Tony knew Eura wouldn't want to listen to him, but for the first time in his life, he was desperate. And not just his regular 'fucking-anything-on-two-legs' kind of desperate, but actually desperate; so desperate, he hadn't fucked a girl in exactly eight days, ten hours, and forty two minutes. Which, despite all the shit that had gone down, just didn't make sense to him. Was his dick going to fall off? What happened when you didn't satisfy it for a period as long as that? He could only assume the worst.
Two months ago, everyone had loved Tony and would have done back flips to sleep with him. And now? Now, girls acted like he didn't even exist. Now… every time he got near Michelle, he risked his balls being ripped off and stomped on.
And even though his life was complete and utter shit, Tony wasn't about to make that kind of sacrifice…especially for Michelle.
As far as he was concerned, she was just another girl… another fuck. Right?
Dragging his hand along the worn-out leather of the steering wheel, Tony slowly made his way down the road, trying not to hit the hundreds of uniformed, teenage girls that were emerging from the school. He glanced up at his reflection in the overhead mirror, running a hand through his short hair, making sure he looked somewhat presentable. It wasn't as if Tony needed to impress them or anything, he was just picking up Eura, but… well, his good looks were really all he had left.
So he had to own that shit, and own it hard.
Tony cleared his throat, eying the very-underage-looking-girls huddled together, trying not to drop their books as they whispered furiously at each other. He snickered slightly, girls. They never shut up, did they? But as dumb as they acted… they were fricking hot. The blonde wearing the blue sweater, she was definitely some good eye candy. Nice eyes, a nice nose, probably nice tits… but fuck, that redhead talking to her was nothing short of a babe. Tony watched Little Red Riding Hair talk with her friends for a moment, while driving as slowly as possible, unable to peel his eyes off of her.
Damn. Tony felt his right hand gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter, as he craned his neck all the way around to watch Miss Ginger, praying that she'd look up and meet his gaze. She was bound to, eventually- because he was Tony fucking Snyder, for chrissakes. Every girl wanted him. Every girl practically prayed to find him eye-fucking them like he was now, just so they could have the excuse to stare right back at him, and imagine him naked.
But... she didn't look up. Tony clutched the steering wheel as if his life depended on it, the knuckles of his hand whitening, but instead of meeting his gaze, Reddie chatted on with her friends. She smiled. She flipped her hair. He sucked in a soft, short breath, half-ready to throw open the car door and-
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-"
"Shit!" Before Tony knew what was happening, he felt his neck snap forwards as his foot slammed down on the breaks, the car skidding to an immediate stop just inches away from a teenage girl. "Fuck, holy fucking shit," Tony blurted out, his heart racing as he flushed slightly, watching Firecrotch's friend giggle and point at him and the scene he'd just caused. And of course, she laughed too.
Tony rested his head on the steering wheel, half-ready to die of shame.
A couple more girls walked by, tapping the windows of his car with their manicured nails, before passing him. Did they really need to do that? Fuck them. Tony inhaled slightly, trying to compose himself as best as he could, before prying his hands off the steering wheel and quietly reaching for the door handle.
Tony wasn't normally one to take responsibility, as everyone who knew him was well aware of, but he'd almost killed someone. And killing someone… that was serious shit. He'd officially crossed the line and managed hit rock bottom all in the same moment of time, and Tony didn't know what the hell he was supposed to do about it. It was one thing to fuck a girl half a decade younger than him, but to almost kill one? Something like that would have never, ever happened to the old Tony.
Well, the old Tony was sure as fuck gone.
Tony made a move to get out of the car, before the passenger seat door suddenly was flung open, and a sandy haired girl slipped inside.
Eura.
Wait… shit. Had he almost hit her? His own sister? A wave of relief, mixed with the tiniest hint of guilt washed over him; but Tony quickly cleared his throat, trying to play it off as cool as possible. It had been an accident, right? So he wasn't going to get sued by some rich private school kid's parents, who he'd have to sleep with in order to have them drop the lawsuit… that was always a positive. He'd just play it cool… which would be easy.
Pull yourself together, Snyder.
"Hey, Sis."
Cool as a fucking cucumber. Cool as ice.
"Uh, how was school?"
Cool as Niagra falls. Cool as ice cream. Cool as a cat.
