I've been listening to The Script on repeat and I came up with this.
Warning: Contains Character Death.
This is it; this is how she is going to die. She takes a steadying breath and slumps to the floor, letting the tension and the fear that has filled her for the past two hours dissipate from within. She starts to fiddle with the gold watch that sits on her wrist. She isn't usually one for watches or jewellery at all but this watch is special to her. A man had given it to her, and this man had been very…special to her.
She puts her hands to her eyes and rubs them. She is surprised that she isn't more scared, she had been terrified the last time she thought she was going to die – but maybe that was due to the fact that it wasn't just her life at stake, there was his too. She remembers that day with a clarity that not many of her other memories hold, and sometimes she wishes that she doesn't.
She checks the time on her watch; she's been here for another fifteen minutes. She closes her eyes and the image of him floats in to her vision. Not him, she begs, please don't. She shakes her head and the image floats away, and is replaced by another image. This image is of another man, and she can hear his Scottish tones in her head as she studies his face in her mind's eye. She likes this man, she likes him a lot and he loves her. At first she was with him because it was fun, but then it became much more. She tried to pretend that she loved him and that she was moving on from him, but in reality she just used it as a distraction. She feels sorry for leading him on but she is content with the situation as it is, she never has to think about him. She isn't happy, he makes her happy in ways Jonny can't.
She tries to convince herself that she can love both of them, but she knows the truth. There will only ever be one man for her, but he is gone and she has to accept it. It's been so many years and she might have finally accepted that he is never coming back. She is not happy about it but life must go on.
She slides her hand into her pocket and removes a lump of plastic and metal, it is her phone. She turns it on and finds a number. His number is the only number she transferred from her old phone to this new one. In the time she has had this phone she has never called or texted him. Well, there's a first time for everything. She presses the call button and listens to the rings. After six rings, she knows he's not coming. He never answers a phone after six rings if he's missed it, she knows.
It goes to answerphone like she expects. She screws up her eyes to stop the tears that start to fall at the sound of his voice. His voice, that she hasn't heard for so many years. She is amazed that she can still remember how his voice sounds. He tells her, he can't make it to the phone at the moment but to leave a message. That she does. Her voice is weak and croaky but she manages to leave an understandable message. She smiles.
She finds Jonny's number next. He doesn't answer the phone and she knows he won't as well, but not because of her unique understanding of his character and quirks, it's just that he's at work and you have to turn your phone of at work. She leaves a message for him too.
By now she can hardly breathe. Her breaths are ragged and short. She can see orange flames licking up the corridor. She smiles, she is happy. She knows that she shouldn't be happy that she is going to die, but she is happy because she has experienced love during her life and that is amazing in itself. She had never been loved before he turned up. She tried to stop herself from falling in love but it was her destiny. She was destined to fall in love with him, just like she was destined not to have her happy ending.
She is finally at peace with herself.
Michael finds her, curled up in foetal position, five minutes later. He is a doctor so he knows it doesn't look good for survival. He knows the figures; it's more likely she is going to die. He knew her, he knew her better than most of her colleagues. He knows about her past, all of it. He chokes back tears, for her sake and his.
He drags her out. He lies her down on the cold pavement as the ambulance crew flood towards him. He leans down to see her one more time before she is gone forever and to his surprise her eyes flick open. She is still hanging on, she always was a fighter. She tries to speak to him so he leans his ear to her mouth. "Jos-" She starts choking before she can finish. "Tell Joseph-" She breaks off for another coughing fit. "That I love him." With that her eyes flutter closed and her head lulls backwards. Michael brings his head away from her lips and rocks back and forth on his haunches, his face set in a determined expression. His soot stained face is streaked with tears. She is dead. The paramedics take her limp body away.
He finds out Joseph's number from Elliot. He tells Michael to stop and go home. Michael had just witnessed his colleague and friends death. Michael tells him to give him the number, this is her last wish.
The phone rings for four rings before he picks up. "Hello, Joseph Byrne, here. What can I do for you?" He sounds so happy and Michael nearly hangs up, he can't shatter his world. This is her last wish, I have to tell him, Michael thinks.
"Joseph, its Michael; from Holby." Michael tells him, his voice quiet and solemn. His American accent is less pronounced when he is quiet.
"Oh, Michael Spence?" Joseph askes, his tone still jovial. Michael nods then remembers he is talking over the phone.
"Yes." His tone is bland and he is still quiet.
"What can I do for you?" Joseph asks, a hint of confusion seeping into his voice.
"Please, brace yourself. You're not gonna like what I'm going to tell you." Michael warns him. Michael takes a deep breath. "Jac is dead." He hears Joseph take a deep breath on the other side of the line.
"Tell me again." Joseph's voice is low and Michael can hear the pain in his tone.
"Jac is dead." Michael tells him. Saying it out loud helps Michael accept the fact himself. "It was a fire, at the hospital she was trapped. I found her. She wanted me to tell you that…" He pauses, letting Joseph absorb the information. "She loves you." He hears Joseph laugh on the other side of the line.
"Twelve years since I last heard her tell me that, twelve years since I last saw her. Feels like yesterday." Michael can hear the wistfulness in his tone. "Thank you." Joseph ends the call. Michael lowers the phone away from his ear.
She will never be forgotten by any of her colleagues.
She will never be forgotten by any of the patients she treated.
She will never be forgotten by Jonny.
She will never be forgotten by Michael.
She will never be forgotten by Joseph.
She will never be forgotten.
Hope you enjoyed my story.