TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
A/N: I was wrapping Christmas gifts for family and friends with my daughter while listening to familiar carols. "The Twelve Days of Christmas" in particular caught my attention when my daughter remarked that the traditional carol seemed to be plain nonsense. After briefly explaining to her the known, possible origins and background of the carol, this idea for an Arrow-Olicity fanfic popped into my head.
This one-shot is set after the heart-breaking ending of the Mid-Season 4 Finale episode "Dark Waters." It's my version of what happens in the twelve days following Christmas day when Felicity survives the shooting and lies sleeping in a coma in the hospital. It's a simple yet sincere exchange of "love" gifts for the holidays between them. He speaks, and she shows him she listens.
Christmas Eve had been spent in the trauma unit where doctors, nurses, and medical staff tried their best to keep Felicity alive. They struggled hard to control the bleeding from the gunshot wounds. She'd been hit in three places. Two were flesh wounds – one in her right thigh, missing a major artery by just an inch, and another in the back, just below her scar from the bullet wound when she had saved Sara's life during the encounter with the Clock King. But the bullet that hit her right side had penetrated the rib cage and lodged in her lung, causing serious internal bleeding, and this was what had been threatening to snuff the life out of her for about an hour since she made it to the hospital. The defibrillator had been used (and reused) to revive her when she crashed and flat-lined. At least twice.
Oliver hadn't been counting. He'd been too focused on watching her. Just her. No one had been successful in making him leave, even when they had to drag him bodily out of the trauma unit as he broke down in tears, begging them with pleading cries to do everything they possibly can to save her life. No one dared ask him to move away from the door where he watched her through a round glass window, which was the only thing standing between him and her, even if he was standing in the way. Because they all felt for him. Sorry? Not really. Sympathetic, perhaps, and more. Everyone – family, friends, and strangers – was just as angry at the brutality of the crime that had been done to him and his fiancée.
Prior to this tragedy, people had only known him as the lone mayoral candidate who, according to news reports in the last two days, dared defy a criminal madman hell-bent on ensuring the death of their city, and who seemed to have changed dramatically from a spoiled billionaire-playboy into a bold, courageous leader after surviving shipwreck and isolation in a God-forsaken island somewhere, and risen up from the ash heap of the collapsed Queen legacy with a renewed purpose and direction in life. This time, those who witnessed his emotional breakdown saw him as an ordinary man whose heart was being ripped to pieces as he watched the love of his life fighting for her life. They didn't need spoken words to comprehend how much he loved this woman with whom he had just gotten engaged to, the same woman who was lying bloody and motionless on their table.
The morning sun hadn't quite risen from the horizon yet when Felicity was wheeled out of the operating room and into the recovery room of the Intensive Care Unit. She had survived, and for the first time in hours, Oliver could somehow… breathe. Family and friends had arrived to console him and keep him company while Felicity was in surgery. Donna Smoak had been crying in Quentin Lance's embrace, which had been a strangely awkward way for Laurel to find out about their previously undisclosed relationship. John Diggle was just as internally distraught as Oliver, but had somehow managed to hold back a dam of tears and maintain composure like a good soldier trained to stay focused amidst an onslaught of threats. Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin had come immediately from Central City via Flash express as soon as they received the call from Diggle, putting on hold their current problems with Zoom. Thea Queen had never left her brother's side, holding his trembling hand until the surgeon appeared in the waiting room with news that Felicity had lived through surgery but was still in very critical condition.
"May I see her?" Those were the first words he spoke after hours of silent waiting. He was allowed to spend five minutes in the ICU with her, which was followed by another five minutes with Felicity's mom. That was it. Reluctantly, he stepped out of the sterile recovery room and removed the scrub suit he was made to wear.
Oliver stayed in the waiting room of the ICU, refusing to leave even to eat or to go home for a while to shower or change, unless Felicity's vitals stabilized. The members of the team knew it was futile to persuade him otherwise, so they didn't even try. He'd go in and out of catnaps, waking each time a doctor or nurse entered Felicity's room to check on her, or whenever the steady rhythmic beeping of the monitors and machines altered even slightly from their monotony. Thea and Diggle took turns bringing him food and drinks. Donna brought in his and her daughter's personal effects in trickles. Alex wouldn't come near him (especially not about campaign stuff) except to give him a sympathetic pat on the back and to reassure him that he and Thea will take care of everything at headquarters, as well as anything involving the media.
