Welcome To My World
It was a Friday evening and the Pearson Specter Offices were quiet; because other people had lives outside of this place Donna thought to herself. Since Harvey had been seeing Scotty he'd been leaving earlier than normal so why was he still here at gone ten, on a Friday night of all nights? Not that Donna had anywhere better to be; she'd just got used to leaving earlier recently.
She looked into Harvey's office through the glass walls. He was sat on the couch looking out of the window at the city with a glass of scotch in his hand. He'd put some music on and the file he was reading twenty minutes ago was now abandoned on the coffee table. Donna could tell something was wrong with him and she couldn't help him if she didn't know what it was.
Donna got up from behind her desk and walked into Harvey's office. He heard her come in, turned his attention to her and smiled. He poured her a glass of scotch and handed it to her as she took a seat in the arm chair next to him. "What's wrong Harvey?" Donna asked carefully. He remained silent for a moment and then said "you're too good at that 'all knowing' thing you do, you know". Donna bowed her head theatrically in thanks and Harvey huffed out a little laugh.
"Come on, what's on your mind" Donna asked again. Harvey let out a sigh and rested his head on the back of the couch before saying "Scottie and I are over". "Oh" Donna said and then added "did you even give her a chance?" Harvey looked at Donna and said "I didn't end it; she did." Donna couldn't believe that and asked "really?" Harvey nodded and returned his head to its resting spot on the back of the couch.
"Why?" Donna asked. Harvey didn't answer. Donna didn't want to push him too far but she wanted to help him with whatever it was he was struggling with. "Harvey, why?" she asked again. Harvey let out an even bigger sigh and said "because I couldn't give her what she wanted". Donna considered this and said "but you did commit to her. You told her how you felt." Harvey nodded and said "but she wanted more." "More how? Like marriage or kids? It's a bit soon for that" Donna said, knowing that Scottie would know better than to push Harvey for that kind of thing so early in their relationship. "No nothing like that" Harvey said. "So, what then?" Donna asked, genuinely baffled as to what Scottie could have wanted from him.
Harvey didn't reply but she could read his face like a book; he was in turmoil over something. Whatever Scottie wanted was big, big enough to split them up. They both sipped their drinks in silence. Harvey poured more of the amber liquid into their glasses. Donna took this as a sign that he wanted her to stay with him; even if he wouldn't tell her what was wrong. She knew Harvey better than anyone so she knew that he needed her to push him gently into telling her what was on his mind. Harvey Specter didn't volunteer information; it had to be carefully coaxed from him. So she asked again "Harvey, what did she ask you to do?"
Harvey knew he had to tell Donna the truth. She'd find out somehow. But it wasn't going to be easy, especially as he hadn't got it all straight in his head yet. He let out another sigh and said "she asked me to choose" and then added "her or you". He turned his head to look at Donna. For the first time in a long time, she was lost for words and just stared at him.
Harvey continued "she was jealous of you; of us. She didn't like how well you know me; how close we are". Donna found her voice and said "but that's ridiculous". Harvey nodded his head and said "I know. But she was adamant I couldn't have you both. So I chose you".
Donna couldn't help the smile spreading across her face. "You find this amusing?" Harvey asked raising an eyebrow at Donna. "No, no, it's just… Welcome to my world Harvey!" Donna said raising her arms and shrugging.
Harvey shot her a questioning look; they didn't always need words to communicate. Donna saw the question in his eyes and answered "how many great guys have I ended things with because of you? Because I prioritised work; prioritised you. They made me choose; them or you".
"You always chose me. I'm sorry Donna" Harvey said simply, shifting in his seat and staring at the floor between his knees. Realising how much Donna had given up for him over the years. "You don't have to be sorry. It was no contest" Donna said matter-of-factly. Harvey thought about this for a second and said "I know right? She knew I'd choose you." "I'm sorry you broke up" Donna said, sensing he was still dealing with it. Harvey shrugged and said "it wasn't meant to be. I wasn't in it 100%. I just felt like I owed it to her to give it a chance but I knew I couldn't trust her fully."
