Guilty Gear Messed Up
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I do not own the Guilty Gear franchise, nor do I own Capcom, Bandai, or authors that appear in this fic! I only own this fic!
However, the new character here is mine! All mine! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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[A large crater in Antarctica; it is rumored that here lies a powerful Gear. Hell, we all know that this thing can't be as powerful as Justice, or Dizzy, but it'll seem like a bastard. It is not even a humanoid Gear. It is rumored to be an injustifiable animal Gear, similar to animals like elephants and whales that have been tested on. Something is seen moving out of the crater.]
[It is a sight that none would want to behold! It is a large sasquatch-like creature, with it's mouth open in a full 180 degrees, with paws that were made similar to that of the ancient cats; in it's mouth is a statue of a knight in a suit of armor, pre-15th century, glowing with evil, and... a puppy with plane goggles??]
Gear [a loud roar]: GGRRRRRRROOARRRRR!!
--
[In the strata-sphere; a large electrical field circulates very nicely, ceasing finally, spewing a body out.]
[The body turned out to be a young boy, around age 16; he is wearing white shoes, beige shorts overlapping black pants, a blue-and-white long shirt, and black gloves. The boy's hair was blond as the majority, but he had a cerulean ponytail reaching down his lower back, with faint cerulean dotting the blond]
[Enough said, the boy is being hurtled down towards Earth]
--
[In the happy countryside, here we see our favorite British man Axl Low walking along a dirt path, in the quaint sunshine with clouds dotting the blue sky; a small beagle is following him]
Axl: Wow! This is a moment to be alive! The fresh air! The sunshine! The fact how nature and technology can work side-by-side! Though one thing could make this much better! [tears start to form up in his eyes] MEGUMI BY MY SIDE! [starts crying]
[The beagle starts to whimper alongside]
Axl [still crying]: Run along, boy. Leave your pity for someone who is worthy of it... Oh the hell with it! C'MERE, MATE!
[Axl starts to cry a little louder, hugging the beagle]
[Suddenly, AN EXPLOSION!!! The winds send Axl and the doggy flying a few kilometers away]
Axl [screaming]: WHY ME!?
--
[On the deck of the Mayship; here, we see everyone's 2nd favorite British man Bridget helping May and Dizzy maintaining the top-side]
Bridget: Certainly is another busy day.
Dizzy: Yes, it is.
May [eying Bridget]: I even wonder why Johnny let you on! You're a boy!
Bridget: He thinks that because I was raised as a woman, the other girls wouldn't find me attractive enough, thus making Johnny still the hot stud around here.
May: That's true!
Bridget [hangs head in disbelief; muttering something inaudible to himself]: I try so very hard to be manly, and I still get ignored. Dizzy will never like me...
Johnny: Yo, ship-mates! How's it go--[trips on a bucket May left lying around; goes over the side] YAAAAHHH!
May, Dizzy, and Bridget: JOHNNY!!
[They look over the rail, seeing that Johnny instinctively pulled out his katana and in a quick second, dug it into the side of the Mayship.]
Johnny [panicked; high voice]: I'm okay! [uses his hand and his katana to climb back up] Well, that was exciting. WHO LEFT THAT BUCKET THAT ALMOST KILLED ME THERE!?
Bridget: May.
Dizzy: May.
Necro [appearing from Dizzy's wing]: May.
May [shocked]: *gasp* You guys are bastards! AGAIN, I AM DEFEATED!
Johnny [death look]: May... go to your room.
[May, in anger, stomps off angrily, muttering curses]
Dizzy [looking off to the side]: Johnny, Bridget, what's that strange hole in the ground down there?
Johnny: Hmm...
Bridget: Maybe it's a shooting star that fell to Earth.
Johnny: Maybe there's precious space gold!
Necro: You really are stupid, aren't you!? [slaps Johnny in the face]
Johnny: Oh that's it! I HAVE HAD IT UP TO [places hand on neck] HERE WITH YOU!
Necro: Well, Dizzy's going to kick your ass!
Dizzy [nervous and scared]: But I don't wanna kick his ass!
Bridget: Can I?
--
[In a nice, slick mansion, here we see everyone's 3rd favorite British man Venom sitting on a chair in front of a small table, sipping tea as if he's waiting for someone; a door bursts open]
Venom: Well... it took you long enough to get here... Millia.
Millia: Can the crap, Venom. You better have called me for a damn good reason! I'm missing the O.C. right now, and damn, Seth is so hot!
