Song Fiction #1: All Around Me
All Around Me
Disclaimer: This is my first ever song fiction, be nice xD I do not own flyleaf, the lyrics... or Adam Lambert, and Tommy Joe Ratliff. Rated M, for self violence use of alcohol, and profound language.
My hands are searching for you...
My arms are outstretched towards you...
I feel you on my finger tips my tongue dances behind my lips for you...
He is gone.. he has been gone for the last few months..
I..I couldn't grasp around the fact of it.. my heart was yearning screaming at me telling me no, that it wasn't true.. that he would walk back into that door, and come right back into my arms... I still felt him...everything every memory is scorched burning through my brain on constant repeat.. in fucking overdrive mode... I still crave him.. I still love him.. oh god.. do I still love him... and then... and fuck well and then.. I thought I seen him... I'm on some serious crack or something...
iThis fire tuns in through my being I'm not used to seeing you/i
Ever live wire deep within my being went haywire.. completely crazy when I "seen him" only I know it's to good to be true... I know the truth.. I know my baby boy is gone... as much as I'd hate to admit it or wish it wasn't true... there is nothing I can do about it..
I'm alive...
I'm alive...
But I don't wsnt to be...
I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing..
Everything I do.. Every time I close my eyes..and everything I feel..
Every time I breathe... and... it's just him... everything is him...
I can't breathe...
Tears streaming down...cooling my alcohol burned...red face...
I made my way down the hall.. collapsing in the bathroom.. rolling my self into a ball... and cried.. cried my fucking eyes it..
Holding on to what I'm feeling...savoring this heart that's healing...
"Healing..Healing..." I kept on repeating to myself through my tears...
"They told me I would heal... but I'm bleeding... I'm bleeding through the inside fucking out.."
I sat up lazily looking around the room with my stinging blood shot shot...tear filled eyes... they fixated on one thing... the only thing... that can catch my eyes...
My hands outstretched snatching the jaggedy metal object... taking it... and... cutting it deeply.. deeply along the narrow dark blue vein... and then... then I drifted... my eyes starting to droop and my arms screaming in pain... and blood trickling everywhere...
My hands float above me...and you whisper you love me..
and I began to fade...into our secret place...
The music makes me sway... the angels singing say we are alone with you... I am alone and they are too with you.../i
I faded deeper... enjoying the pain.. and enjoying the memories.. a smile slowly creeped onto my lips
I'm alive..
I'm alive..
I can feel him all around me now.. his presence burning.. scorching my skin...
iI can feel you all around me..
thickening the air I'm breathing...
holding onto what I'm feeling..
savoring this hear that's healing..
Healing! Barely...
My skin shivered in delight... as my breathing began to shallow... my heart still aching to heal.. the light is white... and I was choking on my breath... the pain now taking me over.. taking me as it's own... last fighting tears escaped my eyes... it was unbearable... and... then...and then... I saw you.. I saw HIM.. my baby boy.. It's really him...
I'm alive...
I really am now
I'm alive
I'm alive
I can feel you all around me,
thickening the air I'm breathing.
Holding on to what I'm feeling...
Savoring this heart that's healing
It...it's really healing...
"Take my hand" Adam's voice called out cooly and lovingly, just like I remembered...
I gave it to him.. now how owns me... all I am..
"You said you'd never leave me... I believed you.. I believed...
I can feel you all around me.. thickening the air I'm breathing...
Holding on to what I'm feeling.. Savoring this heart that's healed..
"I know I said that glitter baby.. I'm sorry" Adam's eyes shot down in sorrow... and I pulled him into a hug...
"It doesn't matter now.. we are together again"
and I am HEALED.