Author's Note: Hey you guys! I know it's been forever since I've posted, but I hope this story will make up for it. It's going to be another fic with a sick Doctor, cause I love those. I haven't been able to warm up to Clara yet, so I'm hoping this story will help me do that. I'm planning on it being a multi-chapter fic, and since it's summer I will do my best to update daily. I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Doctor Who.
"You promised me, please, you can't do this to me... Please!"
"Come along-uh, come on, Clara." The Doctor said, about to swing open the TARDIS door.
"You've got to stop doing that, ya' know." She responded, annoyed.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about that tone of voice you get, when you realize that I'm not the person you'd
rather be talking to."
"Oh, come on, do we have to have this conversation now? Just outside this door is some new,
unexplored world that could hold any number of possibilities, and you're worried about the way I call
you to follow me?" The Doctor rolled his eyes.
"So it's true then... There is someone. Someone you'd rather have here in my place." She didn't
make any notion that she was about to make any movement towards the door. The Doctor sighed,
walking over to her.
"I never said tha-"
"But it's the truth and you know it." Clara shoved him away. "Why am I even here? Am I some
consolation prize to you?!"
"Where is this coming from?!"
"Answer my question or I'll never speak to you again! I want the truth, Doctor. Please, I have to
know."
Her voice became small and weak as she finished. Staring at a fixed point on the floor, it took
everything in her to keep her eyes from filling up with tears. The Doctor knew that he had to say
something, but if only he knew what that was exactly. He settled for what felt right. Very slowly, he
stepped in front of her, taking her hands. She looked up to meet his eyes halfway, and her breath caught
in her chest. Those hazel eyes stared into her soul, and she longed-no, needed-to know what it was that
she saw behind them. What could possibly cause the amount of pain below the surface of his existence?
Who was she to him? Did she matter? He began to speak in a calm, low voice.
"Clara... Clara Oswin Oswald. Believe me when I say that I need you here with me, and that I
would never, ever trade you to be with someone else, no matter who they were or what they'd done for
me. The truth is, I'm scared that you will leave me too. I try so hard to hold on to my present, that it
takes me a while to realize that it's not the present anymore, and everyone moves on. Everyone but me,
I guess." She was speechless. His hands were shaking as he tried to keep himself together. It wasn't fair,
he realized. I wasn't fair that he had to keep all of this pain on himself, while others got to keep going,
have a normal life, and eventually die. Death seemed so wonderful sometimes, an escape. But he was
trapped, trapped in life, a constant cycle of live, love, lose.
And suddenly, it wasn't about Clara anymore, and she knew it. But, it was okay. In a natural
movement, she got down on her knees as his buckled underneath him. She steadied him onto the
TARDIS floor, and wrapped her arms around him. They didn't need words. As the Doctor fell into his
thoughts, he realized he couldn't hold onto his past anymore, yet he couldn't run from it. He couldn't
keep pretending like he was happy, but he couldn't always be sad. Clara rubbed circles on his back.
What they shared went beyond friendship. They had a bond that could not be compared to. Finally, she
broke the silence.
"Doctor?"
"Yes, Clara?"
"I don't care if there is someone else. All I care about is that you're with me now. That alone is
more then I deserve."
"You are incredible Clara. If you never learn anything else from me, if in all the time you spend
traveling, you only get that one thing, just know they are the truest words I have ever spoken." She let
that sink in and she closed her eyes, pulling him tighter into a hug.
"You should say that to yourself a little more often, Doctor."
That was when he broke. He reached his arms forward and pulled Clara close to him., so close
he could feel her breath on his chest. She closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. Dun-Dun-Dun-
Dun.
"Doctor?"
"Yes, Clara?"
"Promise me that you'll stay with me forever." Clara didn't understand how much that question
meant to the Doctor. How could he make a vow like that? He didn't know where the future would take
them. He'd left all the rest of his companions, how did he know that he wouldn't come to his senses and
just leave her at home one day? Or, even worse, what if she didn't make it that far?
No. It was time that he told the universe how things were gonna go.
"I promise."