December 26th
There had been no change after the first twenty-four hours, except that Oliver had then been allowed to sit with Felicity for thirty minutes a day, for as long as she was still in critical condition at the ICU. Even though he wanted to make the most of the limited time he was given, he had instantly decided to share it with Felicity's mom. He let her visit first.
Donna's fifteen minutes weren't up yet when the door to Felicity's room opened and the older blonde stepped out. "Oliver? You go on inside, honey. I have a feeling you need to spend more time in there with her," she said lovingly.
Oliver nodded and softly said, "Thank you."
On his way to the room, Donna stopped him with a hug. "I can see how much you love my baby girl," she spoke into his ear. "Go in there and tell her to come back to us. She'll listen to you. She's strong. You're strong." When Donna pulled back, her eyes were blurry with tears.
Oliver stood beside Felicity's hospital bed and gripped the cold metal railing that kept them apart. After shifting his weight on his feet a couple of times, he began to speak to her. "I didn't get to greet you yesterday, and I really miss talking with you already, so… Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Holidays, Honey! Though, the holidays would be a lot happier if… if you were awake and I could hear you babble one more time." He managed to grin and chuckle for a moment, as he recalled a couple of times when his girl rambled and stumbled over the embarrassing verbal innuendos that he found so adorable even before they became a couple.
Oliver couldn't help it; he just had to hold her hand. So he reached for the tiny lever that held the railing in place and pulled it down. Soon her smooth, icy-cold hand was in his warm, rough ones. Not long after that, his tears fell, rolling gently down his cheek and wetting his stubbly jaw.
"Felicity… this was supposed to be our first Christmas… together. I know you're Jewish, but…" He paused to take a deep breath and hold back more tears. "What do you say we play a simple game, huh? Are you up to it? I'll come in here each day and open up my heart to you as a gift, and then… you'll have to try to give a gift back… by somehow letting me know that you're still in there, and that you're fighting with everything that you've got, just to come back to us… to me." He touched his forehead with one of his hands, and then continued, "But for this to work, I'll need to know that you can hear me, that you're listening. Okay?" He squeezed her hand. For the very first time, she didn't squeeze back.
He spent the rest of his allotted time sitting in a chair at her bedside. Holding her hand. Weeping and sobbing as never before. He wished and prayed that he wouldn't have to give and receive too many gifts before she wakes up. If she ever wakes up. Because her waking up was going to be the best Christmas gift he could ever receive.
On the first day of "their Christmas," her true love said to her: "Come back to me."
By dusk of that day, the nurses informed Oliver and Donna that they'd already been able to collect some urine through the catheter. This was a good sign that her body functions are beginning to go back to normal. The news brought a faint smile to Oliver's lips. He looked at Felicity through the glass window and whispered, "That's my girl."
December 27th
After the attending physician finished his early morning rounds, he sat with Oliver and Donna in the waiting room to explain what was to be expected from Felicity's condition. They were told that she had lost a lot of blood and had to be transfused. Their hearts sank upon learning that because her right lung and a rib were seriously damaged, she would have to stay hooked up to a respiration indefinitely because she still wasn't breathing on her own, and later on, she'd most likely have to undergo strict respiratory rehabilitation. She'd also be confined to a wheelchair for two to three weeks and then probably use crutches afterwards to give time for the bullet wound on her right thigh to heal. All of these weighed heavily on Oliver, including the fact that the doctors could only have a more definite idea about the extent of damage that the massive trauma had caused her body and mind when she wakes up. If she wakes up. "When" she wakes up? That Oliver could handle. "If" she wakes up? That was a different story. He wasn't so sure if he could picture living any kind of life without her.
Oliver was tempted to retreat to what Laurel had called his "go-to place" after hearing what the doctor had to say. It was the place where he usually wallowed in guilt and self-blame, thinking that everything bad that happened was his fault. Diggle saw it coming just by seeing the broody look on his face, and he didn't waste time intervening before his friend and brother spiraled into despair, which was something that hasn't happened in a long time, ever since he and Felicity got together.
"Don't go there, man," Diggle warned him with genuine care and concern. "None of this was your fault. Darkh is evil, in every fiber of his sinister being. He did this to her. Not you."
Oliver just closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. Seconds later, he brushed a tear from the corner of his eye and stood up to go to Felicity's room for the day's visit.
