Disclaimer: I don't own Blood+.
Claimer: This fan fiction and all its errors are mine.

Always

He promised her always. And she believed him.

"Do you..." Diva began, her head bowed, "really love Saya?" She leaned against the sturdy column draped with blue roses to keep her balance. Her tone, characterized by lethal calmness, was commanding Solomon to confirm her statement. She then stared at the field with great interest, trying to shut out everything from her system. In love, huh? What a foreign term.

How did it feel, exactly, to be in love and to be loved in return?

She didn't know; she had never experienced it before. Ever since the very beginning of her existence, she had been alone. She grew up in solitude, locked up in that cold, quiet tower. Stripped of her rights and the love and care she should have had, uneventful yet tormenting years passed her by slowly. She didn't have, never had had anyone with her. She never had a friend, or at least someone to talk to. She spent time by herself, always wondering if she would be able to see beyond the cold walls of the tower. She was not given the chance to enjoy her childhood, or to believe the princes and princesses in fairytales, or the magical lamp and the three wishes.

What for? Such foolish pleasure was unnecessary.

For Joel, her so-called father, she was the guinea pig. The experimental, controlled set-up which didn't need love or affection. The one which didn't need care. The insignificant one.

Why was that?

She could only find one reason: her sister, Saya.

Solomon's response was quick: "I love her." He paused, studying the blue-eyed queen he had been serving for so many years. The queen he had served for so many years. You are so unfeeling, Diva. Her calm demeanor was not at all what he had expected. He thought she would at least show some emotion to him. But no; she just casually scraped the grass with her foot, her hands clasped together behind her.

His heart pounding rapidly in his chest, he felt that emotion he didn't use to acknowledge screaming from within him: hatred.

He hated Diva.

He hated everything about her: that unruffled exterior; those cold, unsympathetic eyes; that childish, mocking laughter he always heard from her. He hated her. He absolutely hated her.

He always felt that she hid something from him and from her other chevaliers. They all wanted to help her – he wanted to help her, to be always with her, to be there when she would finally let go of her feelings – but she never did let him or the rest of them through her facade. She was always distant, childish, unconcerned. She preferred seclusion, something he could not understand.

Didn't she realize that they were ready to listen to her?

Didn't she realize that he was willing to listen to her, to comfort her, to protect her? Such was his task as her one of her chevaliers, a task he promised he would dedicate his life to. He pledged to dedicate his life to serving her, a promise he wholeheartedly wanted to carry out.

He cared for her, oh, he did!

But she never gave him the chance to tell her his feelings. Her detached behavior left him scared of rejection; scared of telling her anything for fear that she would reject him… that she would plainly laugh at him if he told her anything.

Perhaps he did not completely understand her.

"And so I want her to live on," he continued calmly, the tone of his voice revealing the love and care he had for Saya.

He loves her… a detached part of Diva's mind whispered casually. Solomon loves Saya. Just thinking of her sister made her terribly sick. She pushed against the column and stood straight. She skipped toward him and with precision, halted abruptly when she was opposite him. "Even if it means my death?" she asked softly, still not looking at him.

There was no answer. He merely gazed at her, neither confirming nor denying what she said.

That means yes. If it was no, he could have easily said so. But he didn't say anything, as though he wanted her to figure out for herself. Hesitation was something Diva did not and would never accept. There was only one answer, and both of them knew what it was. Inwardly full of rage, she curled her lips to form a deadly, innocent smile, and her eyes suddenly filled with this remarkable glint. Solomon knew her well enough to realize that this mischievous expression was because of the thought of killing Saya. "I won't be killed, Solomon."

Anger and loathing began to fill her entire being, just as her heart throbbed so quickly in her chest. It's always Saya. She's always there to ruin everything for me. She always gets everything. There's nothing left for me. Now, she even steals my chevalier. Solomon was her chevalier. Hers only.

How could he say he loved Saya?

The hate, which for so many years she kept to herself, had with it the rage ready to satisfy her ravenous need to avenge herself. It was like a scorching fire ready to smolder the new set of wood given to it. It was ready to burn everything that got in its way.

Everyday, Diva felt she despised her sister more and more. And why wouldn't she? She had so many reasons to hate her sister. You're always there to steal everything from me, aren't you, dear sister? You already have everything; why do you still want more? "I also want to live together with sister Saya," she continued. "But even more than that…" She met Solomon's eyes and smiled sweetly. "I want to kill her." She said the words playfully, as though she was jesting, but she was not. She was dead serious.

