I own nothing Harry Potter!
Hey guys, this is just a one shot I wrote a while back and came across again. I figured I'd share it, so here you are...
Why the bloody hell did I ever think Ron would like me back? That was my first mistake. I knew him better than to think he could ever be serious about anything, let alone a friendship that was veering towards changing into something more.
Honestly, I shouldn't have been surprised when I walked in and he was all over Lavender Brown. It shouldn't have surprised me at all, but it did. At the sight of them in the middle of the common room connected at the mouth my heart plummeted, shattering in the process.
Why did I let myself fall for Ron? I should have known better, actually I did, but I ignored it. I could feel my throat tightening as tears welled in my eyes, I turned on my heels and stormed out of the common room.
That was hours ago…
I'd finally gotten my tears under control, but I'm sure my eyes are all red and puffy. I don't care though, it's not like I'm going to see anyone tonight. Harry had been the only one to come looking for me and I'd quickly assured him I was fine and he'd returned to the common room.
I'm currently leaning against the windowsill at the end of the corridor near the library. The grounds below are dark, I don't know how late it is, but I know it's way past curfew. I should be tucked into my four poster sleeping, but I have absolutely no desire to go back to the common room any time soon.
As I stare into the darkness, replaying that moment over and over again in my head I hear soft footsteps approaching from behind me, but I don't turn to see who it is. I don't care who it is, I figure it's either Harry or Ginny coming to drag me back to Gryffindor House.
"Granger?" the familiar voice breaks through my thoughts. I don't respond or turn around. I didn't think this night could get any worse, but the last person who I'd want to see me like this just turned up.
"Granger, are you okay?" his voice comes from a lot closer behind me this time. It sounds like he's concerned, but I know better than to hope for that.
I don't turn around, but I do answer him this time. "I'm fine Malfoy," I intend to sound harsh, but my voice cracks at the end, giving myself away. I bite my lip to try and hold back the tears, Draco Malfoy is the last person who I want to see me crying.
"I'm not buying it, Granger," he says as he comes to a stop next to me, resting against the windowsill as well. He's given me no choice but to look at him. His usually cold grey eyes have warmth in them and his forehead in wrinkled in concern. His usual smirk is absent and his cold exterior has melted, in front of me stands a truly concerned looking Draco Malfoy. Something I'd never thought I'd see.
"You don't have to buy it Malfoy," I shrug, turning to look out the window again. I can still feel his eyes on me, but for some reason it's not uncomfortable. "I just want to be alone," I add when he continues to stand there, even as I say it I know it's not true. I want someone to listen to me while I let everything out, but I'm afraid Malfoy is not the right person for that.
Surprising me, Draco reaches out and gently cups my chin, turning me to face him. My breath hitches at the unexpected contact and I don't push him away. His grey eyes search mine a for a second before he drops his hand and nods. "Okay, I'll leave you alone, but if you want to talk you know where to find me," his voice is sincere and the only thing that stops me from spilling my guts right now is the fact that this Draco before me contradicts everything I'd ever thought about him.
He backs away and turns starting to walk down the corridor, away from me just like I'd asked. I can feel my eyes fill with tears again as I realize I'm letting the one person who's offered to listen to all my problems walk away. In this moment I don't care that it's Draco Malfoy, I just need to talk to someone and he's offering.
"Ron…" I say quietly, my voice only loud enough to reach Draco. I can tell he hears me because he stops in his tracks. "Ron…" I trail off again as Draco turns around and starts to walk back towards me. "He…" I trail off this time as tears start to roll down my cheeks and suddenly I am crying my eyes out again.
Draco doesn't say anything, he just walks to me and pulls me into his arms, allowing me to let go. I bury my face in his chest and wrap my arms around him letting it all out and not caring that it's Draco Malfoy who's holding me in his arms as I break down.
