Disclaimer: I don't own Final fantasy VII and its characters.
This is just a one shot. An angsty one. Shows the complicated side of Cloud and Tifa's relationship.
Too much love can kill you, or so they say. You do stupid things for love, you sacrifice because of love, you will be selfless because of love, but you can also die slowly because of it.
Tifa Lockhart is one example of a person who would do limitless amounts of sacrifices for the one she loved, without asking anything in return. And the worst part of it all, is that the love of her life has been blind to all of it, ignoring the fact that there was a woman who would die for him, would kill for him, but the death of a comrade has been getting in the way.
Cloud Strife carried the guilt of not being to save Zack and Aeris, but the latter's death really took its toll on him. Brooding and isolating himself from those who care for him, not noticing how much he hurt them, specially one ruby-eyed barmaid who has been waiting for him every night, worrying about his very being, and loving every inch of him.
The martial artist absentmindedly wiped the last batch of glasses dry, she looked at the clock, it was 1:26 in the morning, she sighed. Cloud was not home yet and she expected that.
She laughed at herself bitterly. She's been doing this kind of thing for so long, waiting for him like this, resulting in her not getting enough sleep, for she had to wake up early the next morning to make breakfast for the kids before they went to school. Yet when comes home and finds her still awake, he knows it well that she was waiting for him, and yet, he goes on his way without acknowledging the ruby-eyed warrior. She shook her head. She was digusted with herself. But she couldn't help it.
She loved him to death.
A familiar roar of a motorcycle was heard coming near, she smiled sadly, she already knows what to expect from him. But still, she waited. When he finally came in the front door, he stopped when he saw the brunette looking expextantly at him, wearing her warmest smile for him, only for him. He stared at her for a few seconds before she spoke.
"Hi Cloud, are you hungry?"
He just realized how hungry he was, so he nodded. Tifa's face brightened.
"Well then, wait here while I fix your plate okay? I made your favorite for tonight." She smiled, then went to the kitchen. He sat on what of the stools and started tapping his gloved fingers on the marble surface of the bar. Tifa emerged from the kitchen a few minutes later with his hot meal and some lemonade. He nodded his thanks as she set it in front of him. Then the barmaid went to get herself a drink. She sat across Cloud and started drinking.
"So, how was your delivery?"
"Fine."
"Did you encounter any monsters."
"Just a few."
"Do you have lots of deliveries tomorrow? Me and the kids are going to the park after Barret takes them back home tomorrow. Its a sunday after all."
"Can't. Have work."
"Oh, then maybe yo-"
"Tifa! Please!" He slammed his spoon on the bar. Tifa was taken aback. He stood up then went upstairs, his boots slamming on the wooden floors, went to his room then slammed the door shut.
The barmaid just stood there, she couldn't move. So he was miserable after all. If only she could make him happy. But she knew only one thing can do that. Or someone.
She slowly made her way to the stairs, going straight to Cloud's room. She stopped by the door, knocked softly, then entered, the blond swordman was already lying on his bed. Facing away from her. She carefully made her way to the edge of it and kneeled on his level. She noticed his even breathing, he must be asleep.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered. "If only there was something I could do to take her place, me being the one whose dead, and she's here with you, so you wouldn't be miserable with me here anymore. Maybe you'll be looking forward to coming home everyday, and the kids will have a better mother, not like someone like me, someone who's broken." She sighed shakily. "I'm so sorry Cloud. But if there's anything, anything I could do, I'll give my life just for her to come back. So you wouldn't be lonely anymore." Her lips were shivering, she was about to cry. "Goodnight..." She stood up, took one last sad look behind her before she softly closed the door behind her.
Unknowingly to her, the blond-haired warrior was fully awake and heard everything she had said, he was now staring at his wall, eyes wide in horror. He couldn't believe she had just said those things. Does she love him that much to do that? How could he treat her like this? She just wants him to be happy. And the thought of Tifa being dead, it scared him. He wouldn't be able to take it. He would die.
He sat up, slightly shivering, but it wasn't from the cold, it was from the sudden realization that he has taken someone who loves him dearly, for granted. He burried his face in his hands.