Tony stared straight ahead for a moment, before frowning the tiniest bit, daring to look over at her questioningly. "Eura?"
His sister raised her eyebrows, before letting out a knowing sigh.
"She must have looked like Michelle."
Tony, caught off guard, instinctively gaped, feeling like a fish out of water. "I… excuse me?"
"Pull over."
"I don't… you're talking bullshit, Eura," Tony muttered, glaring at her for a moment before back at the road, "You… I'm tired, don't pull this shit with me now."
What the fuck was she playing at? Tony rubbed at his forehead with his free hand, letting his eyes wander around the road in front of him. Eura was just… a complete mystery. No one knew why she didn't talk, no one knew why she didn't have any friends, and no one knew the first thing about her. No one knew that Tony was the only person she talked to, and even Tony didn't know why his sister had chosen him. Especially these days, when everyone avoided him like he was the fucking plague.
"And I can't just… pull over. We're on a highway, Eur. Don't be stupid..," Tony muttered, not aware of how much of a prick he was being, "And, for the record, I don't give a fuck about Michelle. She can screw Stanley until his dick falls off, for all I care…"
His knuckles whitened on the steering wheel once more.
Eura said nothing, but for whatever reason, Tony couldn't stop talking.
"She's… she's not even that hot, anyways. Like… seriously. Tea's hotter than her, and she's a lesbian. And redheads… no one likes them anymore. I mean, red hair is the definition of fucking ugl-"
"Your pants say otherwise," Eura casually interrupted, curling up in a ball in her seat, resting her chin on her knees as she gazed out of the window.
Tony blinked, glancing down at his lap for a moment before his eyes widened and squirmed uncomfortably. Holy shit, he'd pitched a tent and not even noticed it. What the fuck? And right in front of his little sister…fuck. His face turned bright red, and for the first time in years, Tony was actually embarrassed.
"Shit...," he muttered to himself, crossing his legs for a moment, before realizing he couldn't drive with his legs crossed. Tony swore once more under his breath, shifting in his seat, trying to figure out a way to hide the excitement in his pants. "Did.. did that-"
"You were staring at the Michelle lookalike, got a boner, and almost killed me. Yes, that really did just happen," Eura told him, her blue eyes knowingly flickering over her brother's face, "Thanks for picking me up from school. You've made it a great day."
He squirmed even more, quickly glancing over at Eura, who simply smirked.
"I… fuck you," Tony murmured, as Eura arched her brow.
"That's disgusting, I'm your sister."
Tony sighed softly, steering with his right hand while running his left through his hair. Why was she so smart? Why did she always know everything? He was her big brother, he was the one who was supposed to be giving her advice, not the other way around. All he ever did was help her sneak out to get completely plastered… which sounded really bad, but Tony didn't know how else to connect to her.
"I… crap, Eur. I didn't even notice…"
"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."
Tony glanced over at his sister, and couldn't help but grin along with her. She was clever, he'd give her that any day. The cleverest kid he'd ever known, actually, including himself. Which these days didn't seem like much of a compliment, but back in the day, Tony's parents had been convinced that he was the smartest toddler to crawl the earth. A mischievous, pain-in-the-ass kind of toddler, naturally, but still fucking brilliant.
"It just… it doesn't make sense, Eur. I apologized, so… so why is she still pissed? I said I was sorry, isn't that supposed to make it better?" Eura stared blankly at Tony, as he rambled on. "And why the fuck does everyone else hate me? Yeah, I messed up with Chelle, but I didn't do shit to them."
There was a moment of silence as Tony shook his head, furrowing his brow in pure frustration. Why was this happening to him? He'd never done anything to Stanley but help him be popular. He'd never done anything to Abbud but show him cool clubs. He'd never done anything to Daisy but try to hook up with her… and what the fuck was Cadie's problem? He hardly even talked to her, let alone got her angry. So what the hell?
"I hope you're not serious."
Tony's lips parted, before his face caved in the tiniest bit.
"Eur. Please… help me out here. I just..," Tony trailed off, frowning as he clenched the steering wheel for what seemed like the millionth time today, "I want to fix things."
Normally, Eura would have rolled her eyes or made fun of Tony being distraught like this, but it was the fact that he was being distraught in the first place that worried her the most. Tony was the only person who she truly cared for, the only person who understood her… and as out of character as it was for him to be upset, she was going to act even more out of character and help him.