Donna was touched at Harvey's honesty and display of loyalty to her. She felt like they'd never been closer. They were an unbreakable team she thought to herself. She looked at him; his face told her that he was still struggling with something. "You ok?" Donna asked. Harvey looked at her; at his best friend. He desperately wanted to avoid what he had to tell her next in case it ruined everything, but he had to tell her so that he could figure it out and move on.
Harvey broke the silence and said "that's not all she had to say". Donna looked at him questioningly. Harvey continued "Scottie thinks that the only woman I'll ever be happy with is you." Donna was stunned into silence for the second time that evening; which was lucky for Harvey as he had one more thing to tell her, so he took a deep breath and said "I think she might be right".
Donna sat in silence taking in the last few lines from Harvey's mouth. She must have stayed silent a bit too long as Harvey looked at her and said "Donna, say something?" "Sorry… Harvey… it's just… that's a lot of information to process" she said looking at him. "I know" Harvey said looking at the floor.
"Are you saying you want to be with me?" Donna asked. "I don't know. I just think she has a point" Harvey managed to get out. "So romantic!" Donna quipped. Harvey smiled at her and she smiled back. "Look, Donna, recently I've come to realise that I do want to be with someone. But I've also realised that what we have makes that very difficult; for both of us" Harvey said. "So you think, we should kill two birds with one stone and be together? Again, so romantic Harvey!" Donna said and smiled and he smiled back.
Harvey thought for a moment and said "I don't know what I'm saying. I'm still trying to figure it out. I know that when we were at the DA's office we could have gone down a different route and I've always wondered what that would have been like." "You have?" Donna asked, surprised by his confession. "Sure. Are you saying you've never thought about it?" Harvey asked. "I used to. A lot. But that was a long time ago" Donna said.
Harvey sensed something in her eyes that she wasn't telling him. He shot her that questioning look again and Donna knew what he was asking her so she confessed "after you spent the night at my apartment you asked to see me and told me you didn't want to lose me. I thought you were telling me that you wanted us to be together" Harvey finished her sentence for her by saying "but I asked you to come work for me instead." "Yeah" Donna said feeling slightly embarrassed and then finished "so I spent quite a bit of time burying those feelings."
Donna shifted in her seat, uncomfortable at the turn this conversation had taken. Harvey wasn't done with this line of questioning though "so where are those feelings now? Are they still buried or are they gone?" Donna remained silent as she considered his question. She realised that she genuinely didn't know the answer. Harvey looked at her pushing for an answer. "Harvey I… I honestly don't know. They've been buried so long I think I've convinced myself they've gone" Donna said. "But they might still be there?" Harvey asked hopefully. "Yeah, I guess so" Donna replied and then corrected herself "no, I know so". Harvey smiled at her.
Harvey felt like it was his turn to confess "I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little jealous every time you started seeing someone. Dates were fine, but I didn't like it when you started having feelings for someone. I never really thought about why that was. I just assumed it was because I didn't like sharing you. But now I realise it probably ran a little deeper than that." Harvey refilled their glasses to avoid looking at Donna, they were no longer sober but he still felt like he needed another drink.
"Jesus Harvey, what are we doing? We shouldn't be having this conversation. We've left this alone for over a decade and it's worked just fine" Donna said taking her refilled glass. "Has it?" Harvey asked raising an eyebrow at her. He had a point Donna thought and nodded in recognition of that fact.
"You think that just because you've decided that you want a girlfriend, I should jump at the chance?" Donna quipped, sitting back in her chair. "Well I was voted one of New York's most eligible bachelors. I'm a catch" Harvey deadpanned. Donna almost spat out her drink as she laughed at this. "What? It's true!" Harvey protested and then continued "see, that's why we should be together!"
"OK, hotshot. Firstly, I see you differently than other people do – I see through your bullshit, I'm not scared of you and I see us as equals. Secondly, you really think we should be together?" Donna said. Harvey smiled and replied "OK smartass, firstly, that's what I meant – I like how you treat me differently, how you see us as equals. And secondly, the more I think about it, the more I think we'd be great together."
