Looking for a Little Romance
AU, 2x1/1x2 (3x4): Duo is no longer sure if he and Heero want the same things out of the relationship when Heero hints that he wants to get married.
Author's Note:
I'm in a bit of a writing 'funk' these past couple of weeks. I didn't want to ruin any of my WIP's by forcing myself to work on them while I am feeling so utterly uninspired and creatively exhausted. Instead, I picked one of my planned oneshots and more or less freewrote the story, in hopes of getting the creative juices flowing again. I'm not sure that worked, but at least I now have a oneshot for you to read. Please take this as it is, just a 'fun' little story.
Warnings: sexual content (anal and oral sex), sex toy(s), versatile sex partners (2x1/1x2), mentions of promiscuity and threesomes, mentions of drug-use, a spot of angst, sentiment and romance in all its sappy glory, LANGUAGE!
Looking for a Little Romance
When Duo got down on one knee for Heero, it was not to ask him to marry him. He knelt before his boyfriend and gently though urgently took his hand in his and asked him to move in with him. Heero agreed readily with a smile on his face. They hugged, then kissed, and made love that night like never before. At the house-warming party in their new apartment – their first shared home – they never left each other's side and Duo kept his hand on the small of Heero's back and they accepted the congratulations and best wishes of their friends and family. That night they christened the brand new bed and fresh, crisp sheets. They had purposefully held off having sex in the bedroom, saving the intimate entanglement in the bed, that was equally Duo's as it was Heero's, for that night, to make it official. It was ceremonious, reverent and beautiful. Their movements had never been more synchronized. It was the closest thing to a 'wedding night' they would ever have and it was perfect.
Moving in was a big deal for them. Duo had always believed that living together with a steady, exclusive boyfriend was the ultimate kind of partnership a gay couple could achieve and it took them a long time to get there.
He grew up believing that commitment and moving-in together was the epitome, the crown of a relationship between two men. 'Shacking up' was his equivalent to 'getting hitched'. For a long time, men like them could not get married and for as long as that was the case, he never believed that would ever change. He grew up knowing he was gay from an exceptionally young age and he never considered a wedding or a marriage to be part of his life. He didn't miss it, he didn't need it. Why were the black-on-white words of a legal document more valid and more valuable than the words whispered with every beat of a passionate heart? He had rejected the idea of marriage and he thought others naïve when they claimed that one day gay men and women could wed each other as well. Why would they think that? Why would they want that?
But that day came and Duo accepted that he had been wrong, however it didn't change the way he felt about marriage: it was a useless, void ritual that, at its core, had little to do with love; it was born from religious tradition – religions which openly rejected their 'lifestyle', not to mention.
No, Duo never thought he could get married. Duo never believed he would get married. And Duo never wanted to get married.
He always thought Heero felt the same. They never spoke of marriage, that's how much of a non-issue it was in their lives as gay men. Duo assumed that Heero grew up not idolizing marriage and the accompanying ceremony either and that he was as indifferent to the concept as Duo was. When same-sex-marriage was legalized in their state, all Heero said was: "Wanna bet Trowa and Quatre get married within the year?"
Heero never indicated that they had opposing views and wishes when it came to marriage and that made Duo feel at ease and secure in the relationship.
For him, being in love was like climbing a mountain together, working to get to the peak and then working to stay there. How do you climb in step with someone and feel a shared sense of achievement when for one partner the peak was higher than for the other? It would be an exhausting and unfulfilling quest. Duo knew that Heero and he had both reached the same peak of what love meant to them and they were both equally satisfied.
He was sure of it, until, one day, he wasn't.
CHRISTMAS
Last year they went to the Christmas party at Heero's work, so this year Duo insisted that they should make an appearance at the soiree at his office. He regretted it instantly. Hearsay had warned him that the office Christmas parties were a notoriously dull affair; all the fun, young, enthusiastic colleagues had better to places to be, leaving the Christmas-mixer for 'the old guard', who liked to talk about the good ol' days, their retirement plans and, above all else, their golf handicaps.
At Heero's work, there was no 'old guard'. Heero worked as a game-play designer at a young, thriving gaming company. The oldest person at his office was thirty-eight and everyone called him 'Pops'. For their Christmas party they had rented dozens of old arcade games and they had cleared away the desks to make room for everything. Everyone had a laugh trying out the old games from a different era, while they ate popcorn and cotton candy and washed the sweets down with beer.
Things were a little different at the office of the LA Times, where Duo worked ever since he was fresh out of college. With the precarious situation that printed press was in, Duo wasn't above calling on favors and exploiting his father's connections when he graduated and swallowing his pride paid off, seeing as none of his former classmates could pay the bills with their freelance gigs for online journals or small local newspapers. He was grateful for his job and he worked with amazing people – one person in particular even became his best friend: Hilde. But the ironically named Joy had been in charge of organizing the Christmas party and Joy was a fifty-seven year old, conservative Republican who was known year-round as The Grinch.
The office was a sea of grey – grey carpet, grey walls, grey desks, grey chairs, grey computer screens, grey printers, grey filing cabinets – aside from a single string of red and green lights that blinked on and off in the 'epileptic-setting'. In the kitchen, the grey kitchen, was a bowl of left-over candy from the Halloween party, which was equally poorly attended, and there were bottles of cheap champagne in the refrigerator that wasn't cold enough to properly chill the alcoholic drink.
With plastic champagne flutes in their hands the two of them did a tour of the office.
"I'm sorry about this," Duo muttered apologetically and he took a sip of the bubbly cat piss.
"It's fine," Heero assured him. "I wanted to come here. I wanted to see your work-space."
Duo stopped and nodded at another, unassuming grey desk. "This is it." He had never invited Heero to his office before because it was a little embarrassing. Heero had this exciting job and came home with the most fantastical stories, whereas the appeal of Duo's profession as a writer relied heavily on the mystery of it all. Take away that mystery and all that was left was a desk and an old desk-top computer with a lot of post-it's stuck to the screen.
Heero took a drink from the flute, made a face and then wordlessly handed it to his partner.
Duo laughed and set both their drinks aside. He watched his boyfriend take a seat in his desk-chair, testing the abysmal lumbar support and running his fingers over the keyboard in front of his 1999 desk-top monitor, from back when newspapers were still an important part in people's lives. He knew exactly when Heero noticed the small, silver picture frame by the stack of research on the corner of his desk. Coincidentally it was the picture they had taken together in the photo booth that was at last year's Christmas party at the gaming company.
The Japanese man smiled at him. A tiny, shy smile that he might deny later.
"It's a good picture," Duo defended his choice.
"We look ridiculous."
"Well, we were very drunk." He let out a hearty laugh, remembering that day. "And high on sugar."
Heero nodded in agreement. "So this is it? This is where you spend all day, every day?"
"Mostly, unless we get called to the conference room for a meeting to present our work, report our progress and brainstorm."
"Hmm, conference room. You're sexy when you talk corporate. Show me the conference room," He purred.
Duo took his hand and pulled him out of the seat, purposefully pulling him up so hard that his lover fell against him and Duo shamelessly enjoyed the brief bodily contact.
With a chuckle Heero detached himself and he let Duo guide him down a hallway to a conference room with all four walls completely made out of glass.
The big table at the center was of a polished, warm-colored teak but everything else, from the twelve chairs around it to the blinds in front of the window, were grey.
"God," Heero remarked, with the corners of his mouth downturned. "Everything is so serious. So bland."
"I think they were going for 'professional' and 'not distracting'." He went to stand closely behind his partner. He put his hands on the slim hips and pulled his behind back against him. "But I'm afraid they failed… Because whenever I'm in here I fantasize about bending you over this table, stretching your tight ass with my big cock and making you shoot your come all over this glossy surface." He nipped at Heero's earlobe suggestively. "I'm always very distracted and not at all professional."
"Every time the same fantasy? Aren't you a little more imaginative than that?" Heero teased.
"See that door across the hall?" Duo put his hand on Heero's chin and directed his gaze.
"Yeah."
"When I sit right there, in that chair across the table, I stare at that door the entire meeting. It's a supply closet and I think about fucking you in there. We have to stay quiet because there is a meeting going on, but you can't help but scream my name." He dropped his hand and stroked it down the front of Heero's body until he found the swelling bulge in his slacks.
"I could totally stay quiet if I needed to."
Duo smirked at the obvious challenge. He tugged him out of the conference room, met with little resistance, and they crossed the hallway to the door of the supply closet. Duo glanced around to make sure no one saw them and then he ripped the door open and they both hurried inside. It was pitch black at first and Duo could see nothing for a moment, but his hands easily found Heero's warm body and he pressed him back against the door.
"Is there a lock on this?" The Japanese man thought to ask.
"Nope."
"Fuck-" He was silenced when Duo's mouth captured his in a demanding kiss.
Their breathing and the rustling of their clothes sounded harsh and loud in the small, quiet space. The heat that radiated from their bodies soon warmed up the closet and they were both sweating. Beads of sweat rolled down their temples and their hair darkened and clung to their foreheads and the nape of their necks. Duo made haste to rid them both of their suffocating suit jackets and then unbuttoned both their white shirts. They sighed in relief and moaned in anticipation when Duo leaned in and connected their exposed chests. He felt Heero's pert nipples graze his sensitive, heated skin.
Since they had to finish before, God forbid, one of the old journalists would come look for them, Duo dropped to his knees in front of his lover and yanked down his pants. He helped Heero out of one of his shoes so he could free the entire leg from his slacks. He licked and petted the heavy, needy erection of his partner before straightening up.
"How do you propose we do this?"
The American didn't answer, instead he spit into his hand and rubbed it onto his own arousal and then grabbed Heero's ass and lifted him up. As predicted, the other instinctively wrapped his legs around Duo's waist and he stretched out his arms to seek purchase on the shelving on either side of the door, to support the remainder of his weight. "This okay?"
"Yeah. Do it. Fuck me," The Japanese man whispered.
While kissing him furiously Duo positioned his arousal at Heero's opening and slowly lowered him, letting his entire length disappear into that hot, tight sheath.
When Heero gasped and moaned Duo slyly reminded him that he had to stay quiet.
Heero bit down on his bottom lip to keep sounds of pleasure from spilling past his lips as Duo rocked in and out of him and latched his mouth onto Heero's neck to suck, kiss and bite. The muted mewls and sharp gasps in place of Heero's usual deep, throaty moans, drove Duo wild and he had trouble keeping quiet himself. He reconnected their mouths in an attempt to silence both of them. Their tongues sparred distractedly while they swallowed each other's moans.
One hand at a time Heero let go of the shelves and wrapped his arms around Duo's neck and he held onto him tightly as they both felt the pressure built towards an inevitable release.
"I'm gonna come," The American said against his lover's lips and he had barely finished pronouncing the warning when his orgasm consumed him and the movement of his hips became frantic as he spent himself inside the tight passage.
Feeling Duo come inside him, Heero took one hand off the broad shoulder and reached it between them to jerk himself off. The third pump of his fist did the trick and he spilled his semen onto his hand while he couldn't stop himself from crying out: "Duo!"
Out of breath and feeling shaky and unsteady, Duo carefully put Heero back on his feet and leaned his forehead against the door, above Heero's right shoulder. He let out a low chuckle. "You weren't quiet."
"I'm sorry…"
"It's okay. I was secretly hoping you couldn't keep it in." He laughed when Heero slapped his ass playfully.
"Motherfuck, it's hot in here…" The other breathed.
"Yeah." With a groan Duo pushed himself away from him. His eyes had adjusted to the low lighting provided by the sliver of white light coming in under the door. He fastened his slacks and searched the floor for their jackets.
"Do you have a tissue or something? I have my own come on my hand and your come trailing down my thigh."
Duo groaned, feeling pleasant tingles hearing him say that. Any other time, in their privacy of their own home, he would have flipped Heero onto his stomach, nudged his legs apart and he would have fingered the slick passage and lapped-up the traces of his own semen on Heero's inner thighs. His hands groped the items on the shelves and by sheer luck he found a stash of paper kitchen towels. He tore one of the rolls out of the packaging and handed it to his boyfriend. "Here, use this."
"Thanks." Once Heero had cleaned himself off, he put his pants back on and tied his shoe and Duo helped him slip into his jacket, gratuitously touching him while he adjusted the clothing.
"Let's head back to the party." Duo opened the door and peeked outside. The coast was clear and he rushed Heero out onto the hallway. In the bright, fluorescent light he laughed at the disheveled appearance of his lover, knowing he looked no better himself. Duo adjusted Heero's wild hair and lovingly ran his thumb along the bottom lip that was red and swollen.
In the meantime Heero pulled Duo's braid over his shoulder and redid it to tuck all the flyaways back into the rope of hair.
They shared a look and chuckled.
Before their absence would be suspicious they returned to the kitchen and break-area where the 'festivities' were centered. Duo was surprised to see that WuFei Chang and his wife Sally Po had shown up. A few days prior, the Chinese man had announced he would not be attending, providing some bullshit excuse. Excited to see friendly faces, someone he could actually enjoy talking to, he redirected Heero's attention.
"I want you to meet WuFei. You remember me telling you about him, right?" He checked as he guided his boyfriend to meet his favorite, hilariously grumpy and straight-laced colleague. He hadn't met Sally yet and he was curious to meet her.
"Sure. He's the sports guy?"
"Yeah, he's 'the sports guy'… WuFei! Hey, man! What's up? Merry Christmas!" He rambled, knowing it would annoy the man.
They shook hands and WuFei was quick to introduce his wife, using her to deflect Duo's energy away from him. "This is my wife," He said simply.
"It's so nice to finally meet you," Duo gushed. "The famous Sally Po."
"Duo, right?" She shook his hand and then looked at Heero.
Before Duo could introduce him, Heero reached out for her hand.
"Hi! I'm Heero Yuy-Maxwell."
Duo was distantly aware of Sally making small-talk with his boyfriend but all the words blended together and were drowned out and made incoherent by the rushing of blood in his ears.
Heero Yuy-Maxwell?
Where did that come from?
Heero had never before merged their last names together like that. Hyphenating the surnames was something only their married friends did!
Was Heero hinting at something? Was that something he wanted? Did he want to be 'Heero Yuy-Maxwell'?
The questions that swarmed him made him feel overheated and smothered and he desperately hid his distressed expression behind a new glass of lukewarm champagne.
They had been together for four years and Heero had never alluded to having the need to make their relationship official, with hyphenated names and everything. Hell, they shared a nervous giggle when they changed their Facebook statuses to 'in a relationship'. He was completely caught off guard by hearing his last name be said in the same breath as Heero's last name.
"Duo, are you okay?"
He blinked and noticed all three were staring at him.
"Maybe you should stop drinking that awful champagne."
"It's actually not that bad," He said dumbly. "It's an acquired taste." He tried not to grimace as he downed the entire content of the plastic flute.
"Okay." Heero regarded him with questions apparent in his eyes but Duo offered him a grin that he knew would reassure him that he was fine.
He wasn't fine – he was far from fine – but he couldn't tell Heero that. He was too afraid that once he would make a big deal of the 'hyphenation incident' and bluntly remind his partner that marriage was never something he had been willing to offer, the relationship would implode and crumble in on itself. He didn't want to have a stupid fight that would expose all their fundamental yet secret differences. He didn't want to ruin what they had, because what they had made him happier than he ever thought he could be.
But from that night on a thought persistently gnawed away at his sense of security: Was Heero just as happy and content with what they had as he was?
Or did Heero want 'more'?
Did Heero want a wedding, with them in matching white tuxedos? Did he want the perfect golden retriever? Did he want a house, with a yard lined with a picket fence and dotted with manicured rose bushes? Did he want kids? Adorable twins? Was the life they had not enough for him?
He had never suspected that Heero and he could be so different in that regard and he had never thought to ask. Or maybe he had always been too scared to ask. But if a wedding was something Heero wanted than it should have been his responsibility to say so!
Duo liked the life that they had. It scared him to think that Heero was unsatisfied with what they built together – what they had fought for, because what would that mean? What would the consequences be? Heero deserved to have everything he wanted, but if he wanted something that Duo couldn't give him, their relationship appeared doomed. Duo wasn't a guy who could change. It was a stubbornness that manifested itself it every part of his life; Hell, he didn't even like getting his hair cut which was why it had grown into a three-foot braid!
He didn't want to compromise, but at the same time this was a particular issue where he couldn't expect his partner to compromise either. It wouldn't be fair to ask Heero to live a life that didn't wholly fulfill him.
He wanted Heero to be happy. Would he be happier with someone else?
EARLY JANUARY
Ignoring the awkwardness of that unfortunate Christmas and the following New Year's eve and brushing off Heero's questions, was the only way Duo could handle the situation. He thought that if he could avoid all thought on the matter he would eventually forget about his insecurities and Heero would never drop another hint either. It was the coward's way, but if the coward's way was the only way to maintain his relationship with Heero, he wasn't ashamed.
It was a beautiful, sunny day, so when their friends had invited them out to their Malibu home, they decided to drive there in their 1969 Plymouth Roadrunner and make a trip of it.
Duo paused for a second. Did he really get to say "their" Roadrunner when they weren't married and it was Heero's salary that had financed the purchase? The Japanese man was really into classic cars, had been ever since he worked on a streetcar racing game 'back in the day', when he first moved to California. Said he knew he wanted a Plymouth Roadrunner the day he was tasked to render it for the game and he had been saving up for it all those years. It was unfair to call it "their" car, when most Duo ever invested in it was gas money once or twice.
He shook his head and berated himself for thinking along those lines. The problem was that now that 'the hyphen' was out there, it affected everything. It was as big and colorful and impossible to ignore as Heero's bright red Roadrunner.
