A/N: Oh man, this inspiration comes from the movie, Life As We Know It, but I can assure you they'll be quite different. I didn't really want to take this on, but the idea popped into my head, and never really left me... so I don't know what I'm doing here, but let's just ride out this roller coaster, shall we?
It had been a long-ass week... to put it gently. Things in the life of Andy McNally had been going far from right from the day she got back. But, more or less, she was starting to fall back into the swing of things.
At her own pace.
Which her therapist said was normal, so, she wasn't too worried. Even if the girl who was used to mapping out months of her life at a time, was now limited to five minutes.
Today, for the first time in a long time, she tried hard to believe she'd get there.
She could work closely with not one, but two of her exes in close quarters. Not to mention one of her exes new girlfriends.
That was where today had gone so terribly wrong. They had a blow up a couple of weeks ago when they first rode together, and decided they best keep their distance as much as they could. They could respect one another professionally, but their personal lives had too much over lap where a certain 'love of her life' was involved.
Riding together today was tense. Nothing was easy, they didn't trust each other the way partners should.
She wanted to fight for Sam. She had been determined. But that went out the window when she discovered that he didn't want her too. That he simply wanted simple. That he expected her to give him a shot at something uncomplicated, and find out if it could go deeper.
It stung. She tried to hate him, but she couldn't say she blamed him. She'd done the same thing once upon a time. Luke Callaghan was supposed to be her simply simple, her uncomplicated. But then it got complicated, it got deep, and it fell apart. In time, faking it stopped being enough, and she really had to give it a shot.
It ended with her being homeless, sort of.
Sam always pushed her to Luke, and she had pushed him to Marlo. He played a martyr, and she had been fooling herself thinking she could let go.
So Andy backed off. And not just 'lurked in the shadows at the Penny when she saw them enter, but secretly study their movements' backed off. She backed off.
If deep down he loved her, it wouldn't work with Marlo. And if it did work out, maybe that was the universe telling her something.
Andy laughed at herself and sank further into the luxurious bubble bath she'd drawn herself the second she walked through her door after shift. Poured herself a big glass of wine too.
The fucking universe, trying to tell her something. She washed the thought down with a big gulp of pinot grigio.
She's pretty sure she got the message, eight months ago. Loud and crystal fucking clear.
Her cell phone is ringing in her bedroom, the distant steel guitar strum of 'Devil Takes Care Of His Own'.
Claire's calling.
She puts her wine glass back down on the edge of the tub, and slips her ears under the water, deciding she'll just wait it out. The noise of the empty and quiet room is cut off the moment the water cradles her face, everything submerged but her nose and mouth.
She can feel the water sloshing against the sides of her porcelain tub, sometimes passing over her lips until finally it stills too. Just like all the sound.
Nothing can pierce the serenity she's found in her bathtub this evening, and she just wants to be consumed by it.
The thoughts of her day are becoming nothing but a distant memory as she digs a little further back, to the last time he was here with her.
"This is nice." She said, head leaning back against his chest while he ran her luffa up and down the tops of her thighs under the bubbles of her steaming hot bath.
He hummed in agreement and pressed a kiss to the hair above her ear.
"I should get sick more often." She laughed, quickly turning into a cough that came deep from her diaphragm. Sam pushed her forward a little and rubbed up and down her spine before she fell limp against him again.
"Wanna say that again?" He chuckled, turning her head slightly, going in for a kiss.
"No." She said, meaning both that she wouldn't jinx herself again, or kiss him. "Last thing I need is for you to be sick."
"That's sweet McNally, caring for my health-"
"Not really." She mumbles, focusing on her wrinkly fingers for a second before he nudges her, looking for the real reason. "Who'll take care of me if you get sick too?"
He chuckles again, his forehead falling to meet the side of her tilted head. His laugh gets her going too, which eventually brings them back to her cough.
"How many sick days do you have?" He asked, moving the luffa to her arms, running them up and down, easing her back into him once more.
"Enough."
He nodded and slid down further into the tub, bringing her with him, and eventually moved his foot to the tap, adding just a little more hot water. They'd both lost track of just how much time they'd been in there, but if her prune-y skin was anything to go by, it was time to get out.
Neither could, or wanted to, propose it.
"I have the next two days off, and you have no food..." He started to say, unsure of how else to say he was going to be nursing her back to health.
He didn't even have a sarcastic way of saying it, twisting it to sound like a great inconvenience, but for her he'd do it.
The hot water was truly draining him.
"You can't sleep here Sam, I cough all night." She sighed, giving him her biggest of big doe eyes. As much as she wanted him there, he'd end up grumpy, and they would walk on eggshells to avoid an inevitable fight.
"Got your Vicks rub?" He asked, voice even. She nodded. "Well I'll be sure to rub it in reeaal good."
His voice had changed, lower, huskier, his mouth is hot and open against the back of her neck.
"And you'll sleep like a rock." He whispers closer to her ear, the hot air that he breathes with his words sending shivers down her spine.
"And snore like a freight train." She quipped, quite sure that they'd be better off if he slept at his place.
"You forget to quickly, I'm used to city noises at night. I find it comforting."
They didn't say anymore after that. They stayed in the water until it cooled and the wrinkles on her fingers and toes had gone to make way for the goose bumps that covered her arms and legs.
Once he helped her out, and wrapped a fluffy towel around her shoulders, he made good on his promise to help apply her couch rub, really thorough about covering her chest...
And though she was right, and he didn't sleep much at all, she wouldn't have slept without him.
When Andy brings her head above water again her cell phone is still ringing. It's been a while since she slipped under the surface.
