The Birthday Gift.
Legal Stuff: I don't own anything nuff said (If I did there would be a snow storm in the Sahara before I'd ever let either Peyton or Aubrey ever set foot on CSI: NY.)
"Mac we've know each other a long time haven't we and you know don't you that you're my best friend and you always will be ….."Stella Bonasera nervously began, "It's just that I feel like we have been growing so close recently much more than friends I need to know do you feel the same way? It's not really such a bad idea is it me and you becoming an us? Being more than just best friends? I think I want to be I think I could be in love with you…..no, no that's not right it's far too soon for the I love you even if its true you'll scare Mac half to death ……" Stella cursed softly under her breath to herself in word perfect Greek. She was standing inside Mac's office rehearsing what she should say to Mac whilst she waited for him to return from his last call out of the day. Stella had something very important to tell him or should that be ask him truthfully she really wasn't sure exactly which one, only that if everything worked out right then today would be a special day for her in more ways than one. She'd decided that it was the right time to take that giant step further with Mac and tell him how she felt about him. Tonight Stella wanted a date a real date not just spending time together as best friends; Stella wanted to spend a romantic evening with Mac complete with holding hands during the cab ride home and a goodnight kiss (preferably kissing plural all night long.) Trouble was every time she tried to think of a good way to tell him that she…. well loved him it all sounded totally wrong and what if she'd misread the situation completely? What if he didn't feel the same way about her after all she fretted. What if she was simply imagining how close they had become recently? Stella shook her head furiously doubting herself like this was doing no-one any good was it? She was determined to do this today on her 35th birthday because the only thing she had ever really wanted was Mac Taylor and she didn't want to wait any longer; she….no they had waited long enough.
"Hey Stella" The man in question greeted her rather wearily she thought as he entered his office "You looking for me?"
"Hey Mac" She grinned back at him the butterflies in her stomach doing over time; alright Bonasera pull it together you can do this she ordered herself to cooperate even if her palms did feel clammy she was so nervous "Yes I was waiting to see you …… there is something I need to tell you" She took a deep breath and crossed her fingers behind her back "I think maybe I should have done it sooner but today being today it just feels right at least I hope it feels right to you too."
"Stella your making no sense at all" Mac told her pulling a black hold all out from under his desk "If it's about the Hunt case can it wait while tomorrow? Only I'm kind of on the clock here."
"No it's not about the Hunt case or work at all" She replied "But it is important."
"Walk with me I'm hitting the shower Aubrey asked me to be her date for the Hospital's annual spring ball and its black tie" He sighed "I don't want to keep her waiting there is something very important I need to say to her."
"Oh I see" Stella was crestfallen, she felt like her heart had been shattered into a million tiny pieces with his statement "It doesn't matter then……"
"Obviously it does Stella tell me….how can I help you if you don't tell me what's wrong" He gently coaxed, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.
"I just thought today being today that maybe you would like to come to dinner with me…..I mean us….. the team" She panicked not wanting to embarrass them both "You already have plans so it doesn't matter not anymore……" She insisted praying he couldn't hear how heartbroken she felt in her voice.
"Stel any other day I'd love too but tonight it's important I see Aubrey but tomorrow I'm all yours" He told her as they walked along "It can wait while tomorrow can't it? There is no special reason we need to have dinner together tonight is there?
"No of course not we've all worked so had recently I thought it would be fun that's all" Stella insisted her chest hurt so much she couldn't remember how to breath properly; She lightly touched his shoulder "….You'll be careful wont you Mac with Aubrey I mean after you lost Claire……I don't want you to get hurt again is all…….I worry about you."
"Don't worry Stel I'm a big boy now" He assured her opening the men's locker room door "After this evening everything will be perfect you'll see I promise."
Glumly Stella headed back to her office to collect her belongings and head home for the evening she found Lindsay waiting for her when she arrived.