"I hope you have fifty bucks on you," Heero remarked and he turned his head to grin at him. His eyes were invisible behind his aviator sunglasses.
"Why?"
"Come on. You have to realize why they invited us to come over, right?"
Duo shrugged innocently and looked beyond Heero at the ocean that sparkled in the sunlight like an infinite field of sapphires.
"Obviously…" The Japanese man continued, "They are going to announce their engagement. And you will owe me fifty bucks because I bet you they would get married within a year."
The American had an inkling agreeing to the bet six months ago would end up costing him money. He knew their friends would eventually get married, but in the moment he thought it would at least take them a little longer. "Only if the ceremony actually takes place before the twelve months are up."
Heero laughed. "Nice loophole! But okay. I'm not worried. It's going to be a spring wedding, I'm telling you."
He adjusted his sunglasses and planned to drop the subject, but he couldn't help but muse aloud: "You seem pretty excited about this…"
The driver checked the rear-view mirror before speeding past the tan estate car in front of them driving ten miles below the speed limit. The engine of the Roadrunner rumbled pleasantly. "Fifty bucks is pretty exciting, that's a lot of gas," He joked, but then amended with a more serious tone: "I'm happy for them. Aren't you?"
"Sure."
Heero snorted. "Oh, wow. Please… curb your enthusiasm."
"It's just a little fast," He said, as if that covered his issues with the whole idea of Trowa and Quatre getting married. "They've only known each other for like-" He paused to count the months in his head. "Shit, fourteen months since they first met. First met," He emphasized.
Of course Heero knew this, after all, they were the ones who had introduced the pair to each other. "Well, that's what people do, normally, right? When they love each other, they get married. Doesn't matter if it seems 'fast', when you know, you know."
Duo's stomach inverted and sunk lower into his abdomen, like a brick shoving it's way past all his organs, displacing everything. He was struck with a nausea and although Heero was an excellent driver, the turns and accelerations and decelerations suddenly exacerbated his queasiness and he felt like he was being flung left to right and front to back, like in a roller coaster.
He could brush off 'the Hyphenation Incident' as innocent and meaningless in and of itself, but in combination with such an unsubtle comment, it could no longer be ignored; Heero believed that when two people were in love, they should get married. He didn't worry – not even for a second – that Heero meant that the two of them weren't as in love as their friends or that they were any less convinced that they would be spending the rest of their lives together, because their love and commitment made themselves apparent every day, in every gesture; big or small. Which meant his comment could only be interpreted in one way: Heero wants them to be wed, even though he knew about Duo's 'skepticism' – to put it mildly.
'Normally, when people love each other, they get married, but not when your boyfriend selfishly rejects the holy matrimony.' That was what Heero was saying.
He folded his arms in front of his chest and focused up ahead to keep himself from getting really sick.
He was in a foul mood by the time the red Roadrunner pulled into the driveway of the Malibu mansion of their friends. It was easier to blame everything on Trowa and Quatre, blame them for putting ideas in his head about romantic proposals and wedded bliss. But in truth it was his own fault for not having a conversation about marriage, and how they felt about it, earlier in the relationship. Then he might have figured out in time that there was something Heero wanted – something he should not be denied – that Duo couldn't give him. It was an incompatibility issue with no fair solution, either Heero would never get the wedding he wanted and a part of him would always be dissatisfied with the relationship, or Duo would propose out of duty and end up resenting how the marriage he never wanted changed their relationship.
They hadn't even exited the car when the front door of the futuristic home swung open and Quatre walked out to the driveway to greet them while Trowa lingered in the doorway with a smile.
"Hey guys!" The blonde rushed towards them and hugged Duo first and then walked around the front of the car to greet Heero with the same enthusiasm. "How was traffic?"
"Not too bad." Heero pushed his sunglasses to the tip of his nose and stared at the impressive house before them. "So this is the new place, huh?"
"Yeah, do you like it?" Quatre looked back at his own home.
"Meh, it's okay," Heero replied sarcastically and then he headed over to Trowa to greet him.
Duo was still appraising the house. Quatre had several homes across the country. As the heir to a billion-dollar international conglomerate the young man collected homes and cars the way Duo used to collect EP's.
"Are you okay, you look a little green?" His friend studied his face with evident concern.
"I'm fine. The house is amazing."
Quatre's smile was beaming and he ushered him into the house. Duo shook Trowa's hand and patted him on his shoulder, offhandedly congratulating him with the newest addition to their real-estate portfolio and then he and Heero were taken to the spacious living room that overlooked the ocean. Heero stood at the window and marveled at the view but was asked to sit down. He shot Duo a knowing look. Quatre's nervous but excited energy betrayed the intentions of the spontaneous invitation to join them in their Malibu home.
Duo sat in one of two designer chairs, Heero occupied the other, and he watched Trowa and Quatre sit side by side on the couch. The couple was holding hands and Quatre was fidgeting. In the right circumstances Duo would have been endeared by the sight and he would truly be happy for them in spite of the fact that he didn't support the institution of marriage, but everything was tainted by the unexpected realization that there was something fundamentally wrong with his relationship with Heero and he couldn't help but resent their friends for inadvertently shining a spotlight on that exact issue.
Finally, Quatre blurted: "Trowa asked me to marry him!"
"Congratulations!" Was Heero's instant response.
Giddy to share the news Quatre told them the entire story of Trowa proposing to him on New Year's eve. The account was a little disjointed due to his excitement but Duo imagined it must have been romantic. Trowa was a predominantly quiet guy but, surprisingly, he did have a way with words whenever he did speak. At least, that's what Heero told him, when he candidly admitted to Duo that before he was best friends with the tall, introverted man, they had been romantically involved for almost four years.
Duo grimaced as he realized in that moment that Heero might have come to regret ending his relationship with the other man, because as it turned out Trowa was clearly open to the idea of marriage.
He redirected his attention to the conversation as Quare's monologue came to an end and the blond man announced:
"We invited you here because we have something important to ask you."
Duo raised his eyebrows.
"We want you two to be our best men." Quatre looked at them expectantly.
Duo was speechless. He would have been flattered if not for the fact that he really was not looking forward to the two of them being closely involved in the preparations leading up to the wedding.
"Quatre, thank you! We are honored. We'd love to be your best men."
Duo realized the other three were staring at him and he cleared his throat. To cover for his lack of response, he questioned: "But, like… how would that work? What would that entail?"
"Well, your mission, should you choose to accept it," Quatre started with a wink, "Would be to help us plan the wedding, support us when we stress out, get us to the church on time," He interjected a laugh, "And organize a bachelor-party. Just one though, we are not doing separate bachelor-bashes."
Duo nodded. "Okay, cool… I mean: I'd love to. We'd love to."
The couple smiled even though Duo's discomfort was readily apparent.
They talked for a few more minutes, about the wedding of course, and Duo zoned out until Trowa invited him to come down to the garage with him and take one of their new cars for a spin. The American knew he was being taken aside to be questioned about his awkward behavior and possibly scolded, but the prospect appealed more to him than having to get into the discussion of a home-wedding versus a destination-wedding. Duo couldn't even be bothered to pretend to care.
He followed Trowa to the garage and was grateful the tall man didn't rip into him right away and first let him feast on the sight of the brand new, dark blue Mustang Convertible with white racing stripes. "Jesus Christ," He marveled and leaned over the door to inspect the leather interior and the gadgets in the dashboard. It wasn't Heero's style but he knew his partner would get a kick out of seeing the sleek muscle car. The fact that Trowa had invited him to come appraise it and not Heero confirmed that he meant to confront him.
"Want to take her out for a spin? It's an automatic."
Duo scowled. "I can drive a stick."
Trowa let out a laugh at the unintended double innuendo. "Sure you can."
"You know what I mean. Let's go." He barely caught the keys when they were thrown at him.
The two men climbed into the car. The new leather of the seats creaked as they settled into them. The engine rumbled to life and once the automatic garage doors had opened Duo carefully backed it out of the building, passing the Roarunner on the driveway. Duo found the way back to the highway and put more weight on the pedal. The engine growled, a little more hollow than the deep, vibrating sounds the Roadrunner produced, and the car smoothly and effortlessly built up speed. "Fuck yeah!"
Trowa grinned at him, looking relaxed in the passenger seat, with his long, muscled arm draped over the top of the door and his fingers idly touching the side mirror.
Deciding to bring it up himself rather than wait for Trowa to address the proverbial pink elephant, he said: "So, tying the noose huh?"
"What?"
"Tying the knot?" Duo repeated.
"That's not what you said. You said 'tying the noose'."
Duo shot him a sideway glance, frowning deeply. "Did I really? Fuck."
Trowa laughed. "That was a telling slip-up."
"No! I didn't mean anything with that. I just got my colloquialisms mixed up."
"Alright." After absentmindedly telling Duo to take the exit, Trowa continued: "Want to tell me what that weirdness from before was about?"
Duo sighed. "Man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a dick. I'm happy for you two, seriously."
Trowa scoffed. "But?"
He chuckled uncomfortably. "Aren't you guys rushing things a bit?"
"Do you really want to pretend that that's what you're worried about?"
"Hm, perceptive. Touché."
"Learned it from Quatre."
"Yeah… Alright. Okay. Help me understand: why even get married?"
"Why not?"
"Oh, fuck you," He said, knowing the other was messing with him.
"We want everyone to know that we are committed to each other and celebrate that commitment in the process."
"And you aren't afraid of how marriage will change your relationship and you as individuals?" Duo challenged.
"It wouldn't be different. We wouldn't be different."
Duo chuckled. "Said every pre-wedded person ever. But that's bullshit and you know it, and not just because it will definitely change things, but because if you really believed things would stay the same, what would even be the point?"
"Okay, it might change things. But why do you assume this change will be bad?"
"Oh, come on! We all know how it goes, we've seen it happen to straight couples often enough and we – the queer-folk, aren't immune," Duo argued petulantly. "No more clubbing, no more dance parties in the woods, no more recreational drugs, no more excitement, no more sex! I mean, the sex won't go right away, it happens slowly, that's the bitch of wedded life, you don't even realize the sex is going before it's too late. It starts with scheduled sex; every Friday after 'date-night' and only ever in the bed, in the missionary position. And then it withers down to once a month, then only on special occasions and finally it's gone."
"What's wrong with missionary?"
Duo let out a hearty laugh. "Seriously? Of everything I said that's all you heard?" He shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with missionary. There's nothing wrong with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it's fucking delicious, in fact, but a man can't live on PB and J alone."
"While I applaud your clever analogy, I think you're oversimplifying it. Quatre and I both loved clubbing and dancing and getting shit-faced and even getting high on occasion. But we've done all that and we're ready for the next phase in our lives. I don't mind if things mellow down, it's still the next leg of the adventure. Maybe you think it's boring that we probably won't go out as much anymore, but I actually think it's boring to go clubbing every weekend for the rest of my life. I'm ready for a new speed."
Duo recognized the other man meant every word he said and there was nothing wrong with that. But it wasn't the life Duo envied. Duo had yet to grow tired of the dancing, the drinking, the drugs and the thrill of exploring new things, sexually. Of course there were evenings Heero and Duo spent curled up on the couch watching reruns of old sitcoms, or went to birthdays, family barbeques or office parties, but that was just one aspect of their whirlwind, exciting life together and he didn't like it any less or any more than going to an underground party, having sex in public, joining the mile-high club, trying out a threesome and dabbling in some bondage. And the commonly made argument was that a couple didn't need to compromise on fun, they could still do all the things they enjoyed before getting married, but of all his married friends not a single one had ever remained the same. They all morphed into respectable, domesticated men and women, who stayed home on a Friday evening for some reality program, went to bed every night at ten, could monologue about their new electric toothbrush and water pick and adopted pets and children like they were on bulk sale. None of them planned to undergo that change, but eventually they all did.
"Does Heero know how you feel about 'tying the noose'?" Trowa wondered when they neared his Malibu house.
"Don't get things twisted, okay? This isn't about me and Heero, we're cool," He lied. He didn't want Trowa to end up feeling compelled to give Heero a heads up. "You just got me on edge springing this best-man-stuff on me. I really hate weddings."
Trowa looked at him incredulously. "How can you honestly say that? You met Heero at a wedding."
FOUR YEARS EARLIER
He watched the newlywed couple have their first dance to "When a man loves a woman"; their movements clearly practiced. Relena swept across the dance floor with elegance and ease, the full skirt of her designer gown doing a mesmerizing dance of its own as it moved around her with the rustle of tulle and silk. Treize Khushrenada was decidedly less comfortable moving to the rhythm and to the undiscerning eye he might have appeared to mouthing along with the lyrics, when instead, he was counting the steps. His eyebrows pinched together in focus. She would make a good dancer of him yet, Relena was not the kind of woman to settle and Treize was not the kind of man to admit defeat. In each aspect of their lives they would train each other to a level of perfection and they would likely both get a sense of satisfaction out of this and maybe that was why they decided to get married. They were what the socialites would call, a 'smart match'. Still though, they shared about as much chemistry as a pair of sea cucumbers.
Relena Peacecraft was the daughter of a United States Senator, who was slated to be the Republican candidate for the next presidential elections. She went to boarding school in England and met Treize at Oxford university, both studying literature.
Treize Khushrenada was editor in chief of the LA Times – Duo's boss – and a Pulitzer-prize winner. However impressive these credentials, it was his lineage that scored him his betrothal to Bachelorette number 1: Relena Peacecraft. His father was a rich businessman, he stood to inherit the family fortune, and his mother was chairwoman of Unicef; successful and charitable. Treize had the proper pedigree.
What all of this boiled down to? An incredibly dull wedding.
The theme was 'propriety', everything proceeded according to tradition and etiquette. The music was mostly soft and of slow rhythm. The color scheme was purposefully bland to be inoffensive to all. The average age of the guests was well above midlife-crisis. Men wore three-piece suits and women wore gowns, silk gloves and all the jewelry they owned. The banquet was pretentious. The wedding cake was… vanilla.
Duo hated it, as he knew he would. But he could have hardly declined his boss' invitation. Although he suspected that he only got the invite because the bride wanted an even three-hundred for the guest list. So Duo was number 299 – stuffed pork with asparagus - and his date was number 300 – shrimp.
Everyone at the office, including Treize, knew that Duo was gay. The day after he had received his invitation he had been called to Treize's office and the statuesque man was reduced to a red-faced bumbling buffoon until he finally managed to make his request clear: for one night, Duo, don't be gay. He knew Treize meant no offense, in fact he had always gotten interesting vibes from the man that made him wonder if there was any truth to the rumors circling Treize's friendship with Relena's brother Milliardo. To avoid ruffling any feathers, Duo invited his coworker and best-friend Hilde Schbeiker along as his plus-one.
Hilde looked stunning in her navy blue gown with black lace gloves. One of the groomsmen evidently agreed and Duo hadn't seen her since the man had come to ask her to dance.
It was all fun and games when he still had his partner-in-crime with him, to secretly make fun of the other guests and conspire to spike the non-alcoholic punch, but without her there was no distraction from the dull affair.
He sat alone at the table, the place card with his name in delicate, cursive script in front of him. The card for the seat next to his had misspelled Hilde's last name. If being assigned the table in the back, by the door to the kitchen, wasn't already enough of a clue, misspelling her name made it apparent they weren't exactly honored guests. He stopped feeling guilty about getting them a forty-dollar gift-certificate as a wedding present. If Treize had wanted a better gift, he ought to have given him a raise anyway.
Duo glanced down at his watch and wondered when it would be appropriate to leave and what excuse would be most suited. That he had to go in to work tomorrow? Treize could easily debunk that. That he was sick? He surely hadn't appeared sick when he made Hilde nearly wet herself when he was making up names and funny voices for the shrimp on her plate. She couldn't even finish eating 'Broderick' after that and stole some of his asparagus.
He knew he should probably wait for Hilde to drunkenly stumble back to him and then he could leave with the excuse of taking the lady home.
He sincerely hated weddings. They were pompous events, emphasizing the most superficial aspects of a relationship, primarily the bride's beauty and the man's status and wealth. Brides want to be like princesses and lose weight, wear gowns, have their hair and make-up done and stress over unimportant things like floral arrangements and table settings and men waste money buying or renting a suit that they will only wear for that single occasion and be uncomfortable the entire time and fret to say things in the vows that normally wouldn't need to be outspoken if the love is real. Couples spend tens of thousands of dollars to not be themselves for one day! Boys and girls are raised to think that love and commitment are not real without an elaborate party, paperwork and the exchange of expensive rings. It is the stress and strain of this 'special day' that causes the first crack in many relationships. People reveal unattractive things about themselves during the preparations; women are often accused of getting too emotional and greedy and men disappoint their finances when they can't live up to their romantic expectations because they don't care about nosegays versus biedermeier bouquets. And as soon as the high of the wedding has passed, couples start to feel the pressure to hit the next big box. Marriage reduces a relationship to crossing things off a checklist. It's how boys and girls are programmed: fall in love, move in, get engaged, get married, buy a house, have the first kid, have a dog, have the second kid, buy a bigger house, oh-twins-what-a-fun-surprise!, buy a mini-van, organize bake-sales, get that promotion, don't-you-dare-miss-fifth-grade-graduation… Fail at any of these points on the checklist and people end up pitying you.
The one good thing about coming out to his parents at the age of eleven, was that all that pressure and all those expectations were immediately lifted off his shoulders and the only dream his mother ever cherished for him henceforth was to not get AIDS and to please not dance in pink lace body stocking on a gay pride float.
