Call Me When You're Sober

Subaku no Hime: I'm filling in as I go here, peeps. I have nothing really done, so this is off the top of my head. Constructive criticism, if you have it, is welcomed with a big hug and cookies. Flames will be used to make Toaster Strudels (TM of Pillsbury) cuz my toaster is on the fritz. Let me know what you think: am I doing anything right/wrong? Give me some ideas here, cuz I want to make people happy ;)

Disclaimer: me no own. I own nothing but a broken toaster and a computer. My dog and cat own me…furry monsters that they are oh, and I own a Wii, but that's with my boytoy as well, so that doesn't even count. Sobs brokenly…

Summary: Sakura had to leave Konoha in order to save Sasuke, not that he'd ever care. Three years later, she's made a life for herself and an assumed identity, when she's called back by Tsunade. She leaves her life and friends behind again, and a new lover as well; but she doesn't realize her lover had a secret of his own. Why was she called back to Konoha, and will she be able to forget her new life in favor of her old one? And why, in the name of the kamis, does she have to go to Sunakagure?

Pairing O/C Sakura x O/C Gaara. Warning: does not really follow manga after Chuunin exams, save for the fact that Sasuke leaves.

Sakura's New Life

Naru touched up her mascara and gave herself a quick once over before she dashed for the door with a shrug. 'Look pretty,' was all that her friend Kellie had told her before leaving to get ready for the bar. Naru always tried to look pretty, so she didn't really see what the problem was.

Kellie was her very best friend in her new life here in the city. Naru wasn't even sure what the name of this city was, to be honest. She'd never really cared. For the last three years, she'd been moving around, and only one person had any sort of idea where she was now.

But, she thought with a small cringe, that was all for the best, after all.

Briefly, she thought back to the last day of her old life, and the thing that that bastard had told her. He'd said she'd better disappear. She'd almost laughed in his face, except for the fact that he held up one hand to silence her.

Naru vividly remembered the damn Akatsuki robe he'd worn. The thing that completely enveloped him from neck to foot. Not that it'd hinder him at all, being as high class a ninja as he was, but it would be much easier if she could see where Itachi's muscles were tensing so she knew where an attack would come from. His dark red Sharingan eyes had met hers coolly, and he'd smirked in that way he had. The smirk that made him look like an older Sasuke.

She'd always been vulnerable to that smile.

Sakura hadn't bothered to read the kanji on his ring as he silenced her. It wasn't like she'd ever mistake him, after all. He was Sasuke's older brother, damn him, and the murderer of his whole clan.

Then he'd told her the one thing that could make her leave her beloved Konoha, and her friends. The only thing that could ever make her leave Sasuke, even though he wasn't nearby anymore. He'd left long ago to join the bastard Orochimaru.

Itachi had caught on to her weakness, not that she'd ever tried to hide it. He'd told her he'd kill Sasuke if she didn't leave. Then he said he'd take her and make her bear a dozen Sharingan users for him.

Creepy, was all Sakura, now Naru could think. But of course, being Itachi, that would be the only way he'd ever be able to get a girl, she mused to herself.

Naru shook her head, rejoining the present day. Smart move, since she was about to bash her overlarge forehead into the door to her apartment.

She raised a brow and straightened her white skirt; glad she had the legs to carry it off. Her white heeled sandals clicked on the floor as she grabbed her keys from the tiny purple purse she carried. That was her very favorite purse. It was a small clutch with a change purse clasp and sparkly patterns all over.

Naru ran a hand through her henna-ed red hair and moved her butt. Racing down the stairs from the third floor, she saw her friends waiting at the secured door.

'Naruuuu-chaaaaan,' Kellie yelled at her as she came into the plain lobby.

'What is it, Kellie,' Naru asked, sort of cranky. That was a part of her new persona, being cranky. She'd grown sick of always being cheerful, and always being everyone's punching bag. She'd decided that if she had a new life, she was going to be herself. Period. And nobody was going to change her. If they didn't like it, well, they were welcome to piss right off.

'Come on, Naru,' her friend said.

Naru didn't really like the chan part there, though. After all, that was a part of her old life. She'd moved to a different country to escape Itachi and Sasuke. She didn't need the constant reminders of phrases from home.

Kellie laughed diabolically, and Naru felt a chill go down her spine. 'Come on, Naru, we have plans…'

'Plans,' Naru grumbled, 'what kind of plans are you talking about, Kellie?'

What do you think, inner Sakura/Naru asked, someone is going to get laid tonight.

Naru smirked to herself, wondering which one of them they had their 'plans' for tonight. Kellie was single, and enjoyed it. She made no bones about that. Manda liked dancing and slutting it up for the boys, but she was too lazy to take anyone home at night. Her reasoning was that she didn't want to have to deal with the morning after crap, which was more stressful than it was worth. On top of that, she said she didn't want to bother with a relationship, because it was too much work.

In that, Manda reminded Naru of Shikamaru. Lazy, lazy, lazy.

Nik was, well, he was Nik. He didn't take girls home. He was gay.

