Chapter One
It was so dark that night at Spinner's End that not a single passerby would be able to see the man cloaked in black walking up the end drive unless they caught a glimpse of his platinum hair. He stood nervous on the front stoop, rapping on the door thrice with the rusted door-knocker. With each click of the many locks sliding out of place, he grew more anxious. Finally, the door creaked open, and he looked into the curious face that could tell him what would potentially become of his future.
"I certainly didn't expect you. I've just returned home for the break and had some doltish notion that I might get some peace. Should you not be with your family now?" the dark haired man spoke to his guest in a thick, monotone voice.
"I need to clarify some things I was told, and I know you can do that. And, depending on your answer, I could need your help, Severus."
After a moment of hesitation, Severus Snape stepped back into his house, allowing the other man entry. With the door closed and a quick check to see if the deep green curtains were drawn, Lucius Malfoy pushed back the hood of his cloak and sat stiffly across from Snape.
"Draco informed me of some...happenings this school year involving a certain Dark Arts professor and a resurrection stone."
"And?" Snape drawled.
"And was it true? Could Quirrell really have been working for the Dark Lord?" Lucius asked, his words coming faster and more hushed.
"It is highly possible."
Snape's disinterested tone only seemed to make Lucius more fidgety. He stood from his seat and paced a small track in the dark wood floor.
"Then does this mean what I assume it means?" He spoke in a way that sounded as if he was having to force the air from his lungs.
Snape stood and roughly grabbed Lucius's shoulder to stop him, "That the Dark Lord could very well be returning sometime soon? Yes, it does. But why are you acting like some cowardly dog? You are one of his most loyal followers. You have no reason to be concerned."
Lucius jerked from his grip and put his head in his hands. After a deep breath or two, Lucius pushed his hair back and faced Snape again.
"I know about your secrets. I know you've switched sides and are loyal to the Order now. And I need your help. Narcissa and I don't want any part of this again. The first war was enough. I can't go a day without seeing the destruction in my head. We were young and foolish. But now, we can't play with fire. We have a son, and if anything happened to Draco or Narcissa, I would never be able to forgive myself. We want to join you and the Order should the Dark Lord rise again. I had hoped we would live the rest of our lives in peace, but as it doesn't look like that will happen, it is time to step up and do what is best for my family. Please, Severus. Could you plead on our behalf?"
Snape didn't have to be an accomplished legilimins to see that Lucius was speaking the truth. He was desperate and Snape had never seen Lucius Malfoy desperate before.
"I can talk to Albus and see what could be done should the Dark Lord arise." Suddenly the tip of Snape's wand was pressing into Lucius's neck. "But I swear on my life that if you step a toe out of line or try anything to endanger me or the Order, it won't be the Dark Lord you should fear. I will destroy you with a flick of my wrist, Lucius Malfoy," Snape sneered.
"Understood Severus. I would expect no less," Lucius squeaked.
Snape lowered his wand slowly, and moments later, Lucius was out of Spinner's end, fading back into the shadows.
2 Years Later
A slight scuffling on the outside of my second story window snatches my attention from the book I am reading. It doesn't startle me, though. I toss down the tattered book and throw open the shutters to see a tawny owl with amber eyes staring back at me. A large envelope is dangling from the owl's beak, and I know immediately what its contents are. The owl looks as if it is struggling to keep its grasp on the envelopes heavy contents.
"Hop on in," I tell the owl as unlatch the window.
The bird drops the envelope into my hands and perches on my desk, beginning to pick at its feathers. I stare at the intricate handwriting on the front, willing myself to open it. I get this letter every year, and every year my heart sinks as I read the words on the page. The purple ink address reads:
Miss Lena Snape
Upstairs Bedroom
394 Pebble Lane
Ashford, Surrey
It is my Hogwarts letter, the same one I've gotten every year since she turned eleven. I am almost fourteen years old now. I should be starting my fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Instead, I am starting my ninth year of muggle school, complete with an entrance exam. I have magical abilities, and I am able in every way to attend Hogwarts except for the fact that my father, the Potions mater at the school, doesn't allow it. In fact, I don't even live with my father. My mother died before I can even remember, and my father sent me to live with a squib couple without any children of their own ever since I was able to start attending muggle primary school. He visits every once in a while to check on me, and if I write to him, he will write back. But it has never been clear to my why I don't live with my father and why I cannot attend wizarding school. Every time I ask, my father only says that it is for the best.