Duo's father even told him that he should consider himself lucky that his life would never be expected to fit into that prefabricated, old-fashioned mold. This advice was not surprising. Maxwell senior had divorced Duo's mother after nine years of an unhappy marriage, ended it with his second wife after five years of cussing and screaming, and got the third marriage annulled after less than two months. He died in a car-accident in his late fifties, no wife, no house, no dog, no mini-van to leave behind. His life was considered a failure, even though he was happy as a clam. Duo's mother remarried and has been with the same uncaring workaholic since, she's miserable but all everyone ever sees is her perfect house, her charming daughters and that fucking mini-van.
He stopped a waiter that came bursting through the kitchen doors asking for a refill of his champagne glass. At least the drinks were topnotch. Still, if he was forced to attend a wedding reception, he preferred cheap booze, upbeat music and laughter to Dom Perignon, stiff conversations and waltzes and foxtrots.
At least his date was having fun, he thought to himself when he caught a glimpse of Hilde and the groomsman on the dance floor. She flashed her coworker a grin and Duo raised his glass at her. If he had wanted someone to sit beside him quietly as they suffered through the occasion, he should have brought anyone but his boisterous friend. Every party was a good party to Hilde.
With a smirk Duo turned his head away and as he was about to take a sip from his new glass of champagne, his eyes suddenly met someone-else's and he stilled with the glass at his lips.
Seated a few tables over, also all by himself, was a handsome man of Duo's age. Piercing blue eyes sparkled with mischief as the man regarded Duo.
Duo took a drink, as casual as he could, while he maintained eye-contact, noticing the other wasn't shying away either. He was a little disappointed when the brother of the bride, Milliardo Peacecraft, approached the blue-eyed man and lay a hand on his shoulder, demanding his attention. Duo observed the man as he talked with Milliardo. His chocolate brown hair was swept back, his golden features were exotic and strikingly offset by the deep blue color of his eyes, he wore a matching blue suit, white shirt and silver tie – a little loosened. There was an intensity about him as he conversed with the tall, blond man; a focus in his eyes and a tightness around the mouth, but no animosity. Milliardo patted his shoulder and walked away. Blue-eyes took a drink, scotch or bourbon, and seemed to have forgotten about Duo.
The American chewed on the inside of his cheek. He watched his own finger trace the rim of his champagne glass, hearing the delicate, hollow note over the romantic music. When he looked up out of curiosity he couldn't fight his smirk discovering blue-eyes was staring at him, amused by something, perhaps by how hopelessly he had been playing with his glass. The eye-contact was undeniably seductive and Duo knew he had found a kindred spirit in the homogenous crowd.
He hesitated for only a moment – 'don't be gay' -, he shook his head and got up from his seat. He never looked anywhere other than in those incredible eyes as he walked over to his table, bringing his champagne with him. He glanced at the place card at the seat next to Blue-eyes and wondered playfully as he idled by the chair: "Do you think… mister Hildreth will mind if I occupy his seat for a little while?"
"I doubt it," The man replied and Duo reveled at his smooth voice. "It doesn't look like his wife will be done with him any time soon." He nodded at a couple on the dance floor.
Duo took a seat in Hildreth's chair. He put away his drink and reached out his hand for a formal introduction: "Duo Maxwell."
"Heero Yuy." He shook his hand firmly.
Duo let his fingers trail down the length of the golden digits before letting go of his hand. "Are you here for the blushing bride or the dashing groom?"
"The blushing bride. What about you?"
"The groom. He's my boss," He made a dismissive gesture. "How do you know Relena?"
Heero took a drink before he replied offhandedly: "We used to date."
Duo blinked at him. He hadn't been expecting that, with the way Heero flirtatiously engaged him. "Aren't you gay?" He blurted. He looked around himself suspiciously as he realized that came out a little louder than intended.
Heero chuckled. "Yes. But back then I thought I could force myself not to be. And Relena still thinks she can force me not to be."
"Excuse me?"
"We went to the same boarding school in England. We dated for two years, until I came out to her. She still thinks it is a phase."
Duo laughed, even though it was also a little sad that she couldn't accept it. Needing to verify if Heero was currently unattached, he inquired nonchalantly: "Did your date dump you, like mine did?"
"Actually, I'm here by myself. I was told there weren't enough seats at the table for me to bring a plus-one…" He rolled his eyes, knowing he had been lied to so he wouldn't embarrass the bride by bringing a date – man nor woman in his case, it seemed Relena still had a bit of a crush on him. "Relena is very worried about appearances."
"Was there anyone you wanted to bring along?" Duo inwardly winced at himself. That was not so nonchalant.
"No."
Since he had shown his hand anyway, he said with a smirk: "Good."
"What about you? You mentioned a date."
Duo pointed his thumb over his shoulder at the dance floor. "She abandoned me to 'dance the night away' with one of the groomsmen. I was explicitly asked not to 'be gay' tonight, so I brought my friend. It doesn't matter much. There was no one else for me to invite anyway."
Heero smiled and leaned in a little closer. Duo felt his heartrate pick up. The smile was a tiny bit crooked; the left corner raised higher than the right. There was something boyish and carefree about and yet those eyes were still so intense, so fierce.
"And how is that working for you?" Heero asked. "Not being gay for one night?"
"It's very boring. I would enjoy myself much more if we would be dancing."
Heero laughed.
Duo was suddenly struck with a mischievous idea. "We should do it. We should dance."
"Relena wouldn't like it."
"I know." He grinned cheekily.
The blue-eyed man looked tempted, but shook his head.
"Come on!" Duo urged. "Next song, we should head out onto the dance floor and slow-dance together. Everyone will flip their shit, it will be hilarious!" Fuck anyone who disagreed, he thought. He was a proud gay man, and he wanted to dance with Heero. It was fine to heed Treize's request when it didn't feel like it compromised him, he wasn't planning on 'being gay' that night anyway, he knew what kind of crowd he was dealing with, but he wasn't going to let anyone's narrow-mindedness stand in the way of getting closer to the attractive man.
Heero was shaking his head at the suggestion but the amusement and mischief apparent on his face convinced Duo to press on.
"You know how to dance, right?"
"I went to an English boarding school," The man in the blue suit deadpanned. "Yes, I know how to dance."
The song that had been playing winded down and effortlessly transitioned into the next and the two man laughed abruptly as they recognized the smooth opening of the soft rock song – very soft. Lady in Red.
"It's perfect!" Duo concluded and he promptly got up from his seat and extended his hand out to the man. "Can I please have this dance?"
"I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight, I've never seen you shine so bright," The singer crooned. "Never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance, looking for a little romance… given half the chance."
Heero looked around himself self-consciously but couldn't help his grin. "Yeah. Okay. Fuck it." He accepted the hand that was offered to him and he let Duo guide him to the center of the dance floor, where they stood amidst couples gently rocking side to side, in each other's arms. With one hand the short-haired man covered his mouth, mortified as the first people started to pay curious and judgmental attention to them.
Duo smiled at him reassuringly and held up his left hand entwined with Heero's right hand and he placed his other hand on the shorter man's waist, maintaining an appropriate distance that reminded him of his awful high school dances.
"Why do you get to lead?" Heero argued jokingly but placed his free hand on Duo's shoulder without further objection.
The American studied the blush on the other's cheeks and the uncomfortable smile on his lips as his blue gaze flitted around them, watching as those surrounding them watched them. They moved slowly in unison to the music. Duo was aware of other people staring, but he didn't pay them any attention and he wasn't put off by the corny and mostly inapplicable lyrics of the songs, instead losing himself to the overall, sentimental, romantic notion of the song; so utterly overwhelming and all-encompassing.
To keep Heero from focusing too much on the bystanders, Duo asked him softly: "So, why an English boarding school?"
"My father sent me there. I was considered a problem child," Heero replied and finally those beautiful eyes found Duo's again.
Duo chuckled. "Yeah, what kind of problems did you cause?"
"Embarrassment. I had kissed a boy."
"Oh."
"He didn't want to deal with it, so he sent me away. When I started dating Relena, he was so happy. It was the only time he had ever told me he was proud of me. I think that's the main reason I let the relationship drag on for as long as I did."
"Are you still in touch with your father?"
He smiled bitterly and shook his head.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine. It's better this way." He let out a sheepish laugh. "People are staring. This woman over your right shoulder is giving me the evil-eye."
"I don't care what people think. I wanted to dance with you."
A small, endearing smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "What about your parents?"
"I don't really have a dramatic coming-out story," Duo admitted. This truth always made him a little uncomfortable because he felt like he had it easy compared to others. "I told my parents I was gay and their response was my first lesson on safe sex."
"A condom and a banana?"
"A big zucchini." He smirked. He let out a laugh when his dance partner raised his eyebrows. "Don't get any ideas. I think they were trying to scare me into abstinence."
"Did they?"
"Definitely not."
Heero's gaze darted off to the side and he cursed under his breath. "Relena is watching. She is going to kill me."
"Relena needs to know that it's not a 'phase'." With a grin Duo pulled him closer to him and let his hand on Heero's back drop a little lower. He smiled as Heero softly pressed his cheek against his and he could feel his body relax.
Maybe it was just the act of defiance that exhilarated him, but Duo could feel his heard thundering in his chest creating pleasant vibrations that spread through his entire body. As Lady in Red melted into a cover of Tony Bennett's The Way You Look Tonight, Duo ended up not resenting weddings for three minutes long, as long as the song lasted. For three minutes he loved the smooth sounds of the cliché wedding song, Heero soft, clean-shaven cheek against his and the soft rustle of fabric as their suits brushed together and his eyes slid closed to lose himself to all of it. The sweet lyrics and the smooth voice of the singer highlighted the sudden shift of the mood between them to the romantic.
Oh, but you're lovely
With your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but
To love you
Just the way you look tonight
The song slowly came to an end. When the final, delicate tone of the piano died out, Heero pulled back and Duo opened his eyes to meet his gaze. A new song must have started to play, but he could hear nothing and he could see nothing beyond those blue eyes. Nobody had ever looked at him like that, so intensely; in fact, Heero didn't look at him, he looked into him. He had never been seen like that. Goosebumps appeared on his skin.
The moment came to an end and Duo took a deep breath.
They shared a silly grin.
"Want to cause a real scandal?" The blue-eyed man wondered.
Duo merely nodded.
Heero didn't elaborate. He led Duo off the dance-floor and out of the ballroom, onto the sprawling balcony lined with a glass balustrade that allowed for an unobstructed, impressive view of the expanse of the ocean that glittered shades of blue in the light of the full moon.
Duo let out an 'oomph' when he was roughly pushed back against a wall, out of sight. Heero closed the distance between them and kissed him passionately without hesitation. The shock of the situation quickly evaporated and Duo wrapped one arm around the slim waist of the other man and with his other hand he cupped the back of his neck and titled his head as he responded with equal fervor – almost desperation – to the kiss. They breathed harshly through their nose, not willing to part for the sake of oxygen. As the kiss continued to intensify, Duo put both hands on Heero's hips and slid them under the jacket of his blue suit, feeling the heated skin and tight build through the thin button-up shirt.
Two older gentlemen wandered onto the balcony for a smoke and startled the two entangled young men. The older men quickly headed back inside and Duo and Heero laughed at their rushed, embarrassed departure.
"Do you have a condom?"
Duo stared at the shorter man, shocked by his question and all its implications. "N-No…"
"Then jerking off in the restrooms will have to do." Heero planted one more urgent kiss on Duo's mouth and then pulled him inside through another set of doors that led into the main hallway.
The American had a better idea, a quick tug-of-war in the John wouldn't do. He informed Heero glibly: "My place is only about a fifteen minute drive from here."
Heero briefly contemplated the options, glancing at the restroom door once before agreeing: "Yeah, let's do that."
Duo nodded curtly and excused himself for a moment. He hurried back into the ballroom to find Hilde, still dancing in the arms of the tall-dark-and-handsome groomsman, and he asked her if it was okay if he cut out the wedding early. Hilde exchanged a look with her dance partner and then replied with a grin: "Don't worry about it. I have a ride home." Duo kissed her on her cheek and then darted back across the ballroom ignoring everybody's stares and the indignant murmurs.
Outside he handed the valet his ticket and once the keys of his old, beat-up car were handed back to him the two of them climbed into the vehicle and Duo sped home. Heero had taken a seat in the backseat, right behind Duo, offering nothing more than a wink in response to the tall man's odd look. After only a few minutes it became clear why Heero had seated himself directly behind the driver's seat. His head appeared over Duo's right shoulder and he kissed and licked at the shell of Duo's ear while his hand appeared in Duo's lap. Nimble, urgent fingers massaged the growing bulge.
The car swerved and Duo cursed when his pants were undone and the warm hand was placed over the outline of his erection in his boxer briefs.
"Don't crash. We're not wearing our seatbelts."
The driver chuckled nervously but the sound evolved into a moan when Heero's thumb teased the tip of his arousal that peeked out of the elastic waistband of his underwear. With his free hand the passenger pulled Duo's long braid over his shoulder and traced his fingers down the length of it. "I love your hair…"
Duo couldn't respond to the compliment. His arousal was pulled free and Heero pumped his tight fist up and down.
Thankfully they soon arrived at the apartment building safe and sound and the two of them stumbled into the elevator on unsteady legs, with hands, mouths, eyes and attention preoccupied.
"What floor?" Heero asked, being the one within reach of the control panel. His lips brushed against Duo's as he spoke.
Duo let out a hearty laugh. "Fuck! If you could stop driving me insane for a moment I might be able to remember."
The other man simply intensified the kiss and when they parted he bit on Duo's bottom lip.
"Fuck… Five… It's five!"
A button was pressed. The elevator moved. They arrived on the fifth floor and struggled to find their way to the front door of Duo's apartment. A neighbor down the hall was having a party and a dull beat resonated in the apartment. It would have annoyed Duo on any other night, but in that moment all he could think of was becoming one with that pounding rhythm and make the bed creak in tune with it and have their moans and cries of passion accompany the track like primal, adlibbed vocals.
They started stripping each other out of their clothing, sharing a breathless laugh when Heero warned him not to pop the buttons of his shirt because it had 'cost a fucking fortune'.
Finally the bed appeared beneath them. Duo toppled backwards onto the mattress and Heero fell on top of him. They continued to kiss, grope, caress and stroke for as long as they could stand it. Then Heero sat up, straddling Duo's hips and he asked for the condoms and lube.
The journalist pointed at the drawer of his nightstand and watched Heero stretch out above him to reach for the supplies they needed. He didn't say anything and curiously wondered how Heero would assign the roles. Usually he had clearly defined preferences – topping almost exclusively – but once in a while he met a guy like Heero, a guy as beautiful and irresistible as Heero wouldn't be denied either way and the positions ceased to matter much to him, he just needed them to be as close as possible and to move as one.
He watched and moaned as Heero rolled the condom down Duo's swollen length, certainly not dissatisfied with his decision.
The other man poured a liberal amount of lubricant into his hand and reached behind himself to quickly prepare himself and then stroked the slick hand up and down Duo's arousal to ensure it was nice and slick. "You don't mind being top, right?"
"No…" Duo frowned at the tremble in his own voice. Before Heero could lower himself onto him he rolled them both over so his soon-to-be-lover was beneath him and he lay between his spread thighs. He kissed him deeply and then pushed inside him in a single, swift thrust. The kiss was interrupted by their moans.
He started slowly, but it wouldn't last and it probably wasn't supposed to last. They moved together ferociously and nipped at each other's lips, jaws and ears while they got louder and louder and drowned out the music from down the hall.
"I'm sorry," The American grunted, "I'm gonna come."
Heero nodded and reached one hand between them to help himself achieve orgasm.
"Don't." Duo grabbed the hand and directed the arm over his shoulders. "I'm going to suck you off after this."
Naturally his lover made no objections to that. He wrapped his arms tightly around Duo's shoulders and one hand gripped the base of his braid. He breathed harshly in his ear and whispered seductively: "Please come. Come deep inside me."
Duo snapped his hips, losing himself to the animalistic urge. He bit down on Heero's shoulder
Heero yelped and the passage tightened around Duo's member. "If you don't come right now I'm going to fucking blow my own load."
With a final cry Duo reached his climax. The contractions at the root of his arousal spread through his entire body, like ripples spreading across a body of water and the intensity of the orgasm left him shaking. He collapsed on top of his partner heavily and buried his nose into the crook of his neck to breathe in the smell of sweat, sex and fading cologne. He allowed himself a moment to rest and wait for his muscles to solidify after being reduced to useless gelatinous blobs under his skin, then he disentangled himself from Heero, got rid of the full condom and repositioned himself between Heero's wantonly spread legs. He kissed and licked at the thighs, tasting sweat and traces of lubricant. He chuckled breathily at the other's needy moans and curses.
He dragged his tongue up the underside of the heavy erection and teased the crown with the pointed tip of his tongue. When he took him into his mouth, Heero cried out and dug his fingers into Duo's thick hair. He bobbed his head up and down, swallowing as much of him as he could while keeping his hand wrapped tightly around the base.
"Oh! Ah! Please, give me a finger or something!"
With a pop he released him and grinned up at him. Or something? He crawled up his body and exchanged a long, open-mouthed kiss with him before reaching for the drawer of his nightstand to retrieve 'or something'. He showed Heero the slim vibrator in a bright purple color and noted the mixture of curiosity and excitement.
Duo sat upright on his knees between Heero's legs and rolled a condom onto the toy as an extra measure for hygienic purposes. The vibrator wasn't very big; certainly not as big as the cock that had just been inside Heero, but it was definitely better than a mere finger. He twisted the end of the toy and it buzzed to life. Keeping it on the lower setting he teased the sensitive head of his lover's erection first, but then slowly moved the toy down to his balls, his perineum and eventually his entrance. He pushed the vibrator into him and Heero nearly howled. He wiped the smirk off his own face and took the twitching erection into his mouth again and sucked on it persistently while he twisted the end of the vibrator further and further until it reached the highest setting and he fucked him with it slowly; focusing the vibrating tip on his prostrate.
