Ice Fishin' On Christmas Eve
Note: A Larry-The-Cable-Guy fan-fiction in which Larry and the guys go out to catch some fish for Christmas dinner the following day and they start to talk about their families and they all start to get a bit touched by remembering the true spirit of the holiday season.
Chapter 1—Boys' Night Out
Larry, Bill, Jeff and Ron had met at Larry's home to load up their fishing gear and layer up to head to the lake for some good ol' ice fishing. Once every year around this time when they were finished touring on their Christmas comedy extravaganzas, they gathered (usually at Larry's house, because his wife Cara was such a tremendous cook), wherever was the most convenient and set out for a boy's night out (with their wife's permission).
No sooner had the guy's arrived at Cara's house that she reminded them, particularly Larry, not to be home later than midnight.
"Oh, hon, you know you don't have to worry about me n' the boys. We'll be fine !", Larry reassured her, kissing her, then Wyatt and his newborn daughter.
"I know you will. I'll have some refreshments here when you return.", she said, before Larry hugged her from the side and kissed her, this time on the cheek before heading out the door.
After loading up the truck, the four men gathered into the truck, huddling together to keep warm before Larry turned on the ignition.
"You know, in any other circumstances, if my buddies saw me like this back home they'd start asking some really awkward questions…", Bill said, nudging Ron, who was getting irritated with his constant nudging.
"Would you stop nudging me ? It's annoying !", Ron stated abruptly, trying not to become upset.
"You better not fight in my truck. If you do, I might just leave the both of you right here.", Larry said, sounding serious for a moment. The two men eyed each other, looking shocked.
"Shoot, you know I wouldn't do that, even if you irritated the hell outta me.", Larry said, chortling.
"True that !", Jeff agreed. With that, Larry slammed his foot on the gas, and they sped through the darkened woods like they weren't an impediment whatsoever.
Chapter 2—At the Lake
Once the four had unloaded the truck with all of their equipment, they set up their lamps next to their favorite spot. Down about 2 or 3 miles, there were some more guys that had the same idea and were already fishing, catching quite a few fish.
"Man, this is our spot ! I wish they'd move, and stop scarin' the rest of the fish away !", Bill said, kicking at a rock in the snow.
"This spot doesn't really belong to us !", Jeff stated, in a hushed tone, with some irritation.
"But, we've been here much longer than they have. This is ours !", Ron agreed.
"You too, Ron ? Look, fellas. We can't bicker about this spot. It belongs to everyone. It's Christmas Eve. Have some spirit, will ya ?", Larry said. Larry friends who were about to ask the other men to leave their spot a couple miles up river, had stopped in mid-step and turned around.
"Oh, dang it, Larry. I hate it when you get all mushy on us.", Bill said, pouting slightly.
"You know he's right though.", Jeff muttered.
"Kiss ass.", Ron said in cough form. Larry simply rolled his eyes and picked a hole through the ice, baited his hook and began waiting for the fish to bite. The other guys, seeing that fighting wasn't getting them anywhere, followed suit.
Chapter 3—Patience
As the guys sat waiting for the fish to bite in the cold, in order to keep warm, they decided to reminisce about the fun they had experienced during their tours.
"You know, inasmuch as I enjoyed going on those tours, I really missed being home with my wife and kids.", Jeff mentioned. Even Bill and Ron agreed and started mentioning their families too, and realized that even though they enjoyed a bit of male bonding, they were nothing without their families.
"Well, what about you, Lar ? You haven't said much about Cara or Wyatt. Somethin' not workin' with you guys ?", Bill asked, curiously.
"The rest of you'uns was talkin'. I didn't have no chance to talk.", Larry said, laughing heartily. He then got a yank on his line, and began to reel it in. However, it seemed the more he pulled, the more slack the wire gave him.
"Holy shoot ! This is a big 'un !", he exclaimed.
"Finally, after all flippin' night…Larry always catches the big fish. Why, oh Lord, can't it ever be me !", Ron complained, not helping his friend one bit.
"Quit your belly-achin' an' help me !", Larry pleaded. With that, Ron ceased his moaning and helped Larry, but it didn't only take him to pull but Bill and Jeff.
After 40 to 60 consecutive minutes of constant pulling and reeling, the four of them together caught their prize fish. It was the mother of all bass.
