Chapter One.
Looks Like Pants, wears like Pants...
It started in the Middleton Medical Center, when Dr. Possible had just gotten out of an exhausting shift. She had a quick douche... It was wonderful to wash away a day's sweat and worries... A change of clothes, and she would be ready to go home. After changing, she noticed the how empty the bathrooms were... "Too late for those in my shift, too early for those in the next" she concluded. Enjoying the feeeling of privacy, she stopped a bit looking at her reflection on the metalized wall."Not bad for a 37 year old woman... " . From behind her, in the shadows, a dark-clad arm advanced holding an implement much like tuning fork. Dr. Possible almost turned before being touched by the fork. Almost. Instantly she stopped, as if frozen. A moment later, Dr. Possible was falling limp, only to be caught by her attacker, and then gently lowered to the floor... The dark shape took a metallic syringe-like object from a fold in her clothes, and stuck in Dr. Possible's side. The unconscious woman moaned softly. The dark-clad attacker made the the object disappear in her pocket. Then, she dragged Dr. Possible in a sitting position, over a plastic bench, near the mirror. The ninja-like suit was then reversed, and partially folded. leaving its wearer looking like a nurse. The disguised intruder left. Minutes later, Dr. Possible awakened. She felt confused. She had no memory of going to sleep... She decided that she had conked out from sheer fatigue. "Perhaps I should agree with James Timothy about his project of vacations by the sea", thought her...
A month later...
"Wade, what is the sitch", asked Kim when the kimmunicator beeped. She did it, however with the uneasy feeling she already knew, more or less, what was the problem. The uber-thief dubbed by the press "The Jumping Burglar" had stricken nearly every night, since he had started. about a week ago. Usually Kim would be even enthusiastic at pursuing a super-criminal, but this JB (as Ron started referring to him) was a frustrating quarry indeed. He could jump seven meters straight up, and was seemingly impervious to fatigue. He had an infuriating tendency to let Kim get very near, only to outdistance the acrobatic teen as if she was frozen. Kim had already managed to nail him with a dart from a Wade-supplied dart gun. If he were a syntho-drone he would have leaked his guts and melted, were he human, he would have fallen asleep on the spot. JB did neither, just plucked out the dart and went on. No blood, not even a red spot. It was like shooting a dart at a styrofoam doll. Then there were the guy's acrobatics... So far as gymnastics were concerned, JB (seemingly) could do anything Kim could, and more. That ruled out robots, according to Wade - there was no technology on the world to make a robot who could do that. Even the beebes were far from achieving that flexibility and precision. On the other hand, JB did seem clownish, with his fixed, goofy. grin on his face and his quasi-infantile exuberance. Only the fact that the stolen objects were undoubtedly items of Power, the kind of thing that "can't be allowed, in absolutely any circumstances, to fall in the wrong hands" justified sending Kim Possible against him. That, and the fact that conventional police seemed utterly helpless to arrest him. "The Jumping Burglar", said Wade, somewhat more enthusiastic than the predictability of the announcement granted..."This is SOoo not a surprise..." - Said Kim, rolling her eyes up, calling for her reserves of patience.
"Yes, but you'd never guess where he is attacking now!", replied Wade, triumphant. "Some secret plant somewhere? A secret lab? The Fort knox? " Guessed Kim, with her best "lets be patient" face, upturned eyes... "All wrong", replied Wade, "He is attacking the Club Banana!" Kim's eyes goggled. " Ridiculous!" -thought Kim, surprised- "What on Earth could someone interested in items of power want to acquire in the "Club Banana?" No power there... Only clothes. But Kim had long learned not to expect rational behaviour from villains. Besides, some plans were truly complicated. Take, for instance, Draken's scheme with the Diablos. There was no way for her to guess beforehand what did Draken want with the president of a toy company. So... Better go in and find out!
When Kim and Ron entered the store, found a scene of pure chaos. The store personnel was lying around, stunned by gas-emitting adhesive pellets. Monique herself was unconscious, her body slumped sideways over the counter, her hand still grasping the phone, two gas pellets adhering to her collar, one to her chest. The Jumping Burglar was bouncing around, ruining the merchandise, throwing paint pellets at random and howling with delight, his ever-present smile even wider than the usual. Without losing any time, Kim jumped into pursuit, bouncing up and down herself in her own unmistakable style. When she got near, he suddenly reversed course and gave her the slip, swinging on a fixture near a skylight. Kim, seeing how near the JB was to an escape route, made a desperate jump at him. At the very last moment, however, the mysterious JB turned and shot a paint pellet on her chest. The compressed gas explosion didn't harm her, of course, but confused her for a moment, and the resulting cloud of paint droplets blinded her for a moment more. When Kim took her bearings, she saw that Ron must have tried to use the moment JB was occupied with her to get the drop on the Burglar, but he had been stunned with a gas pellet like those used on the salespeople. Unlike them, he had not been (totally) taken by surprise, so he had not taken the full effects of the Burglar's weapon. Nonetheless, he was stunned, shaking his head and coughing...