As I cry, Draco rubs comforting circles on my back and runs his hand through my hair as he murmurs reassurances to me. When I finally calm down, I look up at Draco and ask, "Why are you being so nice to me?" I'm sure my eyes are red and puffy and my voice is watery, but at this point I don't care how I look. Draco just witnessed my breakdown, now is no time to worry about appearances.
He reaches up and pushes my hair behind my ear as he answers, "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on once in a while." He lets his fingers graze down the length of my arm as he pulls away.
"Well thanks," I send him a small smile as I look up at this new version of Draco, I like it… a lot.
"You're welcome," Draco smiles an actual smile that has my heart soaring. "So, what did Weasley do to make you cry?" he asks.
"Let's just say he's an arse," I roll my eyes, trying to play it off. I really don't feel like getting into details about what happened tonight and I'm hoping Draco respects that.
"I could have told you that," Draco laughs as he runs a hand through his silky white blonde hair.
"Then why didn't you?" I joke, feeling a million times better than I did before Draco found me. "You would have saved me from crying all over your shirt," I gesture to his damp white shirt.
"I thought it was common knowledge that Weasley's an arse," Draco answers with a teasing shrug, his eyes twinkling in the moonlight.
"No, it's common knowledge that you're an arse, but I'm starting to question that," I tease. What the hell is happening? Am I really having a civil, flirty even, conversation with Draco Malfoy?
"So now you think I'm not an arse?" Draco asks with a raised brow.
"It's still up for debate, but I'm starting to see a sweet caring side," I smile, taking in the guy in front of me. Everything I thought I knew about him seems wrong in this moment, it's clear he cares about how I'm feeling tonight. It's not an act, I'm starting to think the usual front we see is the act.
"Keep that to yourself, I have a reputation to live up to after all," he sends me a wink as he pretends to look around to see if anyone overheard me calling him sweet.
"You're secret's safe with me Draco," I laugh a real laugh, I'm not pretending to be okay anymore.
"Did you just call me Draco?" he asks in mock surprise as he holds his hands to his chest. "Am I no longer Malfoy?" he teases.
"Yes, I just called you Draco, but don't get used to it," I smile.
"There's hope for us yet, Hermione!" Draco says excitedly, pulling an overly enthusiastic face.
"What are you talking about Malfoy?" I ask with a laugh, sending him a look that says I think he's crazy. Maybe he is, that would explain a lot about his behavior tonight.
"There's hope that we can be friends Hermione," Draco says with a playful wink. I have to admit, I really like this side of Draco.
"Don't kid yourself Malfoy," I laugh with a roll of my eyes.
"I'm not," Draco smiles before turning serious again. "Are you okay now, Hermione?" he asks as he reaches out and brushes my hair behind my ear again. His eyes search mine, looking for the answer.
"I am, Draco," I nod. "Thank you," I whisper, unsure of how to show how grateful I am for what he did tonight.
"You're welcome, Hermione," Draco sends me one of his genuine smiles. I love the way it looks on his usually neutral face. "So, should I leave you alone to stare out the window some more?" Draco asks with a tilt of his head, something in his eyes seems hopeful.
"Actually, if you've got nothing going on, would you mind keeping me company? I don't really want to go back to Gryffindor yet," I say, looking up at him through my lashes. I'm afraid he'll say no, I'm not sure why, but I really want him to say yes. I really want to spend more time with him, he was able to cheer me up so quickly tonight when Harry couldn't.
Draco sends me a huge smile as he grabs my hand in his. "I know just the place." He pulls me after him as he starts down the corridor, I go along willingly with a laugh. How did I go from crying to laughing so quickly? The answer is Draco Malfoy and that scares the hell out of me. What does this mean?
I don't have anymore time to question it as Draco pulls me into the little sitting room off of the Great Hall. "Do you do this often?" I ask with a laugh at Draco's familiarity with the castle at night.
"Do what?" he asks as he leads me over to the couch in the middle of the room.
"Roam the castle at night," I answer as I take a seat on the couch and Draco sits next to me.
"From time to time," Draco says vaguely with a shrug as he runs a hand through his hair.