She would definitely savor the moment she would kill her twin.

Solomon looked at her, his stern appearance masking anything he truly felt. Diva…

She stepped closer to him and managed to continue smiling. "Do as you wish." In a quick moment, she seemed to disappear. She made her way to Amschel, buried her face in his chest, and clutched his suit firmly. From her position, she said in a voice loud enough for Solomon to hear: "From now on, you are no longer my chevalier. You are Solomon Goldsmith, the chevalier who has strayed from his path." She faced him, her brows furrowed as her smile disappeared. "I tell you this: No matter how hard you try, you can never be Saya's chevalier." At the thought, her lips twitched to form a smile. "If you wish to have her, take her hand and have her bear your children." She stepped back, giggling blithely.

Her heart was shattered to pieces.

You promised me always, Solomon… Diva thought as she stared at her chevalier. She wanted to shake him, to slap him, to do anything that would make him remember. You said always. How can you forget? He was staring right back at her.

He had already forgotten about his promise.

Diva studied her new chevalier as he kneeled before her, his head cast down. "I promise to always be beside you, Diva," she heard him say. "I'll always be your chevalier." Her calculating blue eyes stared at him curiously. She was trying to determine the truthfulness of his troth. She watched as he raised his head and gazed steadily at her.

She saw the truth.

Smiling, she offered her hand to him.

He accepted it and kissed it. "I'll protect you, Diva. Always." It was dawn when he had said that, and he looked so sincere. He looked like he meant it – and for the first time in her life, Diva felt secured.

It was always, and not forever.

She once asked him about it. "You constantly say always, Solomon. Why is that?" she asked, confusion showing in her face. "Why not forever?" Her blue eyes flashed sharply. "You don't plan to betray me, do you?" She smiled a cold, calm smile at him, knowing that both of them knew exactly what it meant.

He just chuckled at her childish comment. "You don't understand, Diva."

"Perhaps I don't," she replied in all honesty, furrowing her brows now. He was right: She didn't. Why was it always and not forever? Was there a big difference between the two? They meant the same, didn't they? Or was she mistaken?

"Forever cannot be always, Diva. But always can be forever," he explained, smiling at her childishness. "That's a big difference between them."

She eyed him incredulously. "Really?" Nobody had told her that before.

He nodded. "Really." He looked up at the sky. "Always is longer than forever, Diva."

For a long moment, Diva was silent. She was thinking about what he said. Always is longer than forever… She blinked twice in succession. "I like it," she told him, giggling after she had decided. "Always is longer than forever…"

From then on, she allowed herself to hope. Perhaps, Solomon was the answer to her silent wishes. Perhaps he was the one who would be able to share her grief, to console her when she was feeling down and lonely.

Perhaps he was the one who could love her.

Perhaps he was the one who would love her.

But everything was a lie. What he promised her was a lie. When he met Saya, he immediately turned his back on his pledge, on his duty as her chevalier. He immediately forgot about her.

And she couldn't accept that. No: She wouldn't accept that.

Always might be longer than forever, but it still doesn't last, Diva thought as she stared at Solomon. She couldn't explain what she felt, but it was definitely not happiness.

I'm sorry, Diva. My heart simply belongs to Saya. I love her.

She flashed Solomon a last smile before she ran to the mansion.

As she entered the room where James was, she let out a hollow laughter. You're still human, Solomon. You think what you feel is love, she thought as she stared at James' disfigured body. She touched the glass container in the couch. "My poor chevalier," she said in an attempt to forget what happened outside. That was when she noticed a piece of paper beside the container. She paused, then picked it up. Her eyes widened when she saw it was addressed to her. She opened it and recognized the handwriting. It was Solomon's.

I've always cared for you, Diva. You just don't know how much.

She gazed at the piece of paper for a long moment, unable to take it all in at once. Did she understand it correctly? Did it mean that all those times – those times he had looked worried for her – he had meant it? Did it mean that he had not been pretending? Did it mean that he had truly wanted her to be happy?

She stared paper intently, her mind blank. Without the slightest hesitation, she ripped it to pieces. "Always, huh?" She sat on the couch and eyed the pieces of paper on the floor. "I love… and hate that word."

Then, for the first time in her life, Diva wept.

…always…

This is my first attempt at angst. I hope I didn't botch it up. :D

Hilaire
10.26.07