Hm…guess I should put one of those disclaimers in, eh? Like anyone would actually think that the creators of South Park spend their time on fanfiction. Hah.
Oh well, DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park, or any of its characters (duh, because if I did, Kyle and Stan would be all over each other xD).
"Ah fuck," murmured a drowsy, teenaged Kyle as he remembered that today was Monday. Which meant he'd have to spend another long week with Cartman.
For as long as Kyle could remember, Cartman had always been the prime source of his suffering. Providing him an endless supply of anti-Semitic comments, such as the infamous "dirty Jew" remark. After a while, Kyle had learned to accept-or at the very least tolerate his so-called friend's hateful comments as nothing more than colorful banter. The comments, as much as they infuriated Kyle, were not half as frightening as the comments he knew were awaiting him today.
Over the weekend, Kyle had made the earth-shattering mistake of revealing his best kept secret-his deep love for his friend Stan. Of course Kyle knew it was absolutely pointless, a silly, deep-seeded childhood crush that had never been extinguished. It could never be, for his dearest friend was quite plainly head-over-heels for the boys' fellow classmate, Wendy. The two had been an item since sometime in the previous year, and everyone was convinced that it was a match made in heaven. So in Kyle's deep desperation, and momentary lapse of judgment, he'd told Cartman. Who, immediately after hearing this secret, started cackling madly and said boldly, "I always knew you were a faggot, dirty Jew."
Which is why Kyle knew today was going to drag on forever. As he prepared himself for what terrible agony await him, Kyle murmured repeatedly, 'Jesus Christ, how could I have been so stupid?!?' all the while praying that somehow the mass of fat, known as Cartman, had forgotten his confession.
After getting dressed and gathering his books, a frazzled Kyle headed outside and down the long stretch of road that lead him to the bus stop that he'd met his friends at so many times before.
"Hey dude," Stan mumbled, followed by the traditionally incoherent banter from Kenny.
"Hey guys, where's Cartman?" Inquired Kyle. The boys responded that they hadn't seen him all weekend, and had absolutely no idea if he would be joining them this morning.
All of the sudden, the three boys witnessed something that was rarely, if ever, seen. Their 'dear ole' pal' Cartman was sprinting along the road, his rolls of fat jiggling all the while.
"Guys!" he shouted as he reached the bus stop. 'Oh fucking fantastic, the fatass is going to blab…' thought a very anxious Kyle.
When Cartman finally managed the long journey down the street, he looked tired and worn-out, although still managing to give Kyle one of those, 'Hah. You're screwed' looks. "Guys, guys, you'll never guess-" lucky enough for Kyle, before Cartman was able to finish his sentence, the bus rolled up.
"Oh thank G-d…" mumbled Kyle, boarding the bus. The ride to school was filled mostly with awkward silence, and the sound of Kyle nervously clicking his teeth-one of his bad habits. As the busy pulled up to the parking lot of their high school, Kyle's fears intensified. His mind was racing, and the only coherent thought was, 'I've got to make it through this day alive.' Nothing else, at this point, mattered to the teen.
"Kyle, wait up!" shouted Stan from across the hall. The two shared the same first period, and had since their days at the elementary school where it all began. "…What do you think Cartman was going to tell us this morning?" he gave his friend a quizzical glance.
Kyle's face turned scarlet, and his eyes immediately averted their gaze. Suddenly looking at Stan had become something Kyle just couldn't handle. "I, um…. I-I have no idea, dude. Knowing Cartman, it was probably nothing we better get to class," Kyle said, desperate to change the subject.
Stan nodded, "Yeah…you're probably right…." And then raced off to get to class.
For Kyle, the day had been one scare after another, and being almost outed countless times, Kyle couldn't take another minute of it. Thankfully, at that moment, the bell made its familiar sound and everyone raced out the door, anxious to escape the hell known as high school. Normally, Kyle would've been among them, because although he always scored well on tests, and received the highest marks of his pals, school was typically the farthest thing from his mind. Today however, his unbeknownst gratitude was for a different reason. And as he neared his house, he realized that something had been stuffed in his pocket a little while ago. Kyle reached in a pulled out a small note, folded messily. "Obviously it's the work of that fatass…." Kyle uttered, unfolding it carefully.
"No fucking way…" Kyle bellowed, "that dick." He stared at the note for a brief moment before attempting to comprehend the chicken-scratch. This time he decided it best to read the note aloud, "Kyle- I thought I should let you know that, to spare you, I didn't tell Stan." Kyle breathed a small sigh of relief, 'thank G-d,' though Kyle. His eyes bugged out as he read the rest of the note, "-But that doesn't mean I'm not going to tell him, you stupid Jew. HAHA! I'm actually writing an entirely different note to Stan, which is probably being delivered to him as you read this. IT'S TOO LATE, JEW BOY." After that, the note went into a long boast about how Cartman had succeeded in ruining Kyle's life, among other things.
Kyle collapsed, unable to hold in his sorrow anymore, he crawled into a ball and just lay there in the cold December snow.
Good? Bad? Utter crap? You tell me. But please, remember, this is my first fanfiction in…G-d only knows how long, so please be kind.