And then, of course, things would return to normal. Because normality meant that Eura was a mysterious slut and Tony was an obnoxious manwhore… and neither of them knew how to play anything other than those two roles.
Not that they would want to, anyways.
"You really fucked it up this time, Tone."
Tony looked desperate.
"Yeah… I know. I did, but-"
"Would you be mad if I told you you were a lost cause?"
Once again, silence overtook the car. It wasn't an awkward type of thing- no, not in the slightest. Tony and Eura knew each other better than they knew themselves. They were both so fucked up in their own way, that when put together and labeled brother and sister, they just… hit it off. Though they were hardly ever seen near each other, they were the definition of inseparable in their own, messed up way.
Tony chewed on the inside of his cheek, flicking on the signaling lights before slowly pulling into the right lane, coming to a slow stop as he finally pulled over. He watched Eura stare out the window, as if she didn't give a fuck as to what was going on, before shifting in his seat and extending his arm out to her. Tony gently brought his arm across Eura's lap, gently cupping the left side of her face with his hand, his fingers gently resting under her jawline as he moved her head so she was forced to look at him.
He grit his teeth.
"Just… just fucking care, Eura. I'm your brother, you don't need to hide and pretend to be mysterious and shit when you're around me. I can fucking see right through you," Tony stated quietly, his eyes locked in hers, his hand still lightly gripping her cheek, "Just care. I care about you… you can care about me, too. It doesn't make you weak, Eur. Caring. We… we can care about each other and not be weak."
At this point, Tony didn't know what he was doing, but had a sinking feeling that he'd fucked things up with Eura. Had that been a dick thing to say? Had he been too harsh, had he scared her? Tony shivered. Fucking things up with Eura was different than fucking things up with Tea or Stan, or even Michelle. If Eura wasn't talking to Tony… he'd have no reason to even… be here. He'd have to leave, for good.
He'd have absolutely no one.
Tony let his hand drop from her face, and repositioned his body weight as if he were to begin driving once more, though his head was now spinning and he was in no position to even start up the car.
"Do you really think that's true? That I'm a lost cause?"
He slowly, cautiously, looked over at Eura- who started right back at him. Tony's heart sank as he realized that… shit, he couldn't… he couldn't read her face. He didn't know what she was thinking. Was she angry, bitter, upset? Eura's face reeked with emotion, yet Tony didn't have the faintest idea what kind… fuck. Fuck, he'd really messed things up this time.
Biting his lip as hard as he could, Tony tasted blood before leaning forwards, resting his forehead on the steering wheel. Most guys his age didn't give a rat's ass about their siblings, and Tony usually didn't give a rat's ass about anything family related… but Eura was the exception. He loved Eura, even if she didn't care about him. He… he'd also… Michelle… he wasn't sure if he loved Michelle, but he'd liked her… a lot... Tony let out a soft sigh, clenching his jaw as he realized the backs of his eyes had that pinchy feeling… fuck, no. He was not about to cry…
But he couldn't help it. Everything he loved he fucked up, and because of it, he had nothing left to live for. Nothing left… the words echoed in Tony's head over and over again, until his throat felt scratchy, and suddenly the tears rushed from his eyes. Everything had just accumulated, hit him right in the balls, and he couldn't take it anymore. He'd ruined everything, and most importantly, he'd… he'd lost himself.
Shaking slightly, Tony let out a soft whimper, trying not to sniffle loudly, but was unable to help it. He had nothing left, and the tears rolling down his cheeks absolutely confirmed it. He hadn't cried like this since his tenth birthday, when he was stuck in bed with the flu, and couldn't do anything fun all day. But that time, his mother had called some of his friends and surprised Tony by inviting them over… this time, his mother wouldn't be there to save the day, and his friends wouldn't have come over if their lives depended on it.
This time, Tony had fucked up beyond repair, and because of it, all he could do was cry even harder.
"No… I don't."
He almost didn't hear Eura's words, buried up to his ears in his own misery, unable to process why all this was happening to him.
But the second she pressed her lips to his cheek, to the soft spot just below his ear, Tony's sobs eventually quieted, and his shoulders finally stopped shaking.
He had her… her loved her.
He wouldn't be alone.