I Still See Your Ghost
The sound of the phone ringing was an everyday occurrence in a normal afternoon. Actually, it usually rang at least once a day, when Ana wanted to know how her favorite daughters were doing – Fareeha had stopped a long time ago reminding her that she only had one, and adopting Angela wouldn't change that. At least once a week a call came from one hospital or another, or from great renowned doctors. They all had the same objective to take Angela out of retirement. Not once did the blond let them persuade her. Even less often it was Helix who was calling, trying to bring Fareeha back into the fight. It never worked. But on this particular afternoon of May, it was none of them.
Angela was the first to get to the phone, while passing through the living room with the empty laundry basket. Fareeha was outside, ready to take the dry laundry off the rack. She looked up at the clear sky, and the sun still way above her head. It would have been a perfect day to fly, she thought, with perfect visibility and not a single gust of wind. Down on the ground this lack of wind only made the air hotter, and Fareeha knew the rest of the afternoon would be infernal, as usual.
She frowned when Angela didn't come back almost instantly, always too happy to hand her wife the laundry basket so she could get back to her book. Fareeha walked back to the sliding windows leading inside, and passed her head through. The air was fresher inside, thanks to the air-conditioning.
"Angela?" she called out.
She heard no reply, only felt a surge of adrenaline passing through her body. It was stupid, really, only what was left of her training as a soldier, always worrying that something had gone wrong, that someone had found them. It was always a false alarm, but still her body could never understand that. Pushed along by her sudden anxiety Fareeha walked more inside, and she quickly noticed Angela's head sticking out from the couch. Fareeha quickly made her way to her side, standing next to the armrest, while Angela was on the phone. Even in the relative darkness inside she could see how livid her wife was, and visibly just about to cry. A weight sank in Fareeha's stomach.
"Yes, of course... I understand... See you then..." Angela replied with a shaky voice.
She hung up, and instantly her tears ran along her cheeks. Fareeha rushed to her side, and quickly sat down next to her wife, only to engulf her in a much needed hug. Angela only managed to explain the situation before dissolving in a mess of tears:
"It was McCree... Genji's dead..."
Fareeha held Angela almost all afternoon while the blond cried her heart out. Of course Fareeha had cried, too, but not for long. She would stay strong for as long as possible, because Angela needed her. Chores and a quiet afternoon was all but forgotten after that phone call. Angela cried until her body had exhausted all its water, and Fareeha only left her to fetch her a drink. Then she held her close once again, being the support her wife needed. And when Angela was too tired to do anything else, and she fell asleep in her wife's arms, Fareeha called Jesse.
Genji had passed away only a few hours ago, surrounded by Zenyatta and a few others of the omnic monks. Apparently he was taken by metal poisoning, because of all of his augmentations. He had been fighting against it for a while now, but didn't say a word to anyone. Not to Hanzo. Not even to Angela. He had retired in the Shambali monastery, and he had only waited until his time had come. Jesse told her his body would be disposed following the omnic monks teachings and believes.
The monks had two ways of honoring their dead. If the person was an omnic, they would wait three days and leave the body untouched, as three days was the required time for a soul to find its way to the Iris, before being reincarnated. Then, the omnic would be dismantled piece by piece by his fellow monks, and all his parts would be melted into a bloc, to be sent back into the world and help create, perhaps, a new omnic. The only piece kept in the monastery was the memory card, which was placed with the others in a secret location in the temple. If the person was a human, however, they honored them with cremation, and let the air dispersed their ashes, so the wind around the mountains could carry them far.
For Genji, the half-human half-machine man, it was agreed that they would follow both traditions.
While his body stayed untouched for the next three days after his passing, all his friends met in Gibraltar, and took the Orca to Nepal. The air in the plane was heavy, and no one dared to speak. Fareeha only held Angela close, and stared at the ground.
They arrived on the day of the celebration, and were welcome by Zenyatta himself, who invited them to the ceremony. Genji had been placed in a large room surrounded by candles and already all the monks were reunited around him, praying in front of his body. They prayed his soul found peace, and a new body. They prayed for his friends and family, for them to find peace in his parting. Hanzo and Jesse were there, too. They had flown there as swiftly as they had possibly can.
Angela thought her legs would gave out under her as she stepped into the room. It wasn't the overwhelming smell of incense or the darkness, but Genji. The lights usually shining on his body were gone, and it left his visor dark and empty. Seeing him so motionless, so dead to the world shook the blond to her core. Even after his battle against Hanzo he hadn't he been this lifeless. If not for Fareeha holding her, Angela knew she would have fallen to her knees.