"You know what, that doesn't surprise me," I laugh at the thought of Draco roaming the castle at night. It seems exactly like something he would do.
Draco just sends me one of his usual smirks and we sit there in silence. As his grey eyes search mine I have the sudden desire to tell him what happened tonight. For some odd reason I want him to reassure me that all guys aren't like Ron.
I break eye contact as I look down at where my fingers are fooling with a loose string on my skirt. "Do you really want to know what happened tonight?" I ask quietly, looking up at Draco through my lashes.
"Only if you want to tell me," he answers as he leans back and studies me with his sparkling eyes.
I just nod and start into my story, I want to get it out there and see what Draco's view on it is. "So, I've kind of had a crush on Ron for a while now and he's completely clueless," I hear myself admit as I feel the heat creep into my cheeks. Draco just watches me, not saying a word. "I thought maybe he'd get all of the signals I'd been sending him and feel the same way, but when I saw him snogging Lavender Brown tonight I finally came to my senses," I finish with a shrug. For some odd reason I have the feeling that Draco won't judge me for how I'm feeling and I'm right.
"Well, that's his loss," Draco smiles down at me. "You deserve better than him Hermione," his last words catch me off guard.
"Better, as in you?" I ask playfully with a raised brow. I figure it's better to play this off in a flirty/teasing manner than to go all emotional. I've had enough with emotions for the night. I've cried so much that I don't think I'd have any tears left to cry even if I wanted to, which I don't.
Draco smirks and shakes his head. "No, you deserve way better than me. I'd be terrible for you," he says, his tone serious. He runs a hand through his hair and his face darkens for a second before returning to how it was.
"I think you're selling yourself short," I say, my eyes searching his. I don't know how this conversation turned to being about the two of us together so quickly, but I don't mind. It surprises me that I actually like the idea of Draco and I together, as friends at the very least. If this is the real Draco, I want to get to know him better. I like this side of Draco.
"I'm not," he shakes his head, his face shifting again. "I'd end up hurting you in the end, it's what I always do," he says quietly running a hand through his blonde hair again in what appears to be frustration.
"I can take care of myself," I answer, without thinking. I'm not sure why I'm pushing to get Draco to believe we'd be good together, but I am.
"Trust me, I know that," he says with a smirk. "I was on the receiving end of that punch in third year, remember?" his voice is back to teasing and his grey eyes are once again sparkling.
"I remember," I laugh as I remember the moment I'd punched Draco in the face in third year. I was surprisingly proud of that moment. "Sorry about that," I smile, not completely meaning it.
"Don't apologize, I deserved it," Draco laughs a laugh that has my stomach flipping in excitement.
"What is this? Draco Malfoy admitting something?" I gasp in mock surprise as I pull my hands to my mouth.
"There's a first time for everything," Draco shrugs and slides a little closer to me on the couch so he can reach out and brush my hair out of my face. His hand lingers on my cheek and I lean into it. "Don't get used to it though, Granger," he playfully winks at me.
"Oh, trust me, I won't," I laugh as I shove him gently.
"Did you every think we'd end up having a conversation like this?" Draco asks after a second of silence.
"Not at all, but I'm enjoying it," I smile, knowing my words are the truth.
"So am I," Draco smiles and leans back into the couch, his hands behind his head.
We sit there and talk for a while longer, reminiscing about all of those moments in the past few years where we've been at each other's throats. Eventually we drift to other topics and I find myself laughing at almost everything Draco says. Who would have ever thought that a few hours ago when I was crying over Ron that Draco would be the one to cheer me up? Who would have thought that Draco and I would actually get along when we let down our guards? Who would have thought that every time Draco smiled at me or touched me that I'd get butterflies in my stomach? Definitely not me.
When the clock in the room strikes four in the morning we finally come down from the clouds we've been hiding in. "I guess I should get back to Gryffindor," I say reluctantly. I really don't want to go back and end this moment, but I know it needs to end sooner or later.