Although, I don't really know it could be for the best when I live every day feeling out of place. I spend every day hiding my abilities and essentially who I really am. Afraid of accidentally giving away the secret of the wizarding world, I keep to myself at school, and I have very few friends. I have never been taught to control my magic, so I avoid anything that might cause my emotions to swing wildly. I have learned that the more unstable my emotions, the more I cause strange things to happen unintentionally, or as those knowledgeable of the wizarding world call it, perform magic. To other students, I probably seem like the wallflower girl who doesn't enjoy the company of others, but in reality, I am merely trying to hide the person that I really am.
In my foster home, my caretakers are content with not being able to perform magic, so they do not understand the struggle I go through by having to control my abilities to keep our secret. They have no trouble living in the muggle world. Though they live apart from magical society, they are very knowledgeable of it, and while they cannot give me answers regarding my family, they tell me anything I want to know about the wizarding world. They have taught me about Diagon Alley, Quidditch, the many ways of magical transportation, and so much more. They have many books for me to look through, which is nice, but I am not able to put my knowledge to use. They have also told me about the first Wizarding war surrounding the evil Lord Voldemort and his followers called Death Eaters. The war had such an impact that nearly everyone in magical society was afraid to speak the villain's name. Of course they told me about Harry Potter, the mere baby that seemed to put a stop to the dark wizard, his parents being killed in the process. Just a few years ago, Harry Potter resurfaced when he showed up at Hogwarts for his first year. He is in the same year as me. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in the same class as the Boy Who Lived.
From what little I have learned about my family, I know that my father is a professor of potions at Hogwarts, he is a bit of a pain in the neck, and my mother died long ago. I also know that I was named for my paternal grandmother, Eileen Prince. My father found the squib couple I live with through Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts. It was arranged that I would live here, with due compensation. My foster parents are good people, and they give me everything I need, but I still long to live with my father like a normal child.
With I sigh, I tear open the envelope and read the letter from the headmaster Dumbledore asking me to attend, despite the fact that I am three years behind in my schooling. I tuck the many pages of lists into my desk drawer and stroke the owl's soft head.
"You don't have to wait any longer if you wish to be on your way. I won't be sending a reply," I speak to the owl.
Its head swivels to look at me, and the owl nudges my hand before becoming a whirlwind of feathers outside the window. I am not even sure why my father allows the letters to be sent every year, but I could guess that he has no knowledge of it and Dumbledore is doing it behind his back. From what I've heard about the headmaster, I know that is highly probable. I latch the window shut with a sigh, and it isn't long before I am called down to dinner, but thoughts of Hogwarts cannot be pushed from my mind that easily.
It is July 31st, the day before I am set to take my entrance exam for muggle school. It is also the day before all the other magical children in London would board the train on Platform 9 3/4 to start another year at Hogwarts. I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought of Hogwarts every day since receiving the letter. I want to be headed there tomorrow so badly. I belong there. How could being stuck in muggle school, never learning how to control my magic, be for the best? How could being away from my father, my only family, and other kids like me, be for the best? I just don't see the logic in it. I have never felt like I belong in the muggle world, and it is because I don't. I belong in the wizarding world. It is only there that I can be who I really am and not hide from others. I can be useful and serve a purpose, rather that sitting back and watching everything happen around me. I can be something Hogwarts. More importantly, I can be who I was meant to be, and do what I was meant to do.
I mull over these thoughts for a while, and I decide that I cannot wait any longer, I cannot suppress myself any longer, and I cannot feel like a useless blog any longer. It is time to take a risk if I want my life to be worth anything, if I want my life to mean anything. I may face hell for it at first, but I am going to Hogwarts.
Author's Note: If you've clicked on this story before, you might have noticed that it had more chapters originally. I have decided to go back and rewrite the story as I didn't believe the original to be anywhere near my best work. So this is the first updated chapter. More updates will be coming and then the story will proceed.