"Happy birthday, Sasuke-kun!"

Of course, Sakura would have to be the first guest to arrive. Itachi must have let her in to annoy him. Sasuke stifled a sigh and hid himself behind the huge stack of presents in the center of the room, which would undoubtedly grow bigger throughout the day. The ones already there had all come out of his parents' money, and as the pile was large enough to completely obscure him from the sight of someone on the other side of it, no one could accuse the Uchiha clan of being poor. But many as the presents were, Sasuke would have exchanged them all for just one compliment from Oto-sama.

"Sasuke-kun? Where are you?"

The voice alerted him to Sakura's entrance into the room, and he very nearly cut off his supply of oxygen in order to keep from giving away his position. Yes, that was it… Concentrate. Concentrate on turning to rock, and no one would hear—

"Yes, Sasuke-kun… Wherever might you be?" The lower voice easily found its way into his ears, a slight lilt in it causing him to suspect that he was being… taunted. In fact, if he didn't know better, he would think Itachi was laughing.

Ah, well. The game had been fine while it lasted, he supposed. But it was better to come out now, still grasping the shreds of his dignity, rather than to be found later and forced to admit he was engaging in such foolish behavior as hiding from guests. After all, Oto-sama would not approve. And Oto-sama's word was law, wasn't it?

"Sakura-san. Thanks for coming." He smiled politely even though he wanted to wrinkle his nose at the perfume her clothes were drenched in. It was the right thing to do, after all. And yes, back in those days, he was still capable of smiling on a regular day-to-day basis.

Seriously, though, what was with that perfume?

"Oh…" Her face turned a little red as he stepped out from behind the gifts, eyes finding his face for the first time. "Just… just call me Sakura."

So she was shy? Well, obviously not shy enough to give up following him around and fangirling over him every chance she got… Wait, did she just tell him not to use an honorific? Sasuke's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. How improper… Oto-sama would be disgusted. But then, Oto-sama was barely above disgust when it came to Sasuke anyways, no matter how many presents came out of his wallet.

He realized that she was waiting for him to say something, and although he really didn't want to get trapped in a conversation with her of all people, he supposed it would be a step up from having to stand there with her staring at him as if he was a teddy bear she had spotted in a shop window.

He cleared his throat. "…Sakura, then. That's… interesting perfume you're wearing."

She smiled brightly. "I think so too."

He suppressed the urge to say, "No… No, I don't think you do…" and settled instead for a simple "Hnn."

"It's strawberry-scented," she informed him.

"Ooooh, strawberries," Itachi said, reminding Sasuke that he was there as well. "You love strawberries, don't you, Sasuke-chan?"

Sasuke just glowered. Itachi knew very well that Sasuke had hated strawberries ever since getting sick from eating too many of the blasted things at the age of three. And since when had Itachi used "-chan" to address him?

"They're your favorite, aren't they?" Itachi asked. He was having fun with this, actually.

"Oh, they are? I'm so glad!" Sakura beamed.

And Sasuke was so not.

The doorbell rang, accompanied by several rather loud squeals, announcing the presence of more fangirls. Lovely. Absolutely lovely.

"I'll get it," Itachi said cheerfully. When he opened the door, a couple of the fangirl pack stopped to stare at him, while the rest moved on, trying to be the first to present their gifts to Sasuke.

Sasuke realized this and braced himself for the inevitable. Just as the newly arrived fangirls readied themselves to move in for the kill, Sakura handed him a little box-shaped package, covered in pieces of comic strips from the newspaper and tied with what looked like a shoelace masquerading itself as a ribbon. It was… kind of cute, if in an odd way—

"Sasuke-kun! Take my present!"

"No, mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine is the biggest, you should take this one first—"

"No way, mine is definitely bigger!"

"Are you blind!? Look at the size of this one!"

Then they caught sight of the present already in Sasuke's hands, and began screaming as if in agony.

"Sasuke-kun, how could you?"

"How could you accept that present before ours?"

"Whose present was it, anyway?"

"Yeah! Whose?"

"…" Sasuke wished that he could simply have skipped the unfortunate event known as his birthday altogether. Some of those fangirls looked as if they wanted to tear him alive and eat him, especially that one in particular – what was her name? Oh, right – Ami. He hated the sight of that girl… And those that didn't seem to want to devour him alive were all trying to squash him with their hugs… And perhaps deafen him with their numerous "Sasuke-kun's" and "Kyaaaaa's." Yes, it was all a very elaborate plot. A conspiracy against them by those seemingly innocent monsters…

"Enjoying yourself, Sasuke-chan?" Itachi said, smiling pleasantly as he entered the room with a plate of dainty little cookies.