And he didn't pick up at the clubs they went to, because there weren't enough single gay guys there. Nik was notorious for being waaay too picky with his men, though Naru didn't blame him. She was even pickier.

Naru danced gleefully with anyone nearby, which was mostly Mandy, Nik or Kellie. The music thrummed in her veins, bass rocking through her skull, relaxing and enervating her at the same time. She was already half soaked with booze, which she didn't mind. Being drunk was fun, but only if she had friends around her she trusted.

Recently, trusted friends had been in short supply.

Her current group of trusted friends was from school, where she studied naturopathic healing and acupuncture, along with business and philosophy.

Naru was a busy, busy girl.

Now and again, the group would retire from the floor to get more drinks. Soaking themselves with alcohol. Sotted. Wasted. Why not? What would be the point in going to a club to get drunk and dance if they didn't get drunk?

Briefly, Naru wished it was ten years ago and she was twelve again. Before Sasuke left. Before all the problems. When they were still genin and she could still use her ninjutsu. She couldn't even practice anymore, since she wasn't in a hidden village. She had to suffice with exercise and pretend she'd never known how to be a ninja. She had to pretend that she hadn't become a chuunin, and then passed into jounin with only a few months in between.

Tsunade sama had wanted her to become a special jounin, or even join the ANBU squad before she'd had to leave.

Shaking herself back to reality, Naru watched as Kellie smirked in her pretending-to-be-evil manner. She liked to think that it struck fear into the hearts of her friends, but it just looked silly, her delicate brows scrunched down as her light voice tried for a heavy tone.

'Kay, Manda, Nik,' she laughed her evil, evil laugh.

Naru glanced at her friends; sure she wasn't being let in on something. She frowned, wondering what the joke was, as her friends stared at her with strange eyes. Glaring, lascivious eyes.

Naru felt a dark chill worm its way down her spine.

It proved to be an accurate assessment, as Nik put in his two cents. 'It's your turn to get laid now, Naru,' he offered, cheerful. His lightly made up eyes blinked at her, puppy dog style.

'Those eyes don't work, Nik, hon.' she replied flatly. 'Your eyes are way too blue for that.'

'Well, why are you complaining?' he asked her 'Your eyes are the same shade, and I gave you all those great makeup tips…'

Naru shrugged. 'You're right, you did. But the blue puppy dog eyes don't work on me. I'm immune.'

'But Naru,' Kellie giggled. 'That's no the point. The point is that you're always complaining about needing to get laid, but you never take any of the pretty boys home.'

Manda nodded. 'She's right, Naru. You dance with all the hotties, but you never even let them touch you. So why do you complain about it if you won't do anything about it?'

'Ah- heh,' Naru offered, mind whirling. Should she laugh and refuse like normal? This wasn't what they usually did when she whined about not getting laid. They usually whined with her, and then Kellie brought some new guy home.

Sometimes Naru wished she didn't mind being a slut like Kellie.

But she wasn't. She couldn't even pretend to be.

Naru debated as to whether or not she should just go along with the trio and humor them for a while.

She pressed her lips together, not really sure. Discomfort…

Manda blinked puppy dog eyes at her, and Naru felt herself smirking. Manda's puppy dog eyes worked, because they were big and brown. Somehow or other, Manda's eyes were always shiny like she was on the verge of tears if she didn't get what she wanted.

'Any likely candidates?' she asked offhandedly.

'A few,' Kellie chuckled at her, surprise marring her brow. 'But wouldn't you prefer to pick out your own grapes?'

'Hn,' Naru smirked. There was her out. Bonus! 'Yeah, I think I would,' she conceded.

'Have you been scoping out the hotties?' Naru shrugged. She hadn't, really. There wasn't much of a point to it, since she hadn't been intending on doing anything but dancing with them. And it didn't matter to her how her dance partner looked. 'Okay, you can take until one to find your own toy. If you can't before then, I call dibs on interference.'

'Interference?' Naru asked, not trusting Kellie in the least.

So much for trusted friends, she huffed to herself. I don't know if they're trying to get me laid, or get me hurt. I can't pick a toy in three hours. I don't know any of them, and I don't know if there's a mass murderer here or anything sick like that.

Wait. Naru smirked to herself it doesn't really matter if anyone tried to hurt me or not. I'm a jounin. Even if I'm out of practice, I have to be stronger, faster and meaner than pretty much any civilian out there. That's why they give jobs to the hidden villages. The civs just can't do it themselves, because they don't have the physical or mental resources.

'Yeah,' Kellie brought her back to the bar with an almost physical thud. 'If you don't want to know what it is, then pick yourself someone.'

'But what if there's no one to my taste?' Naru asked. She wasn't sure. She hadn't really been looking. She'd been dancing and getting drunk with her friends.

'I know there are at least ten single guys here who fit your type, Naru,' Manda offered, pseudo-helpfully. 'Cold and a little cruel with dark eyes and funky dark hair'

'But that's-'

'Are you looking for happily ever after with a white picket fence and babies?' Kellie raised a sardonic brow at her.

