One, two, three, four, five,
No matter what the number, you're in alien hive,
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
You are lost and don't know where you are and when.
Eleven, twelve, and eight-and-a-half,
Keep your head, or you'll drop dead.
You search anyone, anything to get out,
You are desperate and you wanna just scream and shout.
Desperate? Know that there's mystery man
Who can turn desperation to cheer again.
But not only him, there are different kinds,
Please open all of your minds.
A little bit of Susan will get far,
A little bit of Jamie - "Creag an tuire!",
A little bit of Jo to crack all locks,
A little bit of Sarah - barrels and stocks,
A little bit of Turlough ("Earthlings! Damn!"),
A little bit of Peri - "know who I am",
A little bit of Ace will make you fit,
A little bit of Grace makes the set complete.
Doctor number What?
Now press that button and turn that switch,
Pull on the hugest lever, it doesn't matter which.
The boring blue and dangerous mauve,
Tick to turn cold or hot as a stove.
This screen shows place, another shows time,
Let's see what is out, maybe solving a crime.
A little bit of Rose to make things sweet,
A little bit of Martha will you treat,
A little bit of Jack for navy march,
A little bit of Donna makes things harsh.
A little bit of Amy results big,
A little bit of River for the main intrigue,
A little bit of Rory keeps the bond,
A little bit of Clara makes you fond.
Numbers, numbers,
Doctor number What? Don't care.
A little bit of Ian to be smart,
A little bit of Zoe for the future part,
A little bit of Liz - "How do you do?",
A little bit of Leela - being fearless too,
A little bit of Adric for the youth,
A little bit of Mel to find out the truth,
A little bit of Mickey to perform the hack,
A little bit of Jackie to complete the stack.
Say, together it makes a grand big mess,
But not only if you're lost this will be the best.
He says he does care for the so-called rest.
Doctor number What?