You ever read a love story? Two lost souls find each other, lots of kissing, that shit? Well, if you have you know there isn't always a Disney happily-ever-after at the end. So if you like those you might as well find another story.
The story I got starts with Miss Bonnibel Bubblegum, Queen of the Immediate World, asking me to do some recon work for her. I was in the graveyard the other night, working on a new ballad when she shows up and says, "Marceline...?"
"The one and only."
"Uhm, I need your help with something."
"What can I do you for?" Her pink cheeks flushed pinker.
"Well, I'd, uhm, appreciate it if you could... Find out more about Flame Princess. And her... relationship with Finn." I smirked.
"As in, does Finn have a pair of lips burnt into his-" PB looked like she was about to cry.
"Chill, B, I didn't mean it," I said, "I'll scope out your princess, k?" She nodded.
"Thank you."
The same night, Flame Princess paced back and forth. Where was Finn? He had said he'd be here by now! Just then her Nokia buzzed. A text from Finn, breaking the date because another quest had come up. She stared uncomprehendingly at the screen. Apparently their anniversary was no match for his heroic nature. The princess threw her phone at the wall of her room and flopped down on her bed, not looking for stray bats in the corner.
"Finn, why don't you ever have time for me?!" she wondered out loud. Near the ceiling of her room, Marceline had no answer.
If you know me (which you obviously do), you know I can make myself pretty small when I want to. And it helped that Flame P had some stuff on her mind, so I'm not surprised she didn't see me. I had myself wedged in a corner of her ceiling at the time, watching her mope around the room and try to crack open the wall with her indestructible phone. I was pretty surprised, though, when she started to unzip the back of her dress. Started to, because the zipper got stuck halfway down. She yanked it the rest of the way, adorably frustrated. I would've been lauging if a flippin' sex goddess hadn't suddenly popped up in the middle of the room. The sheer level of hotness could've stopped my heart if- well, you get it. Anyway, I'm stuck in the corner, my face is all hot (which doesn't happen much, I gotta say) and... You guessed it, red lace.
Flame princess was just so f***ing done. She had a sanctuary for times like this, an active volcano at the edge of the kingdom. Changing into a more casual version of her dress, this one deep red and satiny, she set off for a hopefully less disappointing place. Around halfway there she realized she was crying. She reached up to stop the flow of tears but they were already vapor on her cheeks. Walking up to her volcano, she ran her hand along the wall until she found the chunk of quartz that marked a secret entrance. Flame Princess pressed down on it and walked into the heat.