Unrequited until my last breath
by fuJi ApPLez
0o0o0o
Love is a great feeling but at the same time, it can make you feel like you want to die. It is vital for all, but it can also destroy and tear you to pieces. They say it's up to a person on how they would handle the ups and downs of love but even in the person who is believed to be the happiest man in the world lies a great sorrow that love has caused.
In that case, even an emperor like me cannot be spared. People tend to view me as someone strong, imperial and courageous but however, I tell you: I am not stone-hearted. I can be ecstatic, melancholic or anxious. I can feel every emotion like a normal man does. Most of all, I cannot be exempted from loving and even getting hurt.
Why is it that in my case, I give everything in love but in the end, I also lose everything. I still love her, even if I am aware that my love for her is unrequited. I continue to pursue my feelings for her when I know that everything is hopeless. Why is it that I still continue to love her even if deep inside, I feel my heart tearing apart. I wanted her to be my queen, my empress. I wanted her to be the queen of my son, the next heir to the throne. I wanted her to spend the rest of my life with her but sadly, there are just dreams that can never be fulfilled.
Unrequited love had been in my bloodline ever since the time of my father. He loved the priestess of suzaku but the priestess loved Tamahome, one of the seven celestial warriors. But my father was very lucky to have met my mother because he was given the chance to love again and carry his love for her until his death.
As for me, I don't know if I'd end up like my father or not. I don't know I'd be able to humbly accept my defeat, if I would be able to give up my hopeless love for her, just as my father did. I don't know if I would be as lucky as my father. I don't know what destiny is in store for me, what fate will I be in.
Tomorrow I will be facing hundreds and thousands of enemies. This war, in my opinion, will decide my fate. If I die, then so be it but I live, I will accept my defeat in love. But if I die I will die happily and peacefully because I am content in loving Reishun until eternity.
Boushin/Emperor Reizetsei
As Reishun closed the book, her eyes welled to tears.
"Boushin... I'm..." her voice cracked as tears slowly glided down her cheeks.
The door of the room softly creaked. Reishun looked in the direction of the entrance.
"Reishun," Eian spoke softly. "So you have discovered it already."
Eian sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Hush now..."
"He was hurt because of me. I wounded his heart..." Reishun buried her face in Eian's chest.
"It's not your fault, nor is it anyone's fault." Eian said. " Don't feel sorry for him or yourself. Even if he died, he was happy because he was able to have loved a woman like you. If he's happy, then we should always be happy."
Reishun wiped her tears. She then held the journal close to her heart.
I will always love you too, my best friend.
A/N: so how was it guys?? I know it's a bit cheesy and angsty.. hehe. I made this fic when I was bored... so please bear with the fruits of my boredom. Anyhow, if you guys don't mind, do drop a review.. It would really mean so much to me..