"It would be a shame just to let 'er go, ya know what I'm sayin ?", Larry said, looking at the poor pathetic fish he had just hooked. The huge bass had put up a tremendous fight and had been difficult to catch, but it would be enough to feed them all for dinner. And looking at his watch, they were about to be late, so there was no time to lose.
Chapter 4—A Little Late, but Unharmed
It hadn't been one bass that they had caught, but Ron had caught some more, smaller fish before they left. He had begged the boys to stick around a little longer and perhaps their "harvest" would be more substantial. He was right, as usual, but the four men were wretchedly late. Not wanting to waste any more time and seeing the time was ticking away every minute, Larry grabbed Ron by the collar and hoped the others would follow suit. Fortunately, they did, trunk full of stinky bass and pike.
"It's great to see y'all again…Phew, you guys REEK !", Cara said, screwing up her face in disgust. After Larry had kissed her and she had turned away, he rolled his eyes.
"Hello to you too, darlin'.", Larry said, kissing her again playfully. The other guys laughed, realizing they smelled just as bad as their friend did, but at least they all smelled horribly together. Fortunately, the smell of gingerbread, snickerdoodles and sugar cookies took away the fishy smell in the den before long.
Epilogue
As the guys laughed and joked in front of the TV with their beer after preparing the Christmas dinner for tomorrow, they had soon fallen asleep. Larry's babies were asleep, but he had awakened during the middle of the night. Some of the guys covers had fallen off and he covered them back up, went to check on Cara and the babies before going back to sleep. He smiled to himself.
"You know, despite all the bickering we do sometimes, I couldn't ask for a better set of friends. I only hope that I can spend many more crazy Christmases with them…", he thought to himself before going to bed. Just then, he heard the lonely and eerie howl of a pack of wolves as well as the hoot of a great horned owl. Not bothered by the noise, Larry returned to bed and snuggled next to Cara before drifting off to sleep.
Christmas day came with plenty of music from the CD player, and strangely enough, Cara had played Larry's CD first of all. All of them had scrambled to the table to eat, and the babies had already been fed, crawling into the den to the Christmas tree to open presents.
"Oh, no you don't you little rugrats ! We wait to open our presents.", Larry said, picking them both up and bouncing them. The infants cooed happily as they were bounced in Larry's arms. They too, were fed at the table, but not with the fish that Ron and the boys had caught.
As per tradition, everyone around the table spoke about what they were most grateful for during the holiday season and their wishes for the years to come. Cara, of course, mentioned she was thankful for her children and especially for Larry, and hoped for bright days in the future for the children. Ron, mentioned family, and then selfishly focused the whole thing on the "catch of the night" and that he wished for even better days and more fun-filled memories for the year to come. He wished for "repeat offenses" in future fishing trips. The others, simply laughed, but thanked him for his "humble contribution". Jeff admitted he was grateful for his friends and most especially the Blue Collar Comedy Tour as well as Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader ?. Jeff wished that the show would continue its strong run in spite of the writer's strike. Bill also mentioned the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, as well as his own television show and wished a similar wish to Jeff.
"What about you, Larry ? W hat are you grateful for this year ?", Jeff asked inquisitively.
"That's quite a loaded question, guys. All of you had excellent answers and I'm not really sure how to answer…Dang, y'all made it hard !", Larry stated honestly. Larry pondered the question for a moment and discovered his answer.
"I am grateful I have you 3 guys with me, as well as the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Fame has been a crazy, kooky ride for all of us, but I hope it never stops. I'm lovin' the rollercoaster ride, lemme tell ya. Also, of course, Cara, I can't forget you ! An' our son and daughter, too. I only hope that this coming year, we continue to be as popular as we have been. But even if we lose our popularity and the next big thing comes along, I know none of you will ever leave me, and that's the most important thing.", Larry said, jovially.
"Oh, hell ! Now you've got me cryin'…", Ron said, a bit frustrated he had gotten touched by Larry's words. Larry patted him on the shoulder, as did Bill.
"No shame in showin' emotions, Ron.", Bill said, warmly. There was a brief pause, but only momentarily.
"I'll drink to that ! Here's to friendship, family and good times !", Jeff announced cordially, in a merry tone.
With that, after Ron dried his eyes, they all raised their glasses of beer (for Cara, it was a tall ice-cold glass of green tea), and toasted to the year they had shared together and the year that was ahead of them.
The End