Moving In

Cannon: Set during/after "Knock, Knock, Who's There?"

Genre: Comedy.

Rating: G

Summary: Larry & Balki learn to share the apartment.

"Cousin Larry?" Balki asked, glancing around the living room.

Larry sighed. "What is it, Balki?"

"Where do I sleep?"

Larry looked up from his newspaper. "You can use the couch. It turns into a bed."

"You teasing Balki," he said.

"It's true." Larry stood and went over to the couch. "Stand up and I'll show you." Balki stood and moved off to the side. Larry grabbed the handle and pulled the couch open. "See?"

Balki's jaw dropped. "How you did that?"

"It's made like that. You can use this for a bed."

"I love it!" Balki exclaimed. "Oh!" He went over to the chair by the fireplace that he had put his belongings on and dug around in his bag. He came back holding a stuffed sheep, jumped, and flopped himself on the fold-out bed. He held up the sheep in Larry's face. "I love it and so does Dimitri!"

Larry glared at the stuffed sheep in his face. "Dimitri? You have a stuffed sheep named Dimitri?"

"He's very special." Balki set the sheep, standing, on the mattress.

"You don't..." Larry began, his brow arching, "...how do I say this nicely? You don't sleep with that, do you?"

Balki covered the sheep's ears. "Cousin Larry, he can hear you."

Larry rolled his eyes. "As much as I'd like to learn more about your stuffed sheep, I think I'm going to get ready for bed. There's pillows and blankets in the closet that you can use. Good night, Balki."

"Good night, Cousin Larry."

Larry went into his room, while Balki got up and went to the closet. He pulled out a sheet and a blanket, plus two pillows. He dropped the items on the couch, then went back to his bag. He pulled out a toothbrush and a pair of shorts, then headed for the bathroom. He'd been in there a few minutes, when Larry's door opened. He came out in a robe, holding his pajamas and stopped in front of the closed door. He glanced back at the couch, then at the door again.

Larry pounded on the door. "Balki?"

"In a minute," came the reply.

Fifteen minutes later, with a scowl on his face, Larry pounded on the bathroom door. "Balki!"

Finally, after a few seconds, the door opened and Balki emerged in his shorts, with his clothes from earlier in hand. "What the matter is, Cousin Larry?"

"What the matter is?" Larry repeated. "I told you I was going to get ready for bed, then you went into the bathroom."

"Yes, I did," Balki said, and Larry's brow arched. "You said you were getting ready for bed and you went in your bedroom."

Larry sighed. "I had to change and get my pajamas first. Balki, I said I was going in there."

"No, you didn't," Balki returned. "You did not say anything about the bathroom."

"It was implied, Balki!" Larry exclaimed, then finally noticed what Balki was wearing (or not wearing). He looked away, then asked, his voice an octave higher, "Do you always wear those to sleep in?"

"Yes, I do, it can get very warm during the summer on Mypos."

"Balki, this isn't Mypos. Do you have real pajamas?" Larry said.

Balki shook his head. "No."

"Fine. That's one thing we can do tomorrow: go shopping so you can get some pajamas."

Balki pointed at the set Larry was holding. "Like these?"

"Yes."

"I do'n think so, Cousin Larry."

"Well, why not?" Larry asked, then dismissed it. "Never mind, you'll find something you can sleep in."

"Okay," Balki agreed, then headed toward the couch. He flopped himself on it again.

Larry turned, looked toward the ceiling briefly, and went into the bathroom, closing the door after.

Balki's eyes popped open against the early morning sunlight. A shaft of sunlight came through a break in the curtains and covered his whole face. He flung the blankets off and jumped up, headed for Larry's door. He knocked on the door, then turned for the kitchen.

Moments later, Larry's door opened, and he stepped out of the room. Larry still looked half asleep, his hair disheveled, and an angry look on his face. He stopped just around the corner of the fridge and glared at Balki.

Balki smiled at him. "Good morning, Cousin Larry."

"Why did you just do that?"