Donna easily caught on and gave Diggle a knowing look. She went after Oliver and with a warm touch to his arm said, "Oliver, wait." She smiled at him when he turned to face her. "You can have all of thirty minutes today. I'm not really up to talking to my baby girl right now. Anyways, Quentin and I… he promised to help me tidy up the loft today. I'll be back tonight with a home-cooked meal." She smiled. "I guess… I better go downstairs and see if Quentin's at the lobby already." She gave him a peck on the cheek and left.
On the second day of Christmas, her true love said to her: "I'm so sorry."
He wanted to say, "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you like I've always promised. I'm so sorry I left you alone in the back seat of the limo. I could have taken the bullets, and I deserved every single one of them for the kind of life I've lived. I would have taken the bullets, because I love you… and I… I'd never hesitate to give my life for you if I was sure you'd make it out alive. But I just… I had to get us out of there or neither of us would have made it."
But all he could utter in between sobs were those three words. He knew she wouldn't have him saying such things. She had always said, "This is my life, and I make my own choices." She had assured him more than once (and just recently at the holiday party) that she does not regret the life she chose to live – the one she lived with him… no matter how "unsafe."
After a while, he wanted to needed to say more. "I'm sorry I've put your life on the line countless times because of my crusade in behalf of my father, and then because of our mission to save this city. I'm sorry you had to be bait for lowlifes, scoundrels, and psychopaths like the Dollmaker, the Count, and even Slade, all of whom deserved to die for their violent crimes, but you wouldn't have me kill anymore… not even for you. I'm so sorry that because of the life I lead and the choices I've made you have suffered… so much."
Still, all he could utter in between more sobs were those three words. The rest of the time, he just sat there, afraid to even hold her hand. And then, just before the ICU nurse had to come in and remind him that his time was up, Oliver found the courage to articulate three more words before he stood up to leave. "Please, forgive me."
Just after sundown, the nurse told Oliver that Felicity's heart rate had steadily improved over the last twelve hours.
December 28th and 29th
On the third and fourth days, her true love complimented her.
Oliver spent all of fifteen minutes of day three just gazing at his fiancée lying there, peaceful and serene. He tenderly said while stroking her hair, "You're beautiful." He knew he had said that a number of times – on their first date at the Italian restaurant, which was cut short by a horrifying explosion that made him switch gears and push her away; on their first night alone and intimate at Nanda Parbat; in the top-down Porsche on their way to Coast City as the wind blew her golden blonde hair across her delightful face; and even just a few days ago at his mayoral holiday party as he admired how gorgeously she looked in her red dress. (Red had always been his favorite color for her to wear.) But this time was different. This was the only time when she couldn't say "Thank you," back to him with a blush on her cheeks.
Felicity Smoak was beautiful. And Oliver decided that when she wakes up, he would tell her that every day of their life together.
That day, he began. He told her that she's beautiful, even with those dark-rimmed glasses that made her look smart (because she really is, and "smart" is really an understatement). He confessed to her that she really took his breath away every time she decided to go without those glasses on a given day, because he could see right through her beautiful blue eyes into her tender, loving, caring soul. And he loved that. He told her that she's beautiful, in her colorful dresses and pencil cut skirts. She's beautiful, with those ear piercings and dangling earrings in different shapes and sizes. She's beautiful, whether in her four-inch heels or in her panda flats. Even in a hospital gown, with her unwashed hair slightly disheveled and without any make-up to conceal a few freckles and the dark circles around her tired eyes, he thought that his Felicity was as beautiful as ever.
He told her that her pretty pink lips (sometimes fuchsia or deep red) were beautiful, and that he'd never been able to resist them, especially since they got together. He told her that her blonde locks were beautiful, and that he could easily tell her mood for the day just by how she fixed her hair – in her usual high or low ponytail, up in a bun, or when she'd wear her hair down curled, straightened, or just in its natural waves. He told her once again that her eyes were beautiful, and that they always managed to get his attention and communicate what mere words couldn't. Sadly, at that moment, those eyes were closed shut, and he told her how much his heart ached, how much he missed gazing through them into her soul.