At Naru's unabashedly horrified look, she nodded cheerfully. 'So, all they have to do is fit a physical type then. If you don't like his personality after you're done with him, just leave before he wakes up'

(Subaku no Hime would like to take a moment here to say that random sex is dangerous. Never, ever, ever have sex with a random stranger. You never know, you might wake up with aids, or you might wake up being tortured to death by some sicko. This is only a plot device. Do not, do not do not under any circumstances ever sleep with someone you don't know very, very well. Period.)

Naru smirked. She hadn't really anted to do it like this, but whatever. It didn't really matter anymore anyway. Why bother hesitating? It wasn't doing her any good. It wasn't like the he that she'd been waiting for was ever going to do anything about it.

Besides, if she got really uncomfortable, she could always just leave, couldn't she?

'Okay,' Naru conceded, 'but you have to feed me more drinks while I have a look around.'

Kellie smirked, and ran off to the bar, leaving Naru with Manda and Nik.

Now, she thought to herself, who looks just a little bit…difficult?

All the guys that resembled him looked… easy. Or they looked too cheerful and not nearly brooding enough. Or they looked sloppy. Naru glanced around at the quietly relaxing ones. Who looks… she thought to herself, wait, there's one now.

He stood, tall and impassive, gazing stoically at the people dancing on the floor. He didn't look easy. But he looked enough like the him that she'd been fruitlessly waiting and pining for, for so many years that she might be able to drink herself into the belief that it was actually the right guy.

Well, she thought about going to that one, until his friend brought back their drinks. The two beautiful men shared a searing gaze full of promises.

Naru decided then to move along. Nik might have a better chance with that one, she smirked.

She noted a boy with brown hair standing with his back to the bar as he lifted a drink to his lips. It looked amber, like some kind of hard liquor, straight up, but she couldn't r3eally tell from this far away.

The boy-man wasn't particularly large, nor tall. His hair was sort of, well, mussed up. It looked as if he'd just gotten out of bed, and hadn't bothered brushing his hair.

Naru felt a tug in her stomach as she thought about said young man getting out of bed all mussed up and tousled.

His rather voluminous clothes didn't managed to hide the fact that he was almost painfully thin, but his posture indicated strength. She wasn't sure if it was physical or mental strength, but the weak never stand that straight, their gaze never that penetratingly direct.

Naru's gaze meandered back to his face and widened in shock. There was some sort of marking on his forehead. An unmistakable bright red color that she'd only ever seen once before. Naru's breath caught in her throat.

No, she sighed in relief. It wasn't kanji. It looked to be some sort of tribal design.

Naru breathed again until she looked at his eyes. He'd noticed her stare. She could feel her ears heating up as she realized that he was giving her the same intense scrutiny she was giving him.

She blushed and met his eyes boldly, refusing to be the one to look away. Refusing to be submissive. Just because she wanted to. Just because she'd seen his type before. She'd dealt with people of his type before.

Sasuke.

Kellie pressed a drink into her hand, following her gaze as the moment broke.

'He's not really your type,' Kellie mused. 'He's a little too freaky.'

'Yeah,' Naru agreed.

'But I heard the freaky looking ones will try almost anything,' Naru could hear the smirk in the other girl's voice. 'Is that a drawing on his face? What the hell is wrong with him? I hope it's not a tattoo. That would make it really hard to get a job…'

'That's a horrible stereotype,' Naru complained. The way he dressed and decorated his body didn't mean that he was some kind of freaky killer or sicko, did it?

Naru chuckled as she watched a girl walk up and try to talk to the man with the drawn on face. He simply turned away and met Naru's eyes again.

'Is that interest I see, Naru?' Kellie laughed, pushing Naru. 'I think so. He ignored her, but on the other hand, she isn't as cute as you, but…'

'More drinks,' Naru mumbled. 'I need more drinks.'

'Liquid courage,' Manda piped, walking off.

'Will you go to see him if you drink more?' Kellie asked.

Naru blinked. 'I'll probably drape myself all over him. You know I'm a cuddly drunk.'

Kellie smirked and guided a half plastered Naru to the bar. 'Three killer kool aid,' she ordered the bartender, leaving more than enough cash for the drinks and a healthy tip. (Always tip your bartender!)

'Drink quickly,' Kellie laughed quietly. 'I'll drop you off near the pretty freak on the way to the ladies room. I'll check up on you when I get back.'

'What will I say, Kellie?' Naru asked, gulping the second drink quickly.

'How about hello?' a dark voice asked quietly from behind her. His voice was so soft, she almost missed his words, but she felt the heat of his stare on her neck, and a trickle of awareness snaked down her spine.

Subaku no Hime - please read and review. any feedback (other than flames) is most welcome. ideas???

Next Chapter- Naru's New Boytoy.

she met him at the bar, now what happens? And why is he so familiar... what will she do when she's called back to Konoha? and what's with this? Itachi appears soon?

warning- mild lemons, not descriptive in the next few chapters. lots of fluff coming up.