Oh God, not another one. Yes, this is another ZaDR fanfic, also forced upon me in a game of Truth or Dare, however, I've decided to make this a spoof of the shitty ZaDRs. I apologize to my readers expecting the next chapter of Parallels, but I have to get this up soon, or else the friend who dared me to write this will KEEL me!
Here goes….
I do not own Invader ZIM. Jhonen Vasquez does, and I don't give a shit if he gave the rights to Crapolodeon, they don't deserve the credit for such GENIUS.
--
This Monday seemed… more superior, in Zim's mind. The previous night, he had an epiphany after having a rather depressing epiphany before the first one mentioned about just how low his prestige was on all of Planet Irk. He was a Defective, and he knew it, but that meant the Tallest didn't care what happened to him or what he did. He could feel emotions, rot on the filthy Earth-stink-ball for the remaining centuries of his life, or even go back to work at Foodcourtia, not that he wished to do the latter.
His second epiphany, after the Defective Epiphany, as he had named it in his amazing brain, was about his feelings for a certain human he had known better than the rest. When Zim arrived at Skool, his eyes instantly brightened at the sight of the human who sat also in the front of the room, but on the opposite side. The sun shined brightly through the window and bounced off the raven hair, and the glasses hiding the luscious, honey-colored eyes gave a slight glare.
Dib stared at his desk with a spaced-out facial expression, tapping his pencil occasionally. He set the pencil down, tucking his fingers back into the obsidian sleeve of his trench coat. Lately he had been thinking about Zim, but not the same way he usually did. Usually, he wanted to rip off the wig and contacts to show everyone else he wasn't crazy, that he wasn't telling lies, that aliens existed, or perhaps he thought about what sort of disgusting, alien-scum plan the green boy was thinking up next. But since Saturday, Dib was thinking about Zim's good qualities. What sort of good qualities did Zim have, though? He wasn't human, that was a start. All the other humans, er, most of them, at least, were ignorant of everything but what they heard on a news broadcast channel, or from their friends, or read on the internet. Zim was also determined to take over the Earth, even if the plans he made of going about it were moronic.
What was this they were both feeling? Was a mutual relationship developing? Acquaintanceships? Friendships? Perhaps it was more.
Dib blushed slightly and felt a pair of eyes on him. He looked up to see Zim, and went redder, looking away instantly and going through his backpack for no particular reason other than to hide his face. Zim also blushed, but his face went a darker shade of blue-green.
Somehow, magically, nonsensically, they both thought the same things at around the same times.
Neither of them could concentrate much on the doomy lesson Ms. Bitters was teaching, well, part of the reason was because it was doom every day.
"Doom, doom, doom, doo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-oo-oom!" The seemingly immortal teacher rasped, flexing her fingers slightly at every syllable. Zim subtly snuck a probe into the clock, which no one seemed to notice.
"Hey, what's that long arm-thing doing by the clock?"
"Whu? I thought that was always there?"
"Oh, yeah, huh!"
Zim focused on the formatting and programming going on in his PaK, desperately attempting to make all clocks in the school speed up by forty-six minutes, the time needed for the bell to ring. Out of nowhere, sirens blared and red lights flashed. Zim received a jolt of electricity from the clock and quickly retracted the metal arm.
Ms. Bitters let out one of her most menacing growls before reaching to the clock and pressing something on the side. The sirens silenced and the lights disappeared. However, the clock's hands did move around the clock much faster, and, for some reason, so did Miss Bitters.
It was a rather odd sight that none of the other students seemed to notice, as they too were acting at inhuman speed. Zim and Dib glanced at each other briefly. Dib raised an eyebrow, and Zim shrugged, a silent way of saying, "I seriously don't know, I didn't do it this time."
Finally the bell rang, and everything was at normal speed. Zim and Dib rushed outside.
"Who in Tallest Miyuki's name has something like that on a clock, anyways?" Zim inquired, not bothering with the fact he was having a civil conversation with Dib.
"Never mind that, Zim, did you SEE how everyone was acting when you messed with the clock? It was like they were remote-controlled robots!"
Zim gave Dib a look of 'you've got to be kidding me'. Dib shrugged.
"I know, kind of redundant."
A few minutes of silence passed, and the two stood at the entrance of the school in the shade. Some more children ran out before no one besides the faculty was left in the school.
Zim and Dib stared at each other for a moment, and in that one moment they realized just what they felt, and at that moment, they grabbed each other and locked their lips in a passionate kiss. Zim's long, somewhat scaly tongue poked at Dib's mouth. Dib received it with pleasure. Zim then pulled away, fiddling with something in his PaK. He pulled out a tiny, coin-sized device that beeped continuously faster until Zim latched onto Dib's wrist, and they were both instantly teleported to Zim's base.
Once again, they decided to suck each other's face off, but, actually did.
* * *
Dib forced himself awake and sat up straight in bed, shaking in slight fear, and partial concern for his mental health. He ripped the covers off and ran downstairs to the kitchen to get something to drink. On his way down he could have sworn he heard someone calling his name, but he shrugged it off, gulping down some water. He drank until the glass was empty, and then refilled it, drinking it slower this time. He continued to repeat the process until he felt his nerves were calmed.
Each step back up the stairs was a pain; the day before he had been running around to avoid Gaz's wrath, even more so than he normally did. Finally, he reached the top of the stairs, where he accidentally raised his foot for another step and felt a jolt of shock when his leg fell in the darkness. When Dib was reassured of his balance, he continued back to his room and collapsed back into the bed.
"Dibbie-kins, are you okay?" Dib looked to his left, and saw Zim, clinging to Dib's arm.
"Yeah, fine, just had a weird dream."
"Good, I'm glad you're okay." Zim smiled and kissed Dib's cheek.
* * *
"AAAARGH!"
This time, Zim was the one who had woken up. He had accidentally fallen asleep, a new ability he had taken after living on Earth so long.
"Although I am amazing, because I AM ZIM, I find it best not to watch those stinking 'sci-fi flicks' these pathetic beings take interest in. Too bad the Tallest actually did send me a transmission of the truth." He sighed, pressing a button and receiving some Irken soda from the computer. He drank until he felt calm, suddenly feeling déjà vu.
"Filthy humans. To think Zim was placed as his mortal enemy in even a silly-worm-baby DREAM!" He gagged, pressing his antennae flat against his head in concern for his own mental health.
"Ah, well, now that that's done…." He mumbled, bringing up an art website and typing in 'ZaDR', drooling at all the pictures.
* * *
By now, no one could ever be sure whether or not they were dreaming, and, for once in her life, Gaz was actually frightened and, quite possibly, scarred and traumatized for life.
Perhaps therapy was a good idea….
Fin.
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-giggling hard, so very, very hard- I actually had fun writing this, and, yes, I MIGHT have taken the continuously-waking-up-from-a-bad-dream-thing a LITTLE too far, but it was worth it to make everyone go OOC, which is what I was aiming for. Once again, I played a game of Truth or Dare and, of course, I picked Dare, and the same friend who made me write the first ZaDR oneshot in my fanfics made me write a "Sequel". To make it more appealing to me, I tried to make it a spoof, and I'm quite proud of it.
Once more, I will be getting back to writing Parallels, but after I recover from my rib-injury (caused from trying not to laugh at this entire oneshot).
~Grogie13~