Oliver didn't stop at compliments. He went on to tell her why he though she was beautiful inside and out. With a grin on his face, he told her that, although he did not mind her having an attractively desirable body, he was proud and pleased that her beauty went beyond physical appearance. He told her that she was intelligent in her own right and brilliant at what she did – as an IT specialist, as a top executive of a billion-dollar company, as technical support for Star City's vigilante-turned-hero, and as a wonderfully brave and dependable partner in life. She was funny and light-hearted, filling anyone's dark and gloomy life with sunshine and radiance. She was loving and caring, even towards the undeserving. She exuded boldness, faith, and hope; she could cheer up and cheer on even a badly bruised, beaten up, and broken fighter. Like him.
There could only be one Felicity Smoak. She's irreplaceable, especially in Oliver Queen's life, which is why on the fourth day, after pondering on more than three years of their history, all he could say to his one true love was: "Felicity Smoak, you are truly remarkable." That time, he didn't get any thanks for remarking on it.
Oliver didn't mind that, because as soon as he left her side the doctor had told him that her fever had gone down and hadn't recurred, and that she had been responding to the antibiotics quite well. It certainly was good news. He gained hope that she would get better and that she could somehow hear him and was responding to his daily "gifts."
December 30th
On the fifth day of Christmas, Oliver walked into Felicity's room, excited to try something different to get her to wake up. He actually brought a gift and said to her, "You must miss your babies." He brought out her tablet from its leather case and placed it on the bed underneath her hand. He went on to say, "I brought you your tablet. You better wake up, honey. Dig, Laurel, and Thea are having a really tough time running your programs. I'm afraid one of your computers at the lair might conk out on us soon. No one in the team can fill in your shoes… I mean, your heels." He actually laughed a little.
After he said the words "babies," "tablet," and "computers," Oliver could have sworn that he had seen both of Felicity's eyes twitch. He waited intently for her to open her eyes, but a minute went by and there was nothing.
He called for a nurse, and they both saw her eyelids move. He then convinced the nurse to call for a doctor to check on her, but the doctor only confirmed that what they were seeing was only involuntary muscle movement in her eyes. Oliver didn't care whether it was voluntary or involuntary; he had to believe she was going to wake up. Soon.
December 31st
On the sixth day of Christmas, her true love sent her a rather unexpected surprise. "Felicity," Oliver said to her, "Roy is here." He then left the younger man in the room because he knew hospital ICU policy allowed for only one visitor at a time.
Roy had worn some sort of a disguise to protect his identity from everyone else in the hospital. He had the hood of his jacket over his head and wore tinted glasses. His hair was a bit longer than his usual, and it was dyed a jet black. Oliver had smuggled him into the hospital during visiting hours, informing the nurses that he was family. He gave Roy the entire thirty-minute slot. As soon as Roy held Felicity's hand and greeted her, her eyes twitched several times and her heart rate spiked a little bit. Nurses at the station instantly looked their way, but were relieved when the beeping of the monitors returned to normal after a few seconds.
The young man who had been like a younger brother to Felicity congratulated her for being engaged to Oliver and for being the woman who had finally made his mentor realize that he, too, could actually live a happy life. Like his mentor, Roy also bared some guilt feelings and apologized for not being there for her. He recalled some of their fond memories at the foundry and out in the field catching bad guys, and then he encouraged her not to give up and to wake up soon. He told her that the team needed her, that the city needed her, and most of all, that Oliver needed her.
That New Year's Eve, the doctors told Oliver and Donna that Felicity's vitals have stabilized and that she is no longer in critical condition. Her oxygen saturation levels were also improving, which was why she had more color on her previously paper-white face and lips. The doctors also said that with such progress, she could soon be transferred to a regular private room where family and friends could stay during regular visiting hours. Oliver felt the fireworks exploding in his heart with the news.
January 1st
On New Year's Day, Oliver reflected on the past year and thought it was very much appropriate to thank the love of his life. He wanted to thank Felicity for everything she had done for him, for everything she had been for him and to him.
He began by thanking her for working on his bullet-riddled laptop, which he claimed to have spilled latte on in a café in a really bad neighborhood. He thanked her for putting up with all his lame excuses and alibis to get her to do clandestine vigilante work for him. He thanked her for saving his life when he was bleeding at the back seat of her car. He thanked her for deciding to join his crusade, risking getting caught by the cops and even when Detective Lance had been hot on her heels. He thanked her for putting up with his stubbornness and brooding. He thanked her for standing by him even when her safety was at stake, when he had run out of ideas how to defeat formidable villains, and when her heart had been broken more than once each time he had tried to find comfort and love in the arms of women who were just as lost as he was. He thanked her for believing in him. For loving him. Most of all, he thanked her for choosing him and for saying "yes" to marrying him.