"You're right," Draco nods and pulls back from the place where he was sitting close enough that I could see the different colored flecks in his eyes. I hadn't realized we'd gotten so close until he was pulling away. "I'll walk you back to Gryffindor," Draco says as he stands and stretches out before extending his hand to me. I grab it and let him pull me up, loving the moment when our chest touch, but I pull away quickly.
"You don't have to do that," I brush off his offer, not wanting to get my hopes up that tonight actually meant something.
"I want to," Draco answers, putting any of my protests to an end.
We walk hand in hand through the dark castle until we reach Gryffindor's entrance. When we get there we stop and I turn to face him. "Thank you for tonight Draco," I smile up at him, not sure how to express how grateful I am that he was there for me. He'd put all of our past aside and helped me when I needed someone to help pull me through.
"You're welcome, Granger," he murmurs as he brushes my hair aside again and for a second I think he's going to kiss me, but he shakes his head slightly and pulls back. "I'll see you around," he nods as he backs away. "If you need me you know where to find me," are his last words before he walks into the darkness. I let out a sigh when he is gone and curse myself for getting my hopes up. Draco was there for me when I need someone the most, but there was no way he wanted anything more from me.
As I lay in bed that night…or morning as it was, I ran over everything that had happened in the last few hours. When I'd needed someone the most, Draco was the one who was there, the one I opened up to. He was nothing like I thought he was, he was someone that I could get along with and talk to. He was there to carry me when I needed him and I knew that some day I'd pay him back and be there for him.
In the weeks that follow that late night in the corridor with Draco, I can't stop thinking about him. It's like something is pulling me to him, making me watch him. If I hadn't felt the need to watch him, I wouldn't have noticed the changes.
It looks like something is bothering Draco, draining him of his energy. Over the last few weeks something has shifted in him and not only are his actions changing, but so is his appearance. I've noticed he's shorter with people than usual, his quick wit is gone, he seems on the verge of falling over the cliff into some sort of downward spiral. His usual put together appearance is now disheveled. His silky white blonde hair has lost its luster. His already pale skin seems sickly, there are circles under his eyes like he hasn't slept in weeks and his eyes have lost their sparkle.
Something is bothering Draco and I feel the need to help him like he helped me. That's how I find myself searching the building for him, hoping to find him and offer my support. The only problem is no matter how hard I look, it's like he's just disappeared.
Just when I've given up my search and decide to retreat to the library to get some work done, I turn the corner and run smack into someone. I steady myself by grabbing onto their upper arms. "Watch where you're going, Granger," Draco's voice breaks through my thoughts.
I look up and find myself face to face with the person I was looking for. Close up Draco looks even worse than he does across the Great Hall or classroom. His eyes are red and bloodshot, his cheeks are sallow, and something seems to be weighing on him. "Draco, are you okay?" I ask, my voice full of concern as I search his lifeless eyes.
"I'm fine, Granger," he snaps and backs away from me. The look on his face makes him look like a trapped animal.
"I'm not buying it, Draco," I use the same words he used with me all those weeks ago.
"I don't care if you are, Granger. It's none of your bloody business how I am," his voice is full of anger, but it lacks the conviction I'd expect. It's like he's even too exhausted and weighed down to tell me off properly. With those words he turns around and walks back the way he came, away from me.
"Draco," I call after him, not letting myself feel hurt that he doesn't want to confide in me.
He turns around and faces me, but he doesn't say anything. I make eye contact as I say, "If you want to talk about it, you know where to find me." My words are the exact same as what he'd said to me, I hope he takes me up on the offer.
Draco doesn't say anything, but his face seems to soften for a moment and he nods before turning on his heels and moving down the hall. I smile to myself, knowing that now Draco knows I'm here for him if he needs to talk. I'm not sure if he'll take me up on the offer or not, only time will tell.
I'm lying in bed later that night when I hear a tapping on the window. I look up and see a small grey owl sitting on the window's ledge. I slide out of bed and quickly make my way over to the window and open it, being sure not to wake any of the other girls in the room. I gently untie the letter from the owl's leg and he flies off into the darkness of the night.