Heero warned him that he was close so Duo finished him off with a tight, slick fist, making sure that the vibrator was deep inside him.
The other man gasped for air in the aftermath of his release and looked down his body with a sheepish laugh, noticing the glisten of milky white semen on his own abdomen and chest.
Duo smiled at him and leaned in for a lengthy kiss.
When they parted Heero breathed: "Please take it out of me."
He heeded the request and removed the toy and rid it of the protective latex.
"That's a nice toy. Beats my Xbox." Heero let out a laugh.
The American lay down next to him and ran his hand through the short hair that was damp with sweat. "Hmm. Better than the one you have at home?"
"I don't have a vibrator, or a dildo." At Duo's odd look, Heero explained with a hint of embarrassment: "I'm worried that if I do stuff like that too often I'm going to stretch myself too much."
"Well, you are very tight. But I don't think there is anything wrong with indulging yourself from time to time, even when you're home alone. It's not going to stretch you any more than being fucked by a big dick." He flashed him a wicked grin.
Heero smiled and blew his bangs out of his face. After a few moments of silence he wondered if it was alright if he went into the bathroom to clean himself up.
"Sure. There are clean towels in the cabinet under the sink." He watched his lover climb out of bed and leisurely walk into the bathroom. Heero didn't bother closing the door, there was no point to privacy after that night, and Duo enjoyed the sight of him as he wetted a washcloth in the sink and wiped his torso and thighs clean before drying himself off with a towel. He leaned towards the mirror with a look of concentration and fretted over his hair until he caught sight of the red bite mark on his shoulder and he soothed it with his fingers.
Duo wasn't unfamiliar with casual sex and one-night-stands. As a gay man, he considered it a hard-fought, integral part of his life; the right to fuck whomever he wanted. He frequented clubs and bars for this purpose. But that night was different. Unlike before, Duo didn't want Heero to leave, he didn't feel like they were 'done' yet. For the first time he wanted more than just sex. He wanted to know more about Heero's dad, his awkward dates with Relena, what he did for a living and what he did for fun.
The man walked back into the bedroom. His eyes found Duo's and he pointed at the mark on his shoulder.
"Sorry," Duo said insincerely.
Heero chuckled. He picked up his underwear from the floor and put his briefs on and then searched the room for his pants.
"Why are you getting dressed?" Duo asked dumbly, propping his head up on his hand.
"Because I'm going home."
"Right now?" He glanced at the clock, it was a quarter to midnight. "Who are you, Cinderella?"
The other man snorted and zipped up his pants. "The last train for Oxnard leaves at twelve thirty."
"Oxnard?"
"I live in Oxnard," Heero explained matter-of-factly.
"Oxnard?"
"Yes. It wasn't my choice. I bought an apartment with my boyfriend. He works in Oxnard. Shit-" He paused and shook his head at himself. "My ex-boyfriend." Clearly it was a recent split that he hadn't fully gotten used to yet.
"You still live with your ex-boyfriend?" Duo surmised.
"The place won't sell. Until it does, I'm stuck there."
"Then why would you even want to go back there tonight?" He patted the empty expanse of mattress next to him invitingly. "Stay."
Heero smiled but said nothing and continued buttoning-up his shirt.
"I'll make you a mean breakfast in the morning. After I fuck you again, of course."
"Of course," Heero mirrored jokingly. He tucked his shirt into his pants and picked his discarded jacket up from the chair in the corner.
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"Getting dressed."
"I can't stay, Duo." He sat down on the foot of the bed to put on his shoes.
Duo crawled to the edge and kneeled behind him. He wrapped his strong arms around the man and kissed his neck. "Fuck… I don't know why, but I just can't stand the thought of you leaving."
Heero looked over his shoulder and allowed Duo to kiss him mouth. Unlike their previous kisses, this time their tongues entangled tenderly and unhurriedly. They parted with a sigh and Duo felt a petty sense of bitterness when the other reiterated: "I can't stay." He freed himself from Duo's embrace and got up from the bed.
"Why can't you stay?" He challenged.
The blue-eyed man struggled with an answer for a moment. While making vague gestures with his hands and frowning at his own words, he said: "I don't do relationships right now."
"I'm not asking you to move in with me, I'm asking you to spend the night and… yeah, maybe see what happens?" Duo replied lightheartedly.
"We talked about phases before, right? Obviously, being gay isn't a phase, but I have gone through a couple of phases. I've had the Greyson-phase, the Trowa phase and now I'm just coming out of the Javier-phase," He tried to explain. "I've had three boyfriends, my entire life. I was with them for years and was never single for long between these 'phases'. I've rushed into relationships when I was too young. I need to be on my own for a while. I don't want to string anyone along, or risk falling in love. I do that too easily – fall in love that is – and I don't want to anymore. Right now, I just want to dance, try new things, meet a lot of people and have casual sex with cute guys I meet at weddings. …" He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I'm sorry if that makes me sound like an asshole."
"It makes you sound like me," Duo replied. Duo was the opposite of what Heero had been, he had always partied and enjoyed short-lived flings.
Heero looked down at his watch and cursed. "I'm going to miss my train."
"Let me drive you to the station."
"We would have to leave right now." His eyes pointedly traveled up and down Duo's naked body.
The American wasted no time. He jumped out of bed and put on his pants, not bothering with underwear and he ripped a clean T-shirt out of his dresser and put it on as he already headed towards the front door where he stepped into his sneakers. "Let's go."
They hurried down to the parking garage and Duo raced to the train station. They arrived at the train station less than five minutes too late, but it was still too late. The train had departed. They stood in the large hall, looking around aimlessly. Duo knew there was no point inviting Heero to come back home with him, so he offered to drive him all the way home, to Oxnard.
"Are you sure? It's a three-hour round-trip." He grimaced.
"It's fine. It's my fault that you missed the train. Please, let me drive you home."
Heero reluctantly agreed.
They went back to the car and for the first thirty minutes of the drive they were both silent. The radio station played soft rock songs. Traffic on the freeway was light at the late hour. Duo finally interrupted the quiet. "So, Greyson, Trowa and Javier, huh?"
Orange street lights illuminated Heero's small smile. "Greyson, Trowa and Javier," He confirmed with a single nod.
"What happened?" He cast a sideway glance and noticed Heero making a face. "That bad, or… you just don't want to talk about it?"
"It wasn't that bad. But I didn't know what I was looking for, so it took me too long to realize that I hadn't found it."
"What are you looking for?"
He shrugged and looked out the window into the black countryside. "I guess I still don't know."
"Which is why you don't do relationships right now," Duo concluded. "It also means you might not realize you've found what you're looking for until it's too late."
Heero smiled at him. "Touché." He didn't say anything else.
For the duration of the drive they talked quietly, mostly about the wedding and Duo's job at the L.A. Times. Occasionally Heero interrupted the conversation to give Duo directions as they neared their destination.
Duo stopped the car in front of a brick, three-story apartment building across from a small park and right next to a Starbucks. "This is it?"
"Yeah." Heero remained seated and he looked out the window at the building.
"Is your ex home?"
"No. But I'm not inviting you up," He smirked at him.
Duo shrugged. "Worth a try."
He was silent for a little while and seemed reluctant to get out of the car, but then he finally said: "Thanks for the lift, Duo. And thanks for a great evening."
"Thank you. It was the first time I didn't regret coming to a wedding."
He took a deep breath and then popped the door open and climbed out.
Duo contemplated getting out and walking him to his front door, but it seemed silly and he didn't want to make Heero feel like he was trying to get into his pants – again. He returned a half-hearted wave and watched the man in the blue suit walk up to the building. He tore his gaze away and stared at his fingers on the steering wheel. When he wiggled them he could feel how sweaty his palms were. He didn't understand why he was feeling so nervous and felt like he was making a huge mistake. It wasn't like he believed in love-at-first-sight or any other of those ridiculously romantic notions.
Still, his heart leaped when a finger tapped on the side window and he looked up to see Heero standing there. He quickly rolled down the window and had no time to say or think anything before Heero reconnected their lips for a final, passionate kiss. His golden fingers twisted into the front of Duo's white shirt.
They parted and Duo stared at him, mesmerized.
"Bye," Heero said.
"Bye."
That time Heero really did head into the building. Duo remained parked outside for several more minutes, to unscramble his brain and then the drove home again, deeply lost in thought.
FEBRUARY
Quatre enthusiastically rambled on, sitting backwards in the front passenger seat. His eyes were focused on Heero, in the backseat, next to Duo, as he gave an extensive account of his trouble with putting together a 'well-balanced' guest-list, whatever that was supposed to mean. It was a challenge for Duo to give the man his undivided attention. His gaze was drawn by the rush of cars from the opposite direction; flashes of red, white, silver and blue – oh, a yellow one!
Over the past two weeks the couple had accompanied the two betrothed to any possible venue for their wedding reception. As the best men, their opinion meant a lot to Quatre. Heero kindly allowed himself to be swept up in the excitement and he could listen to the blonde's endless descriptions and questions without betraying any boredom or annoyance. He seemed to really be into it and that worried Duo. Heero provided Quatre with feedback and insight on things Duo had never even thought Heero would have an opinion on.
Last weekend the four of them went to shop for wedding suits and Duo thought it would be a simple matter of having their measurements taken for a standard tuxedo. But the afternoon was consumed by debates. Peaked lapels versus shawl collar. Waistcoats versus cummerbunds. Semi-butterfly bow tie versus straight-end bow tie. Plain toe Balmoral Oxfords versus plain cap-toe Balmoral Oxfords. And when he thought they were done, they went on about cufflinks, pocket squares and boutonnieres!
At the end of the day he suffered a splitting headache. As a gay man, he was not adverse to shopping, but when he walked from Calvin Klein to Prada and from Hugo Boss to Vera Wang, he felt like he was walking across a mine field. At any moment a misstep could occur and someone could innocently wonder if he and Heero ever planned to get married. He didn't want to have that conversation yet, because he feared it would rip apart their relationship. He wasn't ready for that.
When he had agreed to be the best man – did he ever really have any other option? – he knew he would have to be more involved than he wanted to be, but he didn't think it meant spending five weekday evenings in a row rushing through dinner, or even skipping it altogether, with his boyfriend so they could meet up with their friends and drive across LA – in LA traffic! – to pick out the perfect spot for their nuptials and the party afterwards.
Every time Quatre was convinced they had found 'the place'; the perfect place. He showed us pictures he had found online, or pictures from a friend's wedding. So far, all locations failed to live up to his expectations.
Trowa was tireless, he was happy to keep driving them everywhere. Heero seemed perfectly content to be along for the ride. Duo was desperate for the search to be over, before Heero could take him aside at one of these places and quietly tell him that it would be perfect for their wedding one day and that maybe they should sign up for the waiting list just to be sure…
Duo blinked when the car stopped and he spotted a familiar sign with the name of a fancy yacht club in the perfectly groomed lawn. He followed the other three out of the car and after glancing up at the large, immaculate building he shared a look with Heero. Neither of them said anything and trailed after Quatre who 'oohed' and 'aahed' at the sights
The modern estate sprawled along the narrow strip of beach. Palm trees flanked the entry. A representative guided them inside and showed them the two event halls, the biggest of which had a fifteen foot ceiling, modern chandeliers, dark stone floors and on one side archways opened up to a balcony that spanned the entire length of the ballroom and looked out over the beach below and the infinite ocean beyond. To the right were the piers where the yachts and sailboats were docked. The pier to the left could be reserved for the ceremony and was wide and long enough to seat a hundred and fifty guests. The representative explained that the entire bannister lining the pier was wrapped in small lights, combined with the view of the ocean is was perfect for a sunset wedding. The newlyweds would also get the honeymoon suite upstairs.
Quatre and Trowa were taken upstairs to view the suite. Duo and Heero stayed behind in the large ballroom.
"Should we tell them that Relena and Treize had their wedding here?" Heero wondered.
Duo shrugged. "I don't think it matters. They don't know each other. Besides, it was four years ago. It's not like Relena owns this place because she had her first wedding here."
"No, of course not." Heero looked around himself. "Place hasn't changed a bit," He observed.
What was he trying to say? Duo fretted. Was Heero implying that they shouldn't let Trowa and Quatre get married here because it would be perfect for them, one day? He cast his gaze outside, at the steady, rolling motion of the water. The waves didn't crash but instead swept ashore, almost gently. Like a hand smoothing the wrinkles out of the sheets, the ocean leveled the bumps and dips of the sand. He looked back and saw Heero walk to the other end of the ballroom. The Japanese man stopped suddenly and turned to face Duo with a grin.
"This is where we had our first dance."
The sentimental notion made Duo uncomfortable. He simply nodded. "Lady in Red."
"And our second dance…" Heero's voice softened.
"… The Way You Look Tonight." His boyfriend stalked towards him. His footfalls echoed off the walls. Duo stared at him, not knowing what the other was planning to do. He was startled into submission when Heero twisted his fists into the front of Duo's jacket and dragged him out onto the balcony and pushed him back against the wall.
"This is where we had our first kiss." Heero's lips brushed against Duo's as he spoke.
It was clear Heero wanted him to kiss him, in honor of the memory of that night, but Duo was too nervous and too scared of where the conversation might lead. His posture was stiff and he kept his hands pressed tightly against the wall when he would normally envelop Heero with his arms.
"What's wrong?" Heero blinked once and the passion and delight that shone in his eyes were replaced with concern.
"Nothing." But he sidestepped away from between his boyfriend and the wall and walked to the edge of the balcony, pretending to admire the view.
"Duo-"
"I'm just tired, okay?" He looked over his shoulder and offered a smile.
Heero nodded and came to stand by him. Duo could feel his partner looking at him as opposed to the ocean and it was difficult to keep ignoring him, to keep pretending like he didn't feel that gaze burning into his skin and bones. Heero wasn't dense, he could feel the barrier that Duo purposefully inserted between them, but he didn't say anything.
"It's perfect! Isn't it perfect?" Quatre and Trowa returned from their private tour.
"It is," Heero confirmed.
Quatre eyed them both. "Is something going on?"
"Not at all," Duo was quick to assure him.
"You don't like the place?"
"We love it. It's perfect for you guys."
The blond seemed put at ease. "I agree. I think this is it."
The four of them strolled down to the pier while the representative drew up the paperwork for the couple to sign. The sun was setting and the pier lit up with millions of small lights. It was beautiful and Duo was happy for his friends, who walked ahead of him and his boyfriend, hand in hand. But as Heero reached for his hand and entwined their fingers, the American was left feeling uneasy, wondering if Heero wanted them to follow their friends' lead in more than just the literal way, if he envisioned them walking down the pier the way Trowa and Quatre would; like walking down the aisle.
Nearly two hours later they were dropped off in front of their apartment building. Quatre thanked them profusely for their help, as he always did.
"Quatre seemed really happy," Duo noted as the elevator climbed to the top floor.
"Why shouldn't he be? He's getting everything he has ever wanted."
The was no malice or jealousy apparent in the remark, but Duo didn't know what to think of it. He followed Heero to their front door.
Their two story apartment had a modern and industrial décor. Their bed was in the loft upstairs, overlooking the seating area with the sprawling L-shaped couch and the big kitchen with steel appliances and glossy cabinet doors that was easy to keep clean because they hardly ever cooked, aside from a hearty breakfast. Heero's salary paid for most the expenses. He made a tidy sum after working for years developing some of the most popular videogames of the twenty-first century. His skills were highly sought after. Duo, on the other hand, had suffered another pay-cut last quarter, the newspaper was doing worse than ever and he mostly wrote articles for the website nowadays, he hardly ever saw his work in print anymore. It hurt his soul more than it hurt his ego. Still, the thought that popped in mind was that if he would get fired, he might be expected to marry Heero for the health benefits alone… That sounded better to him than marrying 'for love', at least there was a purpose to it, but he knew he was an asshole for thinking that.
He dropped down onto the couch and watched Heero fetch them two beers from the fridge.
As Trowa had waited for New Year's Eve, the perfect time to pop the question, he had hidden the box with the ring in one of his shoes. That morning, Duo noticed his favorite pair of boots weren't where he had left them. He wondered if Heero had gone through all of his shoes, hoping to find a similar surprise.
His shook his head at his own paranoia and accepted the beer that was handed to him.
Heero sat down next to him, leaning against him. He placed his free hand on his lover's thigh, as casual as you please. "Do you want to go out tonight? We could grab a bite to eat and then go dance at Crave."
Duo nodded. He was eager for them to go out and he was happy that Heero was the one to suggest it. They always went out, several times a week, but lately they had been so busy being dragged all over LA by the betrothed couple that they hadn't had the time or energy. It was too quiet and domestic for Duo's liking. A couple of nights on the couch was fine, but he didn't want it to be the norm. He needed that beat that vibrated his chest, he needed the heat of the men surrounding them and he needed the thrill of making Heero fade them all away with a single look, that left them alone on the dance floor and dancing to the matched rhythms of their hearts. It was the most powerful, most satisfying release he had ever experienced: to have all those men feast their hungry gazes on his boyfriend, but all Heero would see was him, all of him, and every atom was titillated to be seen. That was what made Duo fall in love with him that very first night and that was the feeling he wanted to hang on to.
Change cared him, because change was such an indiscriminate force. Everything in life was so interwoven, not one thing could be changed without affecting something else; a single thread is pulled and the entire pattern distorts.
They had to keep dancing.