Oliver knew that she could have chosen Ray. Ray was a successful, respectable gentleman, and he couldn't deny that Ray treated her well. Ray would have given her the moon if she asked for it, and they seemed perfect for each other. They both loved science, and Oliver knew he couldn't compete with Ray when it came to technology talk. Yes, Oliver had been jealous of him, not because Felicity loved the man, but because he cared for her and could be with her in ways he thought he couldn't. He had been so jealous he couldn't breathe when he was in the same room as Ray and Felicity. He had never known what jealousy felt like until then. Felicity would have made a fantastic Mrs. Palmer for all public intents and purposes, but Oliver now knows that she wouldn't have been happy because she didn't really love Ray.
So on the seventh day of Christmas, Oliver said to her, "Thank you for choosing me."
It was painful for her when she finally broke it off with Ray, but it wasn't even half as painful for her as having to move on with her love life when Oliver had told her that he loved her but couldn't be with her. Oliver later on understood the kind of pain that he made her go through because of his fears, and he promised himself that he would never ever make her go through something like that again.
That was when he remembered the lie.
He couldn't breathe, so he left Felicity's room. He needed to be alone. He needed to think. He left the hospital and got on a train to Central City. He wasn't there to hear the doctor tell Donna that Felicity's condition was improving well enough for her to be transferred to a regular private room.
January 2nd
Oliver checked out of his hotel and took the first train out of Central City that morning. He had spent the afternoon of the previous day playing and talking with his son, and the rest of the evening explaining to the boy's mother why he had decided that he couldn't keep this secret from his fiancée any longer. He was going to tell her while she was sleeping and when she wakes up.
At first, Samantha violently objected, but Oliver put his foot down. With clenched fists and a creased forehead, he glared at her, telling her in concise yet pointed words that she had no right to threaten him or set any more conditions for him to see his son. He told her that if she continued to refuse to let him see his son freely that his lawyers would soon get in touch with her.
At that point, Oliver didn't care whether or not people discovered that he was someone's father. He decided he's man up to it. More importantly, he had come to realize what mattered most – Felicity's trust. He wasn't going to take the chance of losing it for good, which he surely thought might happen if he kept his secret from her much longer.
When he arrived in Star City, he went straight to the hospital and found Donna in Felicity's room at the ICU. He stood at the glass window and waved to her. Donna stood up from the chair and stepped out of the room to greet him.
"Good, you're here," Donna said cheerfully. "Dr. Reid said that she's doing well and is set to be transferred to a private room this afternoon. Where were you, by the way? You weren't answering my texts," she asked.
"I had to take care of something important," Oliver replied vaguely. "It's good to know she's getting better. Is there still time for me to go in there?" It was his turn to ask.
"Oh, yeah. I've been in there for just about five minutes. Maybe more," Donna answered. "Go on, I'm sure she'd be delighted to hear your voice. When she gets transferred, we can stay with her longer."
Oliver pulled a chair to Felicity's bedside and sat there for a couple of minutes trying to think through the words he had rehearsed in the train. He then leaned forward and took her hand, warming it in both his hands. He rested his stubbly jaw on the palm of her hand and then kissed it with his eyes closed.
"You know how much I love you. Don't you, baby?" He opened his eyes and looked at her beautiful, peaceful face. "I don't know if you could ever forgive me for what I'm about to tell you, but I'm willing to take that risk because… because I can't keep any more secrets from the only woman I'm finally ready to spend the rest of my life with."
He paused for a while, and then after taking a deep breath, he continued.
"Felicity, when we were in Central City helping Barry fight Vandal Savage, I saw an old friend at the coffee place… a woman I had gotten pregnant before the island. She… Samantha told me nine years ago that she had lost the baby. When I saw her with a boy, I just… I just knew he was mine. I had a paternity test done and… he is. He's my son. His name is William, and he's an amazing boy. You'd love him. Thing is, his mother wasn't going to let me be part of his life if I didn't agree to not let anyone ever knowing about him… and that included you."
Tears started to fall from Oliver's eyes just as he said those last few words. The guilt was too much for him; he had to let go of Felicity's hand for a while. He didn't feel like he deserved to touch her.