That night's trip home had all the enthusiasm of the Moscow retreat. Kim didn't even want to think about the jokes the tweebs would make about her ruined clothes. The only time she felt angrier at a supervillain was when Dr. Draken revealed he had created "Eric" to woo her. It didn't even occur to her to use her battle suit. No way. Against the jumping Burglar, speed - not defense - was critical.
The next day, however, Kim awoke to a pleasant surprise. It seemed that the Club Banana had sent her two pairs of pants in her size and style. The accompanying card explained that Club Banana Inc. was most grateful for her help repealing the vandal, last night. Well, usually Kim would accept no rewards, but she reasoned that shedid accept favors of those grateful by her help, if the favors helped in performing her missions, and her pants had been ruined in helping Club Banana, and she certainly lacked funds to replace her "mission" outfits every week. So, in a sense, Club Banana was only helping her continue with the "hero" work, by reimbursing her of her losses. Specially considering that by then she had lost all her Club Banana pants. For some reason, she had been very unlucky with Club Banana pants this last months, culminating with the paint pellet incident... Now she had been down to her last good pair of CB pants (and that had been ruined by the Burglar). There were some more, but those were soooo "new no longer...". She felt immensely grateful for the so-timely generosity of Club Banana...
Two days later, early in the evening, the familiar four note melody sounded, and a tired Kim got her eyes off her homework, and picked up her Kimmunicator. "Wade, what is the sitch? ", asked her.
"Good news, Kim! I was informed that Warehouse 25 b, riverside avenue is being burgled by our Jumping friend!" A map appeared on the kimmunicator "See that it is almost between your home and Ron's, but much nearer to Ron's home, so it is better that he meets you a block or two from the warehouse." A triangle appeared on the map, its sides connecting Kim's, Ron's and the warehouse. Kim could see that the smallest side of the triangle connected Ron's with the warehouse 25, while the largest connected Kim's with Ron's. A dot marked the meetpoint, about half a block from the W25. "I have a taxi for you. Ron will go on his scooter..."
"But that machine is so noisy... We will lose element surprise."
Complained Kim.
"Don't worry. He will just go that way to meet point, and that place is far enough. I have already warned him."
"Okay, then." Said Kim, still sounding somewhat unsure...
Meanwhile, a rather nervous Ron drove his scooter to the warehouse district. Everything seemed so empty on the street that it seemed impossible for a robbery. or a session of vandalism in the JB style... It seemed that any stronger noise would attract everybody in the city... The atmosphere distracted him, making it all the more shocking when, on the desert street, he saw a young girl being callously run over by a truck, just as he waited for the traffic light to go green. Thinking solely of offering help, Ron ran to the blonde lying on the street, her shirt torn and red-smeared... She looked to be twenty, built like a dancer, and was mumbling something as Ron kneeled by her side, his fingers taking his cellphone from his pocket, ready to call an ambulance. Before he could say anything, before even that he pressed the first digit, the "victim" suddenly attacked him with a spray canister. It was so sudden and so unexpected that Ron breathed a lungful of the ko gas he was sprayed with. He had a coughing fit, and dropped on the street, trying to resist.. and then relaxed, out like a light. Out of the attacker's view, a small body tried to get out of Ron's pocket, only to take in a small fraction of the gas cloud and fall back unconscious, inside the pocket. Smiling mischievously, the treacherous blond girl turned off Ron's cellphone, then dragged her victim to the sidewalk, near a pile of apparently discarded cardboard boxes, where she applied a small adhesive patch to his neck. Taking a burlap bag from one of the boxes, she wrapped the sleeping teen up to the neck, and pulled him behind the pile. Satisfied that nobody saw her do it, the blond discarded her red smeared shirt, changing to one that had been concealed in the pile, and went away...
Kim arrived at meetpoint only to be warned by Wade that Ron had stopped on the way to Warehouse25, and was not answering to his cellphone. Maybe if Kim were no so irritated by the Burglar, she might be more concerned about Ron. But Ron's scooter was prone to malfunction on the worst moments, and Ron himself was also prone to forget his cellphone turned off at the worst times. Kim sighed and decided to attack on her own. She used the fire-escape to get to the Warehouse's ceiling, fixed her hooked cable to the skylight, and spied down to see the "sitch". The inside of the warehouse wasn't well-lit, but neither was it dark. She could see someone dressed like security guard, lying on the floor, chest and neck marked by two white spots, presumably two of those adhesive gas pellets. As for the Burglar himself , he seemed to be attacked by a madness similar to what had got on him during the attack on Club Banana. He was jumping up and down, bouncing from the walls and throwing paint pellets everywhere... All the while howling like mad. Kim didn't wait for invitation: She jumped right in, swinging on her cable, and closing on the Burglar like a hawk. Out of Kim's sight, the "security guard" got up with surprising ease, and began watching the evolutions of the teen hero and the Burglar. She watched a wildly acrobatic pursuit, all over the enormous warehouse, that resulted in Kim getting the Burglar cornered behind some crates misaligned on the far north corner...
