Authors note: ... Hello majestic people of fanfic, this is my first fan fiction to have ever make it to the internet so please have mercy on me. Im usually very reserved about my work, but my so says that my work is good and he enjoys it so I thought why not share it.

So this happened when I went to see the premiere of The Force Awakens. I am in love with Reylo. I am a sucker for high drama romances on screen, everything that is too difficult or too opposite and I'm hooked.

I came home and went through tumblr to find the precious Reylo shippers, but, since it was too early, ill give them that, there were only but two or three posts. No fanfics yet. So I wrote and wrote, mostly for myself, and I am up to 28 chapters so far. As I said, I've never published my fanfics. And this was backed by the midterms coming closer, so i just put this piece in the drawers.

When I come back after New Years, I was so delighted to see how much the shippers grew. And the fanfics, oh my. I very much enjoyed when Balance and Colorblind came out here(i will post their account names the next time i log on, I'm so sorry i don't remember them), and saw that they were fantastic. Now I follow their updates closely. They were captivating for me because they really know how to capture the real Rey and Ben.

I am a fanatic when it comes to characters and the situations they're in. I will make them crawl through hell and back but I will try to stay as close to their characters as possible. I love some smut that goes around here, but that is not me, mostly because I think that that is not Rey/ Kylo Ren. I love their relationship just because it is so complicated and because they are such complex characters, and because they will probably need the most open minded, brilliant writers to make them canon.(on that note please tell me If i am doing something wrong with their character, I never want to compromise their true psyche in order to maintain my storyline) Hence this is why the story is a slow built one. Eventually Rey and Kylo Ren will get together. It will take them very long to get together, but the bits in-between will be worth being a part of.

Again, Every feedback is appreciated! It is more than welcomed.

I hope you enjoy the angst, fluff and drama!

Kirk out xx

She raised her head and looked at him, her warm breath leaving steam traces in the cold, frisky air. He stood tall and quiet. There was something different about him. The chaos that used to surround him was gone. The energy around him was more confident and wholesome. He was more calm, more...mature?

And he moved.

He stroke again. And again. And again. Rey's lightsaber was barely blocking them, her breath leaving her lungs a little more with each strike, until she felt her limbs shaking and giving up. How was it possible for her to fail this badly? How could she be so bad at it? A year and half ago she managed to beat him with no training at all!?

None of this made sense to her.

She felt betrayed. Not by Luke, or Obi-wan, Or the Force even. She felt betrayed by herself.

She looked at him. His dark black figure reaching tall, like a stone statue.

He stroke again. This time, she stumbled, almost falling into the ground.

Not today! You will not beat me!

He twirled his lightsaber, playing with it...He was taking his time.

Rey called to the force. How was it possible? how was it possible that, after all that training, she was worse than that snowy night? How was it possible, that, after thousands of hours training with Luke, after countless of work and spirit she'd put on it...she was failing. focus. breathe. focus.

''Because,''he spoke, breaking the silence, the deep voice coming from underneath the mask '' You are forgetting two very important things, that are crucial to a fight,'' he moved around playfully and effortlessly started striking her again.

She felt her body giving up. Her muscles were shaking, her legs were numb. How long have they been fighting for?

'' About two hours and twenty minutes,'' the voice under the mask said ''not counting all the times you tried to flee from the fight... Scavenger'', she could feel his smug beneath it.

She hated that in her bones. She hated that he would go into her head like that. She hated it every time he would answer her inner self. Who gave him the right? She hated that she could feel how entitled he felt towards everything. She hated the way he moved. She hated the way he reeked of priviledge. She hated his self proclaimed authority. She hated his existence.

'' Murderer...'' she heard herself saying, her teeth grinding, '' Get out of my head!'' Her double ended lightsaber pointed directly at him. He stopped. In all silence, she could hear herself grasping for air. Breathing so loud that her ears started to buzz. Dont let yourself go.

As he lowered his lightsaber, he tilted his head on the left, as if he was wondering what her next move might be. She tried to get into his head but he was solid. He had learned how to shield himself from her mind probe. Barely gathering her breath, she impatiently waited for his next move.

But he didnt attack. Instead, he started approaching her slowly. She followed his very move with her body. no guard down. Soon she realized he was coming around her in a circle. He had the upper hand. he knows that. I know that. So she waited.

But he didn't attack.

He doesn't want me dead. Just beaten. And he was waiting for her to surrender herself first. She didnt feel like a prey. She felt like a prize. She realized, he was playing with her.

''What do you want from me?'' she said, her voice breaking from the exhaustion. Her sweat was coming down her face, and her eyes, although angry, were tired, like a mother beast.

He stood quiet. He wasnt pacing in circles around her anymore. She felt him take a deep breath.

Then it almost went black. She felt like the bare breaths she had managed to gather in the last seconds had left her, her stomach betraying her with a disgusting feeling of nausea. Something between a cough and a gag came out of her as she folded into the ground, her lightsaber rolling into the ground next to her. It wasn't half as painful as it was uncomfortable.