"I… I'm so sorry. It was a big mistake, and I regret it now. I should have fought her… for you… for us. Ever since we got together… No. Even when we weren't a couple yet, we've always faced seemingly impossible challenges together. You're my partner. I'm sorry I failed to guard that trust. I know you asked me a number of times what had me acting strange, and I flat out lied when I could have shared with you what was bothering me. I should have. I'm sorry that I lied to you. I know that now, and I can only ask you… plead with you to forgive me. Please, give me another chance. Please wake up and tell me I have another chance with you."
Oliver Queen broke down yet again, just like he had in the trauma unit a few days ago. On the eighth day of their Christmas together, he had told his true love the truth. "I'm sorry I lied to you."
Almost as soon as his released his pain with agonizing cries, the machines hooked up to Felicity started to beep frantically. He looked up at the monitor and saw her blood pressure spike. Her heart rate became erratic. He could see from her chest movement that she was breathing rapidly. Soon nurses were scurrying into the room, one of them yelling at the other "Go, get Dr. Reid immediately! We've got to get her blood pressure stabilized or she might suffer from a stroke, and then we'll have more problems in our hands."
Oliver heard it loud and clear. He knew it was his fault, and this time no one was going to keep him from self-blame. He wasn't going to get another Christmas gift from Felicity today, and that broke his heart even more.
They didn't have to tell him to leave the room and let them do their work. Oliver left the room willingly. He left the hospital without so much as an explanation to Donna.
January 3rd
Oliver came back the next morning. He had decided the night before – after a long talk with Diggle, and another equally long talk with Thea – that he was going to conquer his fears and stay with Felicity despite his foolish, and hopefully redeemable mistake. He'd wait for her to wake up, even if it takes a lifetime. And when she does, he'd tell her the truth and ask for her forgiveness again. And again. And again. Until she'd find it in her heart to forgive him.
Thankfully, doctors and nurses had gotten her vitals stabilized once again, but because of yesterday's scare, there wasn't going to be any room transfer. Not for at least two to three days. Unless by some miracle, the doctors said, she wakes up.
Oliver had always needed her in his life. He just didn't realize it even when their closest friends already did. That day, he opened up and told Felicity how he'd come to realize that he needed her. He told her that one of the first signs of his rude awakening was when Felicity became friends with forensic genius Barry Allen and eventually spent days by his side at Central City when he got struck by lightning. After a huge argument that involved hurling insults at each other, he had humbly admitted to her that he'd realized how much he needed her. His lips said he needed her there, that is, at the foundry…for their mission of saving the city. But his heart actually meant that he needed her in his life.
Another time was when the Count took her. He did not think twice about shooting the fiendish drug lord thrice in the chest because the lunatic had her, and he was going to hurt her, and it was clear as day to him that there was no other choice to make. That was exactly what he had told her back then, and it was what he told her again as she slept, unable to squeeze his hand back when he did hers.
Still another time it dawned on him that he needed her was when Sara was murdered. Felicity begged him to cry, to mourn, and to feel sorrow and grief over the loss of their friend, a woman he also had once loved. She walked out on him in sheer frustration, telling him that life is precious, and that she wanted more out of her life than the cold, lonely life that he stubbornly kept choosing to live, which, back then, was the only kind of life he could offer. After that, he had told Diggle that he didn't want to die alone down there in the foundry. Diggle had given him a terse answer, "So don't." Diggle had known as well as he did that part of his loneliness was the regret of having pushed Felicity away even before any real relationship could have blossomed. Even Roy had known as well as he did that he needed Felicity in his life.
The final straw was when he walked in on Felicity and Ray kissing in her office the night he'd finally decided he was going to tell her how he felt about her. He was going to tell her that he was willing to take the risk and commit to a relationship with her if she'll have him. But it was too late, or at least, he thought so. He had never needed her more than when he had seen her in someone else's arms. Every cell in his body and every fiber of his soul cried out to his girl, "I need you! I need you!" But his lips were sealed, his head hung low, and his feet carried him back to the foundry defeated.
Felicity may have been sleeping, but Oliver knew that in that ICU room he was running uncontested just like he was as a mayoral bet. He could cry out "I need you," and no one would object. No one would compete with him for her love. Not only because he knew she loved him and she had already chosen him, but also because he would fight for her to the ends of the earth if she still hadn't.