"Hnn…"

Taking that as an acknowledgement of Itachi's presence, the girls turned to him and started squealing over how cute the cookies were.

"Oooooh! These are just the most adorable things ever!"

"Did you bake these yourself, Sasuke-kun?"

"Kawaiiikawaiiikawaiii!!"

The last statement was made by a deranged fangirl who didn't even come from Japan. She had come from abroad just to stalk him… Now that was seriously scary.

"…" Sasuke tiptoed out of the room while the girls scarfed down the cookies. He hated anything that tasted sweet, actually, but Ka-chan had insisted on making them for his guests, promising he didn't actually have to taste any of them. Why anyone would actually want such things was a matter behind him, and as he was the top in his class at the academy, he didn't see how his classmates could be right about sweets being good things.

"Sasuke-kun? Why did you leave?"

He glanced up from his place in the long hallway, keeping his face nonchalant, and found that it was Sakura who was looking down at him. She had a paper plate with a cookie on it in her hand. The hand that was currently extending out towards him. This. Was. Not. Good. Was she seriously trying to offer him those things!?

"Don't you want a cookie, Sasuke-kun?"

He summoned up his courage and told himself that he could somehow chew through all the sugar and try not to breathe through his nose, and that soon it would all be over. He tried not to look at the cookie as he reached out for it, but something panicked inside of him, and before he could think twice, a huge sparkling pink heart of whatever-cookie-was-made-of-not-that-he-cared was looking up at him.

His fingers trembled almost violently. He couldn't touch that thing. He just… couldn't.

"Have you never had a cookie before, Sasuke-kun? Trust me, you won't regret trying one…"

Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment and blocked out her words. He had become quite good at blocking out people's words lately, actually. He'd had to – he wouldn't have been able to make it through all his father's comparisons between him and Itachi, otherwise. Those comments from Oto-sama… He couldn't quite classify them as insults, exactly, but they certainly weren't compliments, and listening to them twisted his gut. It hurt. Not like the hurt you got from a flesh-and-blood wound, but he didn't know what else to use to describe it… And "hurt" seemed to fit right—

His eyes snapped open as he felt a hand on his shoulder. The only person he was comfortable with making physical contact with him – other than in combat – was Ka-chan, and he knew her hand was bigger than the one on his shoulder now…

"Sakura?" He forced himself not to add the honorific. "Please… Remove your hand from my shoulder."

Her fingers felt warm. "Hai." And they lifted from his shoulder, but he couldn't forget how they felt there. "Sasuke-kun, I get the feeling you weren't listening to me. Don't be scared of eating a cookie—"

He wasn't scared. He just wasn't looking forward to the experience.

"Sasuke-kun, are you listening?"

"Hnn," he acknowledged, looking up before she could touch his shoulder again.

"Anyways, I'll eat it with you, if that will make you feel better." She broke the cookie in two – two halves of a heart. "Look, now you have one half, and I have the other! We're connected."

Was that supposed to be a good thing?

"Eat up, Sasuke-kun!"

He had one last sigh before he gave in. Sighs were mandatory, of course – they matched him as well as peanut butter did jelly. Not that he liked peanut butter and jelly, such things didn't suit his taste—

His teeth sank into the cookie, and he gave a start in surprise. But he couldn't back out now… He had to finish it.

"Well, it's good, isn't it?" Sakura said blissfully. She had decided Sasuke looked cute when he ate – the little crumbs around his lips gave him a more childish look. It was… fascinating. Her eyes widened more with every bite he took.

Sasuke forced himself onward. Just get it over with, he told himself… How long could it take to finish a cookie, anyways?

And, as Sakura watched, he ate her heart.

Author Notes: Thanks for reading! July 23rd is Sasuke's birthday, so I had to make myself write him something at the last minute. I thought it would simply be Sasuke-centric, but it ended up being sort of SasuSaku... Perhaps I'm simply too SasuSaku-obsessed? ^^;

Have some tomatoes! They're Sasuke's favorite food, after all... *hands out virtual tomatoes*

Disclaimer: Characters are from Naruto and belong to Kishimoto-sensei! =)