Night was like a Godsend these days…
Things… life had changed and it was beyond her control because she had had to leave, she hadn't had a choice.
Now she was back, but she didn't know what she'd come back to.
He had someone new, someone else to fight and banter with and maybe love like he used to love her.
Before he'd changed at least.
That's what it had come down to really… the changes, the tumultuous nature that had shrouded their relationship like a spiders web and they were the flies.
The huge black poisonous spider was life; it was the inevitability of changing seasons.
Eventually she could accept that.
What she wasn't sure she could accept was the disjointed path they'd taken, where they'd lost each other somewhere under the piles of rapes and child abuse cases… heinous life events and situations and histories that broke your heart just a little more each time…
Until your heart lay shattered in a million tiny pieces, his shattered glass ocean-and-sky blue eyes scattered throughout her own broken dark chocolate brown gaze.
She wasn't sure if she could ever look him dead on and hold them there.
Over the past couple of years she realized she'd done it for far too long, letting him see the side of her that few other people ever saw but never being given that privilege to see him.
In her apartment, left just as it had been when she'd left, she had turned off every light and curled up on the floor in boxer shorts and a sports bra, her head laying on the cool hardwood floor.
Tears had pooled under the eye facing the floor.
Her heart pounded under the confines of her heaving rib cage.
No, she told herself, she did not love him, not like that at least… he was her best friend, the brother she fought with, the father she'd never had, and the only man to ever see her at her weakest moments.
Watching him through the blinds had sent flames reaching up from her belly and into her esophagus, searing as it traveled, licking the back of her throat.
Dani Beck was his new partner now.
She was a brief memory in his past only she hadn't left anything like his ex-wife had, no children and no reminder that she'd existed.
With this realization in place, anchored by her loneliness and the pain she seemed to carry from childhood, the pounding in her chest intensified, the heaves choking her, and her head throbbing with each one.
Somewhere inside she systematically began to shut down, her body and her mind succumbing to the heartbreak she just could not escape.
The last battle she surrendered to, the war she'd lost
And in that moment she gave in and gave up…
Review!
FYI: Perhaps it'd make what I've been through easier but I do not own SVU or the cast