Destiny With a Detour
I remember the wind blowing so hard we could barely see, streamers of golden dancing like our spirits. Rich laughter ringing through the air, shouted words lost in the swell of sound as we walked along, moving so slowly against the wind. We defied the Fates, refusing to be caught and frozen in a moment, our lives in too big of a rush to stand still and take the time to acknowledge certain truths. How I wish now I could return to that time and place to stay there forever at your side, peals of honeyed laughter floating about us as we walked so close, the things I wanted to say locked up inside, but it was enough then to just stand close and let the silence speak for itself. Now, I've lost you and I don't know if or when you'll want to be found. Those precious moments, words from the past chapters of my life, pages in the book I can turn back to and relive vicariously through my thoughts, unable to ever fully step into what has been and what cannot be changed now.
Hindsight is indeed clearer than what lies before our eyes each day, in this pensive hours of reflection, as the moon glimmers above, a bright crescent of hope in the dark realm of regret, remorse and martyred love. Shards of glittering dreams scattered amongst the night, gossamer veils offering the illusion of perfection and rapture, the velvet tapestry interwoven with forbidden desires and hastily banished tears that I shall deny ever fell. Soft, milky moonlight descending gentle as an angel's lost feather, pooling on the earth barren as my heart. My penitent thoughts ever-present company as I walk this shady path winding further more from the life I aspired to lead, with you strong at my side, should I be too weak to rise and too slow to reach the beckoning light at the end. The sins I have committed are against myself and you as well, dreadful sins of opportunity missed, chances lost and continuing to pass me by. I believe now that it was our first mistake, dismissing the forces surrounding us that long-ago day, letting the moment pass us by without stopping to smile for the camera.
So many fragments of the past lie hidden in my mind, I shirk from them day after day, so many times I wonder why I could not have let my heart talk instead of my mind and then I see you walking by in the hall, seemingly engrossed in the multitude of conversations all about you, and then you lift your eyes to mine and those buried thoughts break free. In your gaze is the power to break my will, in your voice the authority to elevate me to the highest heaven or to banish me to the worst of the pits of hell. We are letting these moments last forever, when our eyes meet of their own accord, struggling to repair what we broke that windy day still so sharp in my mind. Our eternities may yet merge, all is possible this day and age, but I do not know how to bridge this gulf that has created division between our two hearts, but I feel that together we may yet cross this barrier …and golden laughter shall be the soundtrack to our sweet ever after.