Closing the window, I make my way back over to my bed and grab my wand. I open the parchment and read by wand light, the three words on the paper tell me all I need to know.
I need you. –D
Draco needed me and that's all I needed to hear to jump into action. I quickly pull on an oversized hoodie over my cami and sleep pants, grab a pair of slipper boots and make my way out of the dorm. I don't care what I look like right now, Draco needs me and that's all that matters.
I rush through the dark halls of the castle, not knowing where I'm going until I'm there. Draco didn't say where he was, but apparently my mind had the answer. I opened the door to the sitting room near the Great Hall, the one we'd gone to when Draco consoled me, and slide into the room. There sitting on the couch is Draco. He's still in his uniform, his tie loosened and his shirt untucked. His hair is disheveled from running his hands through it so many times and he's hunched over with his head in his hands.
I quickly make my way over to the couch and sit next to Draco. Without a word, I wrap my arms around him and he lays his head on my shoulder. I can feel his body shaking as he silently cries and I just hold him trying to comfort him.
"It's going to be okay, whatever it is," I find myself murmuring as I run my fingers through Draco's silky hair. Up until now I'd only assumed it was silky, now I know for sure it is.
I've never seen Draco this vulnerable before and it worries me. From what I've gathered, he has no one to turn to except me and even though I'm here for him I still feel bad for him. I at least have Harry and Ginny and even Ron to go to if I needed them, but I don't think Draco has the same luxury.
I don't know how much time passes before Draco pulls out of my grip and sits up straight, running a hand through his hair and not meeting my eyes. "What's going on Draco?" I ask as gently as possible, placing a comforting hand on his thigh.
He looks down at my hand and I think maybe I should remove it, but before I get the chance he places his own warm hand over mine. I feel a connection between us in that moment that I haven't felt with anyone before.
Draco sighs and finally meets my eyes, his are red and puffy from crying, but he still is as handsome as ever. "Do you promise that whatever I tell you will not leave this room?" he asks, his grey eyes searching mine.
"Of course," I nod immediately, I have no intentions of spreading any of Draco's secrets around. He didn't tell a soul about the whole ordeal I had with Ron and I'm sure as hell not going to tell anyone about whatever he's about to say.
"Because if the wrong people found out I told you any of this, I'd be in serious trouble," he says, his voice a little shaky. I can tell he's serious, whatever he's involved in is big trouble.
"I won't tell a soul," I promise, trying to convey everything I'm not saying with my eyes.
Draco pulls back his shirt sleeve and reveals the familiar black tattoo, the Dark Mark. "Draco…" I say quietly at the sight. For some reason I'm surprised that he has the Dark Mark, I thought he was different than what everyone thought. I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now at this discovery, but it's not what I'd expect. I'm not afraid or hurt or even disappointed. I feel like there's got to some type of explanation and that's exactly what Draco gives me.
"I didn't have a choice," he says quietly as his eyes meet mine, they are wide like a little kids, unsure of what to do. "I don't want it," he gestures to his forearm. "I don't want to help, but I have no other choice," his voice is pained as he stares at the ground in front of his feet.
I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder as I say, "I'm not going to judge you, Draco. You can tell me whatever you want, but you don't have to tell me anything, either way I'm still here for you." I'm hoping my words are enough to get Draco to open up and talk to me, I have a feeling he needs to talk to someone.
Draco sits there for a second, staring at the floor, when it reaches the point where I think he's not going to talk, he lets out a sigh and runs his hands over his face. "He threatened to kill my Mother if I didn't cooperate," his voice is quiet, but I hear every pained word. "I didn't have a choice, I couldn't call his bluff because we both know it is no bluff. He would actually kill her if I don't go along with the master plan," Draco looks over at me, his grey eyes glassy with unshed tears. "Now I'm stuck, but I can't do anything about it without putting my Mother in even farther danger. She's one of two people I actually care about. She's the only weakness He knows of and He's using it to his advantage," Draco trails off, tugging his hands through his hair in frustration. My heart aches for him, no one should have to be faced with the kind of choices he's been faced with.