"Well don't keep me hanging……" Her friend bubbled excitedly "Now you and Mac have finally come out of what must be the world's largest closet and are now officially all loved up I want all the details. Where is he taking you then? Dinner, the movies? A Broadway show? Since this is the worlds first ever known Bonasera-Taylor date it should be something extraordinary and it is your birthday!"
"Nowhere" Stella answered mournfully; her heart seemed to have forgotten how to beat "I didn't tell Mac how I feel about him there was no point."
"Come again?" Lindsay assumed she'd misheard.
"Mac already has plans this evening he is taking Aubrey out he's got something important to say to her" Stella explained miserably.
"Oh Stel I'm so sorry……Tonight he's taking her out tonight? Even if Mac just wants to be friends he couldn't have picked any other night but tonight……it's downright cruel" Lindsay fumed "Didn't he even get you a birthday card?"
"No" Stella answered forlornly "I guess he had something more important to do this year."
"How could he do that to you? You always spend your birthday together just the two of you its not right Stella and someone should tell him that" Lindsay seethed on her friend's behalf.
"Lindsay don't there is nothing anyone can do I can't make him love me" Stella shook her head sadly "If she makes him happy then that will have to be good enough for me I will just have to accept that Mac has found someone he can care about and be glad for him."
"It's still not right" Lindsay huffed "Not right at all."
"It's what Mac wants" Stella told her "So it has to be right by me doesn't it? All I want is for him to be happy."
"You shouldn't be alone on your birthday Stel…. if you think you can survive Danny's cooking you welcome to come over to my place if you want" Lindsay offered "Lucy would love to see her Auntie Stella."
"Thanks Lindsay but no……. I think I'll just finish off some paper work then head home" Stella politely declined her friend's offer; all she really wanted was to be alone with her misery "I'm too old for all that birthday stuff anyway."
Freshly showered and almost dressed Mac was sitting in the Men's locker room tying his shoelaces when he heard voices whispering outside the door Danny and Lindsay's to be precise.
"Linds I'm not sure we should be doing this ….." Danny said "It's not really any of our business is it?"
"Of course it is" Lindsay insisted "She's one of our closet friends and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with treating her like that its plain wrong and you know it besides if we don't do this and Flack has his way then he'll be spitting teeth do you really want that?"
"He can fire both our asses do you rally want that?" Danny complained.
"Daniel Stanley Messer if you don't get your backside into that Locker room you're spending the next six months sleeping on the sofa understood?" Lindsay threatened.
"You wouldn't" Danny wobbled.
"Try me" Lindsay retorted.
"Well bang goes Lucy's college fund then" Danny sighed and opened the Locker room door "Whoa there little doggie where do you think you going" He asked his wife as she barged past him "Mac could be naked in here you know doing guy stuff."
"Oh please……" Lindsay rolled her eyes "Firstly I'm a CSI I don't think there is much in this world I haven't already seen and secondly I see you in your altogether every morning when you're on your daily underwear hunt so its not like Mac's got anything I haven't seen before is it?"
"Ahem" A slightly reddening Mac cleared his throat to alert the Messers to his presence.
"Hey Mac" Both Messers chorused followed by Danny muttering "Thank god" under his breath when he realized Mac was fully attired except for his tux jacket and his bow tie.
"What can I do for you?" Mac asked the Messers.
"Danny has something to say to you" Lindsay said pushing her startled husband forward towards their boss.
"I do?" He asked Lindsay who folded her arms and glared back "I do….We think it's rotten how Stella has been treated tonight of all nights and so does everybody else in the Lab we volunteered sorta anyway to let you know; We all think you need to do something about it."
"Stella? What about Stella she seemed fine earlier" Mac was baffled.
"That's because she's a very good actress" Lindsay told him "She never lets anyone see when she is hurting you of all people should know that."
"Who hurt her? Just give me a name and I'll personally tear them limb from limb" Mac hissed, anger flooding his body he'd kill anyone who harmed his precious girl.