The shrill ring of her cell phone ceases before she can even stand, and then her home phone starts ringing from her living room. She doesn't bother to dry herself with the towel before stepping off of the bath mat, and slides her way to the phone.
"Hello," She says, knowing already that something was definitely wrong.
"Andy, it's me, I have some news." Claire starts, relieved that Andy finally answered her phone, and terrified of what she had to tell her. "Jenny Matthews was in a car accident baby."
"Oh my God." Andy gasps into the phone, hand flying to her mouth, ready for the worst. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
" They don't think she's going to make it." And there it is. Tears sting Andy's eyes, and she doesn't have the power to try keeping them at bay, she just doesn't care.
Jennifer Grace Matthews. Andy's childhood mischief making friend. They met in the third grade. Both sat in the back of Mrs. Kelly's class. Andy traded her cookies for gushers one lunch hour and the rest was history, they were attached at the hip. Since Jenny's mom had died when she was young, they figured the harder years out together. They were one another's crutch.
By the time they hit high school they had drifted a little, but remained friends. Jenny went to University in Calgary, and the distance affected their friendship.
By the time she came back to Toronto, pregnant, Andy had started her life at fifteen.
They both let their friendship die, in expectance that they could revive it when they had more time. But time had run out. That was it, and she would soon be gone. Andy only met Charlotte once.
"Mom, was Charlotte in the car?"
"No, thank God." Claire responds quickly, easing Andy's spiraling mind. "She's with a foster family right now-"
"A foster family?" Andy asks, surprised, and upset by it. Made sense though, why Claire knew, how Claire knew...
"Jenny's lawyer is here sweetie, I'm calling because there are some things that need to be discussed. And I know you'd like to say goodbye."
The tears rolling down Andy's cheeks were nearly uncontrollable now. She felt the world shift from beneath her.
Fine, she's a cop, she has to deal with the fact that her friends are in constant danger, but not Jenny.
Andy's not sure how she wrapped up the conversation with Claire, she doesn't remember calling for a cab. But next thing she knew, her phone was ringing again, letting her know the cab was outside, and she was walking, barely, down to catch it.
"Me?" Andy asks, barely conscious of the fact that she'd let that slip.
"Yes. Jenny felt very strongly that you be named her guardian should anything happen to her." Mr. Parker announced from his seat in Jenny's room. "I advised her to choose someone with children, but she was insistent."
Andy felt her heart swell a little, before remembering that she was also a part of the reason they let their relationship fall through the cracks. Andy was still gripping Jenny's smaller hand in hers.
She looked at the best friend she no longer recognized. Bruises marred her face, and the stitched across her left cheek blocked the beautiful bone structure that was there. Machines around her, breathing for her.
Brain damage was what they'd said. If she did come out of it, she'd be vegetable.
"What about Charlotte's dad?"
Andy couldn't help but feel she wasn't the best person for Charlotte. She didn't know how to take care of a kid. She loved kids, yeah, but not for more than a few hours at a time, and their parents were around. How was she supposed to be a parent?
"Ms. Matthews wasn't even sure of who it was. She didn't seem concerned that he would pop up out of nowhere and claim parental rights."
A kid. She was supposed to raise Jenny's two year old, barely two years old. How would she explain that her mommy is gone and can't come back? No kid is ever old enough to hear that.
"And her dad?"
"He's in a home now Ms. McNally. His Alzheimer's has progressed quickly, Ms. Matthews didn't have much of a choice. He can't care for a toddler." Mr. Parker had sympathetic eyes, which Andy found comforting. He was merely answering her questions, not overloading her with nonsensical information that was lawyer speak. "Ms. McNally, you by no means have to claim guardianship. She's quite young, and you may do well finding a good home for her-"
"I need a minute." She cuts him off. She knew she didn't have to raise Charlotte. And while she wasn't confident that she'd be mother of the year, she was also certain that Jenny appointed her for a reason.
She wasn't going to be hasty and dismiss that.
Then again, she only had this will done after Charlotte was born... that's what Mr. Parker said. She was engaged back then. Jenny was spending time in Temagami. They'd spoken on the phone once the entire time she was engaged, and Jenny had just had Charlotte.
She called her again when she and Luke called it off, so she could've changed it...
Temagami. After everything with the Brennan debacle, and all that time off that was when she got her chance to meet Charlotte. She was almost one. She was a little angel.
Her god daughter.
Mr. Parker had long since left the room when Andy began asking Jenny's still body why she would choose her. Over all her friends from work, the moms she knew from Charlotte's daycare... why Andy?
But then again, Jenny didn't have a guiding light when it came to motherhood, and still she was great. Jenny didn't have a mother to tell her about her period, and have her first sex talk. Jenny and Andy had figured it all out together.
Andy and Jenny guided each other.
"You really have a sense of humour Jen." Andy whispered, stroking her friends knuckles. "Me, a mom. Charlotte will go to her first day of school without a lunch and her t-shirt on inside out."
It happened to her once. In the seventh grade, right after Claire left. Tommy had already left for work, which was normal, but Andy was in such a rush...
"And when she gets her period I'll tell her she ate too many red fruit rollups." Andy thought she truly was losing it. But then again, that's what Jenny told Andy when Andy called her up, sobbing that she was dying. "She'll think a stork brought her..."
The laughter was turning back to tears.
"No, she'll know everything about you Jen, I promise. I'll show her movies, and photos, and I'll tell her that you loved her more than anything on the planet." Andy took a deep breath to slow the tears, before saying so seriously, "I'll protect her. I swear to God, I'll protect her Jen."