After separate showers and changing into different clothes, they went out to a casual café for a late dinner, had drinks at a bar and arrived at Crave around midnight. They each downed two shots of tequila at the bar, served by the handsome, shirtless bartender, and then maneuvered through the crowd to find a spot on the dance floor. The heat was sweltering, produced by the swarm of dancing men. Before long they both started to sweat, but the overpowering heat of it was part of the fun. Sweat trickled down Heero's temples, staining his hair dark, and beaded on his upper lip. Duo could feel droplets on his own face and his shirt was wet under his arms and damp on his back. With Heero pressed tightly against him, the heat couldn't escape his body, but that was the point. It would build and build and nothing would be better than to have sex in the backroom and then step out into the cool air of the night – or early morning. Some nights they would do drugs, shamelessly watch others or include one or two more guys for a casual threesome or foursome – kissing and hand jobs mostly, but not always. Anal sex was the only thing they agreed should be exclusively between the two of them. It was exciting to Duo to see his lover kiss another man, to see the way he kissed from a different angle, to see his hand give another man pleasure and have that man be passionately jealous of him, or to have sex with him while Heero had his dick sucked by someone else.
When he had first met Heero, those things weren't a part of Heero's life, but he had wanted them to be. It took the Greyson-, Trowa- and Javier-phase for him to figure out that the domestic, completely monogamous lifestyle wasn't for him. Duo had been happy to introduce him to this new, electrifying life.
A few days after Relena's wedding, Duo sent a cheeky gift to Heero's address: a vibrator. 'Think of me', the note had read. Duo realized afterwards that the present might have been more stalker-y than intended. He didn't hear from him for a long time and many times he thought of stopping by to apologize for the inappropriate gift and to explain that he had meant it to be funny and cute. He had decided against it, only because that might make him seem like even more of a stalker. He was very surprised when, weeks later, his desk phone rang at one in the afternoon and he answered to hear the most delicious string of moans. In the background he could hear the soft humming of the vibrator. In the blink of an eye he was rock hard and he scurried towards the supply closet. The impromptu phone-sex left him quivering. Once they had both caught their breath, they agreed to meet for coffee. Duo drove down to Oxnard and Heero was waiting for him in front of the Starbucks right by his home, but as soon as they laid eyes on each other, they were no longer in the mood for coffee. They stumbled upstairs to Heero's apartment – luckily, Javier wasn't home – and they didn't even make it to the bedroom. He fucked the Japanese man against the kitchen counter.
Afterwards, they went for coffee. Heero made it clear that he wasn't looking to start a 'Duo-phase'. It would be a casual, open 'relationship' – he used those words with actual air-quotations. He had been the dutiful, devoted, docile partner his entire life and he needed a change. Duo didn't like change, but it wasn't very different from the life he had been living for the past decade, during which times his greatest commitments had been to past fuckbuddies; the only 'serious relationships' he ever had. He welcomed the opportunity to have more of Heero. He accepted that he wasn't the only lover in his life and he didn't stop picking up guys at clubs himself either.
After a while though, he realized that none of those men were able to fulfill his needs. While in the throes of passion with them, he would see Heero's face and hear Heero's moans and afterwards it was always hugely disappointing to find out it had been an illusion and he ended up yearning for the real thing. It wasn't uncommon for him to drive straight to Oxnard to have sex with Heero at his place, or in the alley behind the building whenever Javier was home. That was how desperate matters had become.
The apartment in Oxnard sold and Duo helped Heero find an apartment in LA. One of his colleagues was going to Tibet for a year, to study in a Buddhist monastery – one of those pretentious assholes who went on a journey of self-discovery only because their Facebook status-updates would be that much cooler once they got back – Heero subletted the guy's apartment. That was when they really started to date. When they realized they were both dissatisfied with their flings on the side, they had a very grounded discussion about it and agreed to be committed and exclusive, but they could still enjoy the company of others as long as the partner was there. It was rare, but they did at times use that spice to fuel the heat of their sex-life.
Heero was perfect. One of his most attractive qualities was that he could be so passionate about everything. Duo's articles, news of recent events, art in a museum or on a crumbling wall on the streets, people, food, his work, their love-making... Duo loved his intense stare, the frown of his eyebrows and the tightness in his mouth – and he loved watching it all melt away as he came undone amidst his orgasm. It didn't take him long to figure out he was in love with him and yet Heero had been the first to say 'I love you'.
After three years, Duo was certain: he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Heero. The only way he thought he could properly ask him to spend forever with him, was to ask him to come live with him.
LAST YEAR
"But what do you think?" Duo pressed.
Heero shrugged and looked around himself one more time. "It's nice, although the bedroom is very cramped, but my opinion really shouldn't matter. If you like the place, then sign the lease."
The realtor tapped her foot impatiently. The three of them were standing at the center of the fourth apartment, she had listed all the benefits and perks for her sales pitch in a single breath, but Duo wouldn't be impressed until Heero was. His boyfriend didn't know it yet, but as soon as they would find something he liked, Duo planned to propose for him to move in with him.
"The floors are nice," Heero offered, as he surmised something was expected of him, but he didn't know what.
"Do you like the kitchen?"
"I don't cook, so I don't know. You are the one poaching eggs at seven in the morning. What do you think of the kitchen?" He shot back.
Clearly this wasn't the dream apartment Duo was looking for for the two of them. He shared a look with the realtor and with a sigh she led them out of the apartment. "I think that's it for today," She said as they headed for the elevator. "I don't have anything else lined up in this neighborhood."
"It's not exactly a nice neighborhood," Heero pointed out, trying to console Duo.
"The industrial neighborhood keeps the prices low. It's too far away from the clubs, bars, shopping district and schools to attract a lot of buyers," The realtor informed. "In fact, come to think of it, there is one more place…" She trailed off.
"Yes?" Said the two men in unison.
"I could show you the penthouse of this building." She stepped into the elevator and the men followed her in.
Heero shook his head when he caught sight of Duo's excited expression. "You can't afford a penthouse on your salary, Duo. Regardless of the neighborhood."
But they could probably afford it with their incomes combined, Duo thought to himself. Boldly, he pressed the button on the control panel for the penthouse.
The realtor forced on a smile. It was evident she wasn't excited about showing them the penthouse since she overheard Duo would likely not be able to finance it. The elevator doors opened to reveal a single hallway, with doors on either end. The door to the left was labeled PH-A and the door to the right was PH-B. She took them to Pent House B. She unlocked the door and stepped aside to let them in.
The American wasn't even paying attention to the surroundings, he was watching his boyfriend's reaction closely. He smiled when he noted the amazement apparent on his features.
The apartment was split into two levels: an expansive main floor and a bedroom loft upstairs. The dark, hardwood floors stretched from the modern kitchen to the wall-to-wall industrial windows on the other end. The vaulted ceiling was high above them, angling up towards the loft. Narrow skylights between the massive steel beams of the roof cast squares of blue moonlight on the polished floor.
The realtor dryly performed her duties, pointing them to the kitchen with cooking island, showing them the large bathroom and separate toilet, the spare bedroom and the walk-in-closet and the loft up the cast-iron stairs that overlooked the entire living area downstairs. "It's been on the market for a while. It's a steal, but still more than you were looking to spend."
"Can you excuse us for a moment?" Duo asked her sweetly.
"Sure," She spun on her heels and trotted out of the apartment, putting her cellphone to her ear.
Duo waited for her to close the door behind her before he turned to Heero. "Do you like this one?"
"It's amazing," He said breathlessly, still slack-jawed. "But you can't afford it."
Duo ignored him and mused: "My bed would look great up on that loft. To finally get it out of that hole-in-the-wall bedroom I have. And those windows are perfect for those dark curtains that I wanted to get, but you said would make my living room look smaller."
"Even smaller," Heero corrected smartly. "I said it would make your living room look 'even smaller'."
"I can get the dresser my dad made out of storage and put it right here," He pointed at one of the walls. "And hang the Van Gogh reproduction right above it. The red behind the almond blossom would go really well with the dark curtains and the light wood of the dresser." He smiled at him.
The Japanese man cocked his head to the side. "The Van Gogh is mine."
"Yes."
"And you hate it."
"It's very red!" Duo defended his earlier, outspoken opinion on the replica. "But the curtains would balance it out, I think."
Heero smiled nervously as it dawned on him what his lover was getting at.
The American walked towards him. "Heero, living together is going to be very hard. That painting is going to be the first of many compromises. Fuck, we are going to annoy the shit out of each other."
Heero chuckled.
"I'll leave socks all over the place. I'll take my filthy, piece of shit bike up here. My hair will clog the shower drain. My coffee cup will leave rings on everything, everything! And you will spend too much time on your computer. You'll hog the sheets when it's cold and for some inexplicable reason you will want to cuddle when it's too fucking hot. You'll wake me up every goddamn morning at fuck-o-clock because you have a bladder the size of a peanut... But I know I will always love you and I think I know you will always love me too. Even when you'll find a sock in the couch cushions. We will fight, but I promise you, I will always make it right… and the make-up sex will be mind-blowing."
He let out a laugh. "It better be. Your socks are disgusting."
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He offered a sheepish smile and then lowered himself down on one knee. "And, if you agree, I'd like us to start that life here. Together, we can afford it. We can make anything happen as long as we're together." He reached down and fished a small box out of his jeans' pocket. When he looked up he could see the shock written on Heero's features. But inside the box was not a ring. He presented Heero with a simple, silver keychain. "Will you, Heero Yuy, come live with me?"
For the longest moment all Heero did was stare.
Uncomfortable and nervous at being kept waiting, Duo joked: "Please say yes. Because my back still hurts from last night," He winked, "and I'd like to get up from the floor."
The Japanese man laughed and helped him up to his feet. With a small smile he accepted the keychain and mockingly slid the ring of it onto his ring finger, which Duo took as a sign that he understood the significance of what Duo was asking him. "I'd love nothing more than to go to sleep with you every night… and wake up with you every morning at 'fuck-o-clock' for a piss."
Relieved and overcome with a surge of happiness Duo rushed to wrap his arms around his partner. He feverishly kissed his neck, his jaw and finally connected their mouth.
"I love you, Duo," The Japanese man murmured against his lips.
"I love you."
EARLY MARCH
Indiscriminate voices from the television filled the large apartment with sound. Neither men was paying much attention to the news cast, they quietly ate their take-out Chinese food straight from the cardboard containers; Heero with chopsticks, Duo with the provided plastic spork and knife. The Japanese man was seated on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. Duo was on the couch, sitting Indian style, with a dish towel draped over his legs so he wouldn't ruin his jeans or the couch if the spilled anything.
The mood was… different. Not bad, at least, Duo didn't think so. They weren't fighting, not yet, anyway, but there was a scathing lack of comfort between them and the silences that never used to bother Duo – Heero was never very talkative, so he had grown accustomed to the silence, even appreciative of it – they bothered him now. They made him anxious.
What is he thinking? Duo wondered inwardly. He had been asking himself that question a lot lately. Heero had always been much of a charismatic mystery to him and it had been part of what attracted him to the other man. Being with Heero always reminded him of Christmas morning; being surrounded by wrapped gifts, not knowing what kinds of presents he was getting was part of the excitement, finally getting to unwrap them was thrilling. But anticipation was replaced with dread.
What was he thinking when he looked at me last week when we were at Quatre and Trowa's house and the two of them dotingly exchanged kisses as they cooked dinner?
What was he thinking that morning when I saw him absentmindedly toying with the keychain I had symbolically given him last year?
What is he thinking right now, as the news reports on Christians demonstrating at a gay wedding?
"How are the wontons?" Duo asked, hoping to distract him from the news segment.
Heero shrugged. "Good, but a little greasy."
"You're too skinny anyway," Duo joked, but his smile fell from his face when his lover shot him an odd look.
"Do you really think so?" He looked down at himself, at his casual, loose-fitting T-shirt and dark jeans.
"Of course not, you look great!" It was the truth, but the twitch in Heero's eyebrows betrayed that he was unconvinced. Duo had no idea he would strike a nerve with his casual remark. He never knew him to be self-conscious about his appearance, after all, looking the way he did, he had no reason to be self-conscious.
Blue eyes looked back at the TV and he finished his meal of wontons and lo mein.
When they were both done Duo cleared away the mess and returned to the sitting area with two bottles of beer. He nudged Heero's shoulder with the cold bottle to get his attention and handed it to him with a calculated smile.
The atmosphere was definitely bad now.
Halfway into a game-show that Duo wasn't even paying attention to, Heero started: "We should probably start planning the bachelor party."
The American couldn't stop a groan from pushing past his lips and he shot back irritably: "Can we not talk about that goddamn wedding for one night?" He didn't mean to snap, but he had been on edge for weeks now and the evening was already plenty awkward, without having to worry about wedding-talk in this post 'Hyphenation Incident' relationship.
Heero stared at him, uncomfortably long.
"I'm sorry," He grunted, "But I'm just so done with this wedding. I want one night off. One night when we don't talk about table settings, floor plans, vegetarian alternatives to the menu, or if they should have the napkins folded into hearts or fucking swans!"
"Why are you being so childish about it? Trowa and Quatre just want to share this with us, it is important to them. And they've given us a huge responsibility with this bachelor party, we can't just rent a keg of beer, it has to be special. We need to plan."
"Please, baby," He sunk down from the couch, onto the floor and kneeled by Heero. "I can't stand that word anymore. Special this. Special that. I need a break. I'm sorry. Can't you plan this party? I'll help, I promise, just tell me what to do and I'll do it. But I can't… I'm already having trouble caring about all this shit."
Heero's jaw clenched visibly. "Shit?"
Duo sighed and scrubbed his face. "God. I don't mean… Don't blow this out of proportion. I'm just tired. I don't care anymore."
"Why are you being such an asshole?"
"I'm trying not to be."
"Try harder," Heero seethed. "I'm tired too, you know? But they're our friends, and they want us to be involved in their goddamn 'special' day."
He slumped back against the couch in defeat. He didn't know what to say to make things right.
"Is it that you don't care about this wedding anymore, or that you don't care about me anymore?"
Duo blinked at the unexpected, poignant question. He noticed the flicker of hurt in those blue eyes and he felt an instant stab in his heart. "Of course I still care about you. You're my boyfriend!" He nearly winced at the term, he had been carefully avoiding that word for the past few weeks, fearing it would spark a discussion about 'the next phase in their relationship'.
Heero scoffed. "What am I supposed to think? Don't think I don't notice how weird you've been lately."
Duo looked away guiltily.
"Don't think I don't notice how uncomfortable you get whenever we make love, or when I tell you I love you. What are you trying to hide from me?" He demanded.
"Nothing!"
Heero reeled back at the unconvincing lie. With his eyebrows pinched together, midway between anger and confusion, he questioned: "Is there someone else?"
His heart broke realizing how much his attitude of the past few weeks had hurt Heero and had left him so insecure that he had to question his fidelity. He reached out and cupped Heero's face in both hands. His partner tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let him and he forced him to look him in the eyes. "There is only you," He assured him.
Heero recognized it as the truth and he relaxed a little.
"I love you so much," He said and his voice cracked with emotion. He leaned in and kissed him tenderly and was relieved that Heero returned the kiss.
But the kiss ended abruptly and Heero got up from the floor. "I'll plan the party by myself," He said in a resigned tone and then he headed for the bathroom.
Duo stared at the closed door. He never meant to make Heero feel bad. The whole reason he had been acting weird was exactly because he didn't want them to end up fighting. Yet he didn't feel like he could explain his behavior to Heero without setting off the chain of events that he feared would ruin their relationships. Heero was really into all that 'wedding-stuff', it was becoming increasingly apparent that the Japanese man would be upset to find out a marriage for him and Duo was never on the table. It was unfair to keep him in the dark, Duo felt like he was stringing him along, but he couldn't tell him that he never intended to marry him. Not only would it wreck them, it would also negatively affect Quatre and Trowa's wedding. It wasn't the right time to drop that bomb. But as soon as the festivities would come to an end, Duo knew he had to have that talk with Heero. He resented that, until then, he couldn't even really get to enjoy his lover's company the way he wanted to, with everyone being so preoccupied with the upcoming nuptials. It tainted everything, even though he didn't mean to let it. It was like someone constantly poking at a sore wound.
LATE MARCH
The four of them stood amidst a sea of a flowers. The colorful assortment created a seemingly endless maze in what had seemed to be such a small shop judging by the front of the building. The racks with buckets filled with flowers were taller than Duo, taller than Trowa, even. The shop employee showed them around with unbridled enthusiasm, which was probably just her default state of being. She showed off the wide range of their product, from common daisies, to Dutch tulips, to exotic orchids.
They were looking for flower arrangements to decorate the tables and the aisle for the ceremony and for corsages for the wedding party. As had been the case with everything on the checklist, Quatre had trouble making up his mind and the shop employee was an enabler as she kept pointing out new things.
"What do you think, Duo?" The blond asked him.
Duo blinked at him and stared at the flowers – which he did not recognize – the other was holding. "Uhh, yeah, those are nice."
Quatre looked at him like he had just said something crazy and Duo didn't understand why. Although, yeah, maybe in hindsight the combination of red and bright yellow was a bit too much. "Trowa?"
Trowa looked as lost as Duo, but made more of an effort and replied: "I prefer a lot of colors together, instead of one color being overpowering… Like this, I like this," He pointed to one of the pre-made bouquets; a combination of many wild-flowers in soft shades of blue, pink and lilac, with a pop of burgundy.
"Really?" The choice surprised Quatre but it appeared he approved. As he got a closer look at the bouquet, he noted that although he liked the combination of colors, he didn't like the kind of flowers used in the arrangement.
The employee asked him what kind of flowers he preferred and he was stumped for an answer.
"I don't know. There is so much choice!" He looked to Heero with a hint of desperation. "What do you think?"
Heero picked a large, light pink flower with an abundance of soft, subtly frilled petals. "I like these." He touched the petals to his lips as he smelled the flower.