"You did Mac" Danny answered his question "You did."
"How could you do it Mac?" Lindsay shook her head sadly "Treat her like that anytime at all but tonight especially."
"Will somebody please tell me what it is I'm supposed to have done exactly and why tonight is so special" Mac bellowed his chest tightening by the nanosecond at the thought of Stella coming to any harm at his hands however unintentionally.
"You still expect us to believe that you don't know what day is it today Mac?" Lindsay was disgusted.
"Friday?" He offered none the wiser.
"Are you sure you really don't know Mac?" Lindsay rolled her eyes sceptically "Yes its Friday but what else…. what is special about this Friday in particular; the third week in April why does it mean everything to Stella that you would want to be with her tonight."
"What happens once a year Mac and involves Cake" Danny tried to give him a clue "And Balloons I like balloons."
"Balloons and Cake…." Mac considered thoughtfully "Chocolate cake no Birthday cake…..Oh no no no its not it can't be…..Oh god not tonight" He choked the penny dropping at last "Stella's birthday is next week it has to be I planned it all so I could spend the day pampering her. I wanted this birthday to be a special one; I've booked a table at her favourite Greek restaurant for us both next Friday night and I've picked out a pair of diamond earrings for her I collect them from the jewellers next Monday. The only reason I agreed to take Aubrey out tonight at all was so I could tell her that I want to end our relationship because there's somebody else and I didn't want anything to spoil Stella's special day."
"You swear you honestly got the dates mixed up?" Lindsay still wasn't completely convinced.
"Trust me on this Linds when you're a guy it's easy to do" Danny told his wife "Not that I'd forget your Birthday at all….ever" He blanched.
"That's why she was in my office earlier isn't it?" Mac realised to his horror "That's why she wanted us all to have dinner together tonight."
"Not us Mac you and her alone ……as in a date" Lindsay told him "She's been trying to brush up enough courage to tell you she loves you for weeks."
"She does?" He beamed "I mean….. I had hoped that maybe she wanted….that we could…..I didn't know I swear I didn't Stella means the world to me…..I have to put this right……" Mac left the Messers stood open mouthed and dashed out of the locker room towards Stella's office "She must hate me."
He was halfway to Stella's office when he literally ran into Aubrey "Ouch Mac" She complained "Where's the fire?"
"Sorry I gotta go…." He tried to get past her "There is something important I need to say to Stella before it's too late."
"Stella?" Aubrey fumed "What about me we are supposed to be going out tonight aren't we?"
"Not any more" Mac circled around trying to pass her "I forgot what any important day today is I'm sorry but I can't take you out tonight or any night."
"What could be so important about today to make you say things like that" Aubrey asked astonished.
"It's Stella's birthday which makes it the most important day of the year" Mac explained "I'm truly sorry but you need to go now I've got to speak to her before she leaves the Lab for the day."
"She's just your employee how can Stella's birthday be more important than me? I thought we had something good going on here Mac" Aubrey demanded to know blocking his escape route by moving herself directly in front of him "You taking me out tonight remember? Said you had something important to say to me I thought you wanted to make our relationship more permanent."
"I really don't have time for this now….." Mac groaned, then he grabbed a hold of Aubrey by the shoulders and shoved her against the nearest wall "Look I'm really sorry about this Aubrey honestly I am; I had intended to do this as painlessly as possible take you out tonight then sit you down after a good meal when you were relaxed then I was going to explain everything and apologize. I think your lovely and you'll make some fortunate guy incredibly lucky one of theses days but that guy isn't me and it never will be. I know this is mostly my fault but if I'm being honest I think I have always known right from the start that any sort of 'us' was a massively stupid mistake I never have or ever will want you that way I tried to believe me I did but it doesn't work…we don't work for me Stella does…..she always did. It's Stella I need and want in my life …….she is my life and right now all I care about is getting to her before it's too late for me to put this whole colossal mess right so if you will just get out of my way…….."