"You're drunk" Donna said. "No I'm not" Harvey countered. "You've had over ten years to say all this to me and you're choosing to do it now… full of scotch" Donna pointed out. Harvey pouted and said "the fact that I'm full of scotch is irrelevant. As for the ten years thing; I'm sorry. I didn't want a relationship for a long time. But now that I do I realise I'm an idiot. Someone had to point it out to me for me to see what was right in front of me the whole time."
"You've changed your tune; 3 glasses of scotch later" Donna said smirking and then added "you didn't know how you felt to begin with tonight and now you think we should be together". "It's not the drink talking. All its doing is making me be more honest" Harvey shrugged. "Hmmm, well you certainly seem more attractive the more I drink" Donna joked. Harvey laughed and then they caught each other's eye; their smiles fading and their expressions turning serious. Ok, it might have been aided by the scotch but right there in that moment, the spark was back. The spark from over a decade ago when they first hooked up; it was back; and they both felt it.
Neither of them spoke, Donna was the first to look away. "It's still there" Harvey said never looking away from Donna. She smiled in acknowledgement. "What are you scared of Donna" Harvey asked reading her mind. "That we'll do this and you'll realise it isn't what you want and I'll get hurt. We won't be able to work together so I'll lose my job and my best friend. My entire life will be ripped apart. Quite a lot of things really" she said.
Harvey processed what she said. When she put it like that there was a lot at stake he realised. How could he ask this amazing woman to risk it all for him? But they should try shouldn't they? "You're right. There's a lot at stake. But I can't help but think we're meant to be together" Harvey said shocking Donna with his honesty.
"Harvey, I know you love me and you need me in your life because I feel the same about you but are you sure?" Donna asked. "Donna, you felt that connection a few minutes ago. The spark's still there and we both know how amazing we were together" Harvey said smirking. Donna smirked back at the thought of the night they spent together all those years ago. He was right; it was amazing.
Harvey leaned forward so that their faces were only feet apart "you're an amazing woman Donna. You're beautiful, smart, funny and most of all you don't put up with my bullshit. You see straight through it. You see me." Donna smiled, he was right; she was all those things and she got him like no one else did; because he let her. That was it, she thought. The eureka moment she'd been waiting for. She was the only person that Harvey allowed in through the walls he'd built up over the years because he trusted her completely, and that's why no one could touch them. They should be together, they were meant to be together she thought to herself.
"Donna, say something" Harvey's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "I think you're right. I think maybe we are meant to be together. We just need to be brave enough to go for it" she said. "Really?" Harvey said, hardly believing that he'd convinced her. He knew he was the best closer around but this was Donna Paulsen he was dealing with. Donna nodded and smiled. She looked so beautiful Harvey thought. Why had he been such an idiot for so long and not seen or realised all of this earlier?
"Let's get out of here" Harvey said putting his glass down and standing up. He held his hand out for Donna and she got to her feet. As they stood inches apart they stared into each other's eyes. Neither of them wanted to start anything here in the office but neither of them could fight the urge inside them. Harvey put his arm around her waist and pulled her in for a long passionate kiss. As she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck his free hand came up to her face.
When their lips finally parted Harvey said "oh it's definitely still there!" and smiled. Donna smiled back and kissed him again. Harvey could feel Donna's fingers undoing his tie and then the buttons of his shirt. "You wanna do this…here?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "Why not? Scared?" she teased. "A little, what if someone sees us?" Harvey confessed looking through the glass walls of his office. "Oh please, it's almost midnight on a Friday night. There's no one here; they've all got lives" Donna said. "You seem pretty sure" Harvey said. "I know these things. I'm Donna" she said pulling off his shirt. "I can't argue with that" Harvey said and smiled, unzipping her dress and pulling her down onto the couch.
Hope you enjoyed this! I'd really appreciate any feedback and reviews. Thanks for reading!