Balki paused. "Because it is morning and I want to be nice."

"I meant why did you just wake me up? This is an hour before I normally wake up!"

"Oh. I'm sorry, I should have asked when you wanted me to wake you."

"Balki, I don't want you to wake me up. I have an alarm clock. There's a reason for that." Larry sighed. "I still have an hour. I'm going back to bed." He turned and went back to his room.

"Boy, is he grumpy in the morning," Balki commented, then went back to making his breakfast.

An hour later, as if on cue, Larry's door opened again and, once more, he staggered out, still half asleep. He moved in a daze and started making coffee. Balki watched him move around the kitchen like a zombie.

The kettle whistled and Larry poured the water into the mug with the instant coffee. His half asleep gaze remained fixed on the mug as he stirred. Without moving, he took a long drink, lowered the mug, and looked over at Balki. "Morning, Balki."

Balki glanced up from the comics he found in the newspaper. "Good morning, Cousin Larry." He paused. "You're not mad?"

"No." Larry walked over to the table and set his mug down. "I'm not a morning person. I... have a tendency to not really become aware of things until I have some coffee. It... helps me think."

"Then maybe you should have more coffee because you're not talking too well," Balki commented.

"I have half a mug to go," Larry said, then went back into the kitchen. He stopped in the middle and sniffed. "Balki, what do I smell?"

"Breakfast," Balki answered.

Larry turned. "You made breakfast?"

"Yes, I did. There's enough left if you want it."

"Well, thank you, Balki." Larry stopped in front of the stove and looked down at the pan on the burner. It looked like eggs. He took a plate and scooped up what was left. He returned to the table and began eating.

Balki glanced up at him every few seconds, a smile spreading across his face. When Larry finished, Balki spoke up, "Cousin Larry, I didn't know you liked Myposian food."

Larry's brow arched. "Myposian food? You mean that wasn't eggs?"

"Of course not, do'n be ridiculous!" Balki said, and Larry's brow lowered. "That was 'mahk bah bingy kibi'."

"English translation?"

"Yak spleen with ground pepper. Very hard to find, that's why I brought some from Mypos," Balki answered.

Larry swallowed hard and sat back in his chair. "I didn't hear that."

"I said it was–"

"I heard what you said!"

"But you just–"

"Balki!" Larry leaned forward. He paused a moment, trying not to completely fly off the handle, "What I mean is that I'm going to forget what you said that was and I never want to hear that again."

"Okay." Balki pouted. "Do I still get to go shopping?"

Larry sighed and sat back. "Yes, you still get to go shopping."

Balki stopped pouting and smiled.

The guys entered a department store.

"Now, Balki, pick out some clothes you want to try on, but don't touch anything else," Larry told him.

"Okay," Balki agreed.

"Good." Larry gave a slight nod and glanced around. "Where do you want to start?"

Balki looked around, pointed at something, "Over there!" and he grabbed the sleeve of Larry's jacket and pulled him along. He stopped in front of a rack of vests.

Larry yanked his arm from Balki's grasp, then grabbed two fists full of his shirt. "Balki... don't do that."

"But..."

"Just tell me. There's no need to drag me." He paused. "Now, do you need any help?"

Balki started through the rack and already pulled out two vests. "Hold these for me, please." He handed them off quickly and kept looking.

"Don't want you to hurt yourself," Larry said under his breath. "Don't forget pajamas, Balki."

"Thank you, Cousin Larry, I almost did forget." Balki handed over three more vests, then started down the aisle to the section with sleep wear. He rummaged through rack after rack of sets like the ones Larry had, assorted nightshirts, but didn't find anything he liked.

Five minutes passed. Larry sighed. "Balki, haven't you found anything you like?" His brow turned up in a pleading look.

"I'm still looking," Balki replied.

"In that case, do you mind if I go sit down? I sort of have my hands full."

