Disclaimer: I do not yet own Star Wars. I have been banned from playing Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with my family because I know too much, but I do not own it.
I know that some of this is probably a little (a lot) wrong, but I just thought it would be funny that some poor student would have her homework sacrificed so that the Rebellion could win.
Star Wars Homework Excuses:
Star Wars IV:
"Stolen? Did you not have it saved elsewhere?" The teacher asked, glaring at the student in question who shuffled her feet.
"Well..."
Last night.
"Gah! Why do you guys keep wiping all the documents off our network? I just lost everything again," Liza complained as the screen she was using to access the house's network on went blank.
"Security. We told you to put school documents on a secure data crystal," her mother's voice came back. Liza groaned and went downstairs to the kitchen to grab her data crystal.
"Has anyone seen a data crystal on the counter? It has my essay on how much better the economics of the Empire are over previous forms of government," she asked, looking around the kitchen. It had her essay for tomorrow on it. There was an awkward silence from both her parents. She wanted to groan.
"Honey, are you sure you put it on the counter?" came her father's voice, hesitantly.
"Yes. Right before you kicked us out for 'adult conversations' with that guy we're supposed to have never met," she replied, moving things around and hoping it had just been moved.
"Which of us was suppose to get the data crystal for the Rebellion to use?" came her mother's voice from the other room. "I thought it was you."
"I thought you said you would get it, dear" her dad came into the kitchen, rubbing his neck.
"Where is my data crystal?"
"On its way to Alderaan."
There was a pause. "Why?"
"We needed it for a message."
"So let me get this straight. My homework is going to Alderaan with a message for the Rebellion. Can it come back? Let me guess: no," Liza started.
"Security," her parents answered.
Present time
"That, er, was the copy. The original was lost due to a computer glitch," Liza answered, wincing.
"I thought you said that glitch was fixed?"
"I though so to. Apparently not,"
"Well, I'll have to give you a zero. Remember, members of the Empire should be responsible citizens, and that starts with school."
The essay in question was overwritten, which was good since the whole premise was a lie, and instead the data crystal had an adventure culminating in the destruction of the Death Star. The two members of the Rebellion who assisted in getting the data crystal to Princess Leia were silently thanked, and their poor daughter failed her economics class.
Star Wars V:
"You lost it while visiting your family?"
"Yes,"
"Did you back it up?"
"Uh..."
One week earlier:
"Wait! I need to get my homework!" Liza said, struggling to get away from her parents to the area she had decided to use for her desk while they were 'stopping to see a dying relative' or something on Hoth at the Rebel base there.
"No time! The Empire's found us! We all need to get on the ship and get away!" her father said, hoisting her over his shoulder and carrying her to their ship. Liza's cries about her homework and 'Not failing another class because of this stupid Rebellion!' were ignored.
Well, by her parents. The other people on the base stared at her as if she was crazy before returning to their work getting everyone ready to leave.
Present day:
"That was destroyed too."
"Destroyed? I thought you lost it?"
"My Aunt destroyed it causing me to lose it."
"Didn't you leave for your aunt's funeral?"
"The other aunt."
"Well, I can't grade what I don't have..."
This paper did not have an exciting adventure. It did died in an explosion as the Rebel base was destroyed.
Star Wars VI:
"It was eaten by a what?"
"An ewok. A walking teddy bear."
"...Really?"
"Yes. I have proof!"
And Liza took out her datapad she had demanded her parents replace after Hoth, which had bite and scratch marks and a few scorch marks, and a giant crack. The teacher stared at it and looked back at her.
"They tried to eat it, turned it on, tried to kill it with a spear, and then stole a gun to shoot it but missed and started a small fire I had to put out," Liza said triumphantly. "I even have a note."
"The little monsters tried to eat the kid's datapad. Give the kid a break. Signed, General Solo? Very funny. Zero."
"Why?"
"You expect me to believe you spent the last part of your summer with the Rebellion on Endor? Nice try."
"But I even have a note!"
"Signed by one of the most wanted criminals, or busiest saviors depending on your view."
"I hate my life,"