AN/: Yeah… Lucy/Kate femslash...Weird, I know. But it made sense in my head...which doesn't say much, really. So...yeah. I HOPE fingers crossed that it's pretty good. It's not the best, I know, and it's slightly short, only 3 and a bit pages, but I'm SURE you'll live. Constructive Critism and stuff like that is good…

Oh, and I don't own Avenue Q. Though, it'd be cool if I did...but I don't. Unfortunately. I do, however have Rod tied up on my bed. Cause…you know, I'm totally his bitch.

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She had always known she was bi, ever since she was 12 and she had first stumbled across a porn website. Well, she had always known what she wanted to be since then, she wanted to be one of those glamorous women, that men wanted, and woman secretly wanted to be. So, it was that in high school, she got that 'The Slut' added onto her name. She had slept around with most of the guys by 10th grade, and was working her way around the girls. She had always preferred the guys though, so why had she just fallen head over heels in love with HER from the moment she seen her?

It wasn't right, she was meant to be here for entertainment for the guys, and by the look of the hairy monster in the corner, she was doing just that...but why couldn't she stop thinking about her? The girl on the table next to the stage, who was obviously on a date, by the disgruntled look on her face. The way she had her nose wrinkled in disgust was absolutely adorable, and the way her fur lightly fell in her eyes, and how she tried to blow it away, but it just kept on falling in that way was absolutely adorable. And why was she on a date with HIM? He wasn't that good looking, really. His hair was all poofy, and his nose was urgh! Far too off centre. What had he done, broke it multiple times or something?

She was carrying on singing her song, all the while, glancing back over at her just to see if she was showing the slightest bit of interest in her, but to no avail, if anything, she just got more disgruntled, and the guy she was with was just getting more and more lusty with every glance back. 'No, IDIOT, I'm not looking at YOU, I'm looking at HER!' she thought, as the guy winked at her for what felt like the 15th time.

'Yeah, they're Real' she practically moaned at her, but she just got in a humph and turned away, her cute hair just reaching past the top of her shirt. She leaned back in time with the music, hoping to give the girl a look down her top, she KNEW that the girl wanted her, everybody did, it was only natural, she was just built that way, but why wasn't she showing it? Why, with every infuriating second that she tried to show off her talent, did the girl keep pushing her away? 'So COME! ON! Babyyy, let down your guard' she belted, all the while, flaunting herself in the girls direction. Why wasn't she even looking at her? Was it even worth it? Maybe she felt the same way, but didn't want too? God, that'd be HOT if she did….

And now for the songs big finale, it took all of her willpower not to go up to the girl and start kissing her right there. Oh god, why was she not even LOOKING at her? She wanted to just stop singing and scream: 'LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT. WE'D BE A GOOD COUPLE, I CAN TELL.' She could tell by the cute little way she flicked her hair, by the way she sipped her wine, by the way she batted her eyelids at the guy she was with, by the way she looked ADORABLE when she was all cross.

And then her song was finished, and she went backstage. She needed to, at least, find out the girls name! Just to find out something about her, something to keep hold of until she next seen her. She sat down on a chair and held her head in her hands, just thinking about that girl, and the way that nobody had ever rejected her advances before, she had always managed to get anybody she wanted, even if it took a bit of alcohol… OH! A light bulb mentally turned on inside her brain….maybe…just…maybe…and if….but she…OH! She quickly stood up, banging her head on the shelf just above her. OW! She was rubbing her head, and as she took her hand away, she could feel the sticky wetness of blood. GREAT. She walked to her dressing room, where the nearest first aid kit was…Where WERE those INFURNAL bears?? They were always there when you DIDN'T need them, but when you DID, they just disappeared. Fuckin' typical! She opened the door to her dressing room, and THERE they were, having a pillow fight with her plush red and pink lip shaped couch pillows.

'Get OFF them, you annoying little bas-'

'Lucyyyyyy, it's not NICE to swear!!' they said, simultaneously...that always creeped her out when they said things at the same time, it was like they had some sort of mind joint connection, and that just scared her. The things those damn bears would do if they had a combined mind!!

'Now, you guys, I need you guys to listen to me and do me a favour.'

'Whyyyyyyy?' the yellow one whined.

'Yeah, what's in it for us?'

Lucy thought for a minute before answering in a quick rushed whisper. 'What's in it for you, is that you get to 'leak' my next sex video to the web.'

'Done! Now, what's the favour?' they said simultaneously again. Suppressing a shiver, she replied: 'See the two on the table by the stage? The girl and the guy, just talking now?' she pointed out the guy and the girl, that were now talking about something, she couldn't quite hear what.

'Yeeaaaaaaaaahhh?' The blue one said, raising his eyebrow.

'Well, could you get them drunk for me?' She said, in what she hoped to be an off hand manner.

'Sure! But why? Are you hoping for some fun with the guy?' the yellow one said, looking at him from across the stage.

'Or the girl, she's pretty!' the blue one laughed. Lucy blushed ever so slightly, and filled with jealousy as the blue one made a rude gesture. She gave him a ever so slight kick in the back of his legs.