So, on the ninth day of Christmas, her true love said to her: "I need you."
"Felicity," he spoke affectionately as he held her hand, "I just want you to know that… I meant what I said at the tree-lighting event… just before I proposed to you. You are my light. You've stood by me in my darkness and helped me find my way. You believed in me when I almost stopped believing in myself. It's because of you that I have become someone else, someone better. I need you in my life. Sure, I can move on, if ever I lose you eventually… because I know you wouldn't want me to stop living. But… it won't be the same without out. Nothing would be the same. So please, honey, please come back to me. I love you very much."
Donna woke him up from his afternoon nap at the waiting room to tell him that Felicity's blood pressure had been controlled and that the MRI done earlier that day cleared her from blood clots or swelling in the brain and any sign or symptom of a stroke. Oliver knew then that his girl had decided to push on and fight to live. He could only hope that this also meant she's willing to forgive him for the lie and still be with him for a lifetime.
January 4th
On the tenth day, Oliver wasted no time and went straight to the point, following up on the last thing he remembered telling her the day before: "I love you."
He told her he loved her, over and over again. He told her he loved her as he ran his fingers through her messy hair to soothe her. He told her he loved her as he rubbed circles on her forearm. He told her he loved her while massaging her limp legs and feet. He told her he loved her as he hummed some of her favorite tunes and softly sang their favorite song. He told her he loved her each time he planted kisses on her forehead, her cheeks, her temples, and her hair. He told her he loved her until his time with her was up for the day.
By twilight of that day, Dr. Reid told him that she although she was still hooked up to a ventilator to help her breathe, her vitals were stable enough for her to be transferred to a regular private room. He got so excited that he persuaded the doctor to let him into Felicity's room a second time that day so he could kiss her, tell her the good news, and thank her for the wonderful gift she had given him for the day.
January 5th
On the eleventh day of Christmas, Felicity's private room was crowded all throughout visiting hours. Oliver and Donna let their family and friends in three at a time. Thea, Alex, and the Diggles were there. The Lances dropped by. Curtis Holt visited and spent quite some time keeping her up to speed with what's happening at Palmer Tech. Even Ray Palmer dropped by incognito, pretending to be one of her geeky ex-boyfriends (even if Oliver thought he was one). Later in the day, Barry and her two good friends from Star Labs, together with Joe and Iris West, were also able to see her even if visiting hours were over. Thanks to a certain superhero's lightning speed, they were able to sneak in and out of the room one by one under the noses of unsuspecting security and medical staff.
Every one of their visitors avoided asking Oliver about the ambush, nor did anyone bring up what the doctors had to say about Felicity's chances of recuperating from her injuries and from the coma. They had wanted to cheer him up and celebrate whatever progress their blonde friend was making. Instead, they asked Oliver to retell how the proposal went. All the while, he just leaned against a wall with a wide grin on his face, arms crossed in front of his chest, or sit beside Felicity on her bed while holding her hand – the one with the engagement ring on it. Thea and Donna were the enthusiastic storytellers. Oliver found it funny how the two women, who were both present at the tree-lighting and watched how the proposal went down, had two different versions of what had happened. He could only smile and chuckle as he listened to them amuse and confuse their visitors.
In the end, everybody expressed their congratulations to the couple, coaxing Felicity to wake up so they could help her with the wedding preparations. Thea and Laurel offered to take her bridal shop-hopping and help her pick out the most magnificent bridal gown Star City had ever seen. Ray offered to lend her any kind of jewelry she preferred to wear for that special day at "sky's the limit," just like he'd done on their first unofficial date, which earned him a growl and a glare from Oliver. Lyla promised to introduce her to the best caterers in town, like the one that had provided service for her and John's wedding. Curtis and Cisco offered to work together on some gadgets and gismos if she preferred a futuristic-techno kind of theme for her wedding reception. Barry told her she could name anything she's like for him to do for the wedding, and he'd do it. Caitlin simply smiled and whispered in her ear, "There's nothing like tying the knot, Felicity. You gotta wake up and get married. You're gonna love it like I did."
When everyone had gone and Oliver was alone in the room with his fiancée, he said to her: "Honey, we've got a wedding to plan."