Everyone prayed, or at least they tried, for an hour. To all of them it felt like an eternity. It seemed the praying would never stop, and when it did, it hadn't lasted long enough. Not a single word was pronounced during the entire ceremony, only the sound of omnics working carefully to take off all of Genji's robotic parts. They began with his visor, leaving his closed eyes to the air, for everyone to see how peaceful they were. They slowly took everything around Genji's face. His mask had been a collaborative work, Angela knew. She had tirelessly worked on every piece that was taken away from his body. Each parting fragment revealed more scars, more badly healed and discolored skin. It had been a long time since his cheeks and his mouth had seen the light of day. The helmet covering his head was now replaced by short black hair. When his peaceful face was set free, they began to take care of his body.
Taking his legs and arms off was the easiest part. While his left arm had been salvaged when they had saved him, Angela had to part it from him a few months before Overwatch had fallen. Medical problems had aroused, and his heart was weakening. But he had insisted. Rather a fake arm than a fake heart.
With each limb they took off, Angela felt her own heart tighten in her chest. She had worked for months on end to save his life, and yes, he had lived a few more years, more than anyone would have thought possible, but who would have wanted a life like his? Once his limbs were off he was only left the shell of a man, and the monks began to take that shell off, piece by piece.
Every bit of exposed skin made Angela feel more and more guilty as to what she had done to this poor man. Taking off his chest plate revealed countless scars, and just as many cables, running in and out of his body, and connected to the plate itself. Same for his back plate, which was even worst as it was connected to every single one of his vertebrae. But still the omnic monks didn't stop, and one piece at a time they undid what Angela had done.
Genji was left in the bare minimum, only the cables and pieces they couldn't take out, and a veil to protect his dead body from the snow, while they carried him outside. Everyone followed Genji to the large stack of wood the monks had prepared. They didn't even seem to notice the cold air around them, or the light flurry of snow. They all stood around the stack, and the monks placed Genji on top of it. Then came the time for offerings from his friends and family. Hanzo placed a small branch of cherry blossoms on his brother's chest. Zenyatta placed the only thing Genji ever owned at the monastery, an old wool blanket. Jack Morrison placed Genji's medal on top of everything. Angela had not found anything she could part with. She owned very few pictures of Genji during their time in Zürich, and most of them were for the files, or referential pictures. Only one she had kept, and would truly never part with. It was taken after Tracer received her authorization to become an official field agent, and while Genji's mouth was hidden, one could see in his eyes that he was smiling, and happy for his friend.
It was Zenyatta, who set fire to the pillar, after declaring:
"May your soul found a new place to be, as we return your former body to dust."
It took four hours for Genji's body to disappear completely, and Angela didn't move at all during those four hours. She stood there, staring into the fire, as her friend's shape became impossible to recognize in the harsh fire melting the falling snow. Fareeha didn't move either. She stood beside her wife, holding her and supporting her like she had done for the past four days. Everyone else had gone back to the Orca. The ashes would spread on their own, as the wind flew along the cliff-side.
It was Lena who came to fetch them. Neither of them would have moved without intervention, it seemed. Everyone was tired and ready to go home, to mourn their own way. Ever so slowly, Fareeha led Angela away. The last flicker of flames was still burning when Angela's eyes finally looked away, and she allowed herself to be carried off.
Returning home was painful. Angela truly felt her heart being torn in half by that simple thought. Never again would she see or hear Genji. She slept through most of their way back to Gibraltar. Sleeping made things even more confusing, because she felt guilty for falling asleep, even though it gave her a few hours of relief from her grief. It was waking up and remembering that he was gone that was painful. But the worst, the more painful, was that feeling of failure she felt deep within herself. She had saved his life, she could have done it again. If only he had told her...
They had decided to organize a small mourning dinner in Gibraltar, in Genji's honor, but really Angela didn't want to attend it. All she wanted was to go home and coward in her bed until enough time had passed for her to feel better. So while everyone else met inside and raised their glasses to Genji, remembering fond moments with him and writing small messages on his old locker, Fareeha drove Angela home, one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding her wife's.
After they had both retired they had decided to buy a house on the coast of Spain, not too far from the Watchpoint so they could always visit, but far enough to never have to think too much about their old work too often. They arrived home in the middle of the night, and found Ana sitting on their couch, drinking her tea while watching a very old movie with the sound so low only the old woman could hear it. She stood up and hugged longly Angela once the two of them had walked in and closed the door. Angela let herself be hugged, but didn't find the strength to reciprocate it.
"How was it?"
"It was very solemn, you would have liked it."
Ana shook her head.
"I didn't know him that well."
Angela hung her coat on the coat-rack and let herself fall on the couch, even more tired than she had thought she was.
Fareeha took off her coat as well, and was about to turn to her mother to ask her a question, but the older woman had already taken her own jacket and slid it on.
"I should go, it's pretty late. Call me if you need anything."
Fareeha shook her head.
"Are you sure, mom? You could crash on the couch or..."
This made the older woman chuckle.
"Ah! Me, crash on the couch with my old back? I would rather go back to the Siberian front than crash on your old thing!"
She quickly kissed her daughter on the cheek and opened the door.