Tifa couldn't sleep, she went back to the bar to have another drink. She sat in one of the stools, clutching her glass in her hands, thinking about her past, present and future. Was she doomed to suffer her whole life? Maybe she is. Everything was coming back to her, her mother dying, Sephiroth almost killing her and burning her town, killing her father and all her friends, leaving her homeless and begging for food for two years in the midgar slums before Barret found her. Shinra and the falling of the plate in sector seven killing a lot of people, Meteor and Aeris'death. And of course, Cloud. Her undying love for him which was never returned.
Images flashing through her mind, she was clutching her head because of the pain, it was too much. It was coming back all at once. She held her glass tight to take another drink, then she put it back down still clutching it tight, then it broke in her hand. She was bleeding now but she only stared at the blood and glass. She stood up and went in the middle of the room, her tears now falling like waterfalls, but she made no sound to voice her anguish. Her body was shivering violently, she was losing it.
Suddenly, she grabbed the table in front her without effort then threw it across the room to the wall while screaming. She did that again with another table then kicked and punched the chairs, sending small pieces of wood to scratch her face, arms and hands, she punched the marble surface of her bar repeatedly while screaming her heart out. She's already had enough. She's tired of life. She just wants to die. Her hands were bleeding, her face swimming in tears.
Just then, the blond-haired swordsman hurried down the stairs, sword in hand, thinking that there was an intruder, but saw that it was Tifa who was causing all the ruckus. His eyes widened in horror in what was happening, he dropped his sword unceremoniously then ran towards the barmaid to stop her. He put his arms around her but she was thrashing around too much.
"TIFA! STOP! PLEASE CALM DOWN!"
Tifa elbowed him hard in his gut and he fell over, the brunette went behind the bar to retrieve a knife and held it in front of her to stop him coming near her.
"DON'T COME NEAR ME! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!"
Her state broke his heart in a million pieces, her eyes were wild, her hands, arms and face were bloodied from scratches, she was shivering from head to toe. He slowly made his way towards her but she held the knife in her throat instead. His breath hitched.
"No... Tifa... Please..." He could see that the knife already made contact on her skin, there where small drops of blood. He was in the verge of tears now.
"Tifa... please let me help you. I'm here." He pleaded, his arms raised slightly in front of him.
"You'll be happier this way Cloud." She smiled sadly. Lips shaking. She slowly slid the knife to her throat causing more blood to come out.
"NO!" He ran towards her. In her state and his speed, he successfully got hold of the knife then threw it across the room. Tifa collapsed but she was caught by him before she hit the floor.
"TIFA! TIFA!" She was losing blood. He gently put her down to get his restore materia upstairs then hurriedly went downstairs whispering to himself.
"Please... please... please... not her... not my Tifa..." His tears were coming out now.
His sobbing form was now kneeling beside Tifa's unconscious body, then cast the healing spell to see her wounds healing. But she was still pale. He carefully scooped her body and held her close to his chest and sobbed even more.
How could he let this happen, he was so self absorbed in his own problems that he didn't realize how much she was suffering. If she had died right now, he would die along with her.
He slowly carried her to her room so she can lay down to her bed. He carefully pulled the blanket up to her shoulders, then set the chair right at the edge and sat down. He held her hand on his own shaking one and kissed it tearily. Images of her smile were now flashing through his mind, it him made him cry even more. He realized how much she'd put up with him, and how much she went through with her life. He promised to save her when she was in a pinch. But he couldn't even save her now. She almost died and the worst thing about it, it was because of him.
He looked into her face his eyes still full of tears.
"Tifa, I'm so sorry..." He swallowed. "Please, wake up..." He leaned down to brush his lips on hers. "Don't leave me..." He whispered against her lips.
He stood up and slid himself beside her under her blanket, he put his arms securely around her waist and kissed her cheek. He cried until he fell asleep. But not before he whispered the words that Tifa was longing to hear all her life.
"I love you..."
Author's note: Sorry about Tifa and Cloud being OCC. Well, she is a strong, independent woman but everybody can snap specially if you been strong for so long. And Cloud, I really think this will be his reaction when this happens. Should I add another chapter? or leave it like this? Anyway, thanks for reading!