Hi everyone, so, Of course I do not own the characters, even if I would love it...if I did, Cap and Bucky would totally be together ;) . If you like it, let me know, leave a comment

^-^. Enjoy!

Chapter one: Don't Go away

They've been friend since so long, Steve can't even remember when it started. He remembers playing with Bucky on Brooklyn streets, going at the same school, having him by his side when he was sick, sometime Bucky skipped school to cheer him up especially when his mother had to go to work. That was when they were in primary school. Then, they went to junior high school. Steve started being bullied, he remembers taller people mocking him, beating him, and every time, Bucky was here to defend him. Always.

They are best friends. Buckyis one of the two person he genuinely loves in his life, the second is Sarah, his mother. Steve had bad memory of high school, still bullied, he was often getting into fights,but Buckywas here to save his ass and brighten his life. He was the first person to who Steve had said he was gay, Buckydidn't judge him he just said that he was bisexual and their sexual orientation wouldn't change anything to their friendship. They've been friends for so long, they built pillow castles together, in Steve's small living room.

Sarah was a nurse, it didn't pay much and she often did more hours to pay the rent. It's not easy to be a single mother, but she was the best. She and Steve lived in a very small flat, with bad air conditioning, moisture, and a broken elevator, they lived in the fifth floor or a shabby old building. Unlike Steve, Bucky lived in a big house, with his sister. His mother, Winifred, was a teacher, and his father, George, was a lawyer, a good one. He had very good living conditions and Steve never really understood why Bucky was so nice to him, they were from two different world.

He and Bucky were now young adults, they graduated and leaving senior year and at the same time high school was a relief for Steve. He got a scholarship to enter university, he studied art and history, drawing and painting were his passions and he wanted to be an artist, he dreamed about getting an exhibition in a big museum one of those days. All the while Bucky started his training to become a soldier...yeah, he entered the army. When they were younger they both wanted to be soldier and fight for their countries, but Steve couldn't, his health prevented him from doing a lot of stuff. He had asthma, he got pneumonia easily, and the flue his for him like an aunt, you might not see her for a while, but when she comes back, she is hard to get rid off.

*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*

The sun was shining outside, Steve was sitting on a bench, facing the Hudson, it was a little bit cold, after all, it was late November. The little blond guy was sketching the river, all those light reflections over the water were beautiful. It's been three months since Steve started college, he had made some friends, Sam and Natasha, he wasn't as close of them as he was with bucky, but it was nice to have people to be with time to time. Right now, he was alone on . Despite his bad hearing, he heard the tone of his phone ringing. It was probably the worst news of his life. Sarah had been sick for a long time and but he had kept hoping that she would have defeat the cancer, but the thing won. She died on a cold November afternoon. Steve felt the tears coming down his cheeks, still facing the river, praying for this day to be a bad dream, or this phone call a very bad prank, but it wasn't. Sarah, his mother was dead. He couldn't move for at least one hour before eventually leading toward the hospital. Steve had always hated hospitals, he spends a lot of time here over the years of different illnesses and now he had seen his mother lifeless body he hated even more. He signed some paper, and took the bag with his mother's stuff in it without really knowing what was happening. He left the hospital with the condolences of some nurses who used to work with Sarah and then he called Bucky who did not answer, of course, he is still training. When he gets back to his very small apartment he saw Bucky siting, his back to the front door he gets up and hugged Steve.

''I'm sorry pal! I really am. She was a great person!''

Yes she was! Of course, she was his mother after all. He looked up to see Bucky's face, he had cry, his eyes were a bit red.

''You did not have to come you know...you've got to work! I can deal with that... I'll be okay on my own''

Bucky put his right hand on Steve's shoulder, with a compassionate look ''The thing is you don't have to. 'Cuz I'm with till the end of the line pal''

*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*

The funeral had been real quick, there weren't many people. Some of Sarah's friend and Bucky were here to share this sad moment with Steve. He had cried all along. After that Bucky had stayed at Steve's apartment all night. He had given him his shoulder to cry on. Over the passing hours, he had succeeded to make Steve laugh a bit. It was important for Bucky to see his best friend at least smile, he wanted to be sure Steve would go through this hardship and get better real quick. A week after the funeral Bucky found Steve in a dark alley being beat by a way bigger guy than the blond. He came in and punch the guys face and kick him in the butt telling him to fight someone of his own size.

Bucky was in his army uniform, seeing the weird look on Steve's face he announced that he had received his assignment for a mission in Iraq. Steve's face turned white -whiter than it already was- a week ago he had buried his mom, and now he had to say goodbye to his best friend. Steve tried to stay cool for the rest of the day, playing it casual even though he wanted to beg for Bucky not to go, to stay with him he didn't want him to be away because he loved him. When Bucky left he had said nothing and convince himself he would do it the next day before Bucky get on that bus which would take him far away.

On the next morning Steve was at the base to say goodbye to Bucky next to his family, Rebecca and Winifred were crying, George was trying to cheer up his daughter and wife but he had hard time to hold back his own tears. He briefly hugged Bucky one last time.

"don't do anything stupid until I get back."

"how can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

"you're a punk"

"jerk"

And there were the last words he said to Bucky before seeing him getting on that damn bus. He wanted to tell Bucky not to go away. He wanted him to stay. But those words were trapped inside his blond went back to his apartment sat on the sofa and drank beer while hating himself. He hated that bus, he hated the army for taking in Bucky and leting steve behind. He hated the fact that his best friend was gone

Of course he had shut his mouth. Of course he didn't say Bucky what he felt for him. What would it have change? Nothing, Bucky would have left him anyway. Maybe he would have stop talking to him, telling Bucky the truth would probably have destroyed their friendship anyway...

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, maybe it will be the occasion for Steve to get closer to Sam and Natasha, maybe he'll be able to meet people, find someone to love…at least for a night. It's been a while since Steve had a lover. It may be the time for Steve to start having fun again, and this time, without Bucky. Steve took his phone and asked t his friends if they wanted to go out with him. That night, Steve spend it laughing, drinking and sleeping with an unknown guy. He usually doesn't do one night stands, but sometimes it can be a good way to forget about bad things going on in our lives.