Before he left to retire at the loft for the night, leaving Donna with Felicity, a nurse was happy to inform them that Felicity would soon be taken off some of her antibiotics and pain medications because she is showing remarkable improvement. Oliver thanked the nurse and then turned to Felicity with a smile. He sensed that she was fighting to come back and plan her own wedding.
January 6th
"Her vitals are stable and her wounds are healing perfectly," Dr. Reid told them that morning. "The drain on her right side would be removed later today. The only two things we are really waiting for are that she be able to breathe on her own and that she wakes up. If this doesn't happen soon, I'm afraid we'll have to do a tracheostomy."
"What is that procedure for?" Donna asked.
"Right now, the respirator or ventilator is what's keeping her alive by helping her breathe. However, it's not good to keep her hooked up to that machine for too long. While the tube is sterile, we do run the risk of her getting infections from regularly suctioning out secretions in her throat and lungs. The tracheostomy will open up a hole in her throat through which she can breathe. Patients in a coma are easier to manage that way," Dr. Reid explained.
Oliver knew it was the best recourse if nothing else changed for Felicity in the next few days, but the thought of her having to breathe through a hole in her neck saddened him. When the doctor left, he came near her, gazed as her angelic face, and smiled. He slid a hand underneath her head and cupped her cheek with his other hand. He told her again that he loved her. He would have kissed her lips too, had it not been for the ventilator tube that protruded from her mouth.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, her true love kissed her forehead and asked her: "Hey, don't you miss a proper kiss?"
When Dr. Reid finished checking up on Felicity that night, he was more than pleased to give the nurses the order that she can be taken off the respirator. When Oliver and Donna returned to her room the following morning, they were pleasantly surprised to see her breathing on her own, with only an oxygen mask on her face.
January 7th
Twelve days had gone by since Felicity survived both the ambush and the surgery. She was breathing steadily on her own, but she was still in a coma. Oliver hadn't lost hope. He knew his girl was strong. He knew it would take more than this to end Felicity Smoak.
He took off his shoes and snuggled close to his beloved. He had to lie on his side to keep his tall, huge frame from falling off the hospital bed. He wasn't sure if he was violating any hospital policy for doing this, but he just had to be near her again, and sitting or standing beside her just wasn't enough. He wanted to feel her warmth once more. He stared longingly at her pretty face and then slowly placed an arm across her waist, gently tugging her close to him.
"I love you, Felicity. Very much. It would really make me the happiest man on earth if you would please wake up… not just wake up from this coma… but wake up every day in my arms… as my loving wife… on our own bed… enjoying the soft light of each sunrise." He closed his eyes and basked in the dream he had just described for her. "Wake up, and I'll take you down the aisle in this hospital gown, put a ring on your finger, and kiss you senseless… if you want me to. Wake up, because I want to have kids with you, grandkids even, and build a family… even with the kind of life we have chosen to live. Please, wake up, because there's so much more that I want to do, that I need to do, to show you how much I love you. We can have a long, wonderful life together ahead of us, especially if Thawne's history books from the future are any good, and if I'd really live to be eighty-six years old, there's no one else I'd rather spend the next fifty or so years with other than you."
"Hmm… Sounds romantic," was Felicity's raspy, muffled reply.
Oliver's eyes suddenly flicked open. Felicity's eyes were still closed, but he could see her lips moving. He lifted the oxygen mask and tucked it under her chin.
"Honey?" He waited for a reply.
"I said… that I… never thought… Oliver Queen… could ever be… this romantic." Felicity struggled to utter every phrase because for her, it felt like her mouth and throat had forgotten how to work together to make speech possible. "Hey," she spoke softly, as the corner of her lips turned up for a faint smile.
"Hey," Oliver replied just as tenderly. His eyes were welling up with tears of joy. "How are you feeling?"
She cleared her throat and grimaced in slight pain. "I feel like… I'm ready for that… that proper kiss."
She smiled, and Oliver chuckled as he turned her face towards him.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I know," she whispered back.
He kissed her. In that one kiss he poured into her soul all the gifts of love that he had spoken to her from his heart in the last twelve days.
THE END
A/N: So, there it is… my longest one-shot so far. I hope you enjoyed it, and let me know what you think. I don't know about you, but I needed some positive Olicity moments during this holiday season while waiting for episode 10. Consider this my belated Christmas gift to all of you, especially those who favorite, follow, and review my works. May the Christ of Christmas fill your hearts with hope for the New Year ahead.