"Draco, I am so sorry," I say, as I squeeze his thigh in what I hope is a comforting manner. "I wish there was something I could do to help you," I say quietly.
"I don't want pity, Hermione," Draco turns his eyes back to mine. "I just want someone to help me forget," his voice is quiet, but there is an undertone to it that tells me what he is thinking. He wants me to help him forget about all of this, that I can do.
"Then let me help you forget," I say quietly as I slide over on the couch, closer to him, so I can run my hand down his arm. "Right now it's just you and me, the rest of the world doesn't exist," I say, hoping I would really be able to help him. I would do whatever it took to take that look off of his face and put that sparkle I'd seen a few weeks ago back in his eyes. I didn't want Draco to have to carry this burden alone, if I could help lessen the weight I would do it.
"You do know what I'm asking, right Hermione?" Draco asks slowly, his grey eyes locked on mine, conveying the meaning of his words to me.
"You're asking me to help you forget and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to do just that," I answer, by squeezing his hand.
Draco's eyes search mine, gauging whether I'm serious or not. Apparently he finds what he is looking for because without another seconds hesitation Draco is leaning in, his lips connecting with mine. The instant our lips touch I feel a heat starting to spread through my body, a feeling I've never felt before. Our kiss starts out tentative, but quickly heats up. Draco's hand is tangled in my hair as the other rest on my hip. My hand is cupping his cheek while the other rests against his chest. I feel myself moving closer to him, not that I can get much closer than I currently am. Somehow I find myself straddling Draco on the couch, my chest pressed to his as his hands move down to my waist, pulling me closer still. As our tongue fight in a battle of dominance, I lose myself in Draco. I'm the one who is supposed to be helping him forget, but in the process, he is helping me forget everything that could and will go wrong with this situation. I let myself forget about why this is so wrong and what should be separating us. I forget that he just showed me his Dark Mark, I forget that he has been my enemy since day one at Hogwarts, I forget that Draco and I could never work and I lose myself, letting myself go. The only thing left is Draco and I. We are two completely different people than we have ever been, we have both changed and somehow that has led us to each other in our times of need. Draco was there for me all those weeks ago and now I am here for him.
Never in a million years had I thought I'd ever be letting Draco lay me back on a couch as I slid his unbuttoned shirt from his shoulders, but here I am in the middle of the lounge next to the Great Hall where anyone could walk in on us doing just that. I can tell from the look on Draco's face as he hovers over me that the same things are running through his mind, but just like me he seems to push them away and just let go. We lose ourselves in each other and forget about our pasts as we take this new journey together. Draco helps me forget, I just hope I'm helping him as well.
"Thank you," Draco's voice breaks the silence from his spot next to me where he collapsed after we'd both let ourselves go.
"For what?" I ask as I turn to look at him, running my fingers through his hair. His head is resting on my chest and his arms are wrapped around me. To anyone who would walk in right now we'd look like a couple in love, a couple who'd been together for years. We wouldn't look like a one night stand, but that's exactly what we were.
"Helping me forget, Hermione. You're exactly what I needed," Draco murmurs as he brushes a strand of hair out of my face.
"You're welcome," I smile as I turn to look up at him. That sparkle is back in his grey eyes, if only for a moment. "I'll be here to carry you through whenever you need me," I whisper as I place a soft kiss on his warm inviting lips.
"I will always be here for you as well," Draco smiles down at me. The tone of his voice and look in his eyes tell me he's serious. Over these last few weeks and through out vulnerabilities, Draco and I have formed a bond that will be hard to break. Who knows what the future will hold? The one thing I know without a doubt is something I would have blown off as impossible just two months ago. I knew in my heart that Draco would be there are long as he could to carry me through and I would do the same to him. The question was, would either of us take advantage of this offer in the future? Only time would tell.
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story and I would love to know what you thought about it! Have a great day!