The side of Yukio's fist was bruised purple and red from pounding on the back of the heavy wooden doors that separated the church from the rear adjoining rooms.

There was yelling behind those doors, screaming, a strong force and deathly cold air flowing from under the wooden frames that separated him from his brother. He could tell it was Rin.

"Rin? RIN! What's going on! Rin!" Why was he screaming so loudly? And why wouldn't the doors open?

Like many other times, Yukio knew that the commotion behind the door was too loud to hear a gunshot over, so his instincts made him act. Like a routine, he pulled his colt from his back pocket, sweaty palms gliding into place over the metal he knew well, loaded it with the specially made rounds, aimed and pulled.

And still, the shots were barely audible over the screaming.

Eventually he emptied round after round, staring at the metal of the door handle that wouldn't budge, wouldn't even dent with the force of the demon-piercing, silver bullets he used. Yukio felt like a goat waiting in line for the slaughter house, like what attacking his brother would come for him next…

"!" Yukio yelled back, like the voice on the other side would answer him, emptying his last clip on the door in desperation. Whatever was behind it, whatever force, it was stronger than anything he'd come across so far. It wasn't a mere hobgoblin making his brother scream that way.

No. He'd gone through everything; training, fighting, learning- all of it so he could protect Rin, and he wasn't going to back down the moment he had the chance to show what he was worth.

The door creaked with effort and strain, but he knew it wouldn't budge. With each ram, Yukio was getting weaker, more tired, more exhausted. With his face pressed against the wood he could smell the sulphur through it, could feel the burning cold from the other side. It was like the door was frozen in place, like he wasn't allowed to enter, like he wasn't allowed to be where he wanted to be most…

I'm scared. I don't want to see scary things anymore…

His shoulder hit the door harder.

I don't ever want to live in fear of the darkness again.

Harder.

I will protect my brother in Father's stead.

Harder.

"RIIIIIIIIN!"

"Yu-ki-o~"

In ten years' time, your brother will witness something far more frightening.

"Yu-ki-o~. What were you doing causing such a commotion? Come. Give your big brother a hug!"

Distortion. Before he knew it, Yukio was on the other side of the door, whether or not from the force of his blows or simply because the force that had blocked him from entering had melted away he didn't know. But standing there in front of his brother licked in blue flames, fear grasped his knees and held him steady, and regret and terror flooded his veins. Rin's voice was distorted, his ears pointed and teeth sharp. His gums were bared as he smiled, adding to his feral, carnivorous appearance. His nails were black and pointed, like blood stained razors, and the smell about him was acrid with decay. Blood dripped from the corners of his eyes, from his nose, and hair that was normally such a deep intriguing blue burned with blinding, turquoise flames.

"Yu-ki-o~"

Rin.

Yukio watched as his older brother stepped closer, fear still rooting him to where he stood. He watched as Rin drew the sword Shiro had never let him see, had never let him touch even after he'd achieved the Middle First Class exorcist rank. In Rin's hands it burned blue; the metal of the blade absolutely blinding in the power it drew from Gehenna.

"YUKIO!"

Yukio's attention was drawn back up to the speaker. He watched as the wielder of the Kurikara raised the weapon higher over his shoulder as he stepped closer. He tried to speak, tried to mutter some chant, anychant against this terrifying force but his lips were sealed with terror.

"I've decided I no longer need a brother."

Yukio wanted to scream at that point, to cry, but nothing would come. Even at the last moment, he wouldn't be able to say anything against Rin, against his brother, against Satan-

"Thanks. It's been fun~"

-o-

"Haaaaaaa..."

Yukio sat up and rubbed his face, his body drenched in a cold sweat as he shook off the lingering sensation of burning ice slicing through his body from his dream. He panted to regain control of his breathing, his heart racing, and ears ringing with his own cry.

Had he screamed? Had he woken Rin? He rubbed his eyes, his vision blurry, and pressed his fingers into his eye sockets to try and rid his mind of that last lingering image of his brother consumed in flames and taken over by Satan.

After another moment, he let out one more long drawn out breath and slid out from under his sheets. The floorboards on the soles of his feet burned a little with the cold and Yukio rubbed his arms as he left for a glass of water from the cafeteria kitchens after picking up his glasses. "Ridiculous." he murmured to himself. Why would he be afraid of Rin? He wasn't any stronger now than he was when he was unaware of his power and of what he was, of what they were.

He wasn't scared.

He couldn't be scared.

When he returned to the room, Yukio was calmer, his mind clear. The night was chilling, but it wasn't so unnerving anymore.

"Mngh-.. Hahn..."

Confused, the younger Okumura glanced over at his brother as he tossed and turned on his own bunk. Yukio continued to watch when Rin began to snarl. "Hng-.. Mnnn-.. Yu-..kio..."

Rin bared his teeth and fangs, and his brow furrowed. Concerned, Yukio carefully dropped into a seat beside him on the bed so as not to wake him, though Rin probably wanted to be woken at that point.

"I guess even you have nightmares, brother."

"HELP ME!"

Why was no one coming?

"Somebody! HELP MEEEE!"

Satan's laughter filled the room and as Shiro collapsed into the black, writhing, polluted mass underneath them, hands came up to grab and yank the old man under the surface.

