and he looked up at her.
"Rose" He spoke her name softly as he awoke. "What are you doing here?"
"Standing watch" She said squeezing his hand with a small smile on her face. She could see from his expression that he was remembering everything he had said to herlast night. He sat up and looked down at himself, still in his pants and shirt. He was still holding Rose's hand and she smiled at him again. He leaned against the head board and looked at her.
I'll stand
by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll
never desert you
"How do you feel?" She asked still smiling because of how rumpled he looked.
"Lighter" he told her truthfully.
"I would imagine its hard carrying all that around with you" She stated sympatheticallyas she too leaned against the head board.
"What about you?" He asked, she could see worry in his eyes and wondered what it was for.
"What do you mean?" She questioned, feeling a little confused about his reaction.
"Now you know… everything…" He mumbled looking down for a moment. "Everything I did"
"Oh" She stated thoughtfully as his head came back up a little. "That" She turned so she was facing him and reached out a hand to caress his cheek. "I think I am the luckiest girl in the whole world… in all the worlds… to be traveling with the man who saved the whole universe by giving up his" She told him seriously as she reached up and mussed his already frazzled hair.
"I thought maybe..." he trailed off and took her hand in his. "I was scared you might-
"Leave?" She finished for him, shaking her head, her smile returning to brighten her face. "Don't you get it yet? Come hell or high water, even if hell freezes over, you're stuck with me"
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
"Couldn't think of a better person to be stuck with" he said, finally smiling back at her. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank God for you Rose Tyler" he whispered There was a new light in his eyes now, a happier light. He jumped over her and out of the bed. His step was lighter, springier as he walked to his door. She stood up as well and saunteredover to him.
Won't let
nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let
nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
"Where to now?" he inquired as she slid her hand into his.
"Anywhere"
She breathed as he pulled her from the room. He gave hera
smile that lit up his whole face. "Anywhere with you
Doctor"
A/N- So what do you think? Just a little something that popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. I hope you like it. Please forgive any error in times in his background info, about his home, family etcetera...I'm a newbie to Doctor Who and am going on basic info here...Going to watch the older ones here soon though, then maybe I'll go back and correct anything wrong here...hehe