Leaving Aubrey standing there shell shocked Mac dashed off through his Lab like a madman, Ussain Bolt had nothing on him but after almost knocking one extremely bemused Don Flack into the middle of next week it had still been too late he'd gotten to Stella's office to find it deserted except for the Birthday cards she's received from everyone else but him.
"What the hell have you done Mac? How could you be so stupid……" He groaned picking up the nearest card "How could you hurt Stella like this? After all these years how could you possibly forget it was her birthday today……Oh god what if she never forgives you for this? How could you let Stella think some second rate Hospital function with Aubrey was more important to you than spending her birthday with her?"
"I just saw Stella heading for the parking lot if you're looking for her" Hawkes informed Mac as he walked by.
"Sheldon I could kiss you" Mac twirled the startled Doctor around in glee then shot off towards the elevator.
"About that Mac…..I'd really rather you didn't people might talk" Hawkes yelled after his boss and strolled off "This place just gets weirder by the second ….."
Mac made it to the Lab's car pack just in time to see Stella drive off into the night "Stella come back" He yelled at the top of his lungs "Please come back I'm so sorry I forgot today is your birthday……" When she didn't return to him he shoved his hands in his pockets and dejectedly made his way back to his office telling himself repeatedly that it was perhaps for the best anyway after all they worked together and that this was probably fate's way of telling him a romantic relationship would never work between them.
Several hours later Mac found himself standing outside Stella's apartment in the middle of a stormy New York night getting soaked through whilst he paced up and down the sidewalk trying to brush up the nerve to ring her apartment's door bell. For pity's sake Mac pull yourself together you're only going to ask her one little question and asking questions never hurt anyone did it? All throughout his life people had told him to ask questions encouraged him to do so: his parents, his school teachers, his instructors when he was in the Marines…..anyway that is basically what a Detective was paid to do wasn't it? Ask people questions. So how come asking this one simple little question both terrified and thrilled him? "Why?" That's all he had to do ask her just one simple question "Why?" True if he'd been half the Detective he'd thought himself to be in the first place then he wouldn't be in this mess at all. He should have realized he berated himself angrily….picked up on what Stella was trying to tell him; if he'd been paying her enough attention when she'd said "I don't want you to get hurt again is all…..I worry about you" then maybe he'd have realized sooner that she was trying to tell him how she felt about him (or at least he hoped she had been trying to…. please let Lindsay be right he prayed) but oh no Sherlock Taylor had been away with the fairies again hadn't he? He'd been so busy trying to be considerate of Aubrey's feelings with letting her down gently that he'd hurt the one person who meant the entire universe to him. It was Stella he wanted; he was in love with her being honest he knew he always had been but he'd been too stupid (or too scared didn't matter which really) to tell her that until now.
He'd waited in the Lab for nearly two hours hoping Stella would come back (fortunately Aubrey had disappeared off into the ether so at least something had gone right this evening) finally he'd admitted defeat and gone home. He'd eaten then showered again just to have something to occupy his mind other than his despair; finally he'd tried sleeping but sleep steadfastly refused to come. All he could think of was Stella and how much she must hate him right now; it was slowly killing him inside thinking that he could have made such a mess of everything. Every time he'd closed his eyes he could see Stella's lovely face he pictured her smiling that 100 kilowatt beam of hers the only appeared when she thought no-one would notice and he longed to be close to her ……. Longed to turn back time tell her yes that he wanted to take her out to dinner or dancing or a movie that he'd even happily sit through Mamma Mia again if it meant he got to spend time alone with her. When it had gotten to two thirty in the morning Mac decided he'd had enough, he had to see Stella and he had to see her now; if that meant he had to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness then he'd gladly do it.
So here he was and taking a deep breath he did it, he stopped his pacing and calmly pressed her door bell he had to know how she felt about him whatever the answer…. He had to know "Why" because truthfully he'd been done the first day she'd strolled into his Lab and said hello.