…Into the darkness of Gehenna.

There was nothing after that. Nothing but faceless hands yanking at his clothes, his hair, his body… Rin was going to be dragged into Hell and no one was going to save him. Shiro was-… He was dead. Then Rin saw what could help, what might help… So he would become a demon? So he would never be human again? It was a small price to pay for living.

Rin struggled to reach for the Kurikara, the hands pulling him back, each tug more desperate to draw him in and against each tug, he resisted even harder. Finally his fingers brushed the hilt, and with the strength he'd been so cursed with, Rin drew the sword.

In an instant he was covered in flames so hot they were burning blue and white. He couldn't see anything past the light, and his body seemed to burn cold as he held tightly onto the sword.

But this time, something was wrong...

"Well done, my boy!" Praised a voice that wasn't Shiro's. "You've returned to being a demon! You've regained your power!"

No.

"Now you've become a perfect vessel!"

No!

"Well done~."

And just like that, his body went from being burned by ice to being frozen by fire. His eyes went wide, and as he struggled, he could feel something liquid, something crimson staining drip down his face. From his nose, from his eyes and ears- ears that were now pointed, from a mouth that was now snarling, rabid and open with teeth that bore more resemblance to a canine's than a man's.

"Ha- Haha! HAHAHAHAHA!"

That voice didn't belong to him. It was distorted.

"This is perfect. PERFECT! Now Assiah will be ours Rin! Aren't you happy? Aren't you excited?"

No. No. There were still people to protect, people he loved- people he wouldn't let be taken from him. He couldn't let this happen.

"RIIIIIIIIN!"

Yukio?

Ah. Right on time.

Rin was terrified. Those weren't his thoughts. "Yu-ki-o~." And those weren't his words. He had no control. His body was shaking in the blue flames that emanated from it and Rin hoped his brother would see.

Would see that he wasn't in control and run.

"Yu-ki-o~. What were you doing causing such a commotion? Come. Give your big brother a hug!"

He was starting to get desperate. He tried to force his hand open, tried to force open his fingers to release the Kurikara but they wouldn't budge. And then he was stepping forward when he didn't want to, his footprints leaving scorching marks on the floor of the church they were raised in.

"Yu-ki-o~"

Why did Yukio have a gun? Since when did he know how to use one? Where did it come from? And why couldn't he stop himself? Rin tried desperately to gain control of his limbs, but he couldn't even find the strength to look away from his brother's face. He didn't think he would ever be able to forget the fear etched in that face, the fear and the anger.

"YUKIO!"

Oh please. Run. Rin repeated in his mind over and over but there was no use, he wasn't himself.

He was 'Satan', and he was raising his sword at his own brother.

"I've decided I no longer need a brother."

Rin froze for a moment as he watched the look of terror pass his brother's face. Yukio's eyes were wide, like they had been many times throughout their childhood, wide with fear, with the need for self-preservation, but being unable to do so himself. No. Rin was meant to protect him! Meant to make sure that he never felt that way again! Yukio! No I don't mean it. I need you! I can't- I can't!

"Thanks. It's been fun~"

-o-

"Mng- Y-Yuki… Yukio!"

A careful hand ran through his hair that soothed him from his tumultuous sleep. "I'm here. Calm down."

Rin awoke in a cold sweat, his muscles cramping from how tense they'd become in his sleep. His eyes snapped open and he caught his breath, ragged and cold. His body was moist with sweat, and tears pricked his eyes from the cries he thought he'd let out as he jerked himself awake. "Yukio?"

Yukio was sitting beside him, calm and serene, as well composed as ever, and as in control as ever. He smiled a little at his younger brother and let out an over exaggerated sigh. "I guess I was pretty loud. Sorry for waking you. But in my defence, you snore pretty loudly too!"

When Yukio didn't look amused, Rin only sighed and turned onto his side, back facing the other. "I'm fiiiiine. Sheesh! It was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep! I promise not to make any more noise!"

"I had a nightmare too."

Rin stopped then, and turned back to his brother, frowning slightly as he sat up against the bed head. "You too huh?"

Yukio scratched his head and nodded. Rin watched as the other kicked off his slippers, and slid closer to the wall, making room for his brother on his bunk. "You know we're too old for this. And I'm all sweaty."

"I know."

Rin sighed loudly before he slid back under the covers with his brother, pulling the sheet over them both. He watched as Yukio curled up next to him, hiding his face against his chest like he used to when they were younger. It was almost sweet to see that nothing between them had changed since then, that Yukio still acted the same around him. But everything had changed.

"I will get stronger." Rin heard Yukio mutter after a while, his voice husky and slow with sleep. The older brother merely shook his head and sighed again, wrapping his arms around Yukio's shoulders so he could stroke his back. He wondered if Yukio knew how his words echoed his own thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah. Be quiet now." He said eventually, closing his eyes so he could settle back into what he hoped would be a dreamless sleep.

"It was only a nightmare."

AN: A belaaaaated birthday present to my dear daughter Nai~ 3 Sorry it took so late, and I know it's not really what you asked for but I hope you enjoyed it anyway.

Getting back into it people. Slowly. Veeeery slowly. R&R appreciated!