Like a Phoenix From the Ashes

by xTheWinterQueenx

I can't do what they want anymore, so it's not wonder they don't like me. I'm a failure, a slacker. I understand why my brothers, why everyone, hates me. I couldn't do what they wanted the most. Chazz's point of view on why he lost the respect he once had.

Authors note: A small drabble about Chazz Princeton. Both him and Jaden are quite OOC in this, but that's how I wanted it. I used this story as a way to explore the darker, depressed side of him. Enjoy!
Warnings: Depressed Chazz, mentions of sexual actions, hinted at abuse.
Rated: T
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX or any of the characters.

People are cruel, aren't they? They lie, deceive, crush, break. I mean, I have done those things, but I never meant it. Not really, anyway.

But I think they do. They all say the same things to me. That I'm worthless, and pathetic, and useless. If I wasn't true, then why do so many people say it? My brothers, Zane, Alexis, everyone at the academy. Even Jaden. Isn't Jaden supposed to be the nice one? Isn't he supposed to be the one who saves me from all my dark thoughts, from my lonlieness? That's how it goes in the stories, anyway. But, oh, that's right.

Silly Chazz, those kinds of things don't happen in real life.

Once upon a time, back when they liked me, my brothers told me a legend about a fire bird. It's called a Phoenix. Every 500 years, it builds itself a nest and lights it on fire. It dies, amongst it's ashes, but then a new Phoenix is born from it. And it continues the cycle, over and over and over. They told me i would be the Phoenix. That they were the nest, and they'd set themselves on fire, and then I would rise from the ashes and become even better than them.

But that never happened. I let them down, so no wonder they don't like me.

I don't like this academy very much anymore. I'm always lonely now; afraid, even. People say mean things to me; they taunt me and trip me and beat me. And they call me a slut; they say I did things with Sartorious and that's why he treasured me so much. But I don't think i did, did i? I liked him, he was the first person to really make me feel accepted. Loved, even. And don't you do those things with the person who loves you? So why do they hate me so much? I just want to know.

Maybe I can make amends somehow! So then I won't have to sit alone at meals. And so I might get some friends. And so maybe people will actually want to talk to me again. But probably not. I mean look at me. I'm a failure. I've done everything wrong.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't be their Phoenix. And that's why no one wants me.