Morning Merlin fans, or Afternoon, or Evening, depending on where you are.

Yes, here we go again with another story.

I warn you now that this story is really jumpy with the timeline so I will try and help you out as much as I possibly can. I have really enjoyed writing this one and have tired doing something a little different from what I usually do. And, like Apartment Magic, I will be uploading 3 times a week.

For this chapter, Ade is about 3.

Please enjoy this first chapter.

Chapter 1

Hate

The night was quite as the man walked through the forest, heading towards the group of tents. He looked up to the stars and wondered whether his daughter would like to sit outside and look up to them. She had always been fascinated by them, picking out different shapes in them. He would tell her what he had been told about them. The stars we the souls of those who passed, looking down on the world that they created, given that by the triple goddess so they could watch their loved ones.

He smiled to himself, hoping that part of that was true. He could imagine his father looking down on him, hopefully proud of what he had done. He stopped for a moment, taking in the clear night. He was glad for it.

He walked closer to the tents and no one really paid him any attention. He knew that they wouldn't due to the number of times he had walk through the camp with his hood up. He didn't want to be recognised until he reached his daughter. The surprise always used to be spoilt by the whole camp calling him by the name that they had given him, no matter how often he asked for them not to. Apparently all he needed was a hood.

"She is in her tent." One of the druids told him when he looked a little lost.

He thanked her before making his way over to the familiar tent. He pulled back the flap covering the entrance before pulling off his hood.

"Papa." The girl shrieked as she ran to him, jumping into his arms.

"Emrys." The woman who was with her said.

"Ganieda, thank you for looking after her." Merlin told her.

"It is an honour, Emrys. Will there be both of you tonight?"

He shrugged.

"Isn't mama coming?" His daughter asked when he put her down.

"I don't know Ade. I hope so. I don't think she is particularly happy with me at the moment."

"Why?"

He smiled down at her. She was too young to understand the complexity of their relationship. It was so complicated, he was unsure of what was happening between them sometimes.

"How about a story?" He said.

Ade smiled up at him and Ganieda gave him a small bow before she left them. He would very regularly forget that to them, he was like a royal. It depended on how often he visited. He hadn't been able to visit her for a while. There had been problems which Arthur had told him that he had to go and sort out with him. It wasn't that Merlin didn't want to go with him, there were just times when he wished that he could see his daughter more.

Merlin dropped down onto the pile of pillows and blankets. Ade tucked herself into his arm.

"Papa, why do people say you and mama hate each other?" She asked before he could ask what story she wanted

He chuckled before sighing trying to find the right words. It was going back to the complexity of their relationship. They hadn't always hated each other. He was sure that he could never hate her. He could hate the things that she had done, but not her. Never her. The hand she was dealt with wasn't the best and he hadn't really helped her situation.

He looked up at the entrance of the tent as the woman, who had tried to kill him as many times as she had shared his bed, came in. He smiled at her, glad that she had come.

"Because we love each other too much." Morgana said.

Merlin knew that Ade had a big smile on her face but his smile faded to a look of worry as he noticed the rip in her dress. She walked over, with a slight limp, and sat on the other side of her daughter. She looked up to him and he just sighed. He would patch her up later and there would probably be some argument over what had happened.

"That doesn't really answer my question." Ade said.

"There is a thin line between love and hate." Merlin started. "The only reason it looks like we hate each other is because we are on the same path, with the same goals, but we are looking at the path in different ways."

"Why can't you look at it the same way?"

Merlin looked over the top of her head at Morgana.

"It is complicated darling. Anyway, which story is your father going to tell you tonight?"

Merlin gently applied the paste to the wound on Morgana's side.

"I don't want to do this any more." Merlin said.

"We had an agreement."

"Stuff that agreement. I hate the agreement. We should be here, giving Ade the family that she deserves. We should be able to feel the way we want to about each other. I hate it when people say that I hate you. I don't at all."

She turned to him. "I know that. She knows that. You belong in Camelot."

"No I don't."

"Your destiny."

They had this argument a lot. She knew about his destiny but not his magic. It was usually him telling her that he could do it any more but there were some occasions when she would wish to just have some constant human interaction.

"Morgana, this is a day when I want to say stuff it to my destiny. I feel like I am getting further and further away from my goal." He looked up at her. "Come back to Camelot. I am sure Arthur will forgive you. We will just have to leave a few things out but … come back."

"I wouldn't have left in the first place if someone had been honest with me." She spat at him.

"What is that meant to mean?"

She glared at him. "Your magic. Yes, I now know about it Merlin. Or should I say Emrys?"

He had wondered if she had seen him earlier that day. "I had my reasons to keep it from you."

"I felt so alone when I found out about mine. You could have told me Merlin."

"Could I? Sorry for me erring on the side of caution because I thought that you might blame me for everything happening rather than finding out about your own magic."

"Why would I have blamed you?"

He huffed. "Because Uther was looking for someone to blame and I didn't want the finger to be pointed to me."

"Because I would have done that to you." She said sarcastically.

"Morgana."

"Merlin."

He went back to her wound. He didn't want to argue with her. They did it enough.

"I still see you. I still see the woman that came with me to help my village. I still see the woman that went out of her way to make sure that the peasants were given food during the famine. I still see the strong woman who was locked up because Gwen's father was arrested. I still see the woman I fell in love with."

"You shouldn't." She whispered. "I am not that person any more."

"We are as bad as each other. We have both done things that we aren't proud of."

"I think mine are worst. I was the reason my own father died."

"And I almost killed you."

She sighed heavily before she placed her hand on his cheek, making him look at her.

"If it is any consolation, I still see the lost lost boy who had never seen the city. I still see the man that busted into chambers with Mordred. I still see the man that tried his best to help me. I see the man that I shouldn't have even given a second glance to."

Merlin put down the bowl with the paste in before he sat next to her on the log. He leant down and kissed her.

"I don't want to do this any more." He whispered. "I feel like I am choosing between the woman and child I love and the man I have been told to help. I can't do it any more. I don't want to see you hurt, or worse, dead."

She grabbed his hand. "Come on, it has been a long day for the both of us."

He allowed her to pull him up and towards the tent, assigned to them if they wanted to stay. He kissed her again after they entered. He wanted to drown himself in her, for he knew in the morning, he would have to leave both of them. Tonight, they were lovers. Tomorrow, they were enemies.