Venom [jackass]: He's not hot; he's a 'fugly mo-fo'.
Millia [terrified]: *gasp* You're lying!!
Venom: No, I'm not. And besides, who still watches that 'Century-and-a-1/2 Channel' anyway? But, to get things underway, I propose we make an alliance with each other to rid this world of Eddie.
Millia: Feh! Why would I want to make an alliance with you!?
Venom: Think about it this way. I want to kill Eddie so that Zato-sama's body can be free. You want to kill Eddie because his existence makes you suffer for all your days. In short, the both of us want to kill Eddie. So what say you, Millia?
Millia: What the hell. Sure. [a cat walks in; Millia has bishoujo-kawaii eyes] AWW!! THAT KITTY'S SO CUTE! [she grabs the cat and hugs it good]
Venom: Well, that was sure settled quickly.
--
[At the site of the explosion; Axl and the stray doggie (whom he took the privilege to name it Low) near the crater cautiously]
Axl: Well Low, we're about to enter some kind of cool and strange obscurity! This could be the adventure of a lifetime! AND I'M GONNA LIVE IT! [slips] AAAAAAAAUUGGH!!!
[Axl is proceeding to roll down the crater all the way to the bottom; the puppy follows after the scraggly bum]
Axl: Ow. Well, that was horribly ruined! I COULD HAVE BEEN AN ACTION HERO, AND ALL I NEEDED WAS A DRY COOL WIT!
Low: *bark*
[Axl and the dog step closer to the center of the crater]
Axl [shocked]: Whoa! It's a body! Low, go see if it's still alive. Though I doubt anything could've survived something that large!
[The beagle smells the body; it's constant barking signals to Axl that it's still alive]
Axl: WHAT!? NOW THAT'S NOT RIGHT! [walks over to the body, and moves it until its on its back] Wow; poor guy. Hey kid, you alright?
[The boy starts twitching in the scraggly bum's arms]
Axl: I'm not scraggly!
Kid [eyes are twitching; voice is weak]: No... Jeri... Minako... April-chan... Mai-den... [eyes burst open; his separate crimson and emerald eye shrink] MINNA!!
[The boy starts to breathe heavily; his eyes looked panicked, and he is looking around, turning his head frantically, as if he were looking for someone]
Axl: You okay, kid?
Kid: Where am I? This is not the Maiden Ship!
Axl: Maiden Ship? What are you talking about!?
Kid: UNDINE!
[Out of his back, two opposite colored pop out of his back, and the one on his left side grabs Axl by the neck, taking the form of a majestic beauty]
Wing: Don't you dare hurt my precious!
Axl [trying to speak]: PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!
Kid: Undine, YAMETE!
[The wing returns back to the boy's body]
Axl: Holy Crap! Did you just sick your wing at me?
Kid [innocent voice]: I'm sorry to have done that. Undine is very protective of me.
[Low the puppy starts to bark angrily at the kid]
Kid: Please stop, little creature. I will pose no harm to you.
Axl: What's your name, kid?
Kid: My name... is Nazareth. Where am I?
--
[An author is surrounded by two other authors; note, the voices are in the style of badly-dubbed voices]
Blackheart ZERO: You fool. You cannot make a random story. There are too many random stories in the Guilty Gear section!
Lone Wolf SIX: I whole-heartedly agree.
Blackheart ZERO: And what's worse; you claim to make a random story that actually has a decent and sustainable plot. That is just not possible.
Lone Wolf SIX: While introducing an original character; you will not get away with this.
TRUE Unknown: I'm afraid I already have!
[A flashy and/or badly choreographed fight scene after, the two authors fall down, defeated in battle]
TRUE Unknown: I guess that is the end.
Sheo Darren [from behind]: Not so fast! Bridget/Dizzy is the Suors! Long live Bridget/May and Ky/Dizzy!
Person with many Aliases: Don't be too sure!
TRUE Unknown: I thank you for your assistance.
--
How will this battle end?
[No authors or opinions on authors were harmed. This is all meant to be fun]
Will Millia and Venom function as a team?
Venom: We better! [looks back] As long as she isn't chasing cats.
Millia [acting really out of character]: HERE KITTY!
And who is this 'Nazareth'?
[He's MY creation! To other authors such as Blackheart, Lone Wolf, Sheo, etc.: If you wish to use Nazareth in my fic, simply ask me, AND state that he's mine. You got that?]
Find out, next time!