Duo noted how beautiful he looked in that moment, but it only broke his heart. He wants this, Duo thought to himself bitterly. He wants to pick out flowers for a wedding; for our wedding.
"Peonies?" Quatre made a face. "They're pretty, but the name sounds so odd. Peony. 'Rose' or 'lily' sounds more romantic."
Agitated by the incessant back and forth, Duo snapped: "Jesus, Quat! You're not naming your first-born child after the flower arrangements on your wedding day, so what the fuck does it matter what the names of the flowers sound like? Just pick already."
They all stared at him in shock. The girl even had her mouth agape.
"Fuck… Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that."
Quatre shook his head. "No, it's fine. You're right. I'm overthinking this." He took a closer look at the peony Heero was still holding and decided: "They are very pretty. I like them."
The employee snapped out of it and suggested a combination with pale blue hydrangeas, dark fuchsia chrysanthemums, light grey branches of dusty miller and the classic baby's breath, imitating the color scheme of the bouquet Trowa had pointed to earlier. Agreeing with the suggested choices, they found a seat in the back and the girl mocked up several styles of arrangements. Duo stood by idly, with his arms folded in front of his chest. Heero was still in the aisle behind him, his fingers caressing the petals of the peony while he stared into thin air.
Again, Duo caught himself wondering: What is he thinking right now?
He's probably thinking I behaved like a total asshole, Duo berated himself and he felt his posture deflate, his shoulders hanging. He took a deep breath and reluctantly approached his boyfriend. He didn't really know what to say, he just knew something had to be said. They couldn't stand there in total silence, waiting for Quatre and Trowa to finish with the consultation. "So, baby pink, huh?" He tried casually, nodding at the peony Heero held by the stem.
Blue eyes looked up at him, betraying nothing.
"Is that Relena rubbing off on you, after all those years?" The American joked. Relena had a preference for pink – might as well call it a predisposition. The pink peony with it's romantic, soft petals and subtle, blushing shade reminded Duo of her wedding, where pink had been the theme and the tables were decorated with lush bouquets of pink peonies, there must have been over fifty of the large flowers in each of the arrangements.
"It has nothing to do with Relena," He said rather wryly. He put the flower back with the others, the stem submerging in the water in the clear bucket. He started wandering through the aisles and Duo followed him for a few minutes until he realized he was being purposefully ignored and his presence only served to make Heero frustrated and tense.
The long haired man walked back to the table in the corner where the betrothed couple was finishing up with the shop employee. The young woman looked very excited, obviously she had just been informed of the scope and the budget of the order the two men would be placing. They signed paperwork and paid part of the price up front without batting an eye.
"Where's Heero?"
"Huh?" Duo blinked and awoke from his pensive trance to find Trowa looking over his shoulder at him with one eyebrow quirked in question. "I-…" He looked around the store and didn't see his partner anywhere. "I don't know." It was embarrassing to admit that, he felt like a shitty boyfriend. He could tell Trowa and Quatre were aware of the tensions between Heero and him and even though none of them had yet to say anything about it, he could feel their quiet judgment.
"Oh, he's outside," Trowa pointed out, after he must have spotted him on the sidewalk through the front window of the shop. He touched Quatre on the small of his back before stepping outside to join Heero.
Duo stared at them. Heero and Trowa exchanged only few words, they never talked much, everything between them was non-verbal. Duo noticed a long time ago how the two would always stand a little closer together than they would with anybody else – anybody they weren't romantically involved with – and it had never bothered him because their relationship hadn't worked out and Heero had chosen him instead. But lately, it irked him, because now he knew that Trowa could have given him something that Duo refused to give him and Heero had to regret that to some extent. Duo never knew what happened between them to break them up after four years, all Heero ever said on the matter was that they were 'too alike in every way that didn't matter' and 'too different in the things that mattered most'. His tone had been definitive, Duo knew not to ask, because Heero wouldn't tell. The Japanese man never said much of his ex-boyfriends, too conscious about not accidentally betraying someone's trust.
The store clerk left for a moment to print out some additional receipts and information and since he was left alone with his friend, Duo felt the need to apologize again for his outburst. "I shouldn't have lost my cool like that, Quat. I'm really sorry."
"Oh, God, Duo…" He chuckled. "You were right. I'm starting to get out of control with all this stuff. I'm overcomplicating things. I'm so focused on making everything perfect and special, that I'm actually taking away some of the beauty of it. I mean, a wedding is a simple thing, it's supposed to be anyway. It's about love. I get so hung up in the details that I mustn't forget that love is the most important thing. It's just so easy to lose myself in the details…" Quatre shook his head.
"Why, is there something wrong with the love-part?" He glanced at the two outside.
Quatre frowned at him. "Not at all. It's just tempting to want to control everything when the most beautiful and honest thing about a wedding is the part that no one has any control over. And that's love."
"Maybe you should put that in your vows," Duo said with a shrug.
"Do you really think so? Should I write that down?" He was already typing things on his phone, but with his lips pressed into a tight line.
"Any trouble with the vows?"
"Actually, yes." He sighed and blew his bangs out of his face. "I just know Trowa is going to say something short and sweet and powerful and perfect and I'm going to put people to sleep with a monologue of adverbs and superlatives…"
"I'm sure that whatever you decide to say, will be exactly what Tro needed to hear." Duo smiled at him.
"Thanks." The shorter man smiled back.
The clerk returned with a neat folder with the logo of the shop that she handed to Quatre before politely saying her goodbye.
Mostly ignoring her – and she eventually left to tend to a new customer – Quatre addressed him: "What is going on between you and Heero? The two of you are so tense."
"Oh… God. Let's… let's not get into that." He ran his hand through his hair.
"So something is wrong?" The tone of his voice pitched towards concerned.
He wrapped his arms around himself and after trying his damnest to avoid eye contact he finally shot his friend an uncomfortable look.
"Did you ask Heero to marry you?"
Duo frowned at the question and replied: "Of course not." Quatre didn't really know of his aversion to marriage. Just like with Heero, the subject had never come up and he sure as Hell wasn't going to tell him now, assuming Trowa hadn't already spilled his dirty little secret.
"Oh. Alright. It just seems like it is the topic of our wedding that is making you so on edge, so I thought maybe you might be considering…"
"No. I'll leave the wedding bells to you and Tro."
"What is it then?"
If he told Quatre what was going on the blond would fret and meddle, albeit with the best intentions, and Duo was most comfortable with leaving things as they were for the time being and not picking at any scabs, furthermore, he didn't want to cast a shadow on Quatre's pre-wedding-bliss by causing him concern about the relationship between his best friends. "Helping you guys plan is just taking up a little more headspace than I thought. You know how things are at work for me. It's easy to rub me the wrong way nowadays," He explained lightheartedly. "It's causing some friction, that's all."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any trouble for you guys."
Shit! Duo bit his lip at seeing his friend's guilty expression. "No, it's not like that at all. We're happy to help. Honored! I'm just tired and crabby and I'm lashing out when I have no right to. I'll be fine. We'll be fine," He stressed and he was relieved to see Quatre was reassured by the lie.
The four of them went out to dinner together, Quatre insisted. And for all intents and purposes it was a lovely evening and beer aided to ease the atmosphere to a comfortable, familiar mood. The happy couple dropped them off at their apartment building late at night. To save time they showered together and wound up lazily exchanging kisses in the spacious shower stall. Both too tired and too drunk for elaborate foreplay and sex, they jerked each other off under the hot spray. They fell asleep in bed, naked, lying flush against each other. It was all Duo could ever want, but it was bittersweet.
He left for work early the next day. He treaded around the bedroom loft on the tips of his toes as Heero slept soundly. Before heading out the door, he checked Heero's shoes, neatly lined up in their walk-in-closet. Lately, he had become a bit paranoid that Heero might plan on asking him to marry him, but the shoes were empty.
Seated at his grey desk, he was uninspired. He was supposed to be following up on an event he covered yesterday; a career convention aimed at helping those who have been unemployed for an extended period of time. He had collected phone numbers from some of the people he met there and should be calling them to flesh out their anecdotes for the story, but he didn't feel like talking to anybody. Instead, he toyed with the pictures he had taken at the convention. Recently, he didn't even get the budget to take a proper photographer with him and he was expected to supply his own visual material to accompany the article, armed with nothing more than his own smartphone. They sold the idea as an 'urban, unpolished, social-media-style' perspective on the coverage, which he knew to be bullshit. The deadline was set at five o'clock, that was when the articles went to the press, but he watched time tick away in the lower right corner of his computer screen.
WuFei plopped down the corner of his desk, shaking the pencils in the cup and knocking over his picture frame. Duo took care to put the picture of him and Heero upright again before looking up at his colleague.
"You covered the get-back-on-the-horse career fair, right?" The Chinese man asked with a glitter of something mischievous in his black eyes.
"It's called the 'Unemployment Eliminators Career Fair'," He informed him dryly. He knew what was coming.
"Did you get some helpful tips? God knows we are all going to be out of a job before long." He smiled crookedly.
"I have a rich boyfriend," Duo joked.
"Right. Better marry that money, just to be sure." He patted him on the shoulder, to indicate he had no ill-intentions, he was just messing with him. Then he strode off to his own desk.
The American released a deep sigh and stared at the picture on his desk. Everything always circled back to that: marriage. Times had changed so drastically that now even a 'queer like him' was expected to tie the knot. Even if they survived Trowa's and Quatre's wedding, soon everyone would start prodding them anyway. It would never be something he could just casually ignore and hope Heero would forget about it.
"Duo!"
He jumped up and looked across the bullpen at Treize waving him over. His hands went clammy instantly and he stalked over to the editor's office.
Treize had taken a seat at his desk again and was reading through Duo's article. About every line of text had a red mark or note by it.
Duo took a seat across from him and waited for his boss to look up at him and address him. Until then he studied the organized chaos on the desk and was distracted by Treize's own picture frame, angled so that he could barely see it, but when he inconspicuously leaned to the left he could scrutinize the picture of Treize's wedding, that is: his unofficial wedding ceremony with Milliardo Peacecraft, last year, after only recently divorcing Relena. Quite the scandal.
"It's just the first draft," Duo reminded him when he finished reading through it a second time.
"I know. It's a good start. I know I can count on you." He offered him a smile. He handed the article with his notes back to Duo and then broke the news: "I'm not including the article in the newspaper tomorrow."
Duo had expected this the moment he was called into his office. It was starting to become the norm. Still, he couldn't help but argue: "Unemployment is a really hot topic nowadays. A lot of people need help getting back on their feet, getting their careers back on track. This article could really grab people's attention."
Treize shook his head. "We're going to give Sports another page and playing on the results from our focus group we are setting up a new 'social media section' that's getting half a page. That doesn't leave a lot of space for events and entertainment and since there was that video game convention and the buzz around this new comic book movie… I can't squeeze in a downer piece on an unemployment convention."
"It's an anti-unemployment convention. And I can put a more positive spin on it! It could be shorter too. Give me seven hundred words! Five hundred words!"
"I'm sorry, Duo."
Duo stared at him, his eyes shamelessly pleading. "I haven't been published since the fifth of January. Please, boss."
"All your articles have been published online, Duo. And they are performing very well. People are still reading your work."
"It's not the same. You know it's not the same."
"I'm sorry."
"If you're sorry then why did you give me the career fair and not the video game convention?" He demanded. His frustration blended into anger.
"With Heero's involvement in one of the biggest games of the year, it could be considered a conflict of interest."
He snorted.
"To be frank, the competing gaming software company is a bigger advertisement contract for us, so the article was always supposed to lean towards their new game. I'm sure Heero wouldn't have liked you writing in favor of the competition anyway."
"Wow…" He toyed with the corner of the worthless piece of paper – his article – in his lap. "Journalism really is dead."
"Have your article finished by the end of the day. We will publish it online. You do realize more people read the online articles than the actual printed newspaper, right?"
"It's still not the same…"
"The money is the same."
"Yeah. Thanks." He got up and shuffled back to his desk.
He knew he should be more open to the idea of being published online. It was the way of the future, after all, an unstoppable evolution. But Duo didn't like change.
APRIL
"Honey! I'm home!" Duo called with a hint of unmalicious cynicism as he stepped through the front door of their apartment. He received no reply but when he stopped to listen he could hear the shower running.
He made his way to the kitchen with the big bouquet of pink peonies. On his way home from the flower shop he had realized that they didn't even have a vase for flowers, they weren't really the flowers-type, but it felt like the best possible peace-offering. From the cupboard he retrieved the large lemonade pitcher and filled that up with lukewarm tap water. After some consideration he decided the bouquet would be most prominent on the cooking island, where the light, velvety pink would contrast with the dark, glossy countertop and cabinets.
Things were better between them now that the wedding of their friends was only a week away and most of the points on the to-do list had been checked off. He figured the flowers would help ease away the last of the tension. Just because he would never make Heero a blushing bride – it was still so odd to think that he could want that… Quatre, sure… but Heero? – he could offer him some romance.
He appraised the orb of pink peonies with satisfaction evident on his features. There was nothing wrong with a little bit of sappy romance every now and then. If he had known sooner that such gestures were what Heero wanted, he would have brought home flowers sooner and more often. Of course he could hardly expect the flowers to solve the real unbalance in their relationship. Flowers can't replace a wedding, a marriage, he knew that, but maybe little things like that could buy him a few more years with Heero.
A few minutes after the shower had been turned off, his lover emerged from the bathroom in black underwear and one of Duo's T-shirts, that was too big on him. His hair was wet and brushed out of his face, he looked so different whenever he did that.
"Hey, baby," Duo greeted him with a light peck on his lips and briefly letting his hand wander around the slim waist. When he pulled back Heero caught sight of the bouquet in the kitchen and he was stunned.
Almost apprehensively he approached the light pink arrangement and studied the flowers with a measure of distrust. "What's this for?"
"For you."
"Why?"
"Just 'cause." He shrugged. "You like pink peonies, right?"
"Sure. Thanks." He strode past the cooking island to the refrigerator and fetched a bottle of water.
Duo was surprised and, admittedly, disappointed. Although, in hindsight, he wasn't sure what he had expected, they were only goddamn flowers after all, but he didn't think Heero would be this aloof about it. He felt silly all of a sudden. "I made reservations at our favorite place," He tried.
The Japanese man frowned. "Am I forgetting an anniversary of some kind?"
"No. I just thought… A man's gotta eat." He forced on a smirk.
"Quatre and Trowa are coming by tonight. Trowa offered to cook."
"Oh."
"They'll be here in about half an hour."
Frustrated and bitter, Duo shot back: "Couldn't you have texted me that they were coming over? I would have come home a little sooner, so I would have had more time to get ready." And I wouldn't have driven across town to that flower shop for nothing, he thought to himself.
"What's the big deal? Their our friends, they come over all the time. What would you need to get ready for? As if they care about your five-o-clock shadow."
"I'm going to take a shower. And shave," He sneered childishly and he stomped into the walk-in-closet for a fresh change of clothes and then locked himself into the bathroom.
By the time he was done, purposefully stalling as he took his time washing his hair and grooming himself, his friends had already arrived. He opened the door of the bathroom to be greeted by the smell of Trowa's impressive cooking and Quatre rushing up to him to say hello.
"Took you long enough," The blond joked with a wink, hinting at a more naughty reason why his shower ran long.
"This hair is not low-maintenance," The American explained. He joined Trowa in the kitchen and patted him on the shoulder as a way of greeting and then stole a taste of the sauce he was brewing.
Heero was shuttling dishes, glasses and cutlery to the coffee table where satin pillows on the floor served as seats.
While the blue-eyed man was out of earshot, Quatre nodded at the pitcher with the peonies and remarked: "Nice."
"Special occasion?" Trowa wondered.
"No."
The tall man shrugged and returned his attention to the stove.
"How is work going?"
Duo made a face. "Good, I guess. My story got top notation on the home page last weekend. And it's one of the most read articles of the month."
"Great! The food truck festival?"
"No, spring festival. Good music."
"God, Duo, you are so lucky," Quatre said dreamily, "Your job is literally going to all these fun events."
"Not all are fun. Like that Fetish last year, with the suspension shows and the furries." He shuddered at the memory.
Trowa announced that dinner was ready and they all filled up their plates and topped off their wine glasses before taking a seat on the floor at the coffee table. The food was gratuitously praised and a second bottle of wine – white – accompanied the sweet dessert.
"So… okay, I know you were probably hoping to not talk about the wedding for one evening," Quatre started with a guilty expression, "But we really need your help with one last thing."
"Sure, Quatre. Anything," Heero said without batting an eye.
Quatre produced his smartphone from his pocket and after asking for permission he wirelessly connected it to our sound system. "We still have to find the perfect song for our first dance. I totally forgot about it, until the band manager called me yesterday and asked what song we wanted for our first dance." His thumb moved rapidly across the screen. "We've narrowed it down to these options. We wanted something classic and slow. Nothing showy or flashy."
The first song started to play, the chords soft and swelling only marginally before the raspy vocals of Louis Armstrong started: "I see trees of green, red roses too…"
Duo noted how intently Quatre was studying his face for an honest reaction. He offered the only advice he could give: "I've heard this at weddings before but I always thought his voice is a little grating for such a soft, romantic song. The lyrics are optimistic, but he sounds almost… sad." He raised his hands in defense, "That's only my opinion, though. It's a beautiful song, obviously."
Quatre nodded. "What do you think, Heero?"
Heero looked a little uncomfortable with passing judgment, he didn't want to say the wrong thing and ruin a song they might have already fallen in love with. "It's great but not necessarily a wedding song. It's optimistic, but not romantic. It's not about love."
