Goodnight, My Angel

Anakin comforts his new wife, who fears losing her husband to the hands of the Jedi.

Author's Note: It's good to be back. ;) Not that I was ever gone, of course, just...uninspired. I won't get into the harrowing details of my writer's block; suffice it to say that it was bad. Very bad.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, planets, or situations represented here and I most likely never will. They're George's toys. The lullaby featured in the story is the Billy Joel song "Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel)" which seemed from the first moment to be a perfect Anakin/Padme song. I modified a word or two to make it fit right, but everything else belongs to him.

~~

The night breezes blew softly through the open balcony door, billowing the curtains and making Padme shiver in her sleep. Anakin wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He had been right, he reflected as he held her, tracing his hand lightly over her shoulder. Everything on Naboo was indeed soft and smooth.

She stirred in his embrace and looked up at him with suddenly fearful eyes. "Ani...what are we going to do in the morning?"

"Oh, I thought we'd sail out to one of those little islands you're always talking about, and we could swim--"

"That isn't what I meant," she interrupted worriedly.

Anakin frowned. "What's wrong, Padme?"

"The Council expects you back in a few days. What then? What happens when we can no longer live our lie? Will they expel you? Send you off to a terrible mining colony on - on Kessel or someplace--"

"Padme, not even the spice mines of Kessel could keep me away from you."

"But what if they make you choose? What if they arrest you?"

"Shh, love. I think I know what you're trying to say. You're afraid we'll lose each other, that after I go back to Coruscant they'll never let me see you again. But I swear to you, Padme, they'll never make me stop loving you. Never, understand? No matter what happens, or how bad things get, it will all come out right in the end. Even if that end is a long time coming...everything will be all right." He reached out to stroke her cheek, only to find that she was crying. "Oh, Padme..."

"I can't bear the thought of being without you," she whispered.

He held her more tightly and kissed her. "But you're with me now. Save your questions for another day," he said gently, and the words reminded of a lullaby his mother used to sing to him, years ago. She'd called him her angel, and now he had an angel of his own. With a bittersweet smile, he began to sing softly.

"Goodnight, my angel

Time to close your eyes

And save these questions for another day.

I think I know what you've been asking me

I think you know what I've been trying to say.

I promised I would never leave you

And you should always know,

Wherever you may go,

No matter where you are,

I never will be far away."

She was beginning to relax in his arms; she drowsed as he sang. She nestled against him, loving the soft sound of his voice. He went on with the second verse, the one that had always been his favorite; he used to love imagining the oceans on other worlds, their "emerald bays" and the dark water. None of the oceans he'd ever seen since could rival the gentle rocking of the song.

"Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to sleep

And still so many things I want to say.

Remember all the songs you sang for me

When we went sailing on an emerald bay.

And like a boat out on the ocean

I'm rocking you to sleep.

The water's dark

And deep inside this ancient heart

You'll always be a part of me."

Now she was asleep, her head pillowed lightly against his chest and her hair spread with unconscious grace across the pillow. There was really no need to finish the song, but he did so anyway, dropping into a half-dream even before he'd finished.

"Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful our life will be.

Someday our child may cry

And if you sing this lullaby

Then in your heart

There will always be a part of me.

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabyes go on and on

They never die; that's how you

And I

Will be..."

~~

Padme would never forget the sound of his voice that night, nor the feel of his skin: warm and gentle, light as the breeze off the ocean.

But that was the man he had been. The man he had become (could you even call him a man anymore?) was not her Ani. He was a man made of darkness, of cold metal and harsh, grating voice.

Not her Ani.

He cloaked himself, shrouded himself with evil and mystery and murder. Oh, yes, murder -- a thousand times over, cold murder, cruel murder, wanton murder.

Not her Ani.

Yet something of him had to remain, some vestige of her Ani that Palpatine hadn't destroyed, couldn't destroy. Anakin had promised he would never leave her, that they would never make him stop loving her...so there had to be something to be done. She told herself, as she'd told herself every day for the past two years, that there was a way to bring him back.

Wasn't there?

Across the moonlit Alderaanian suite, a thin wail issued up out of the crib. Leia, she identified immediately. Because Luke's cry is shorter and louder. Because he never wakes up at night. Because--

Because he wasn't there. Her heart broke again at the memory of Obi-Wan, cradling her infant son in his arms and swearing to look after him. "I will let no harm come to him," he'd said. She knew he'd die himself before he'd let anyone hurt Luke.

But seeing the single crib made her want to weep again. She pulled a chair up to the crib and lifted Leia gently into her arms. "There," she whispered soothingly. "I'm here; it's all right, my little Leia." But Leia's wailing only paused for a moment before beginning again.

"It's Luke, isn't it?" Padme whispered achingly. "You miss your brother. Oh, I miss him too, little one, but don't worry; we'll find him again. When this is all over, when Anakin comes back and Palpatine is overthrown, Obi-Wan will bring Luke back to us...and life will be wonderful again."

Then, without even knowing it, she began to sing, and to rock Leia in her arms.

"Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful your life will be

Someday your child may cry

And if you sing this lullaby

Then in your heart

There will always be a part of me.

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabyes go on and on...

They never die; that's how you

And I

Will be."

Her voice broke, and she wept. Wept for the present, for the future, for two little children torn asunder, for the cruel dark man who and done this to all of them.

Not her Ani at all.