"I'll come by tomorrow."
"Okay... Goodnight mom."
Ana waved at her daughter and quickly climbed on her motorbike, before driving away. Fareeha sighed as her mother drove off into the night. She locked the frontdoor and came crashing on the couch next to her wife. Instantly Angela nuzzled into her, and she encircled her waist with her arms.
"She never tires..." Fareeha comment.
"I'm sure she does, she just doesn't show you."
Fareeha sighed once again. Angela's voice was small and broken from all the crying she had done those past few days.
"Maybe we should go to bed." The younger woman suggested.
It was Angela's turn to sigh.
"I don't think I can sleep."
Silence fell heavily on them. Fareeha carefully untied Angela's hair and began to comb through them lightly. Usually Angela would hum when Fareeha did it, but she didn't, and there was only one explanation to that. She was thinking hard.
"I know what you're thinking..." Fareeha declared, attracting the blond's attention. "But it's not your fault Genji died."
Angela let out a watery chuckle.
"It's stupid isn't it? I know it's not my fault but I can't help but feel... If I hadn't retired, and continued to monitor his condition maybe I would have noticed that he was..."
She found she still couldn't finish her sentence.
"Do you want to go back to work?" Fareeha asked.
Angela seemed surprised that her wife would even suggest it.
"You don't have to be a field medic anymore but you can still help people."
Angela shook her head lightly.
"We promised we would retire together. You're done flying and I'm done working for hours on end. That was the promise we made five years ago and I intend to keep it."
Fareeha only shrugged.
"You don't have to work a lot to help people. You can work half-time."
Angela was about to tell her that she wouldn't even consider it, that they had both retired for a good reason and they had left everything behind for a good reason. But she found that she couldn't. She did miss doing routine check-ups, and twelve hours operations. Sometimes she even missed the excitement of being a field medic.
Sensing her wife needed some time to think, Fareeha declared:
"I'll draw a bath."
Angela managed a weak smile. Fareeha knew hot water somehow helped Angela think. The taller woman pressed a kiss on Angela's head and slid off the couch carefully. She made her way in their room push the door closed, leaving it slightly ajar. Angela continued to ponder longly the situation. She also couldn't take Genji off her mind, and somehow she began to wonder what he would have said. He would have probably told her to do what was right, but she didn't know anymore. A few years ago it was right to help others, to heal them and support them into battle no matter the cost. But not it didn't feel right anymore, no matter how much she wanted it to.
A door cricked open slowly behind her, and naked little feet hesitantly made their way to the couch.
"Mommy?"
She turned around, only to find a little girl with messy black hair clutching a rabbit plush. She didn't seem tired, which let Angela to think that the little girl wasn't sleeping when they arrived.
"Why aren't you asleep?" Angela wondered gently as her daughter climbed next to her on the couch, where Fareeha had been sitting just a few seconds ago.
"I couldn't sleep and Grandma said she would sting me to sleep so I pretended."
Angela let out a sigh. She was pretty sure Ana knew her granddaughter was just pretending to sleep but she let her do, as usual.
"Was it snowy in the mountains?" the little girl asked.
Angela hugged her daughter. They had told her they were going to see an old friend in the mountains. She was six, she didn't need to know what was really going on.
"A bit."
"When are we going to ski again? I like the ski it goes super fast!"
Angela smiled. She pressed a kiss on her daughter's head.
"We have to wait for winter to go ski."
"Oh..."
Angela hugged the little girl closer. She smelled of shampoo and chocolate, which led the blond to believe that she had indeed taken a bath, but Ana had probably let her eat a bit too much chocolate, as usual.
"Alright, time to go to sleep. No pretending this time, or you'll be tired tomorrow."
The girl nodded, and escaped her mother's grasp to run back to her room. Angela stood up and followed her, stretching her arms as she went. The little girl was already back in her bed, ready to sleep, hugging her plush closely. Angela knelled in front of her, and pressed a kiss on her daughter's forehead.
"Alright, go to sleep, baby."
"Goodnight mommy." the little girl said before closing her eyes.
Angela couldn't resist sneaking another kiss before she replied:
"Goodnight Alya, sleep tight."
She turned around, only to come face to face with Fareeha, leaning on the door-frame, with a beautifully happy smile on her lips. She smiled back. This was almost the same situation they had found themselves in, about five years ago, when they had decided to retire. Retire, and stop protecting thousands of innocents, so that one innocent little girl could have a family once again, a family that wouldn't suddenly disappear because of a misplaced mine, a rebounding grenade or bleeding out from a gunshot wound. Angela remembered how longly they had talked about it, how some days it was Fareeha who was reluctant to stop, and how some days it was her.
Angela swiftly made her way to her wife and hugged her. Fareeha hugged her back instantly. Silently they made there way out of Alya's room, and went to their bedroom. There would be time to think, Angela thought, but right now was not one of those.