"Good point. Okay, next-"
"Hold on," Duo interrupted. "What do you think? I mean, this is supposed to be your decision. It shouldn't really matter what we, or anyone else, thinks."
"I know, but I really appreciate the help. Otherwise I can't possibly be expected to pick between these songs, I love them all. It's actually a good point that 'Wonderful World' isn't really about romantic love." He skipped ahead to the next track.
A piano started playing and was the only instrument to accompany Joe Cocker as he sang: "You are so beautiful to me".
The four of them took a moment to carefully listen to the song and they readily agreed that there was too much focus on the word 'beautiful', it was a little over-the-top.
The next piano ballad filled the living room and Duo's body went tense when he instantly recognized the delicate chords. He shot a look at his partner to find him already looking at him, with a small, sad smile on his lips.
"I love this song," Quatre breathed.
"It's a really good song." Duo nodded in agreement.
Heero's lips drew tight. After a moment of confliction evident on his features, he started apologetically: "Actually, Quatre, if it's all the same to you… I've always considered this our song," He pointed at himself and at his boyfriend. "I'm not saying you can't use it. If you want it, you should. But I'd appreciate it if this could stay 'our song'."
Duo swallowed the lump in his throat.
"Of course! I had no idea, I wouldn't have even considered it otherwise!" Quatre leaned in curiously. "What's the story behind the song?"
"It's from when we first met," Heero explained, "We danced to it at Relena's wedding."
"Aw, your first dance," The blonde swooned. He was always the hopeless romantic.
"Actually, we had our first dance to 'Lady in Red'," Duo interjected.
Quatre and Trowa both chuckled at the bemusing image of either one of them in a red dress.
"Relena and Treize had told us to 'not be gay' for the evening, to avoid ruffling any feathers. But Duo asked me to dance anyway. It was quite exciting to defiantly upset the established order. We got a lot of looks that night."
"I just really wanted to dance with you," Duo said softly.
"You guys! Why have you been holding out on me with this story? I thought you guys were friends with benefits first."
"We were. We didn't see each other for a long time after that first night. Mister Yuy over here still had some wild oats to sow." Duo smirked at him.
"You didn't mind helping me sow them," Heero teased.
"Spare us the details," Trowa interrupted with a laugh. "Let's just pick a song and then we can all go back to our oats in private."
The next two options were dismissed because they were prominently featured in popular movies and the association with the characters and the actors was too strong to ignore. Eventually they narrowed it down to two choices and Etta James' 'At Last' was chosen in favor of 'I can't help falling in love with you' by Elvis Presley because it was slightly more upbeat and, as such, a better fit for them.
Quatre insisted on hearing more about the night Duo and Heero met, but the American brushed off his inquiries by pointing out things got very 'porn-y' very quickly. Around midnight they ushered them out of the penthouse apartment, after finishing a third bottle of wine.
Heero went upstairs to get ready for bed. With a cheeky smile Duo looked up Tony Bennett's song in his own playlist and he started the song, loud enough to be heard crisply up in the loft, but not so loud as to diminish the soft, understated quality of the melody and the vocals. He waited, looking up at the loft and his smile brightened when Heero appeared and leaned his elbows on the wrought iron bannister lining the edge.
"Would you like to dance?" The taller man offered, already swinging his hips to the music. "I promise I will let you lead this time."
Heero chuckled. He looked away for a moment and when he fixed his eyes on the other again his eyes were dark and sultry. "Actually, I'd like to skip ahead to the 'porn-y' bit."
Duo didn't need to be told twice, he could not ignore the pleasant tingles running up and down his spine. He pressed 'pause' on the remote and hurried up the stairs, taking it two steps at a time.
He didn't expect it, but Heero was all over him right away, fusing their lips together and grinding his pelvis against his. His hands roughly kneaded the flesh of his chest, his sides and his ass. Duo knew what it meant when Heero was being forceful with him like that and he wasn't disappointed.
"Help me out of these clothes, will you?"
Heero growled in response and literally ripped the button-up shirt off his body, buttons shooting every which way, some falling all the way down to the living room level.
Not disappointed at all. The Japanese man was always equally passionate, eager and willing and he happily – greedily even – assumed the receptive role during their lovemaking more often than not, but Duo loved how primal and ferocious his lover could get when he was in the mood for something different. He never truly enjoyed being dominated by any other man, but Heero was the exception.
He laughed when his partner shoved his jeans down his legs, leaving him in just his underwear, like Heero. The laughter died in his throat when Heero mouthed his erection through the black fabric of his boxer briefs. One hand was between his legs; the palm cupped his balls while the long fingers pressed into the cleft of his behind and teased his opening. He was rid of his underwear and howled when Heero took him into his mouth and expertly slid his lips all the way down to the base.
"Oh, fuck!" He dug both hands into Heero's wild hair, twisting his fingers into the chocolate brown mass, but taking care not to constrict or dictate his movements. Heero gave excellent head, he didn't intend on disturbing the process.
He deep throated him a couple more times, pausing to pay attention to the crown whenever he needed some air. Once Duo stood on unsteady legs Heero straightened up and claimed his mouth again while pushing his lover towards the bed. At the edge of the bed Duo was spun around and he felt Heero's clothed erection rock into his ass only briefly before he was pushed face-first onto the mattress. He laughed as he landed with a bounce and crawled further up the bed. Lying prone on the bed, resting his cheek on the pillow that he hugged to himself with strong arms, Duo wondered: "Are you going to fuck me, baby?"
"Yes, I'm going to fuck you."
Heero's low tone caused him to shiver. He listened as his lover retrieved the lube from the nightstand. Now that they were – mostly – monogamous, they didn't use condoms anymore. It was always a thrill every time he got to mark Heero as his and every time he was marked.
The mattress dipped and moved as Heero climbed on top of him to straddle his thighs. Duo let out a low, drawn out moan when one strong hand was placed on the small of his back and a single, slick finger started to tease him and then pushed inside.
When a second digit entered him, Duo said: "Not too much prep, babe. I really want to feel your cock stretch me." He gasped when the two fingers started to massage his prostrate and he had a feeling it was Heero's way of rewarding him for his outspoken, vulgar desire. He rocked his hips slightly, pushing his ass back against the fingers and rubbing his erection against the sheets for some much needed friction.
The fingers retreated and with a familiar click the bottle of lube was popped open once again. Duo clenched his fingers around the fistfuls of pillow he was holding onto. He managed to relax himself when he felt the head of Heero's arousal against his hole and he stretched to accommodate him rather easily and without much pain. He bit his bottom lip to keep himself quiet as he reveled at the sound of Heero's deep, vibrating groan. For a moment he regretted that he couldn't see his lover's face, whether he was top or bottom, he always loved seeing the other man's face.
Heero's lips descended onto his ear, lightly kissing and nipping at the shell while his hot breath swept across Duo's cheek. The rhythm of his hips was slow at first, making their coupling last longer. Heero always had more self-control than Duo. Whenever they really wanted to make their love-making last, Heero was the one in charge, either as the top or straddling Duo to ride his dick.
The hurriedness of their foreplay was gone and Heero took his time slowly building up their rhythm. His only response to Duo's pathetic pleas for more – Faster! Harder! – were breathy chuckles and searing kisses on the back of his neck or his shoulders.
When his thrusts finally evolved to be so powerful they shook the bed, Duo was wailing without shame.
"Is this hard enough for you?" Heero asked slyly, punctuating his words with deep, mighty thrusts.
"Ohhh… Fuck you, Yuy…" He moaned. He was soaking the pillow with saliva and he knew he was wetting the sheets with an excess amount of pre-come. He was reduced to an animal of sensation only and it was incredible and no one else had ever succeeded in making him feel that way. He felt completely unraveled, like his brain was once a coiled wire and Heero had untangled it, straightened it out and now he plucked at the tight wire like the string of a guitar, repeating the same sensual chord over and over. It was like losing all sense of one's self, getting lost only to find something that you never realized was missing and you never realized you needed, until you did.
Heero dropped his head and placed a wet kiss between his shoulder blades. Before long the pitch of his moans changed and the rhythm built towards a climax. "Wanna finish with sixty-nine?" He offered.
"No, I want you to come inside me."
"Ah!" He snarled against the sweaty back of his partner, Duo felt his teeth rake his skin. Heero's shouted his lover's name as he reached his orgasm. Duo felt him erupt and clenched and unclenched his channel to milk him.
Heero's breaths came out ragged and felt like piping hot steam against Duo's back. He lowered himself onto Duo, his hips making only slight, rolling motions as he rode out the last wave of his orgasm. Spent and exhausted he rolled off his partner.
Duo smirked at him and turned over to lie on his back. Heero lay on his side and scooted closer to press himself against him, resting his cheek against his shoulder. A golden hand lazily caressed his abdomen. "So I gotta finish myself off, huh?" The American teased.
"I offered to sixty-nine."
Duo chuckled, then unceremoniously wrapped his fist around his neglected erection and started jerking himself off, knowing it wouldn't take much. Heero's butterfly kisses on his shoulder and his fingers ghosting over the ripple of his abdominal muscles made reaching his climax all too easy. He watched his own, milky white passion spill onto his stomach.
Heero retrieved a tissue from the nightstand and cleaned the semen off his torso with it, but he leaned down and used his tongue to lick the droplets from the hypersensitive, red head of his manhood.
"Fucking hell." Once Heero had disposed of the tissue Duo cupped his face in his hands and plundered his mouth. "I love you, Heero," He said against his lips. "I love you so much."
"I know. I love you too."
"I'm sorry for being an ass earlier."
"I know."
Heero fell asleep lying flush against him.
He ran his hand through the untamable hair. His heartrate returned to normal.
He didn't want this to ever change. He didn't like change. The thing was – and he should have realized this sooner – no change was as big and as insufferable as losing Heero. He feared the way marriage could change their relationship, but at least they would still be together, he would still get to kiss him and hold him as he slept. Heero would still make him lose himself and regard him with those intense eyes. He couldn't stand the thought of another man giving Heero what he wanted, making him happy in ways he refused to out of selfishness and fear. Over the past four years, the blue-eyed man had given him everything he had ever wanted and needed and so much more, it was unfair to hold out on him. Heero deserved to be loved and cherished in the way that he considered completely and ultimately; if that meant a wedding, if that meant vows, if that meant peonies and matching tuxedo's, if that meant a house in the suburbs, if that meant a white picket fence, he should have that. He should have all of it.
Duo didn't like having to change and he didn't like the idea of their relationship changing, but more than anything, he didn't want Heero to change. Not for him. Not for anyone. He shouldn't have to let go of a part of himself. Duo would rather change himself to fit Heero, than vice versa.
Maybe it wouldn't last, the way Duo's parents' marriage didn't last, or any of his father's marriages, but the point was he had to try.
He would never understand why Heero needed the validation of a piece of paper and a dated ceremony when their love was already as pure and devoted as it could be, but it didn't matter.
If he wanted to be Heero Yuy-Maxwell, Duo wasn't going to deny him that.
THE WEDDING DAY
"Looking good, Blondie," Duo said with a smile as he straightened the tuxedo over Quatre's shoulders and appraised his reflection in the full length mirror.
Quatre stared at himself with an uncertain expression. "Yeah? So white wouldn't have been better?"
"No. Black is a classic. Turn around, your bowtie is a little crooked."
Quatre spun around and let his best man adjust his tie.
"Pretty nervous, huh?" Duo teased and he playfully slapped his cheek.
"Is that wrong? Does that mean something bad?" He made a face at himself. "I didn't expect to be nervous like this."
"It's perfectly fine," The taller man assured him. "It's a big deal, it's okay to be anxious." Duo could relate to that. "I'm sure you'll feel better as soon as you walk down the aisle with him."
The other released a deep breath. "I just hope nothing changes between us."
Duo lets out a laugh and adds mildly: "Things will be different. But in a good way." He wasn't exactly sure, but he had to believe that and he had to say it out loud, not just for Quatre's sake but also for his own.
"Is it too fast? It's too fast, isn't it?"
"Stop fretting!" He pinched his cheeks to bring some color to his pale complexion. "You want to be with Trowa forever, right?"
"Yes," He breathed and a small smile appeared.
"Then let's go out there and tell him and everybody else that."
His smile brightened and he leaned in for a tight hug. "Thanks, Duo. You are the best best man."
Duo laughed and patted him on the back before letting go. "Yeah?"
"Definitely. I was a little worried that you might not be cut out for it, given how you feel about marriage…"
The American frowned. "You know about that?"
"Well, I figured a long time ago and you didn't exactly hide it well these past couple of months."
"Sorry, I know I've been ass…" He shook his head at himself.
"It's okay. It was actually helpful to have someone level-headed around, to keep me from going full bride-zilla. And it means a lot to me that you are here with me right now, saying the things I need to hear. I really appreciate it. And the bachelor party was perfect also. Trowa was a little scared you would have insisted on strippers."
"The bachelor party was all Heero. He planned everything, I just helped set things up. I probably would have insisted in strippers."
The blond man laughed. "Well, thanks anyway.'
"Sure thing." He smirked and he added as a nervous after thought: "Maybe you can return the favor someday."
Quatre snorted. "Yeah, right. You and Heero."
He didn't say anything. It wasn't the time to get into it. It wasn't the time to tell him of his decision. He offered his friend his arm and guided him out of the hotel room of the yacht club.
A hundred guests – closest friends and relatives – had gathered on the pier, waiting for the ceremony to start. They were a little late, but only fashionably so. After the ceremony was an elegant sit-down dinner and after that two hundred more guests were invited to join them for the party. Employees were still busy setting everything up in the main event ballroom.
They made their way outside, to a small courtyard circled with palm trees, just out of sight from the awaiting guests. Luck was on their side, it was a perfect day; clear skies, the slightest breeze and a comfortable temperature. With the help of the yacht club event planner everything had been set up without a hitch. A white train of fabric marked the aisle to the end of the pier, flanked on either side by fifty white chairs decorated with blue hydrangeas, pink peonies and fuchsia chrysanthemums. At the end of the aisle, build especially for the occasion, was a little, white gazebo, the wooden pillars wrapped in white silk and bows of silver tulle. A string quartet, the artists dressed in all white, would play a variation on 'La Vie en Rose' as they walked down the aisle.
Trowa and Heero were already waiting for them in the small courtyard.
Duo watched Trowa's face closely as he and Quatre stepped outside and the tall man looked like the happiest man alive, so wholly in love. It was a little enviable. The American exchanged a smile with his lover.
Heero came to stand next to him. "Do I look okay?" He looked down at himself and adjusted the collar of his jacket.
"'Okay'? Before the night is through I'm going to have to change my shirt because you will give me a nosebleed." He appraised his fitted tuxedo in the darkest shade of blue with a white shirt and white bowtie. His hair was brushed out of his face, the style was still casual, but less unruly than his usual mop of hair. When Heero smiled at him he looked even better.
He gave him a sweet peck on his cheek and then turned back to face their friends. "Ready?"
Trowa and Quatre nodded in unison.
Duo took hold of Heero's hand and they started down the wooden path towards the pier. The string quartet started playing on cue and all guests turned in their seats. It was a little uncomfortable to have everyone stare at them, as if it was them who were getting married that day, but he felt put at ease when Heero squeezed his hand a little more tightly and he smiled at him.
At the end of the aisle, in front of the ceremony master, they parted. Duo gave Heero a quick, chaste kiss on his lips before assuming his position to the left and Heero stood to the right.
Everyone turned around again when Trowa and Quatre came walking down the aisle, arm in arm. Duo smiled when he noticed every trace of anxiety was gone from Quatre's features. He looked ready and excited, with an endearing blush to his cheeks and an infectious smile. He looked so happy. He wanted that for Heero.
He cast a sideway glance at his boyfriend, smiling so earnestly. His eyes were even tearing up a little.
The couple reached the end of the aisle and stood facing each other in front of the ceremony master, under the gazebo, holding hands and staring into each other's eyes.
"Dear friends and family," The ceremony master started. "We have gathered here today to unify in heart and soul this blessed couple; Trowa Barton and Quatre Raberba Winner. They stand before us today to honor and celebrate their commitment and thank you for your love and support."
Duo's eyes met Heero's and they smiled at each other.
The ceremony master continued, sharing a few anecdotes, and gave Quatre's father and Trowa's sister the opportunity to give the pair something old, something new, and Heero and Duo gave them something burrowed and something blue.
"Trowa and Quatre have prepared their own vows." He nodded at the taller one of the two to start.
Trowa took a deep breath and opened with: "I'm not a man of many words."
The crowd chuckled.
"I vow to speak when words are needed, but when I can't find the right words, remember what I promise you today: I will always love you. Trust that my silences will always be filled with unspoken love and gratitude and that I daydream only of spending the rest of my life with you. I know you will continue to make my dreams come true."
Tears were streaming down Quatre's face and Trowa reached up a hand to wipe them away.
"Shit, I need a second," The blond said with shaky breath and the guests chuckled in unison again. He took a deep breath and said his own vows. "When you look at me, you don't see my imperfections, you don't see my shortcomings. I want to be the man that you see and I promise you that I will strive to be him, to be all that you want and deserve. When I'm with you, I feel stronger, I feel braver, I even feel a little taller. Together, we can do anything and everything. I say my vows not as promises, but as privileges; I get to make you laugh, I get to make you happy, I get to celebrate your triumphs with you, I get to comfort you when things get rough, I get to build a life with you, I get to love you. Thank you for letting me."
Trowa leaned in for a short, sweet kiss and the ceremony master joked: "Hold on, not until I say so!"
Once the rumbling laughter died down, Quatre's young stepsister was signaled to get up from her front row seat. Her mother adjusted her frilly, white dress and the blond curls of her hair before sending her up to her big brother with an encouraging whisper. She presented the couple with a small, satin pillow that had the wedding rings pinned to it.