Taking the opportunity offered by the pause in the fight, the "security guard" pressed a button on her watch - Half a second later, Kim's prized cargo pants were a soggy, sticky brown gum. Kim looked down in horror and shame, instantly blushing Crimson. "There was no opening for him to shoot anything at me... How could he do it?" - and then - "Thank Heavens," said Kim within her mind "there is no one in the warehouse but me, the stunned security guard, and this sneaky jumping burglar (that I don't think is really human)... Losing my my pants... Like on the alligator incident... and for the second time in a week! Nobody deserves! ". Tenths of second later, she understood that the situation went far beyond simple humiliation and inconvenience - The brown sticky mass covering her legs was frothing and releasing a strong, sweet and yet sharp perfume... So much like tutti-fruti ... She felt her head swim and her legs grow weak... "This is a trap... An attempt to drug me", she realized... True hero that she was, she didn't give up, but took a discarded piece of cardboard from a crate and tried desperately to clean herself... But the sticky bubblegum-like mess just wouldn't quit, and the more she tried to scrap it, the more the cloying perfumed vapors intensified. She called for the security guard - Kim could see she had somehow already awakened - to help her, but the guard just kept her distance. Annoyed, Kim tried to scrap the sticky mass on the rough wooden packaging crates, but her strength was almost all gone. She stumbled on the way to the nearest crate and fell to the floor. She was desperately trying to get up, when the tall security guard finally came to her. Instead of trying to help her up, or help cleaning her, however, the guard watched until Kim stopped trying to get up, then kneeled by her side, cradling the ruddy head on her lap, while caressing Kim's hair like one would a child's. A few seconds later, when it was evident Kim had passed out, the guard took an adhesive patch off her breast pocket and applied it to the sleeping teen's neck. A whisper: "This will keep you asleep, dear..." Then, she put two fingers to her mouth and whistled sharply.
Promptly, the Burglar came bouncing from his hideout, a goofy smile on his face. "Procedure c-1", she instructed, and the Burglar obeyed without question, opening a crate, taking a white plastic from inside and spreading it evenly on the floor. Gently, the guard lifted Kim, and laid her over the sheet. After that, as the Burglar took a big soft brush from the crate, the guard took a small metalic spraycan from her pocket, and carefully sprayed Kim's gummed legs. The brown gum disappeared, crystalizing into a colorless powder, that the Burglar brushed away. When the girl was brushed clean, out of the same crate came a soft white bathrobe, that the Burglar spread over the sheet, and where sleeping Kim was laid into, and carefully wrapped in.
Then the guard pulled a small fork-like device from her watch and began scanning Kim's dormant body, from head to toes. Four times the device beeped and four didguised tracking devices were taken from Kim's body. All those were deposited in a plastic bag... Smiling a wee bit mischievously, the guard picked up the Kimmunicator, from where it had fallen when Kim's cargo pants melted, and added it to the bag. The bag , she gave intto the Burglar's white, rubbery hands, directing : "Procedure dc-23". With an even wider smile on his face, the Burglar jumped 7 meters to the opened skylight, and took off in the night, jumping among buildings like a cricket in tall grass.
Meanwhile, a house-sized lens-shaped object, apparently translucid and nearly invisible in the night sky, landed atop the warehouse. The ceiling opened underneath and the object sent a wide light beam down. on the light beam, as if on a platform descended a shaft, four men stood. Two looked like male nurses. using all-blue jumpsuits, and carrying a stretcher. The third, older, by his stance and demeanor, looked like a doctor. The fourth looked out of place, but even so to be accorded considerable respect by his three companions. He sent worried glances at Kim, and the first thing he did when he stepped out of the light beam was to ask the "guard":
"Are you sure she is unharmed? "
The "guard" looked annoyed, but held her tongue: "Of course she is...we never mistreat our charges."
On cue, the doctor kneeled by Kim's side, drawing a fork-like instrument of his breast pocket, and scanning Kim with it, firstly alongside her forehead, then from eye to eye, then from chin to toes.
Getting up, he diagnosed: "Congratulations! A notably healthy captive. As usual, you managed to capture her with little to no damage, my dear Mis Duckter ..."
"Well, we are here to give them the benefits of civilization, not to perpetrate savagery upon them..." Answered the "guard" (or miss Duckter):
"Of course, of course." Said the Doctor
" Still, considering who your objective was ... I do think that acquiring her unhurt, and with very little fuss, deserves commendation!"
"Thanks, doctor... Okay, miss Duckter. I may be a bit overzealous, but... You understand... after what Lady Maken and I went through..."
"Of course I understand, Lord Joryum. But the doctor commends us too early... We still haven't taken to Neon our prize... Now, lets get going, time is getting short"
Saying so, Miss Duckter signaled to the two helpers. They approached, smoothly transferred Kim's limp body to the stretcher, took it. and then went in smoothly rapid march to the circle of light. There, they were joined by Lord. Joryum, the "doctor" and Miss Duckter... and by a pale, elastic figure, jumping apparently out of nowhere, but coming from the general direction of a door opening to the street.
After recovering the platform with its occupants, the lens-like vehicle took off, and flew to another deserted building's ceiling where a blond girl was picked up. That done, it went up in an incredibly fast acceleration, to the stratosphere and beyond...