'Or maybe even both!' they said, again, in perfect timing, while they rushed out and grabbed the nearest glasses of something that looked like the spillage of a petrol tank...oooh…what WAS that?

While they were over there, she looked down at herself? Did she look okay? She expertly reapplied her makeup, without even bothering with a mirror, it was a skill that had taken a couple of years to master. What about her hair? Nah, that wasn't sexy enough. She gave her hair a quick run through and shake with her hand, so it was messed up- quite like her bed hair… And there it was! Her cue! WAIT! Where was the girl? Why is she over at the bar? No! Come back! Come over here! She glanced over at where the girl was standing, and cocked her head slightly to the side…she had a GREAT ass. She rubbed her tongue sexily over her teeth, as a reassurance...well, it was too late to turn around and talk to the girl now, she was practically at the guys table now. Damn, she had to introduce herself. She really didn't want to…not to HIM. The object of her affections…

'Hi, I'm Princeton…' PRINCETON? PRINCETON? What kind of name was that? Did his parents think that naming him after a college would automatically get him in???

'Lucy.' She replied. 'Man, am I beeeeeat. I still haven't figured out where I'm gonna crash tonight'

'FEEL HER BOOB!' Oh, that annoying little bear, when she got her hands on him, he'd wish he'd never been born! She gritted her teeth and carried on..

"All I need is a warm mattress, ya know" She said, a little loudly, hoping for the girl to hear. She tossed her head back, glancing over. The girls whole body was tensed up… was that because she was jealous, of her or of this Princeton? WHY couldn't the girl SEE that she wanted her? That they'd be a good pair?

'Mines pretty cold, usually...' And it's GOING to be cold, if YOU lie in it. Though…if she got her way…she shook herself to rid herself of the good mental pictures of her and the girl fucking, her and the girl cuddling watching the TV, the girl sleeping in her –no doubt- insufferably cute PJ's.

'It wouldn't be for long…' not if she and the girl got into it...oh god.. 'Where's your pad?' she continued, hoping for some way to see the girl after this night, she couldn't just let her go like that, she wanted some way of seeing her again. Didn't she know from the moment she came onstage and saw her, she took her breath away? That she could just get lost in those gorgeous blue eyes. She needed to see the girl again, even if it was just when she was visiting HIM. God, just looking at him annoyed her.

'The drinks will be right over Princeton! Oh. Why, Hello!' And there she was. It had only just occurred to her, that this was the first time she had heard the girl talk. Wow, her voice was…well, it sent shivers down her spine, and it made her tingle with goosepimples. Her heart was beating faster, it felt as though it would jump out of her chest...oh, why did she not even know her name? 'Okay, keep cool, act natural, don't let her know that you've just thought about the two of us fucking like rabbits on this Princeton's bed.' She thought to herself, running her hands through her hair…

'I'll have a scotch on the rocks!' She said, hoping that it sounded somewhat normal..

'Erm, I'm not a waitress!' Oh God NO! She didn't mean it like that! She just meant it in the- oh for heavens sake, why was she even TRYING? This girl was just…not into her. DAMN, that was a blow. She had NEVER had anyone not want her.. it was…odd, to say the least. The girl was not into her, so what was the point?

'Lucy, I'd like you to meet Kate Monster.' So, that was her name. Kate Monster. It was so…nice, and girly. It suited her. Kate and Lucy…they suited each other…OH FOR FUCKS SAKE. STOPPIT. STOP. STOP. 'You KNOW what happened last time you thought you'd fallen in 'Love' whatever THAT was. You got fucked up, and that's when you decided that love was just a game, there were winners, and losers, and that you'd never be a loser again. You'd come out on top!' she was mentally whacking herself over the head..

'Oh, a Monster? I dated a Monster once.' The bastard. He had been her first, and HE was the one that broke her heart. Well, he'd be the last. 'But I got sick of picking the fur outta my TEETH.' And with that, she spat on the floor. THAT'S what she thought of HIM, the son of a –

'Well, if your teeth are a problem, I could take out a couple…' and with that, Lucys heart broke. Kate wasn't even REMOTELY interested. She loved this JERK, Princeton, who had been looking at another woman all night, oh, she could do SO much better than that…But she was going to pay. She could be a bitch when she wanted too. He was going to pay for looking at another woman all nigh, while he had KATE on his arm, and she was going to fucking pay because she broke Lucy's heart, The fucking BITCH. NOBODY does that to Lucy. Fuckin NOBODY. SHE was the ice cold bitch, SHE was the slutty whore who was the heart breaker, not the heart broken. Oh, just looking at them together made her blood boil. She didn't even notice them looking at her weirdly as she turned a deep red to stop herself from punching something, or someone..

'Err…it was nice talking to you Lucy.' Said Princeton, obviously feeling the tension in the air between all three of them.

'Have FUN, with your….monster.' she practically growled at him, oh he was going to wish he'd never met Lucy the Slut. And so was she. She was going to wish she'd never set foot in this joint.

'But when you're ready for a REAL woman…you'll know where to find me.' And, with a flick of her long blonde hair, a strut of her leather boots, and an evil grin on her face, she was gone.

R&R please?