It was raining heavily outside Stella Bonasera could hear the raindrops hammering against her bedroom window pane it had been raining heavily for the past hour and half, usually listening to the rain lulled her gently to sleep it had never failed not since childhood….. until now. Since Mac's bombshell earlier it had been like she was in a trance just going through the motions of existence but not living not really; She couldn't even remember her drive home her mind was so fuzzy. After arriving home she had run herself a two hour bath complete with bubbles and scented candles hoping to distract herself from thing about Mac and Aubrey every time she thought about them being a couple her heart seemed to stop beating. Anyway she rationalized it was still her birthday (just) and even though she'd told Lindsay it didn't matter that she was too old for such things she figured she deserved to pamper herself just a little bit. Unfortunately then as now she had been unable to relax; her mind returning over and over always back to him to Mac, he's your partner for pity's sake Stella not your boyfriend she berated herself angrily and furthermore he's made it perfectly clear he's not interested in you that way….. He's got a girlfriend remember? He didn't even wish you happy birthday did he? Get over it Stel just because he's spent every birthday with you every year since you met doesn't mean the man is obliged to for all eternity Mac is happy that's all that should matter to you after all she argued it's the NYPD Crime lab you're running not a damn dating agency! He didn't notice when you tried to ask him out did he? So knock it off with the whole teenage crush thing you're a grown woman you're not fifteen and after the whole Frankie Maia disaster you should know better. Sounded good a sound sensible Stella Bonasera type rationale for forgetting all about Mac Taylor and finally getting some much need sleep trouble was that her head might know that but her heart refused to take any notice at all it ached for Mac and Mac only. No like it or not the plain truth was she'd fallen for her best friend, she was in love with Mac Taylor. Plumping her pillows once again Stella stretched out across the bed in the vain hope of falling asleep; closing her eyes she tried to force sleep to come once more only to be interrupted by her doorbell ringing non-stop. According to her alarm clock sitting on the nightstand it was three o'clock in the morning who on earth could it possibly be?
"Stella……Stel are you in there? It's me……" A very familiar voice called out to her through the dark.
"Mac….. What are you doing here?" She called back in astonishment "What's wrong?"
"I'm an idiot" Was his reply "An extremely sorry prize winning idiot who can't believe he was dumb enough to forget your birthday and wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to him again in fact you can shoot me if you want to I don't mind."
"Can't argue with that logic" Stella grinned to herself at his apology pausing only to grab her robe before she let him in.
"Well you were supposed too" it was Mac's turn to grin to himself "But under the circumstances I think I can live with it…..am I forgiven then?"
"Where would the fun be in that ….." Stella unlocked her front door "…..Good grief Mac you're soaked through."
"It's raining out here a lot" he pointed out "…… And the prize winning idiot was in such a rush to get here….. to get to you he forgot an umbrella" He admitted sheepishly.
"In that case the prize winning idiot had better come inside then hadn't he?" She smiled and gestured for him to enter; once he was safely indoors she closed the door behind them. "We'd better get you dry before you catch your death" She told him and led him towards her sitting room where she sat him down on a battered grey couch before switching on her fire "Wait here Mac while I get you a towel" She gently instructed him.
"Anything for you" He nodded watching her leave the room.
Two minutes later she was back a towel in hand "You had better take your jacket off its wet through" She shook her head and held out the towel to him "What on earth were you thinking of?"
"You" He said slipping his jacket off and taking the towel gratefully "I couldn't stop thinking about what you said about you not wanting me to get hurt and that you worry about me; I need to ask you something important about earlier in my office …..Why Stella? Why did you ask me out? You did ask me out right? I'm not going mad am I?"
Reaching out she began to undo his shirt buttons "You should take this off too it's soaking…." Stella tried to change the subject.
"Oh no you don't Detective Bonasera I'm not moving from this spot without my answer please tell me why I'm not to proud to beg if necessary" He insisted grabbing hold of her left wrist to pull her within a hairs breath of him….kissably close actually.