Trowa took the smaller ring off the cushion and repeated the pre-approved words that were fed to him by the ceremony master as he slid the ring onto Quatre's finger. "I promise to encourage your compassion… I promise to nurture your dreams… I promise to help shoulder your burdens…I promise to be your partner in every endeavor… I promise to love you, even when you don't love yourself. This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things."
Quatre took the ring from his sister and gave her a peck on the cheek before straightening up and vowing: "I promise to be your ally in conflict… your accomplice in mischief… your comrade in adventure… I promise I will be a fearless student and a patient teacher… I promise to love you, as your lover and as your most loyal friend. This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things." He slid the wedding band onto his partner's ring fingers.
"By the power invested in me by the five Supreme Court judges who know what love means, I now pronounce you husband and husband." He paused for effect and then said with a smirk: "Now you may kiss your spouse."
Trowa wasted no time in leaned in for an ecstatic kiss, pressing their smiling lips together.
The crowd rose from their seats and applauded them as they walked back down the aisle hand in hand. Duo and Heero followed closely behind.
After the wedding pictures, the reception, the dinner, the arrival of the other guests, cutting the massive cake and people – including Duo and Heero – making speeches in honor of the newlyweds, the couple had their first dance.
Rather than playing a recording of "At Last", the band played the song live and hearing the male vocalist perform the song made it all the more fitting.
Catherine, Trowa's sister, had appointed herself as the photographer and swooped in now and then to capture the tender moment on film but made sure not to interfere.
Duo leaned in closer to Heero, looking at the couple over his partner's shoulder. He whispered in his hear: "They look really happy, huh?"
"Yeah. I'm so glad everything went so well. They deserve for this day to be perfect." He looked back at him with a mischievous sparkle. "Your speech was good too."
"Yeah?" He smiled in return.
"It was very romantic. I wasn't expecting that from you. No lewd comments about the wedding night either."
"I'm glad you approve. I've been listening to a lot of sappy love songs these past few days, looking for the right words."
"Well, you found them. It was exactly what they needed to hear. You know, after you were such an asshole during the preparations these last few weeks."
"That's exactly why the speech had to be great. I had to make up for that and show my support."
Heero pursed his lips. "Did you-…" He looked back at the dancing couple. Quatre had rested his head on Trowa's shoulder. "Did you really mean what you said?"
Duo played dumb. "Which part?"
"When you said that seeing the way Quatre and Trowa looked at each other when they walked down the aisle made you realize the beauty of a wedding and that all the little things that go into planning a day like this highlight their love and commitment," He paraphrased. He never took his eyes off the dancing couple.
"I'm a recovering cynic, yes." He placed a kiss on Heero's neck, whishing he would turn so he could see his face.
The song came to an end and everyone rose out of their seats to applaud the couple.
Quatre walked to the podium and asked the singer for the microphone. With a silly smile he addressed the crowd. "I'm so grateful that you have all come here tonight to celebrate our marriage and to drink the free booze."
The crowd laughed and many raised their glasses.
"But there are two people that Trowa and I would like to thank in particular." His aquamarine eyes shifted between their two best men. "This day would not have been possible without the help of our best friends: Duo and Heero. And not just because they tirelessly helped us plan this celebration, but more importantly because Trowa and I would have never met if they hadn't introduced us. I know for a fact Trowa would never have agreed to go on a date with me if Duo hadn't blackmailed Heero into making Trowa ask me out…" He laughed at himself and the guests joined in. "Through the years they always had faith in us as individuals and in us as a couple. They are the best men, in every sense of the word."
Duo buried his face in his hands, embarrassed to be receiving such attention.
"Duo, Heero… To say thank you, Trowa and I would like to give you this moment to celebrate your love." He made a little bow and shot them a cheeky smile before handing the microphone back to the singer up on the stage.
Duo's heart skipped a beat when the woman behind the keyboard started to play and the guitarist lightly strummed his instrument.
Quatre and Trowa cleared the dance floor and the blonde gestured for them to get up and dance.
Heero shot an uncertain look over his shoulder.
The American smiled and got up from his seat and offered his boyfriend his hand. "You know how to dance, right?" He asked, repeating his tease from four years ago.
Heero smirked and reluctantly accepted his hand and let him guide him to the center of the dance floor. They danced the way they did that first time, with Duo taking the lead, slowly shuffling their feet and swaying their bodies together.
"Someday," The singer drawled in his sultry voice, "When I'm awfully low. When the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you… and the way you look tonight."
Duo stared into Heero's beautiful eyes, that could still make the world around them disappear, even with three hundred guests watching them. He smiled at him, coaxing him to smile back, shyly. "There is nothing for me but to love you," Duo sang along softly, his voice barely a whisper. Heero's smile brightened. "With each word, your tenderness grows… tearing my fear apart…"
The Japanese man adjusted his hands, sliding them up over Duo's shoulders. Duo responded by wrapping his arms around his waist, holding him closer to him. He rested his forehead against his. Heero peered up at him through dark, thick lashes and every time he blinked Duo's heart skipped a beat.
"Lovely… Never, never change," Duo continued breathlessly but was silenced by his lover softly merging their lips together.
"Just the way you look tonight… Mmmm… Just the way you look… tonight." The singer concluded and after a final note of the keyboard the music stopped. People applauded them and then more couples joined them on the dance floor as the band started in on the next song: "Lady in Red".
Duo and Heero shared a laugh. "Wanna cause a real scandal?" Duo asked, this time copying Heero's words from the night they first met.
The other nodded and let himself be guided off the dance floor and onto the balcony.
Stepping outside Duo took a deep breath. He could taste the salt of the ocean in the air. Waves crashed onto the shore and the reflection of the lit-up pier was distorted in the unruly surface of the black water. The air was cooling but Heero pressed himself against him, locking heat between their bodies, to let it smolder until it would spontaneously set alight. Distracted by his boyfriend's mouth and the soft sounds he was making in appreciation of their kiss, Duo forgot all about his intentions and encircled Heero with his arms. He pushed him back a little, so they would be out of sight from the crowd inside. The band finished playing Lady in Red and switched it up with something upbeat and fast-paced, something guests who could actually dance could show off to. The white-noise of the ocean drowned out most of the beat and the laughter and the cheers.
"Let's ditch the party and fuck in that hideously romantic gazebo on the pier," The Japanese man suggested, every word was like a small, teasing kiss as he kept his lips close to Duo's.
"No, wait." Duo distanced himself a little from the other, so his wildly beat heart wouldn't betray him. "There is something I have to say. Something I have to do."
Heero's eyebrows twitched with confusion.
"Maybe it is inappropriate to do this tonight…" He trailed off and shook his head at himself. He took a deep breath. He knew he would be nervous, but he couldn't have anticipated this extreme extent. But he knew what he wanted, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Heero and he would compromise and change himself however he could to achieve that. Needing a moment to organize his thoughts, he kept Heero waiting and he saw concern and fear materialize on his features.
"You're not going to break up with me on their fucking wedding day of all days, right?"
Duo blinked at his boyfriend. "No- Nooo! Of course not. I'm not breaking up with you at all. Why would you even think that?"
Heero's blue gaze shifted towards the ocean. "You've been so weird and distant lately. I don't know what's going on with you. Lately I'm having a hard time figuring out what you want, what you're afraid of…"
"All this wedding stuff made me go a little loopy," He tried to make light of his stand-offish and coarse behavior from the past few months, ever since the 'Hyphenation incident' last Christmas.
"Okay." He made a face, he didn't understand where this was going. "Why?"
"Because you've been so excited about something that I don't care about… frankly. I was worried that we had different expectations of life, or love, of us, and that it would cause a rift between us."
Heero appeared no less confused.
"It took me a while to realize that even though we might be more different than I thought we were and that I thought could work, nothing can cause a rift between us if we don't let it." He looked at him meaningfully.
"Sure," Was the tentative reply. The dark eyebrows only furrowed further. "But… different how?"
Duo took another deep breath and wiped his palms on his pants legs before taking Heero's hands in his. "Okay, I'm just going to say what I need to say." He smiled at him.
The other man smiled back nervously.
He had rehearsed his speech in the mirror often enough and even though, as a writer, he would never by satisfied by anything he managed to put into words, this was not the time for last minute edits and rewrites. "I was standing in the same place for far too long until you came along and you made me move. I've always been afraid of change, but how could I not be moved by you?"
Heero's face changed and his palms were getting just as clammy as Duo's.
"We've been dancing together ever since you first took my hand that night, right here. Sometimes I miss a step and sometimes I fall, but I'm only falling even more in love with you and I won't give up. I don't know what I'm diving into, but I'll let you take the lead. I trust you and there is no fear now."
"Duo-"
The man squeezed his hands and urged him to let him finish. "I don't know how it could ever be any better than this. You give me everything I have ever wanted and ever needed and I want to do the same for you." Ignoring the shell-shocked expression on his partner's face, he lowered himself down onto one knee in front of him. With one hand he let go of him and he fished a small box out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket.
"Oh God," Heero whimpered and with his free hand he covered his mouth.
Duo grinned up at him. "Don't worry, it's not a key chain this time."
"Oh shit… Duo-"
Using his thumb he popped open the little felt box and presented Heero with two black plated titanium rings, with a silver band at the center. No engravings, or stones, just simple wedding bands to serve as engagement rings. Then, finally, he asked: "Heero, will you marry me?"
The other stared at the rings before him. Shock blended into terror and despair.
"If you don't like them, we'll get different ones for the actual wedding anyway," He hurried to explain, misinterpreting his less-than-favorable expression as dissatisfaction with his choice of rings. In the store, three days ago, he had no idea which ones to pick, he thought these were nice and suitably masculine, but maybe Heero had wanted a proper engagement ring, complete with diamond, like Quatre's.
His mouth opened, but all he could produce was a pathetic, hesitant sound.
Duo waited expectantly. His heart was thudding low in his torso, the irregular contractions of the muscle made him nauseous.
"I thought you didn't want to get married…" Heero said in a small voice. "You never… mentioned it… I thought-" His face contorted. He was upset.
"Heero," He started, realizing why his partner might be reluctant to accept his proposal, "I don't want you to feel guilty, or like you're forcing me. It's true that I never entertained the thought of marriage before, but I want to do this. I want to do this for you, for us. Honestly. Anything you want for us, I want it too." He readjusted his grip on his hand and smiled up at him. "Heero, will you marry me?" He repeated in gentle tone.
Heero looked away and it was at that moment that Duo could see the sparkle of tears welling up in his eyes.
"Heero?"
"No," Was the miserable reply.
Duo's heart plummeted. Was it too little, too late? Was this not the right way? Was this not romantic? Were the rings really that bad? "I-… I-…" He could do nothing but stammer. He didn't even have the strength to get up from the ground.
"Duo, I love you, but I don't want to get married."
He blinked. The words echoed in his hollow head. His eyebrows lowered and pinched together into a frown. "You don't want to get married to me?" He tried to make sense of it.
"I don't want to get married," He reiterated. "At all. Ever. It has nothing to do with you! I love you!" He helped the American up on his feet.
Duo stared. The information was impossible to process, it didn't compute. "What are you talking about? Heero, you don't have to say this for my sake, I-"
"I'm saying this for you. I mean it. I've always felt this way. I don't want to get married."
Duo's jaw dropped. "Why not?" He managed.
"I don't need a piece of paper to validate our commitment and our love. It's a huge waste of money too. I'm not going to spend eighty thousand dollars on a party. I'm sorry if you've changed your mind about the whole ordeal, but I haven't."
He started laughing uncontrollably.
"I don't see how this funny. I mean, if you want to get married and I don't, where does that leave us?" He made a face. "Why would you even think I want to get married? I never brought it up."
"Last Christmas, at my office party, you introduced yourself as Heero Yuy-Maxwell. What was that all about if it wasn't a hint?"
Heero stared at him like he was stupid – and, in hindsight, he probably was. "I think people underestimate our relationship when you introduce me as your boyfriend. We shouldn't have to go through all this hoopla to be taken seriously as a couple. I wanted to introduce myself as the person that I feel I am; myself and also part of you, part of 'us'."
Duo's gaze softened.
"If anything I thought it would reaffirm that there is no need for us to have a wedding. I don't feel like I need a piece of paper to get to introduce myself as Yuy-Maxwell."
"And what of the past few months? You've been so excited about this wedding. You were really into it. And you even said getting married is what people normally do when they love each other!"
"Trowa and Quatre are our friends and I know how happy it made them both, that's why I was happy for them. I wasn't excited, I was empathetic. This is something they've always wanted, so I was happy to support and help them achieve that. I think it's a waste of money, but, well… fuck it, Quatre is a billionaire. Anyway, I wasn't going to impose my opinion on their wedding because my opinion doesn't apply to them. Yes, normally, when to people love each other they eventually get married, because normally people want to get married. We are not normal in that sense."
Duo chuckled and shook his head at the massive miscommunication.
"It's still not funny," Heero asserted. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Things didn't work out between Trowa and me because he asked me to marry him and I said 'no'."
His eyes widened at the reveal. "Trowa proposed?"
Heero sighed. "I never said anything because… frankly, it must have been really humiliating and hurtful to Trowa, so I wanted to keep that between us. I'm sorry, clearly, I should have said something." He looked at his lover uncertainly. "So what's going to happen between us now? Do you really want to get married? I'd have to think about that…" He pursed his lips.
"Heero," He put his hands on his shoulders and rubbed them down his arms. He urged him to unfold his arms and took his hands in his. "I did really want to get married, because I really want to do whatever it is I can do to make you happy. If you don't want to get married, I really don't want to get married." He let out a hearty laugh.
Heero rushed forward and embraced him. "It doesn't mean we love each other any less than a couple who would get married."
"I know." He dug his fingers into Heero's hair and pressed his smiling lips against the shell of his ear.
"So this is why you've been acting so on edge, huh?" Heero mumbled against his shoulder.
"Yeah."
Heero detached himself and looked his partner in the eyes. "Let's promise each other to talk about these things next time. Rather than assuming stuff."
"I promise." He leaned in and kissed him passionately, merging their lips together in that way that had become so familiar and yet still excited him.
"What are we going to do with the rings? Do you think you can return them?"
"Actually," Duo grinned, "If you agree that it's not a waste of money, we could wear them. That way everyone will know that you are mine and I am yours, without throwing a party." He nodded at the festivities inside.
"Okay. And you aren't going to freak out when I introduce myself as Heero Yuy-Maxwell again?"
"Promise." Before Heero could take the smaller ring of the two, Duo pulled the box out of reach and he shot him a mischievous look. For the second time that evening, he got down on one knee in front of his lover. He took one of the wedding bands and held it at the tip of Heero's ring finger, not yet sliding it on. "Heero Yuy-Maxwell, will you please spend the rest of your life with me?"
"I will," He said without hesitation.
With a smile he slid the titanium and silver band onto his finger, working it over the second knuckle with only minor difficulty. It was a perfect, secure fit. He handed Heero the other ring and let him ceremoniously put that on his left ring finger. He stood up and kissed his partner once more. Nothing had changed between them and that was the beauty of it. They didn't have to change, they were already perfect together. "Thank you for loving me."
Heero snorted. "You're welcome."
He smirked at him. "How about we head to that 'hideously romantic gazebo' now and consummate this union?"
The Japanese man cast a look back inside and then readily agreed.
Duo took his hand and guided him through the building and down to the beach, following the wooden walkway that they had walked down a few hours before, leading Quatre and Trowa to the aisle. Their fingers toyed and caressed the other's palm. They were giggling now that relief had crashed onto them like the waves onto the shore. The two started down the pier, towards the gazebo at the end. Yacht club employees had yet to clear away the chairs, white cloth aisle and decorations. Even though neither of them wanted or needed a wedding, Duo didn't mind enjoying their friend's leftovers.
In passing he picked a pink peony out of one of the small arrangements tied to the inner chairs lining the 'aisle' – was it still an aisle when the wedding was done? He slid the short stem of the flower into the breast pocket of Heero's dark blue jacket. At his quizzical look, he defended: "There is nothing wrong with a little bit of romance."
"Hm, Quatre will make a sappy romantic of you yet."
He pushed him in response to the taunt. "I promise I won't go full sap on you."
"Then why have you been looking at me like you are about to quote Shakespeare?" He teased. He went ahead to the gazebo and took off his jacket. He ran a hand through his hair, setting the wild locks free.
"I just feel lucky," He replied and he took a moment to watch the ocean breeze play with Heero's bangs.
Heero curled his finger seductively, urging him to close the distance between them. "Let's see how lucky you are."
He stalked towards him, put his hands on his hips and yanked Heero's body against his. When he tried to kiss him, Heero arched his back to lean out of reach and he chuckled breathlessly. Duo felt exhilarated now that the huge weight had been lifted off his shoulder and he already sported a prominent erection that he pressed against his partner to convey his impatience. Heero allowed himself to be kissed, being coy at first before returning the kiss with passion. Duo grabbed Heero's shapely behind and rocked his pelvis against his.
"In a hurry to get back to the party?" Heero's hands wandered, showing off how skilled he was at driving his lover mad with lust.
"I'm so fucking relieved that we feel the same way about weddings," He mumbled against smirking lips. Jokingly, he probed: "Please tell me we feel the same way about having kids as well."
"We want three, right?"
Oh fuck.
Let me know what you think. Would you like a sequel?
PS: I was bored one afternoon and watched a couple of GW episodes after not watching the series for years (when did you guys watch it last?). I added a little nod to one of my favorite 'things' about the series in this story (even though this aspect of the series is criticized by some). Let me know if you caught it. Hint: I watched the English version.
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