They sent me off to the academy when the orphanage realizes I was always playing with fire, without having any matches on me. The school didn't interest me at all. I burnt all the books given to me and let the ashes from the paper be taken by the winds. Children were scared of getting hurt by the fire or just burned by me. Some were stupid enough to try and touch me. I set myself ablaze and embrace the one boy slow enough not able to run from me. I was unhurt. He had trouble breathing for the end of his days.
The stupid orphanage minders tried withholding food from me and I destroyed a whole month's worth of wares. Nobody found out what happened to all that food. They didn't find even ashes, I made sure. The next time they did the same thing was also the last. For two months everyone goes hungry. The Hokage is displeased and replaced the matron with an older, more kind and very much blind woman. She loved me.
I stay as the bottom most student in my year class. The only thing that helps me stay in the class is my elemental manipulation. It was way and above even some jounins, I'm told. It could burn anything I wanted, as long as I could see the fire. What people didn't know I could even burn things I couldn't see. This became useful when I was in need of an alibi. Once atop the monument I think I saw the flames of a house burning down. I don't know if I started it or if it was something else. Only reason I'm not sure is because nobody asked me if I was the one who started it. The second one was all me though.
Funnily enough there was one person who wanted to be friends with me because of my whole fire thing. Not in spite of it. Uchiha had always been an idiot in my opinion. Book smart and all yes, but not a single original thought in the pretty head of his. Obsessed with the form of revenge the brother he says he is going to kill offered to him. Clearly the better form would have been just plain ignoring the bastard. Anyway, I burned the district down when we were 'training' the fire ball he was so stupidly proud of. Of course I said it was all an accident. Though if I'd tried doing the whole "not burning the district down"-thing seriously, we wouldn't have been practicing the grand fire ball in the hottest day of the year, inside a house that hadn't been cleaned in years.
At least the Hokage and his goons found that underground shrine that way. Much help that did though. That and the Uchiha decided giving me silent treatment was enough of a punishment for a couple of weeks until he came back crawling for my awesome fire magic. I faked being hurt by his justified anger at me and used it as an excuse not to speak with the idiot as long as we were still in Konoha.
It was during this time I thought to experiment on plain old chakra. Not fire made out of chakra. But chakra that was made out of fire. It's hard to explain, but the bottom line was I was interested in the Kyuubi's corrosive chakra. I'd been thinking of new forms of burning, when Uzumaki made a show of himself and I figure "why not".
It was fun the few months we were friends. It taught me all sorts of interesting things. Like how to get a rise out of the bastard and how the Kyuubi's chakra didn't need to destroy any skin or cloth for it to be a real bitch to heal. I was in hospital intensive care for half a year and even at the end of it I still managed to pass to the last grade of academy. For my relief Uzumaki didn't come and try to see me while I was in there.
After all that I got myself a bit of a reputation taking down some up and coming chuunin by accident. I think the village reasoned to itself something along the lines of not mattering if the next miracle child didn't know how to read kanji, as long as he knew how to kill as fast as I could.
I was however transferred to this special program called Root. For the first time in years I was in my absolute and best behavior. Didn't want them fucking me over, for reasons such as fucking them over, or having fun. The crippled bastard didn't seem pleased with my efforts. He didn't seem displeased either, so I guess I was doing fine.
I did try burning the seal on the tongue off, but I don't know how that one went. I only know for sure that I managed to burn my tongue like that and that the burn marks remain.
On the month leading to the Konoha Chuunin exams I made sure my four man root team disappeared without a trace and I took off to who knows to where. I ended with the Akatsuki for a while. Asked the Uchiha if he could show me the Amaterasu of his. He refused. I asked the other Uchiha if he could show me his Amaterasu. Obitobi was quiet for a second and tried laughing it all off. I did end up laughing at him what a useless waste of space he was when he told me he couldn't do the jutsu. Had the wrong eye for it he tried explaining. I just laughed.
He tried killing me few days later though. Not for the Amaterasu thing, but for an off handed comment about Rin that I'd managed to slide into the conversation.
I decided on finding Orochimaru since by then I'd heard rumors about him having Sasuke on him. Came too late for the party, but I did manage to catch up by the time Sasuke had managed to assembled Team seven mk 2. I told him he was an idiot. He denied everything. I asked to see the Amaterasu and he told me if I hung around then I might get to have a look at it. I really had nothing better to do so I did.
I did get to see the whole Uchiha brothers showdown, even if it was at a distance. Still no idea how the Amaterasu worked though. Kept pestering Obitobi when he was healing on how did Amaterasu work. He ignored me. So as a retribution I told Sasuke about the part Obitobi had on the whole massacre thing. In the end I lost a leg. Only thing that saved me was Sasuke screaming about vengeance and shit at the asshat. I left the team seven point two and headed to Konoha. I guess I was feeling homesick.
The homesickness was nicely cured on my way to there when I decided to torch up the capital instead. For the first time there truly was no one to stop me. Konoha had thought it smart to call in all half adequate shinobi after the Pain attack. I watched as the old buildings crumbled under their own weight and as people kept screaming down in the streets as my pretty magical fire kept chasing them down. Lots of people made it out of there, sure, but I was never going for the whole hundred percent fatality rate in the first place. Sixty or so percent was more than good enough. Did make sure to melt the Daimyo's palace though.
This time Obitobi came to me and told me to follow him. I asked if he was still mad at me, when he was making me a fancy new leg out of Shodaime's freaky tree stuff. He said he needed all the help for the war. I wasn't feeling it. That was until Uzumaki tried talking to me and I figured it'd be fun taking part in the cluster fuck after all, if only just to spite him.
It wasn't fun at all. Got stupidly overwhelmed by the sheer numbers the alliance had and I didn't even get to see anyone important, until getting sucker punched by the Mizukage and her stupidly overpowered water techniques. But apparently someone really loved me up there and I managed a win with little help from this one guy called Madara. Offed all the Kages, because fuck those guys.
I stayed the hell away from the actual final battle, though. Ran away as fast as I could from there. In the end I chose correctly. The moon never went red or anything and I lived to tell the tale as the new most wanted person on the whole continent after burning down Konoha and all the people in there who didn't feel like taking part in the ultimate showdown. Had a nice time at Suna, but Kiri just didn't want to start off for some reason.
In the end, when Uzumaki asked me with his big buggy blue eyes why I did everything I did all I said was.
"Wouldn't you want to know?"
Got me a face full of rasengan that one did.
AN/ I don't even know