"I… I care about you I suppose" She admitted refusing to meet his eyes with her own.
"You suppose?" Mac tenderly tilted her chin with his index finger so their eyes met and he could swear she was blushing "What if I said that I care about you too more than anything."
"What about Aubrey there is no way on earth I could ever compete with her it's like she was made to be your perfect match" Stella asked quietly.
"What if I said I won't be seeing Aubrey Again" He replied "Besides for the record Stella Bonasera you don't have any to compete with anyone you're my idea of perfection in every way."
"Mac Taylor whatever will I do with you" She whispered tearfully reaching out to caress his cheek with her free hand.
"Oh believe me Stel I can think of a few things" He grinned and pulled her down onto his lap wrapping her up in to his embrace "I'm so sorry sweetheart…….about your Birthday I got the date mixed up I swear to you that's the truth it's a guy thing according to Danny. I'd do anything to make it up to you anything at all you know that don't you" He tenderly whispered kissing the tip of her nose.
"Is that so……." She breathed huskily moving her lips lower so the connected with his "…….Absolutely anything at all?"
"Absolutely anything at all……." He breathed back brushing his lips against hers "I love you Stella I always have I just didn't think you even knew I existed that way."
"Mac my love for a supposedly smart gut you can be so dim sometimes" She told him between kisses "I was beginning to think I'd needed to tattoo Stella loves Mac on my forehead to get you to notice me."
"She loves me……" Mac happily trailed kisses downwards to nuzzle her neck.
"She does and always has" She concentrated on nibbling his left ear lobe.
"Does that mean I'm forgiven then?" He enquired hopefully.
"Keep working on it lover……keep working on it" Stella told him.
"Close your eyes then" He murmured gently kissing the crook of her neck.
Obediently Stella did just that "Keep them closed now….no peeking" Mac ordered before kissing each eye lid in turn then Stella felt something cold slip over her ring finger "You can open them now" Mac told her quietly.
Opening her eyes Stella stared at her hand she was wearing Mac's wedding band "B…..but you never take your wedding band off" She stammered.
"I do now" He said bringing her hand up to his mouth and kissing it "It's not mine anymore it belongs to you now Stella your birthday gift so you and everyone else knows that my heart …….that I belong to you and only you always if you'll have me that is."
"Now your forgiven" She smiled cupping his face and kissing him on the lips.
"Look at the time it's nearly 4AM" Mac consulted his watch "I think its way past your bedtime little girl."
"In that case I think I need your help kind sir…..you see my legs are much to tired to make it all the way over to the bedroom all alone" She replied innocently.
"A Marine is always happy to oblige Ma'am….." He grinned; standing up with Stella still safely cradled in his arms Mac carried her into her bedroom where he gently placed her down onto the bed Stella wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to meet her lips in another kiss "Anything for you Stel……anything at all" He murmured.
FINIS
A/N: So what do we think? Feedback is good! More "Where The Wild Roses Grow" soon hopefully. Bravo & Very Well done to everyone who didn't watch CSI: NY on April 7th & 14TH you did a superb job keep the good work up dropping the ratings is our best form of protest against this whole insulting Peyton/Aubrey rubbish particularly during episodes 22 & the not so Smacked amongst us do you really want to see CSI: NY turned into an offshoot of the Twilight saga? To quote Buffy Summers "What are we twelve?" Please show your disgust by helping us keep those ratings as low as possible we need to teach TPTB a lesson they will not forget. Although I've never watched it myself the scheduling of Law & Order SVU is a gift from the gods to us if you don't actually want to watch the show itself simply switch the TV on and turn down the sound then go do whatever you want. If we can push CSI: NY down into second place that should be the kick up the backside TPTB needs the next episode airs on the 5th May so please do whatever you can to drop those ratings as low as possible No Aubrey, No Peyton ever! SAVE OUR SMACKED!