Title: Blondie
Summary: "I'm sure if we threw a piece of glass in the stream, she'd dive in after it just to look at herself," Cloudkit smirked. Ashkit and Cloudkit torment a crazy Cinderpelt. Crack-fic. One-shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors. Erin Hunter does. Unfortunately.
Cinderpelt was reorganizing her herbs when Cloudkit limped in wailing.
"Hey Cinderpelt? I got some shiny, pointy stuff stuck in my paw," he sobbed.
"Well what-" she began.
"PULL IT OUT!" he shouted. He collapsed on the ground.
"Cloudkit?" She poked him with a paw, "Oh dear."
She delicately unsheathed her claws and pulled out the piece of glass. She dropped it on the floor and put marigold and cobwebs on his paw. She took another look at the glass and let out a gasp of shock.
"OMS! OH MY STARCLAN! I look so beautiful!" She cried, tears of happiness spilling out. By that time, Cloudkit had become conscious again.
"Uh, Cinderpelt?" he asked.
"Stop it!" she snapped, "Can't you see I'm looking at myself? Now go and leave me alone with me and my beautiful self!"
"Did you miss me? I missed you," She walked to the back of her den.
"Um…okay, awkward," Cloudkit limped back to the nursery.
"Hey Ashkit? Wake up! I need to tell you something,"
"What! What happened? Wake Firestar up, DO SOMETHING!" he shouted and started breathing heavily.
"Okay look, calm, calm, deep breaths," Cloudkit soothed.
"Okay, I'm okay, what was it you wanted to tell me?" Ashkit asked as if nothing happened.
"Cinderpelt's blond!" he laughed.
"What? So all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Cinderpelt grew blond fur? This is so exasperating!"
"No dummy! Cinderpelt's STUPID! All she cares about is herself, I'm sure if we threw a piece of glass in the stream, she'd dive in after it just to look at herself," Cloudkit smirked.
"Wanna try it?" Ashkit asked, grinning mischievously.
"Sure! Now we just need to go to that abandoned Twoleg place so we can get a piece of glass," He started to go into the forest with Ashkit following.
:-:-:-:
"Cinderpelt! Cinderpelt, Cloudkit is hurt! He's by the stream. A very, very fierce kittypet came and, uh, hurt Cloudkit!" Ashkit came running into the den.
"That's wonderful. And what am I supposed to do about that?" she asked as if he were crazy, still mooning over her reflection.
"You're the—" he stopped, "I mean we found something you could really use." He gave his chestfur a couple of licks, as if he were hiding something.
"Ooh!" she squealed. "I hope it's a pelt-brush, or maybe some claw-polish! I could really buff my claws and get a manicure, pedicure, ooh, and even a whole new makeover with a cute little pink bow on my head!"
Ashkit looked at Cinderpelt as if she were crazy (even though she probably was).
"What? It's the new fashion, duh. Don't you read the Fashion Cat magazines?" Cinderpelt said to Ashkit as if he were the stupidest little creature on Earth.
"Um, no, not really. Come on, I'll take you to him," he started to take the lead but then she stopped him with his tail.
"Don't you think I know the way to all the places in my territory? Ugh," she hissed. "Young cats these days," she muttered. But instead of going towards the stream, she was heading towards the cliff.
"Cinderpelt? Your going towards the cliff, here, just let me lead, you're as dumb as a stick," he hissed.
"Uh, excuse me?" she retorted.
"Yes, you're excused."
Cinderpelt scoffed, "Ugh,"
By the time they got there, Cinderpelt was outraged.
"Where. Is. My. Stuff."
"Wait Cinderpelt, look in the stream! You're stuff is in there," she peered into the stream.
"Another piece of glass for me to look at!" she squealed, "Hold on me! I'm coming! Wait, I'm getting a text," she took out her catphone and began texting.
"Okay! I'm coming me!" she jumped into the stream, "Ahh! I'm drowning! Help me!" She splashed water onto the kits standing, who looking at her with amusement in their eyes.
"What are you all staring at! Help me!"
"Hey Blondie! Just stand up! It only comes up to your haunches!" Cloudkit laughed.
She glared at them with an evil look.
A/N: I had too much sugar. :) Please review!