She couldnt breathe or move. She could cry. So she closed her eyes and waited for another punch.

.

.

.

When the other one didnt come, she rushed to get into her feet, picking her lightsaber with her. She had tears in her eyes. She saw him standing there tall, about three meters away from her, his glooming red lightsaber waiting.

Her anger, fueling her core and her heart, brought her tears she didnt know she had inside. Sobbing, she wiped the tears off her face and charged at him with all she had left.

It seemed to had caught him by surprise. He raised his head, but there was no emotion to be read from the mask. Her every strike was meant to be deadly. She wanted him dead. He defended himself, but he was not backing down. Her rage was immediately channeled into her lightsaber, every single move going for the kill. He was sure even the plants surrounding them could feel her uproar.

''You're a monster!'' she screamed, while simultaneously charging at him like a wounded tiger ''A pathetic man, who refused love and family! A disgusting murderer who took everything he was given for granted!'' she yelled at him, sobbing ''You ungrateful freak!''

Her last three strikes threw him off his feet. If it wasnt for a quick reflex of his upper body, the last strike wouldve gone right through his right shoulder. He took two steps back, his mask looking towards her. She could feel that he lost his breath in the end too. She felt proud, her body rising slightly with each breath.

She stopped and assessed the situation. They were so close. If one of them moved with a lightsaber, the other would be dead. Control your emotions Rey, You are not ordinary. The voice of Obi Wan reminded her who she was and why she was here. She took a step back, and stood in a defensive position, waiting for his move.

Kylo Ren let out a sigh.

''You still dont understand do you?'' he said beneath the mask. ''You still have forgotten about the two most crucial facts about our little fights''. He moved, straightening his stance, regulating his big walk and bringing forward his lightsaber.

''Which are?'' she said, detest in her tone. Rey didnt expect much from him. But she needed the time to gather herself together for the next attack. She needed to gather her breath.

''You and me.'' he said in a plain voice, as if it was the answer to the easiest problem.

''You and me.'' she scoffed ''You?...and me.'' Her voice sounded falsely amused. The air had started to feel heavy.

''... and your next attack will be so predicted you will end up in the ground again, grasping for air. So I suggest you don't do it at all, if you have learned anything from the Jedi training'' He continued, ignoring her tease. ''You see Scavenger,'' his tone cold and eerie, ''what you, Luke Skywalker, what every Jedi, has missed out ever, is that no matter how much you train within the light, calmness and peace of mind, the fact that you do not accept yourselves as thoroughly, makes you weak.'' he hissed at the last words '' You kept asking yourself why you beat me that day in the forest almost two years ago...'' He stopped for a moment to look up towards the sky. She glanced up too. The dark rainy clouds had managed to cover what was left of the crimson sunset sky. There were some purple rays barely penetrating the clouds, but they were faint, and were weakening by the hour. She looked down again towards him, and noticed that he was removing his mask. no. dont.

''The reason you beat me, was exactly what youve never thought would be.'' He resumed the conversation leaving the mask and his cape on the ground. why.

''What are you trying to say? I will not be manipulated by you, Monster!'' she hissed.

''You were untrained, scavenger'' he replied, the voice sounding monotone '' untrained by the Jedi '' He looked straight at her now, as he was coming close ''...See, it is true that Luke Skywalker is one of the most powerful Jedi out there, and as much as I do admire his sense of restrain and rightfulness, he lost his power too.''

Rey was confused. what in the name of the Force is he trying to say?

He stopped about two metres away from her. Far enough for her to read his sharp face. She didnt remember his face to look so...in her memories he was painted as with softer features.

''Look Scavenger,'' He said, his body chaffing, just like his voice ''When you are, as you are, one with the Force, is the Force who molds you. You go with it, not against it. The Force guides you. The Force never tells you anything, what you should do or what not. The Force feels with you.

Is true that when you train with the Jedi, you learn many skills, defense, perseverance, and patience but...'' as his deep voice rested, his eyes looked pensive ''You are but in a frame, a box, and you cannot get out of it, because if you do, you are taught, and taught your whole life that it is wrong...that feeling fear, and anger and passion is wrong...''

Somehow Rey felt pain in him. Not even having to use the Force, somehow she looked right through him. He had not been looking at her anymore. He wasnt talking to her. Rather, he was talking to himself.

Somewhere, lightning fell.

''Fear makes us lose ourselves,'' Rey replied. He looked up to her and in his eyes she could see disbelief. ''Anger and pain, they make us self destruct, you should know that'' Rey found herself citing Obi Wan. It came naturally to her. Kylo Ren was staring at her, his face clearly showing displeasure and dismay. His body had a different kind of stance. He seemed less aggressive.

He tilted his head, and in less than a split of a second raised his lightsaber and charged at her. She, having gathered all her strength, defended herself gracefully. At first.