"Sure." Balki kept rummaging while Larry went to look for a chair. As soon as he was out of sight, Balki cut over to a different rack and went through a couple things, looking for something. Finally, he found what he was looking for: a two-piece set of Spiderman pajamas. He smiled widely and kept looking, finding several shirt-and-shorts sets. He had his arms full by the time Larry came back, about ten minutes later.

Larry frowned at the armload Balki had. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all."

"I do'n want all this, but how I do find out what fits and what do'n?" Balki said.

"You can use one of the changing rooms." Larry looked around and spotted one off a far wall. "There's one over there." He started towards it, with Balki not far behind. They stopped at the door. "You take in whatever you need to try on and whatever you want to get you keep separate from what you don't want."

"Can I have those?" Balki asked, referring to the vests.

"Oh!" Larry plopped them on top of the pile Balki already had, which now nearly blocked his vision. He went through the door, down the hall, and found a vacant room.

Several minutes passed and Larry was now leaning against the wall near the doorway, trying to ignore anyone who walked by and gave him an odd look, which several people did. He sighed and turned to lean in the doorway. "Balki? Are you almost done?"

"Almost," he responded. After a few minutes, an odd sound could be heard. "Cousin Larry?"

"Balki?" Larry went through the door and down the hall. "What is it?"

"The door is stuck."

"Well, unlock it," Larry said, looking under a couple of rooms to find the right one. "And where are you?"

"Down the end," Balki replied, pulling on the door. "It wo'n open." Larry stopped in front of the door and Balki spotted his feet. "I'm in here."

Larry glanced down the hall to make sure no one was around, then leaned over to look under the door. "What did you do to the door?"

"I didn't do nothing. I closed the door and now it wo'n open," Balki explained.

"Then... go under the door."

"I do'n think so."

"How do you plan on getting out, then?"

"Maybe..." Balki paused. After a few seconds, he looked over the top of the door. "I could go over."

Larry looked up. "How did you get up there?"

"Do'n ask."

"Well, before you climb over, hand me the stuff you brought in there underneath the door."

"I can get it," Balki said. He disappeared for a moment, then started over.

"Hurry up, Balki, before someone sees you," Larry urged.

With one leg over, Balki paused, "I would love to hurry, but I can't." Larry moved to help Balki down and grabbed a foot. "Cousin, do'n help..." The pile of clothes landed on Larry, then Balki slid over the side, knocking both of them to the floor. Balki smiled. "I got out."

Larry, meanwhile, tried not to explode. "Yes... yes, you did."

The apartment door opened and the guys entered, Balki carrying three bags full of clothes from the department store. Larry followed him in, a clear look of disdain on his face, and closed the door. Balki set his bags down in front of the closet.

"Balki..." Larry began, trying very hard to keep his anger in check. "...It wasn't bad enough that you locked yourself in the changing room, then made a mess while getting out, but that little display you put on at the check out..."

"But, Cousin Larry, that woman said 'charge'. I thought there would be a stampede," Balki said.

"That's no reason for throwing me over the counter! You scared that poor woman to death! We'll probably never be able to go back in that store now." Larry sighed. "Balki, I know you just came to America and aren't too familiar with life here, but it is very different from Mypos, from what you've said of your little country. If you don't understand something, or something bothers you, ask about it first, let me explain it, then you can throw me over a counter. Atleast then there might be a reason for me to get black and blue."

"Black and blue?"

Larry pushed up the sleeve of his button-up, short sleeve shirt, revealing a bruise just below the top of his shoulder. "This is a bruise. And I'm pretty I just got it when you fell on me. My shoulder whacked the door handle." He let the sleeve fall back in place. "I'm not just saying this to protect myself, either, I saying it to protect you, too. Other people may not take the way you act the way you think they will, especially since you have different customs."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm," Balki apologized.

"I know you didn't. Just think of that as preparation for living in America."

"Well," Balki began, then flung an arm around Larry's shoulders, causing him to flinch, "I still think I'm going to like living here, and with you teaching me what I need to know, I will fit in before you can say bobasticky." He grinned.

Larry's brow lowered. "Bobasticky?"

End